You obviously don`t get the point. Romans are peaceful culture mediators, who occasionally have to defend themselves.
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You obviously don`t get the point. Romans are peaceful culture mediators, who occasionally have to defend themselves.
Rome - 9th March 679 AUC
Consul Quintus Fabius Gurges is having a small breakfast early in the morning and reading the newspaper, while his wife Cornelia Lentulia files her nails.
Q: "Unbelievable. The Latin Peace Foundation found out, that the military spending around the Mediterranean took a major boost in the last decades. I tell you, these darn militaristic weirdoes around us."
C: "Correct, Darling. Not as if our own armed forces literally doubled in the last 20 years."
Q: "But they are imperialists."
C: "Aha." *files* "Would you please pass me some of these Iberian fruits we import from our territories there."
Q: "You miss the point. We are simply colonists."
C: *stares at her nails* "I bet it was really wonderful for the natives having their villages burned to the ground."
Q: "But we need to expand in order to scare off our enemies who pose a constant threat."
C: "You mean the very same enemies we would never had, if we hadn`t left Italy? Like whom?"
Q: "First off the Seleucians."
C: "Whoooo, the Seleucians. Of course, people who fight 30 years with the Egyptians over maybe three provinces while losing a dozen provinces due to revolts caused by war-weariness are way too smart to be outwitted."
Q: "And there is Egypt."
C: "Ah, yes, the Egyptians, who pile up millions blocks of stones weighing tons each, while losing a war versus these Seleucian smartypants. You are right, these guys are such a threat."
Q: "But..."
C: *gabbles* "And their ado about their tradition and history. As if nobody knew about how they came to the throne by killing old Alex. Do you remember the Egyptian envoy at the party last month? Was going into conniptions just because I kicked the cat. Gods."
Q: "I..."
C: *gabbles* "And did you see what his wife was wearing? I mean, honestly, her guide dog should have howled."
Q: "And there is the Gaul menace."
C: "I forgot. A bunch of half-naked guys living in burrows and armed with wooden spears are about to pillage Rome and abuse all women." *makes a pause* "Although, the half-naked-part sounds interesting." *smiles and continues with her nail polish*
Q: "Honey, you just don`t understand the purpose of armed forces."
C: "Oh, Darling, I`m completely aware that you and the other boys desperately need to compete who has the largest....Army." *grins diabolically*
Q: *grunts* "I`m off to work."
C: "Where are you today?"
Q: "I`ll have to visit our borders. Maybe I`ll join the reinforcements en route to Cheruscii. There is this new commander of the cavalry, Armininus. Seems to be a nice guy."
C: "Have a nice daaaay."
(Will he really go to Cheruscii? Is he in for some surprises? Will his wife even notice? Find out in the next chapter.)
Consul Quintus Fabius Gurges is having a small breakfast early in the morning and reading the newspaper, while his wife Cornelia Lentulia files her nails.
Q: "Unbelievable. The Latin Peace Foundation found out, that the military spending around the Mediterranean took a major boost in the last decades. I tell you, these darn militaristic weirdoes around us."
C: "Correct, Darling. Not as if our own armed forces literally doubled in the last 20 years."
Q: "But they are imperialists."
C: "Aha." *files* "Would you please pass me some of these Iberian fruits we import from our territories there."
Q: "You miss the point. We are simply colonists."
C: *stares at her nails* "I bet it was really wonderful for the natives having their villages burned to the ground."
Q: "But we need to expand in order to scare off our enemies who pose a constant threat."
C: "You mean the very same enemies we would never had, if we hadn`t left Italy? Like whom?"
Q: "First off the Seleucians."
C: "Whoooo, the Seleucians. Of course, people who fight 30 years with the Egyptians over maybe three provinces while losing a dozen provinces due to revolts caused by war-weariness are way too smart to be outwitted."
Q: "And there is Egypt."
C: "Ah, yes, the Egyptians, who pile up millions blocks of stones weighing tons each, while losing a war versus these Seleucian smartypants. You are right, these guys are such a threat."
Q: "But..."
C: *gabbles* "And their ado about their tradition and history. As if nobody knew about how they came to the throne by killing old Alex. Do you remember the Egyptian envoy at the party last month? Was going into conniptions just because I kicked the cat. Gods."
Q: "I..."
C: *gabbles* "And did you see what his wife was wearing? I mean, honestly, her guide dog should have howled."
Q: "And there is the Gaul menace."
C: "I forgot. A bunch of half-naked guys living in burrows and armed with wooden spears are about to pillage Rome and abuse all women." *makes a pause* "Although, the half-naked-part sounds interesting." *smiles and continues with her nail polish*
Q: "Honey, you just don`t understand the purpose of armed forces."
C: "Oh, Darling, I`m completely aware that you and the other boys desperately need to compete who has the largest....Army." *grins diabolically*
Q: *grunts* "I`m off to work."
C: "Where are you today?"
Q: "I`ll have to visit our borders. Maybe I`ll join the reinforcements en route to Cheruscii. There is this new commander of the cavalry, Armininus. Seems to be a nice guy."
