A Lusitan path to glory

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Settings: 1066 on Normal/Normal
Version: 1.04 3rd june patch
Objectives: Make a fun to write and to read AAR, Game might depend on AAR a couple times

About me: It's my first AAR though i've read many actually. i hope you like it and more important, i hope i like it, and if its not asking much, i hope my dinasty survives it

Updates will be made very irregular, but i'll try to post at least a little update every 2/3 days.

1st Chapter in 5 mins

 

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Chapter 1 - The Council​

Our Story begins on Porto, the capitol of Duchy of Braganza, ruled by Nuno of Portugal, a 42 year old misguided warrior with no heirs whatsoever. The day we are at, 27 December 1066, was the day story started to be written, the day Nuno came back after his father death from the 8 year voyage he made to Kingdom of Castille's court, where he learned how a Kingdom is ruled, the first thing he did was to choose some of the best nobles on the Duchy and make them courtiers, then he made the first Court Council in Duchy of Braganza.

Presences at the council: Duke Nuno, Vasco, Gonçinha, Ines, Pero and Francisco.

Nuno arrives a bit late at the council room...

Nuno: You can seat... (after a little pause) We're here together to discuss the appointment of offices on this court, first I'd like to warn you I won't tolerate failure, Duchy of Braganza for a long time has been living under the protection of Kingdom of Leon, today that will end. We won't pay them anymore for protection. Leon will be crushed in time, whether by muslims or Castille... (some whispering and panic looks were shared in the room).

Gonçinha, wife of Nuno: You're nuts! We don't stand a chance against a muslim nation without the backup of Leon! And as soon as they know this, they'll attack us like bees after a honeybear! Even those on the other side of the Mediterranean will cross it to take a slice on Iber..

Nuno (evidently irritated, hits the table with is fist): SHUT UP! It's because of that mentality we are a weak and lone duchy, my father was a good man, but he lacked the spirit of a ruler, a conqueror. I will create a Kingdom where we won't need to pay a kingdom to fight for us. We, the brave descendents of Viriato, the chief of the Lusitans who have heavily resisted the Roman Empire on Iberia when they ruled Europe, we have warrior blood on our veins, we have an enlighted path, just need to let go the ropes that hold us back and...

Gonçinha (interrupting Nuno): WE ARE WEAK AND DISORGANISED!

Nuno (even more irritated): WE ARE LIKE THAT BECAUSE OF THE POLICIES MY FATHER HAD! LIVING IN THE SHADOW OF A KINGDOM... A SECRET VASSAL OF A WEAK KING... THAT IS OVER! GOT IT?! I WON'T RULE LIKE THAT!

Gonçinha: YOUR FATHER WAS A BETTER RULER THAT YOU'LL EVER BE! DON'T DARE TO COMMENT HIS ACTIONS! HE DID A LOT OF BAD THINGS, BUT THEY WERE NECESSARY TO KEEP THE DUCHY INDEPENDENT!

Nuno: HE NEVER TRIED ANOTHER WAY! HE WAS A POOR RULER AND HE KNEW IT! THAT IS WHY HE SENT ME TO THE COURT OF CASTILLE SO THAT I COULD LEARN FROM A REAL RULER!

Gonçinha: And what the hell have they done to you there?! You're not the man i married with!

Nuno: YOU WERE NOT THE FERTILE WOMAN I THOUGHT I MARRIED ALSO, AND WHO THE HELL GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TALK ANYWAY?!

Gonçinha (almost bursting with tears): YOU'RE A MONSTER! I HATE YOU!

Gonçinha left the room crying.

Nuno (after taking a long breath): Like i was saying, we have the seed to grow, but no mistakes can be tolerated, no hesitation can be there, we must all believe in this even if we have to do some things we don't want to...

Vasco of Portugal, Nuno's brother-in-law: Count me in, all my wisdom will be used in your favor, just like I did for your father.

Nuno: And great that wisdom is, and that is one of the 2 reasons i need you to be my Marshal, the commander of the Portuguese Army, the other reason is of course, the fact you are a very though warrior. Unfortunately you are not getting any younger, and i want you to pass your knowledge to Francisco de Távora, he's mature enough to learn something from you, as your assistant.

Vasco: As you wish.

Francisco de Távora: Will be an honor to learn from such a prestigious man.

Nuno: About our dying finances... We will raise every tax and reduce the donations to the church. The person I chose to evaluate the damage and control the finances is Pero Pires, Pero you'll be my steward.

