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A Comedy of Errors - Portugal AAR

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unmerged(25095)

Private
Jan 27, 2004
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Foreword​



So, this is my second post on the Paradox forums, my first game of Hearts of Iron, and my first AAR. I've only played a few games of EU2 before this, and two of the Tutorials for HoI don't work properly for me (Resources stops at the Free Market point, and either Military Management or Warfare stops responding at what I hope is the tail end of the lesson), so I'm sure you can forsee how this game is going to turn out.

I'm starting with The Road to War (1936-1948) as Portugal, Normal Difficulty and Aggressiveness, and with Fog of War ON. Pure conjecture here, but I'm thinking Portugal will be good to start with. It's not so small there'll be nothing for me to do, and it's not so big that I'll be overwhelmed. These are my hopes at least...

My goals with this are to at least provide mild entertainment value, play my first game of HoI, and hopefully get some feedback from you people as to what I'm doing correctly/incorrectly so as to become a better player. Any advice at all will be much appreciated.

With that said, here we go!
 
Characters


General Antonio Oscar de Fragoso Carmona, Portugese Head of State.

Pepe, Trusted advisor/confidant/lackey of General Antonio Carmona

Antonio Oliveira Salazar, Head of Government, Foreign Minister, Armaments Minister

Mario Pais de Sousa, Minister of Security

Pedro Teotonio Pereira, Minister of Intelligence

Tasso Miranda Cabral, Chief of Staff

J.A. Lobato Guerra, Chief of Army

Joao Canto e Castro, Chief of Navy

Manuel Gouveia, Chief of Air
 
Good man, well I can't wait to see how you turn Portugal into a world dominating empire controlling at least half of the world.
Haha, or not. Whatever happens, I'll enjoy it.
 
ACT I

SCENE I. The office of GENERAL ANTONIO CARMONA.

Enter CARMONA, PEPE, SALAZAR.



CARMONA: Pepe.

PEPE: Sir?

CARMONA: Get me a danish.

PEPE: Right away sir!

CARMONA: Oh, and tell Mario I'd like to see him...

PEPE: Anything else I can do for you while I'm up Sir? Fetch the morning paper? Perhaps those fuzzy bunny slippers you're so fond of Sir? Shall I warm them for you too Sir? We can't have the General's toes getting cold now can we Sir? Perhaps I could then...

CARMONA: I'm no stranger to sarcasm Pepe.

PEPE: Right, I'll be leaving now Sir.

Exit PEPE.

CARMONA: So, Salazar...

SALAZAR: Hmmm?

CARMONA: I believe you have too many hats.

SALAZAR: Pardon?

CARMONA: Too many hats! You do too much. You have too many jobs around here. I think it's high time you've had a break, so I'm giving the Minister of Armaments job to someone else. I understand you never really cared for the position anyway.

SALAZAR: Who did you have in mind?

CARMONA: Raul Brandao.

SALAZAR: The Resource Industrialist? He's a good guy, he'll do fine in that position.

CARMONA: Let's hope so. I'm also giving Afonso Lucas the Minister of Security position.

SALAZAR: Never liked Mario anyway. He's too shifty, I always get the feeling he's some sort of Crooked Kleptocrat. Anyway, I'm starving... I'm going to go get myself a danish.

Exit SALAZAR. Enter MARIO.

MARIO: You wanted to see me Sir?

CARMONA: You're fired.

MARIO: Sir?

CARMONA: It's come to my attention that you've been using our government office supplies for personal use. Why, Maria the Lunchlady even saw you take a spoon from the cafeteria last week. I can't stand for such corruption in this administration. So, you'll have your desk cleaned out by lunch...and leave the stapler...and the spoon...and Pepe will be counting your pencils to make sure they're all accounted for.

MARIO: Fascist.

CARMONA: I know you are but what am I?

MARIO: Fascist.

CARMONA: I know you are but what am I?

MARIO: Fascist.

CARMONA: I know you are but what am I?

MARIO: Fascist.

CARMONA: Ok ok, enough of this! You're replaced, it's final. I'm sure you can go back to work with your brother Luigi. You don't have to go home, but you're not staying here. So make like a tree and get out of here!

Exit MARIO.
 
ACT I

SCENE II. The office of GENERAL ANTONIO CARMONA.

Enter CARMONA.


CARMONA: Pepe!

