HOI4 Dev Diary - Bag of Tricks #1

[Nikolai II]

months ago one of the pdx devs offered to send me surströmming, and still haven't figured out if they were being nice or if it was a threat

Maybe they were hoping for you to be able to get some amusing anecdotes, or even make a fun comparison with some other (dumb) stuff you've eaten or done.
Like so: http://demislw.com/2014/03/09/its-a-fork-off-the-worlds-foulest-food/

 

[Sourlol]

If we have stuff in the DLC that people want, they will call it a greedy cashgrab....So saying that the community is upset about having to pay for content is a non-statement.

At the end of the day you're a business not a free lunch. This is entertainment, a movie costs upwards of $40, in some markets, with a date and concessions; sporting events are $75+ before food and beer; the 4th night out of the week is $70+ with the drunk food and it comes with a hangover. Hoi is like $30 all in on a steam sale for what has now come to 780 hours. So what the DLC comes with a minimap--will I even use it? Ive gotten this far without it--all Im thinking about it what the actual features of the DLC are going to be that havent event been announced yet.

 

[Had a dad]

Maybe they were hoping for you to be able to get some amusing anecdotes, or even make a fun comparison with some other (dumb) stuff you've eaten or done.
Like so: http://demislw.com/2014/03/09/its-a-fork-off-the-worlds-foulest-food/

OMG sooooo funny... and now I know it was a threat

from the article

Spoiler: OMG

it was actually a comparison to Hákarl to Surströmming, but this was the writers feelings about Surströmming
Ease of procurement: Easy and cheap, like heroin.

opening package: Was very prepared this time, and thought I was really clever utilising the balcony. The fermentation pressure build-up in the can sprayed liquid out everywhere, but I’d done the reading, and did all of the opening inside a plastic bag. Still feeling cocky at this point – for about 0.5 seconds.

initial stench: Much, much worse than anticipated. Less ammonia, more of a shit smell at first, hints of sulfur, before hitting my nostrils with a overwealming assault of that ‘death’ smell. That, and a few hints of the same ‘where fishing boats come in’ smell – there were notes that were quite similar to that of Hákarl, but only a few. A very different beast. Involuntary gagging began within two seconds of the can opening.

stench growth: The smell only got worse over time, and changed its tone constantly. Just as you thought you were getting a handle on one aspect of it, something else would hit you. There were simply too many smells for my brain to cancel out or keep control of, all of them 10/10 horrible, all of them building over time.

stench linger time: Unsure, though already the linger time has beaten Hákarl by a long shot. I can’t get the stuff off my hands. I made the mistake of trying to film the experience on my phone, and smudged some juice on the touch-screen at one point – my phone now smells too, even though I’ve wiped that spot down with several chemicals. I don’t think it’ll ever die from whatever it touched. How do you kill something that’s already dead? Oh god. Make it stop.

appearance:Once the can was open, the contents looked exactly like what it was : a sludge of rotten fish. There was nothing appetizing about the presentation. Nothing. It looked as bad as it smelled. (Sorry, as it smells. SMELLS. Present tense. Make it stop…). At least it wasn’t pretending, not like Hákarl. Even if you can’t smell it, Surströmming looks like something you don’t want to eat.

first bite: By the time I had the first piece in my mouth, trying to bite through the skin/bone/flesh, the juices splattering over my face and hands, my stomach had had enough. There was no time to savour or think about the experience. I knew I only had seconds left, as my chest was already hunched and heaving. The only strange thing I did notice was that the flesh itself felt almost fizzy on my tongue at one point, like bubbles in beer. This didn’t help anything. It was all wrong. All so very wrong. The smell. THE SMELL.

swallowing: My time was long over by the time I got up to swallowing. As I began to swallow, the retching began. I continued to try, and believe at one point I managed to get the mouthful about half-way down my throat, but it wasn’t long before I was bent over the plastic bag puking Surströmming back into the can. Then, an extended period of dry-retching. It took about a minute before I had the presence of mind to force myself away from the source of the smell, which was doing most of the ongoing damage. As for the herring, I doubt I digested any more than a fraction of a gram of the stuff in the end. My body simply said “NO” to Surströmming.

immediate aftermath: There was no time for reflection. As soon as I’d finished puking, I ran inside, gathered five or six plastic bags, and set about wrapping up the source of the death-smell. That stench was just seemed to keep growing in volume and menace similar to the black-cloud monster thing from ‘Lost’, spreading out like a nuclear fallout that badly needed to be contained, and fast. There was a desperation and urgency to removing all trace of it from my house, from my life. I was down the street within 60 seconds, where I carefully placed the six-times-wrapped-but-still-opened can upright at the bottom of a bin that I wouldn’t smell when they emptied it. I feel sorry for those garbage men. I really do, but this had quickly become a self-preservation issue, consequences be damned.