Pero Pires (a bit nervous): It's a great responsibility you know... I mean... Raising taxes... Reducing the donations... I don't see anyone happy with that... (after a little pause, a little less nervous and more convicted, he continued) And the counts, they have you as liege for a couple days, and raising money from them right now is not the best first impression you can make.

Nuno (after thinking a bit): You're right, but that's not really a problem... I won't take any scutage from them then. If they used to pay any scutage tell them now they are taxless and I want a meeting with them 30th January to present myself and explain the new rules. And I want you to personally go there and invite them to the meeting.

Pero: Sir, won't there be a chancellor? Your father had one... He was the one responsible for those things... And I know every other kingdom has chancellors... They even make those Drunk Party's in Venice every year...

Nuno: Yes there'll be a chancellor, but I want you to do it, as soon as you can.

Pero: But, but... (he then saw a "shut-up" eyelook from Nuno) Ok, ok Sir, as you wish, I'll depart even today to Braganza.

Nuno: Good. Next, we have something new, a Spy Master, I know my father didn't care about the world outside his borders but I do, and I want to know everything in first hand. Ines Pais will occupy that place. More information on your position will be transmitted later, after this meeting is over.

Ines Pais: Yes milord.

Nuno: About the chancellor position, it will be occupied by Gonçinha, for now at least. He'll discuss that in a later meeting.

Vasco: She's a charismatic negotiator, even if she's a bit lazy and a bit down with your father's death, she's undoubtfully the best chancellor you can find in our realm...

Nuno: I won't discuss that with you. If to get quality diplomacy I have to listen to her every Council, I think I'll go crazy!

Vasco: We'll all have to make sacrifices in order to the Duchy to prosper, remember?

Nuno (feeling a bit challenged): That's why I haven't decided yet, thanks for your opinion. Lads, I give...

Vasco (interrupting Nuno): That's not what it seems...

Nuno (after a brief pause, controlling himself to look and talk calmly): Vasco, in time you'll learn not only to follow my orders, but to respect and trust my judgement. I know you have the idea I'm still that reckless young man, and you don't believe I will get Duchy of Braganza anywhere, but in time I'll prove you with actions and results that I'm a good ruler. Give me some credit, would you?

Vasco: Will see...

Nuno: Ok, this meeting is over. See you next 30th January if I don't call for a emergency council. Ines, you stay a little bit more.

Everyone except Nuno and Ines leave the room.

Nuno: So, basically, your job will be to inform me of the stuff that happen outside and more important, you'll inform me of the "talking on my backs", whatever the people on the court say about me will be registered and communicated to me only and exclusively, and when i say so. Any doubts?

Ines: So my job will be to know what the people say about you...

Nuno: Basically...

Ines: No killings?

Nuno (with a devilish smile): For now...

Ines: I dont think I'm prepared...

Nuno: When you're needed you'll correspond, trust me. You can leave now.

Ines: Yes sir. (bows)

Nuno: Oh! One more thing...(approaches and touches her arm gently) What is your opinion of my wife?

Ines: She's like a mother to me, she raised when my parents were killed, i could die for her... (short break, Nuno slowly walks away) But why do you ask milord?

Nuno: Oh! Nothing, really... Nothing... Bye!

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Oh and sorry's for the 5 mins that turned out to be 3 hours... :s

Edited: English language errors and text colour

 

[unmerged(9046)]

Nice start. A request -- some of the colors you used were very hard to read (the purple and the red). My old eyes would be happier with a different color!

 

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thanks for the first reply Stroph1 it's my first aar, my first 3/4 posts will have some basic things to correct, and i still don't have my style well defined, but i hope you help me with that

i also hope the colours are better, if not, say so please

Chapter 2 later tonight

 

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Keep 'em flying!

 

[billy bob]

Keep 'em flying!

what he said.

 

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Chapter 2 – Operation Endangered Dynasty​

13th January, 1067, it was cold; a typical Northern Iberia winter day, Nuno had been all day alone inside his throne room, watching and scratching a Map of Europe, making plans for strategic alliances and conquests, Iberia seemed to be his primary objective, then moving south and control North of Africa, Italy, get some slices of France and Germany, he started scratching the Baltic tribes, when a servant entered the room.

Servant: Milord, a messenger from Garcia Jimenez, Duke of Galicia wishes to see you.

Duke Nuno: That name makes me remember something… Anyway, send him in.

A well dressed messenger enters the room.