Enter Pepe.

PEPE: Sir?

CARMONA: It says here on this paper that the magnificent and powerful Portugese armed forces...please note my rank of General...that our forces, in their entirety, consist of two...TWO Infantry Divisions and one Tactical Bomber wing.

PEPE: You've forgotten the submarines sir, and the destroyer squadron. Perhaps they're on another piece of paper?

CARMONA: Mmmm. Indeed. Surely the world trembles before the might that is Portugal!

PEPE: Sir, I don't think...

CARMONA: Ok, perhaps not. In any case, this simply will not do, Pepe. It will not do! We must remedy this situation, for I have grand plans. Grand!

PEPE: Of course you do Sir.

CARMONA: Exactly! I believe it's high time I make some Command Decisions. I mean, what kind of outfit am I running here? So...here is what I have decided:

PEPE: Should I be taking some sort of notes or something Sir? Because I can...I mean...if you want.

CARMONA: Just pay attention will you? The first order of business: Build more Industry in Lissabon. I'm not sure what good it'll do us, but it sounds good. Second, have our scientists improve our Basic Infantry weapons.

PEPE: Ok sir! Consider them done.

Exit PEPE.
 
Ah, the order of the day in Portugal!
 
ACT I

SCENE III. The office of GENERAL ANTONIO CARMONA.

(It is now July, 1936)

Enter CARMONA, PERIERA.

PERIERA: Sir, it appears the Spanish have a Civil War on their hands. The country is now split into Nationalist Spain and Republican Spain. Nationalist Spain shares the majority of our border. My sources tell me that both France and Britain ask "Why Support The Anarchist Rabble?", that Germany declares that Franco needs no help, and that both Russia and Italy have sent aid and volunteers...I believe to the Nationalists.

CARMONA: Excellent work. We're in quite a delicate position here however. We really have no military to speak of, and we're pretty close to the action. Choosing the wrong side in this could spell our doom. Our own ideals seem more in line with Nationalist Spain, send some diplomats to curry favor with them. Other than that, lets just sit back and see how events play out.

PERIERA: I'll make it happen Sir.

Exit PERIERA.

CARMONA: ....We are not prepared for this...
 
Do they have to enter the Civil War?
 
Who, Spain? I guess so, they're duking it out with each other right now. Territory continues to change hands. It's interesting watching it play out. I'm interested in getting some fighting in, but have virtually no military, and all my production is tied up in research for another couple months.
 
So, a play. I will be watching. A tough country, but one that has tremendous potential for good clean fun.
 
ACT I

SCENE IV. The office of GENERAL ANTONIO CARMONA.

(It is now February 14, 1938. Valentine's Day)

Enter CARMONA, PEPE.

CARMONA: Pepe! It seems our economy is on the verge of collapse.

PEPE: It certainly does look that way Sir.

CARMONA: I don't like this Pepe, not one bit. In two day's time, our economy will be working at a fraction of it's true potential. The vast and mighty Potugese war machine...which still consists of TWO Infantry Divisions and one Squadron of Tactical Bombers....

PEPE: ...but with better equipment Sir...

CARMONA: ...but with better equipment, and...

PEPE: ..and you forgot the boats again Sir.

CARMONA: ...yes, yes...they're not exactly memorable, have you seen them? My POINT IS, that this will impede the progress of our war efforts. We're at war Pepe! War! You can't have war without...without...STUFF!

PEPE: We're at war Sir? I wasn't aware that...who are we at war with Sir?

CARMONA: Brazil!

PEPE: Brazil Sir? We're at war with Brazil?

CARMONA: Well, we haven't exactly expressed this to them.

PEPE: You don't think we should tell them Sir?

CARMONA: What, and spoil the fun? Not a chance!

PEPE: Very well, Sir...my lips are sealed.

CARMONA: Excellent. I shall need to speak with my advisors. We must ready our plans. Brazil! Ha! The fools won't know what hit them!

PEPE: If we hit them at all Sir...

CARMONA: I'm picking up a negative vibe from you Pepe.

PEPE: Not negative Sir, I'm just... I'm sure we'll do fine Sir. I'll go get the Ministers and Chief of Staff.

Exit PEPE.
 
Don't forget to bring us screenshots of The War of Brazilian Reconquist, or in Portuguese... A Guerra da Reconquista Brasileira!
:p
 
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