C: "Have a nice daaaay."
(Will he really go to Cheruscii? Is he in for some surprises? Will his wife even notice? Find out in the next chapter.)
Rome - 22nd December 696 AUC
Consul Septimus Valerius Laevinus (who has a bias toward finishing jigsaw-puzzles at work) puts the last pieces of a 10.000-pieces-picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm together, when Army Quaestor Spurius Furius Pacilus enters the room.
Sp: "Hail Consul."
S: "Hi, Spurius. Nice day today."
Sp: "Indeed, but we have a situation in Tarraconensis."
S: "How so?"
Sp: "Dux Caelus Fabius arrested a man who tried to start a rebellion."
S: "That`s not nice of him. It`s a pity, when young people go to the bad. Why did he do that?"
Sp: "We had to torture him a little bit, but he finally said, he was working for the Gauls. But that`s not much of a problem, since we have seven Legions stationed along their border. Accidentally." *coughs*
S: "Did he say anything else useful?"
Sp: "Obviously he wasn`t working alone. We draw a mug shot according to his description."
S: "Say...you tortured him for how long exactly?"
Rome - 20th April 697 AUC
Consul Septimus Valerius Laevinus puts the last pieces of a 20.000-pieces-puzzle depicting Rome at night together, when Spurius Furius enters.
Sp: "Hail Consul."
S: "Hi, there. Anything new from the Gaul frontline?"
Sp: "Yep, and it`s working pretty fine. In Iberia we conquered the cities of Cantabri and Pallantia and slau...punished the population."
S: "Punishment is good, Spurius, as long as the principle of proportionality is preserved. I hope, you treated the survivors good?"
Sp: "Sur...?" *turns red* "Of course."
Rome - 25th September 697 AUC
Consul Septimus Valerius Laevinus puts the last pieces of a 30.000-pieces-picture showing a azur-hued vase in front of a blue sky together, when his secretary Drusus enters.
D: "Consul, your mail for today."
S: "Anything important?"
D: "The company `Jigsaw Unlimited` sends you their gold card."
S: "Finally, now I can buy the 50.000-pieces-picture of a yellow chameleon amidst a bunch of lemons. "
D: "And there is a letter from the Gaul chief begging for peace."
S: *walks to the map* "See, Drusus, real life is like a puzzle. You may not start in the center of it. You have to begin with the edging. So I think we`ll take Cantabri and Ambrones. Wait, I`ll write an answer."
Half an hour later.
S: "Drusus!"
D: "Consul?"
S: "The answer to the Gaul chief is finished. It`s over there on the table."
D: *facepalm*
(Will the Gaul chief ever find out about the peace conditions? Will Drusus send his boss to the nuthouse? Find out in the next chapter.)
Consul Septimus Valerius Laevinus (who has a bias toward finishing jigsaw-puzzles at work) puts the last pieces of a 10.000-pieces-picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm together, when Army Quaestor Spurius Furius Pacilus enters the room.
Sp: "Hail Consul."
S: "Hi, Spurius. Nice day today."
Sp: "Indeed, but we have a situation in Tarraconensis."
S: "How so?"
Sp: "Dux Caelus Fabius arrested a man who tried to start a rebellion."
S: "That`s not nice of him. It`s a pity, when young people go to the bad. Why did he do that?"
Sp: "We had to torture him a little bit, but he finally said, he was working for the Gauls. But that`s not much of a problem, since we have seven Legions stationed along their border. Accidentally." *coughs*
S: "Did he say anything else useful?"
Sp: "Obviously he wasn`t working alone. We draw a mug shot according to his description."
S: "Say...you tortured him for how long exactly?"
Rome - 20th April 697 AUC
Consul Septimus Valerius Laevinus puts the last pieces of a 20.000-pieces-puzzle depicting Rome at night together, when Spurius Furius enters.
Sp: "Hail Consul."
S: "Hi, there. Anything new from the Gaul frontline?"
Sp: "Yep, and it`s working pretty fine. In Iberia we conquered the cities of Cantabri and Pallantia and slau...punished the population."
S: "Punishment is good, Spurius, as long as the principle of proportionality is preserved. I hope, you treated the survivors good?"
Sp: "Sur...?" *turns red* "Of course."
Rome - 25th September 697 AUC
Consul Septimus Valerius Laevinus puts the last pieces of a 30.000-pieces-picture showing a azur-hued vase in front of a blue sky together, when his secretary Drusus enters.
D: "Consul, your mail for today."
S: "Anything important?"
D: "The company `Jigsaw Unlimited` sends you their gold card."
S: "Finally, now I can buy the 50.000-pieces-picture of a yellow chameleon amidst a bunch of lemons. "
D: "And there is a letter from the Gaul chief begging for peace."
S: *walks to the map* "See, Drusus, real life is like a puzzle. You may not start in the center of it. You have to begin with the edging. So I think we`ll take Cantabri and Ambrones. Wait, I`ll write an answer."
Half an hour later.
S: "Drusus!"
D: "Consul?"
S: "The answer to the Gaul chief is finished. It`s over there on the table."