Messenger from Duchy of Galicia: I bring a message from his majesty Garcia Jimenez, The Chaste, Duke of Galicia, count of Compostela and Santiago. Second in line to inherit the Leonese and Castillan crown, 10th in line of succession to the Navarran crown, 2578 the in the line…

Nuno (interrupting the messenger): Wait a second, roll back, what did you just say?!

Messenger: Second in line to…

Nuno (interrupting again): No, before that.

Messenger: Duke of Gali….

Nuno (somewhat annoyed): What’s his cognomen…?

Messenger: Duke Garcia Jimenez, The Chaste (making every effort to mantain a serious face)

Nuno (making fun): I knew I remember that name! Did he ever got the chance to NOT being chaste? You know, taste the honey from the bee, drawn the goose, paint a picture with his pencil, score some points in the sacred…

Messenger (almost crying with the effort to maintain serious): He had a very strict education but he doesn’t have a wife because he wishes that way, he even…

Nuno (laughing): He’s a ugly-ass, 25 year old virgin git, I know all his story, we made a lot of jokes about him on Castillan court, and son, you can laugh all you want, you won’t get any problems from me.

Messenger (bursting with laughs and relieved): Oh, god I thought it was this time I was going to lose my job…

Nuno: He he, I bet it’s not easy to work for such a demented man.

Messenger: This thing of getting his own cognomen just as an excuse to his virginity is killing me, every time I have to mention it I think I’m going to explode with laughs… By accident you don’t have a little job in your court I could occupy, no?

Nuno: Sorry, no vacancies. Anyway, seat down, make yourself comfortable, what brings you here.

Messenger: Duke Garcia Jimenez, The Chaste, (both started laughing), wishes to marry one of your courtiers.

Nuno: I need them all, tiny court you know…

Messenger: Who would ever want to give one of his courtiers to that maniac anyway? He will only get a wife when someone wants to get rid of a female on his court, but it will have to be a great will to get rid of someone. Well, I have to go, more courts in Europe need to listen to The Chaste request for a wife (messenger laughs again, Nuno is serious).

Nuno: Wait, who did he want to marry?

Messenger: I don’t remember, let me check (he checks his parchment)… It’s a 17 year old… Ines Pais.

Nuno: Oh, I just got this crazy idea…

The next day Ines Pais and Duke Garcia Jimenez, The Chaste united their lifes, but the word is, in the wedding night, Ines Pais ran from the bedroom and Garcia had to chase her through his entire castle, some even say he never really lost his virginity.

Duke Garcia, The Chaste​

His wife​

Nuno now needed a new spy master, a handpicked spymaster. Posters written “I want you; as my spy master” were placed in his entire realm. This is how the interviews went:

Duke Nuno (seating in a chair at the court council room, eating grapes and drinking wine): So what you think this job will be about?

Candidate #1(female): Well… The usual… Be a nice mistress…

Nuno: You surely have nice legs. But you’re not what I had in mind, sorry. NEXT!

A heavy man with a metal piece somewhat closing his head, entered the room.

Nuno: Let’s start with a easy one: What have you done during your life?

Candidate #2(male): I’ve been a street wrestler all my life, and proud of hit (spits to his hand and passes with hit on his metal piece).

Nuno (almost sure he could see parts of the guy’s brain trying to get out of that metal thing): And… Erm… What do you think this job will be about?

Candidate #2: BONK SOME HEADS, YEAH BABY! (with the effort of shouting a part of his brain is spitted to the floor through the metal stuff)

Nuno: NEXT!

Candidate #3(female): Believe it or not, I’m the best pie-master of all Porto!

Nuno: NEXT!

Candidate #4(male): My mom says I should work for the duke, she says that my friends will all rot in the streets…

Nuno: NEXT PLEASE!

Candidate #5(female): Is it true the Duchess bedroom has its walls painted with olive green colour?

Nuno: …next…!

Candidate #38(male): How’s that again?

Nuno: It’s an easy one, I have 1 title of duke and 2 titles of count, how many titles I possess?

Candidate #38 (after a couple minutes, counting with his fingers): Is that a tricky question?

Nuno (desperately throwing grapes and his cup of wine at the candidate): GOD! WHY DO YOU HATE ME!!!!?!

Candidate #99 (male): I think our duchy should import Zebra’s from North Africa. Most of our problems would go away…

Nuno: I know I’ll regret this… But why do you think that?

Candidate #99: Well… They eat grass right?

Nuno (hitting the table with his head): N, *BonK* E, *BonK* X, *BonK* T, *BonK*

Candidate #167 (female): Banana’s price is too high, if we make a stock exchange, and try evading taxes, and we manage some way the Russians don’t check us out…

Nuno (pissed): GET THE HELL OUT!

