5678,
Who do we appreciate.
You need ICQ, as has been said. If you don't have it, get it. If you won't get it, well, bye. It's the standard here and it's usefulness can't be overstated. The volume of organization, back-biting, recruiting, sub-finding, bickering, rule and scenario discussion, game creation and diplomacy on ICQ is thousands of times greater than what you see on the boards.
After you get ICQ, you need these numbers on your buddy list:
273839083 (that's me)
202402373 (that's FAL, our lovely new moderator who's just a kid in EU II MP years and whom we all resent enormously for getting the job and ridicule behind his back but pretend to like to his face because he can edit our posts)
264661173 (that's Aladar, also a kid in EU II MP years who runs some novice and semi-novice games)
83278192 (that's Fred, like me a crusty old-timer but nice enough, provided you don't wake him up during his nap)
50674554 (that's the_genius; why this is his user name is unknown, but it cannot be MP related)
317899057 (that's HAL; he's Polish. You would never know it though)
294204319 (that's Caslu; he says he'll be my sub forever but he's always going out with the guys)
4193818 (that's Temujin; he lost his first ever war to me and ever since we have shared a bond that transcends all the times I've told him to go fuck himself in a tantrum that would shame a two year old)
147106898 (that's Cheech; he is from Scotland and he fixed my router. I will blow him any time, any place)
236-188-964 (that's Van Engel; I would write something witty about him but I honestly had no idea he was still playing)
That is a list of all the currently active GMs I know. There are a couple more I don't know, but as I don't know them I'm not comfortable recommending them or posting their ICQ numbers.
I would add all those people and contact them with your willingness to sub. It may be a little dry for a while, but GMs are always in need of subs and will often provide them with their younger sisters and six packs if they'll just spare an hour of their time.
Before you get started, I do suggest reading Jarkko's wonderful (and old-has it been that long? he doesn't even play anymore) MP guide and the various other guides it recommends. I also have here the Ten Most Important Things to Know About EU II MP If You Don't Want to Be Thought of As An Asshole (Or At Least Not For These Ten Things):
1. Do not select before the host. Not ever. Take the country you're assigned, or your own country if you're a perm*, after the host selects, particularly in your first game or you will be savagely ridiculed and probably told THE FIRST RULE OF SLARHOST, in those caps with exclamation points, despite the fact that Slarhost is long dead and Slargos himself is now a transsexual drunk.
2. NAP = Non-Aggression Pact. Most games allow you to break them, but don't. Don't even think it. Especially before you're established. This community feels about Non-Aggression Pacts the way Republicans feel about Ronald Reagan. If you violate him, they'll go crazy.
3. We are children. We may call ourselves adults and talk about our degrees and jobs and women and favorite whiskey label, but we're not adults. We are children. You must take what we say in the heat of anger (which is most of the time) as if you're talking to a five year old. This is nowhere more true than in talking to me. If you take it personally, we will collectively ostracize you from the community like you're the red headed kid with headgear who's never made out with Cindy Reynolds** in the tube slide.
4. We say "aye" and "indeed" a lot. We believe it makes us seem less like children if we talk like pirates sitting in parliament. You must do this too.
5. We give each other nicknames (again, much like children). I am HoG and it would be wise to beware of me. Slargos is Sluthost. Damocles is Damoclit. King John is "Oh God, please don't, please not again." Hive is something we're not allowed to call him anymore. Only the cool kids get nicknames like that. Everybody else is either shortened or has a "ster" added to his name. Falster, Davester, Fredster. You will inevitably be nicknamed Debbie. Wear it with pride.
6. "I quit" does not actually mean you quit. You need to submit a resignation in writing, initialed and bearing a seal from the notary public in your town, city, hamlet, yurt, whatever, three times, the final time in blood. Everybody "quits" at least once a week. It's a form of expression here. Like "hello" and "I have to go to the bathroom." The best way to actually quit is to say "This is a great game, you're all wonderful and I'm having the best time." If you say this, we will know for sure that you're done playing.
7. World Conqueror, WC, Hmmm, Mhhh and Babur may have different playstyles (all variations on "bad") but they are all the same dissociated German. Do not be fooled.
8. FFS means For Fuck Sake. This is a new addition to the community brought by Drake and has recently caused confusion. It is now rapidly going into wide use. If you use the term "FFS" you are an asshole.
9. A "ganging" is what you call any war you are currently losing. "Against the odds" is what you call any war you are currently winning.
10. Byng is the worst EU II MP player there has ever been. He cheats, hates Jews, insists on playing the Incas and is banned from this community. Do not ask about him. Do not play with him. Do not not even mention his name or BiB's secret police will...
Oh. God.
Tell the world my story, Debbie.
*This may sound obvious, but after you've spent some time on Vnet you'll see why I mention it. Also, the only insights I have involve glaringly obvious things everyone aready knows.
**Oh, that slut Cindy Reynolds. She'd french anybody.
. Alot better than for example 4931 or 193856434. But that is personal opinion of course.