Extended aftermath: I’m mostly just hoping that I don’t end up in a discussion where somebody claims to have found something worse to eat than Surströmming. Surely this is the limit. It was for me at least. I don’t think I’m going to get over it for a while, though fortunately as I didn’t digest any of it, I don’t feel sick or anything now. With the Hákarl I felt a bit funny all afternoon, but with this, if I could get the last of the smell off my fingers/phone, I’d be feeling no adverse physical effects now, only mental ones.

overall feeling: There is no reason for people to feel they need to eat Surströmming at all, ever, for any reason. If I had to chose between eating Hákarl every day of my life or eating Surströmming one more time, I would still go with the daily shark. It was horrible in so many more ways that Hákarl wasn’t. I walked away from the shark dish in November feeling like I’d touched the edge of the Universe, but in reality, I hadn’t come even close. This is by far the worst thing a human can ever eat. I’ve accidentally eaten dog-shit before – this was worse. I’ve accidentally sipped some urine that had been congealing in a plastic drink bottle for several months – this was worse (but only just – in a remarkably similar ball-park). Don’t try this, thinking it’s going to be cool. It’s not going to be cool trying something so gross. It’s going to be horrible. You are going to vomit. You are going to wish you’d never gotten yourself into this in the first place. There’s no silver-lining to the experience, apart from the thought that perhaps, eating it with Swedish locals, already fully tanked on very, very strong clear spirits, you’re just drunk enough that you keep more of it down than I did. Horrible. Words can’t describe it.


Surströmming is, by far, the world’s most foul thing designed to be eaten by human beings.
Congratulations, Sweden, and IN YOUR FACE, ICELAND!

 

[CrazyZombie]

At the end of the day you're a goddamn business not a free lunch. This is entertainment, a movie costs upwards of $40, in some markets, with a date and concessions; sporting events are $75+ before food and beer; the 4th night out of the week is $70+ with the drunk food and it comes with a hangover. Hoi is like $30 all in on a steam sale for what has now come to 780 hours. So what the DLC comes with a minimap--will I even use it? Ive gotten this far without it--all Im thinking about it what the actual features of the DLC are going to be that havent event been announced yet.

Well, it seems that filthy Western (and hopefully Eastern too) invaders will start to freeze to death in the glory of Mother Russia and General Frost.
Also we were kind of promised fuel, if I remember it right.

 

[Ksyr]

I have been quite happy scrolling around in HOI4. I didn't even notice there was no mini map for a long time.

 

[Gamer_1745]

Repeatedly just self-promoting your own youtube videos in the same thread is not a fun way to talk in a forum. If you want to contribute something to the discussion, just write it. People can still click the link in your signature if they are so inclined.

I am sorry you don't like the video posts. I don't type so well & it takes be (me) a lot of time. I lose track of what I am trying to say as I concentrate on typing (an spelling). It never come (comes) out as well as I thought it before starting to type.

This took about 3 minutes for me to type and if I had typed up what I said after recording it, to make sure I didn't lose my train of thought, it would have taken me hours.

Now 6 minutes.

Edit:The 2 corrections were made after posting now 7 minutes.

 

[Gort11]

I don't really want a minimap but I'm not offended that it'll be in a DLC or that others will use it.

I'll probably wait to try it before I form too much of an opinion on it - maybe it'll be useful for playing countries like the UK where you can't easily fit your whole war on the same screen at once.

 

[paranoidsteve]

I don't miss the mini map .I cannot understand the rage. My troops are always sorted by theaters, and to get to a front I just click on the command in that theater and the map scrolls automatically.

 

[SeekTruthFromFx]

I don't miss the mini map .I cannot understand the rage. My troops are always sorted by theaters, and to get to a front I just click on the command in that theater and the map scrolls automatically.

If the enemy always appeared where you've already placed your troops, then warfare would be a lot easier.