Candidate #300 (male): I’ve been humbly considering…

Nuno (trying to balance a grape with the tip of his nose): OUT!

Candidate #457 (female): I think…

Nuno: Nice joke, OUT!

Candidate #999 (male): Let me present myself…

Nuno (crying in rage): OUT! OUT! OUT! EVERYONE OUT!

Vasco enters the room.

Vasco of Portugal: How’s it going?

Nuno: My duchy is inhabited by donkeys.

Vasco: He he he, don’t be so pessimist.

Nuno: How the hell I’m going to get a new spy master?

Vasco: You can’t just place posters in rural areas and expect the farmers know anything about spying. I’ll get you a couple of real candidates.

Nuno: I’d pay you for that.

Next day Nuno was presented with Leonor de Melo.

Nuno: So, Vasco is your uncle, hu?

Leonor de Melo: Yes, but not close family.

Nuno (with a satisfaction smile): Good. What you think a spy master will do?

Leonor: Cheat, deceive, lie, kill, torture…

Nuno (with a shining eye): You’re hired! Here are the rules: you don’t talk without my permission, you don’t touch anyone unless I tell you to, you don’t breathe without my knowledge, got it? Not even your uncle will know what you do.

Leonor: As you wish, milord.

Nuno: Nice now lets talk about Operation Endangered Dynasty. The first thing you’ll do is to discover how much it will take to kill a court member…

Leonor: Anyone specifically?

Nuno: Not for now, just find it out…

Leonor: I’m no genius at this, but to kill a marshal and a marshal assistant should be there a difference in the money spent…

Nuno: Make a table for everyone then. With and without court positions.

Leonor: When will you want a report?

Nuno: As fast as possible… And Leonor, I don’t tolerate failure.

Leonor: Yes, milord.

Duke Nuno of Portugal​

The new spy master​

 

[Jestor]

Hahahaha! Hilarious interviews for the Spy Master position! I could picture that in my head too. Nice job!

 

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@billy bob and Vincent Julien: Thanks for the support stay around

@Jestor: I'm glad you liked it, atm i'm trying to make a serious and still humorous AAR

Chapter 3 tomorrow night, "What is Endangered Dinasty afterall? What are the Duke's plans? What morbid sudden interest has Nuno on his new Spy Master?"

 

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Chapter 3 – The ancient Egypt tales and a very rude husband​

30th January 1067, a beautiful winter day, the sunlight invading every house with a window that allowed it to invade. However, the main Porto’s castle, Castle of Lusitania, where Duke Nuno of Portugal lived, was like a dark prison, where sunlight does not dare to enter.

The place was always too dark, some say (mostly clergy and peasant) Duke Nuno was the responsible for such dark and dread place, that God hated him so much, so much, that cursed him, and such a bad curse it was, Nuno could never yield an heir, and would die as soon as “the beast” stop protecting him. That somehow explained why he needed to stop donating the clergy and he raised the taxes, to pay for protection from his maker.

Others, the older ones, say the Castle had always been like that, and some of those even remember a legend where it says the castle was built in the place where the leader of the Lusitan tribes, Viriato was betrayed and assassinated by his own men during his sleep. The legend also claimed that the castle was made from the sand that was spoiled with Viriato’s blood, and his spirit and the castle were only one now, and they were waiting for the true King, which would unite Iberia under Lusitan blood…*


Presences at the council: Duke Nuno, Marshal Vasco, Spy Master Leonor, Steward Pero

Everyone is sitting waiting for the arrival of the Counts.

Duke Nuno (bored): Where the hell are they?? Pero, they said they’d come right?

Steward Pero Pires (a bit nervous): Yes sir, they did.

Nuno: Oh, bullocks! Let’s start this… First, let’s talk about the army, Vasco, report.

Marshal Vasco of Portugal: Well, at the moment we have about 800 men, half of them are light infantry, 300 cavalry and the other 100 are archers/ heavy infantry/ pikemen…

Nuno: Damn! How about my vassals? You know anything about them?

Vasco: When your father Duke Mendo ruled they had almost an equal army together compared to ours. Count of Braganza is stronger though, might have perhaps 500 men and Count of Coimbra should have half of that.

Nuno: This isn’t any good… How are our finances Pero?

Pero: Not good at all. We have 50 gold in our treasury.

Nuno: With my “investments” on taxes how much will we gain?

Pero (slightly nervous): 2 gold coins.