D: *facepalm*
(Will the Gaul chief ever find out about the peace conditions? Will Drusus send his boss to the nuthouse? Find out in the next chapter.)
Sending Laevinus to the nuthouse? No, he wouldn't do that, would he? Obviously, solving a 20k-pieces all-blue puzzle is the work of an enlightened mind! :wacko:
sounds reasonable to me ... start by creating the edges and then fill in all the missing bits, its so good these Romans are peaceful stay at home types
It is almost as good as the old "I didn't like those purple bits of map" defence made popular by some enlightened Russian rulers.
Say guys, I`ll finish this probably tomorrow. In other AARs I saw these nice world maps being posted. How can I make these?
I've not done it with Rome, but in other paradox games hit f12, and then edit to size in any graphics package.
you need to shrink it a fair bit or it'll come out far too large
Doesn`t work. I press F12 and there is a "Map saved" message. But it doesn`t seem to "be" somewhere so I can paste or edit it.
just done a test and it works off f12 for me.
do you have vista or w7 ... & did you set up the game in a programme directory. If the answer to both of those is yes, then your screenshot will have been stored somewhere that only makes sense to Microsoft. There's been a few threads on where to find them back in this case (or try a search in for "screenshot*"), but I can't remember. When I shifted recently to W7 I set up all my paradox stuff in its own directory off the desktop & so far its worked fine.
Rome - 31st December 730 AUC
Consul Titus Valerius is sitting in his office over a bunch of papers, when Army Praetor Publius Fabricius enters the room.
P: "Hail Consul."
T: "Hello Publius. Take a look at this."
P: "What is this?"
T: "Just a few statistics about the state of the Republic. Look, here. We now rule 45 provinces. Pretty neat, huh?"
P: "Some people say, the Republic is too large now to be administrated as we did it in the past. Some people say, we need a strong leader to take charge."
T: "Like whom?"
P: "There is this young guy in the Senate..."
T: "Gaius Octavius?"
P: "Correct."
T: "I don`t worry about that. If we are good at something, then it is peaceful administration. In the last 250 years we expanded our territory by 36 provinces, and only 7 of them by conquest. The rest via colonization."
P: "Some people say, we have been too self-restraint and should be more aggressive in the future."
T: "Who?"
P: "You know..."
T: "Gaius?"
P: "Yep."
T: "He is wrong. Our policy has always been the result of negotiations between the different factions. Just as the election of the different Consuls. Before my term, there were 138 Consuls. The majority of 64 came from the religious faction, followed by 24 mercantilists, 23 civics, 20 militarists and only 7 populists."
P: "Some people say, there shouldn`t be any factions anymore except one."
T: "Gaius?"
P: "Yes."
T: "Well, if he wants a monarchy, it will only happen over my dead body."
P: "That`s why Gaius sends you this present."
T: "Ouch! Hey, that hurts!" *dies*
Consul Titus Valerius is sitting in his office over a bunch of papers, when Army Praetor Publius Fabricius enters the room.
P: "Hail Consul."
T: "Hello Publius. Take a look at this."
P: "What is this?"
T: "Just a few statistics about the state of the Republic. Look, here. We now rule 45 provinces. Pretty neat, huh?"
P: "Some people say, the Republic is too large now to be administrated as we did it in the past. Some people say, we need a strong leader to take charge."
T: "Like whom?"
P: "There is this young guy in the Senate..."
T: "Gaius Octavius?"
P: "Correct."
T: "I don`t worry about that. If we are good at something, then it is peaceful administration. In the last 250 years we expanded our territory by 36 provinces, and only 7 of them by conquest. The rest via colonization."
P: "Some people say, we have been too self-restraint and should be more aggressive in the future."
T: "Who?"
P: "You know..."
T: "Gaius?"
P: "Yep."
T: "He is wrong. Our policy has always been the result of negotiations between the different factions. Just as the election of the different Consuls. Before my term, there were 138 Consuls. The majority of 64 came from the religious faction, followed by 24 mercantilists, 23 civics, 20 militarists and only 7 populists."
P: "Some people say, there shouldn`t be any factions anymore except one."
T: "Gaius?"
P: "Yes."
T: "Well, if he wants a monarchy, it will only happen over my dead body."
P: "That`s why Gaius sends you this present."
T: "Ouch! Hey, that hurts!" *dies*
The End.
So, this is it. As you can see, Rome hasn`t been too agressive and even let Massilia and the Suebi alive. In the west, the Gauls build an empire, while the big yellow blob conquered a real empire including a lot of Egyptian territory (although these two were allied most of the game). I was quite happy to have good relations with both of them. Still I seeked to keep Macedonia as buffer state between me and the Seleucids.
After all, nice game. But the next one will be less peaceful.
as with your other AAR, utterly delightful to read and follow. Really enjoyed it. Also when I run out of reasons for war based on the colour of a province on the map, I'll now be able to make use of some of your more creative ones.
ummh, saying 'over my dead body' to some one aiming at Empire is perhaps not the best choice of phrase.
ummh, saying 'over my dead body' to some one aiming at Empire is perhaps not the best choice of phrase.