 

[Heracli]

Actual question, where will the pointer guide you with control group? Since your division can easily transit and spreadtrough all the world will the camera be on the largest group or the allocated frontline

 

[ShaTiK]

Is it only me or consolidate feature is only useful for AI and when you are in a really bad spot? Unless you have a huge deficit of stuff and manpower - there is no need at all in consolidation. And if you have said deficit - something went wrong or you are just loosing badly. Especially manpower, if you are at All Adults and have no manpower - you either have too much divisions or you are trying to be USSR without having 100 million core population
For now (100 hours) I only see need for this feature for AI and AI, I don't even have a word for that, his insanity, I guess, when it comes to the sheer number of divisions. At one moment fascist Spain had 500, Japan (haven taken some parts of USSR) 1000, US (when invaded) 500. None of them, realistically, can't afford then, even US. Supplying this armada, while it suffers from attrition and tries (totally unsuccessfully) to attack me and looses thousands in manpower and guns is actually painful to watch. At least in 2 of the mentioned scenarios, Spain and US, they just grinded out millions of man and most of their equipment. Not that consolidate will save them, but at least will will make if feasible for, say, USSR, to at least try to stand the ground. Instead, right now, front-line divisions loose everything and get steamrolled, all the while AI just pumps out more and more divisions.

 

[Novatheorem]

How long do map pings persist? In MP, if I'm sharing my battleplan with someone, can I use the pings to indicate where I intend to take and hold vs plan to continue advancing? I would imagine the pings will dissipate in 3-5 seconds (which would therefore be a no)?

 

[REDDQ]

I don't miss the mini map .I cannot understand the rage. My troops are always sorted by theaters, and to get to a front I just click on the command in that theater and the map scrolls automatically.

Yeah, pretty much.

 

[wingo]

Put me in the camp that did not miss the minimap. I still might use it though.

 

[Gr1pen]

I missed it, happy it's included.
Guess it's just a mix of people that did miss it and some that don't.

 

[ltccone]

At the end of the day you're a goddamn business not a free lunch. This is entertainment, a movie costs upwards of $40, in some markets, with a date and concessions; sporting events are $75+ before food and beer; the 4th night out of the week is $70+ with the drunk food and it comes with a hangover. Hoi is like $30 all in on a steam sale for what has now come to 780 hours. So what the DLC comes with a minimap--will I even use it? Ive gotten this far without it--all Im thinking about it what the actual features of the DLC are going to be that havent event been announced yet.

I know what you mean. According to Steam I have played this game over 2500 hours, all in SP, despite its flaws. I bought the cadet version plus the expansion pass.

There are always new things to try. Right now, I'm playing as Germany, experimenting with a new type of 20 width panzer division. Instead of my usual 6xARM 4xMOT division, I'm trying a 4xARM 3xMOT 2xSPA division.

 

[xtfoster]

I am pretty sure the minimap was 95% copypaste (and maybe was done by some intern who works there for food), but it doesn't matter - at this point the boundary between paid and free content is largely imaginary. They both are essentially part of the DLC. That's the fundamental issue with these modular DLCs and there is no way around it - some features have to be free with this model, and it leads to such insignificance becoming paid part of the DLC.

You 'sir' obviously know nothing about 'real' programming.

 

[Pyro157]

Well, it seems that filthy Western (and hopefully Eastern too) invaders will start to freeze to death in the glory of Mother Russia and General Frost.
Also we were kind of promised fuel, if I remember it right.

In China's case, the Japanese took the coast easily, then discovered China's rocky, booby-trapped interior and got permanently stuck for 7 years. Even when they took ground they got nowhere close to Chongqing, and lost Yunnan too.

Also, vodka + Soviet conscripts = INSTANT BULLET MACHINE OF DEATH, MOSIN MAGICALLY BECOMES 10X FASTER

By fuel, did the US promise fuel as part of lend-lease aid?

If you make it again here and visit for example Volgograd, never try vodka "Stalingrad". It is something, you can surely burn a tank with.

Somebody get the Finns so they can have greatest Molotov at last.

 

[XYN]

You 'sir' obviously know nothing about 'real' programming.

Keep me 'updated'.

 

[SeekTruthFromFx]

>Also we were kind of promised fuel, if I remember it right.

By fuel, did the US promise fuel as part of lend-lease aid?.

Shockingly, I think @CrazyZombie was referring to the DLC. We were told that the team hoped to improve the supply system, possibly including fuel, at some point in the next year or so. It wasn't a promise for "Cornflakes" (and given how much quality content is already coming in Cornflakes, I would be very pleasantly surprised if fuel/supply improvements are included).