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Writer of the Week: Peter Ebbesen

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M.I.A
Mar 14, 2003
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For this weeks WoW, I have chosen a writAAR at home in both the EU and HoI AAR forums (ED: And the Victoria Forum it would now seem!).

His all too brief AAR (IMHO) of the spectaculAAR march by the glorious armies of Nationalist China is truly one of the funnist AARs that aims to ridicule the lame nature of the A.I of HoI as it was at v1.01 (You latecomers be thankful!:D)

Amongst the little gems to look forward to in this AAR are:
- The ultimate Belgium Franco-German strategy - v1.01 (in short)
- The indestructible Mighty Militia totaling 48 Divisions (cameo)
- British War Entry reaching an incredible -88% (??)
and
- A multitude of some of the most witty statements to grace an AAR.

With the behemoth of the Soviet Union to the north, the amibitious nation of Japan to the East and surrounded by so many satellite states with their own agendas.

Can the Nationalist Chinese win against all odds?

If you want to find out if they survive or do slightly better than survive against the infallible AI then I suggest you read Chopsticks in the Mist.

In the meantime, please join with me in congratulating Peter Ebbesen, our Writer of the Week.

Sir, step forwards and introduce yourself.

Congrats
 
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Go P.E.! Congratulations, man.
 
yeeeeaaaa....

I'm reading his victoria aar right now (hopefully more updates to come)

Congrats PE, trully one of the funniest aar ever
 
The man already got his congratulations for an entire century, so allow me not joining the voices.....so, Peter, just "Mediocre work with the Chinese...you haven't manage to conquer the known universe, and claim that the 1.01 AI is stupid?":)
 
Congrats.

Regards,

Low
:p
 
It's happening again...

Hopefully P.E. will notice he's being honored sometime :p.
 
He was PMed before the thread was created.

It is his choice when he picks it up. In the meantime either pass on your congrats to Peter in this thread or cease commenting on his absence please.

If you want to make a helpful comment please PM me in the first instance or Lord Durham, if I dont back to you in a reasonable time period.

Thank you

2Coats - God I, starting to sound like a mod!;)
 
Yes, you do sound like a mod! Stop it!:)

Well, PE had certain issues with HoI back then and I suspect he isn't particuarly proud of an AAR made specially to ridicule the AI and the early versions of the game. Still, the AAR is excellent, and deserves as much as anything else he created, this award!

God, I'm starting to sound like a crazed fan!:D
 
'Chopsticks...' induced me into hysterical laughter. Anyone or anything that can do that deserves kudos galore!
 
....As I stand on a desolate hillside overlooking the riven rock and the barren plains below, where recently the air resounded to the clamour of fierce battlelust and the cries of the wounded and the dying, but now only the dejected ghosts of the slain stir the morning mists with their anguish, I gaze fondly on the crows, harbingers of my coming and champions of recycling, when a whisper on the air interrupts my reverie.

You have been chosen Writer of the Week, Sir.

...I hear a faint voice call from behind me. I turn around, slowly, and behold a foolhardy adventuring journalist with a minicam and a deathwish.

Just thought you should know, sir.

I regard him, quizzically. What does he want of me?

Care to answer a few questions?

I sigh, my will made substance, and the temperature chills by a degree or two. If it is not one thing, it is another. Yet let me answer the dummy and let him live. I will it.

So, how did you enjoy commanding the forces of Nationalist China in Chopsticks in the Mist?

It was... Frustrating... So many good ideas, so many correct choices in the interface, and, unfortunately, a boring result.

Boring? But you made it sound so interesting!

One of my multitude of skills, lackey. I admit to a fair bit of interest at the beginning, back in 1936, but it lacked one important part - Challenge. And without challenge, what are we?

Errhmm.

Or, as they say, is it better to burn out, or to fade away?

Well....

The answer is, of course, neither. It is better to persevere against the odds, but the setting was utterly incapable of presenting a challenge..

But that was back in 1.01, Sir. It is much, much, better now.

Undoubtedly, undoubtedly. Please take three steps to the right and do a small hop.

Excuse me?

Hard of hearing, are you? Three steps to the right and a hop.

But I will fall off the hill if I do that!

Strictly speaking, that is true.

*Some people*

Now, any chance of you ever returning to HOI?

No. None whatsoever. For multiplayer purposes, the warfare and intricate diplomacy of EU2 remain superior, and for singleplayer purposes, fighting the same war over and over is not my cup of tea. My advantages are too great, no matter which side I control.

Also Tannu Tuva?

Well, there are exceptions... Three steps and a hop, please, or..

Or what, big guy? Did you write Chopsticks as a Parody? Did you intend to make fun of HOI?

Really, some people! I was new to the scene and had next to no experience with the time period. I actually expected my choice of nation to give me a hard time. Only gradually did I become aware of the intolerable stupidity of certain external factors and the sheer number of bugs. Beginning as an adventure, it ended up as a farce, much to my chagrin.. Three steps...

And a hop. FORGET IT!

...As the foolish reporter disappears beneath the hooves of the charging hussars, my attention returns to the plains below, where yet another 40,000 infantry are assembling in the distance. Truly, it is a great battlefield. The entrenched artillery open fire and churn up the broken fields, disturbing the ghosts, and two infantry guards' divisions prepare to withstand the assault. The enemy is numerous and well-trained, their weaponry and tactics superior. Under the banner of their mighty empire, they march for Queen and Country, and few can stand against them... Until now. In the end, there can be only one Empire under the Sun, and at the end of the day I see victory, though I stand in Blood to the Ankles, and Rising.


Must. SLEEP. 13h workday finished. Saw the notice earlier but did not have time to respond.

For a serious* presentation of myself, and how I came to be the incredibly twisted yet greathearted guy I currently am, you will have to find my EU2 WoW from many months back, which may prove a bit of a chore without the search function. :)


* For a certain value of serious
 
Congratulations, Mr. Ebbesen. I must say you have a great sense of humour. :D
 
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