Nuno: I meant per month…

Pero (not very confortable): That’s it…

Nuno: NO WAY! You raised every tax?

Pero (very nervous): Yes, sir, excluding the counts, as you ordered…

Nuno: On the nobles, burghers, peasants, clergyman, undefined, pets, evil omens…

Pero: Every one of them pays you the max our law allows…

Nuno: My entire duchy hates me, for 2 gold coins per month?! How much we received before?

Pero: When I first checked our finances, we were losing money…

Nuno: Oh… Keep it that way then… Spy Master?


Leonor Melo: The table you wanted (hands over a piece of paper)

Nuno: I haven’t asked only one! I…

A servant enters the room

Servant: Milord, Count Ordonho de Braganza and Count…

Nuno: Send them in, they’re late. Leonor, we'll talk later

Leonor: Yes, milord.

Count Ordonho de Braganza and Count Sisnando de Coimbra enter the room, bow to Duke Nuno and sit.

Nuno: A bit late, no?

Sisnando: Some things had to be taken care of. I apologize for our delay.

Nuno (suspicious): Hmm… Ok, now about our business, I suppose you already know my decision of not collecting any scutage from both of you?

Ordonho: Y…

Sisnando (interrupting abruptly): Yes, we know, and we’ve asked each other, what reason made you take that decision…

Nuno: That’s why I invoked you two to this meeting. I need you to put more efforts on building your army, because it might be needed soon, sooner than you might think…

Sisnando: That makes no sense… You clearly need money, because you raised every tax on your realm, and to us, you don’t raise? Actually, you set us free of taxes?!

Nuno: I don’t need to explain anything to you... Maybe you don’t understand the liege / vassal thing… You see, imagine the ancient Egypt, there’s the Pharaoh, the slave-masters and the slaves, I’m the Pharaoh, and you are the tiny bit of sand the slaves step on everyday…

Sisnando (surprised): How’s that?

Nuno: You are my son-in-law, but you don’t receive any special status regarding Duchy matters… You do what I tell you to, when I tell you to. (Here Nuno could see a smile on Ordonho's face)

Sisnando (shocked): I… I don’t…

Nuno: Here’s what I want from you: build an army, when me or my current marshal go there and tell you to summon it, you summon it, and go to where you are ordered to go. For now, the rules are like that, when we have more lands, I will give you your rightful share, that’s a promise.

Sisnando: As you wish, milord.

Ordonho (with a big smile on his face): Do I smell some “goat” slaughtering?

Nuno (with a corresponding smile): Who knows? Maybe Iberia should be ruled by Lusitans afterall…

After the council, Duke Nuno goes to his bedroom to find his wife sitting on his bed…

Nuno (undressing, uninterested with her presence): Where have you been? I’ve been worried with you… I didn’t see you for what? One month?

Gonçinha (moves her lips, but doesn’t come any sound): …

Nuno (sits on the bed): So..?

Gonçinha: I’m the new chancellor?

Nuno: If you go to the council once in a while…

Gonçinha: I didn't knew, I was informed by Ines Pais, 3 days ago… I visited her… She’s very happy now, you know?

Nuno: I bet she is, he he…

Gonçinha (after a brief pause): Do you ever miss those times where you didn’t care about the duchy or politics? When we just date… When we…

Nuno (gets under the sheets): Look, I really need to sleep, tomorrow we’ll talk.

Gonçinha (pissed): You damn BAS….

Nuno (almost sleeping, talking with his eyes already closed): Watch your mouth… You can still lose your position on the court.

Gonçinha (furious, walking towards the door): I DON’T WANT IT! KEEP IT!

Nuno: Oh, and, honey, call the servant, I need a hot towel… (Opens his eyes, looks around) Err, honey? Honey? Oh, well… (Closes his eyes and falls asleep profoundly)
**


* Just a comment, for those who don’t know it, Viriato and the Lusitans actually existed… To know more about his story: http://viriato.netfirms.com/

** oh and sorry for the delay and the astonishingly tiny chapter... busy life...

 

[Luis de Aveiro]

Congrats for the AAR. It is really amusing.

Can you show some map pics?

By the way, the correct name is Lusitanians, not Lusitans

Just in case you want to post a portuguese version, go to the link in signature...

 

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@ Luis de Aveiro: I guess you're right, however I remember when I made some searching about translation from portuguese to english, i found some information on "Lusitan" and it seemed to be correct, my flaw, i apologize it will be corrected in the next update. And i'll be pleased to pass by the forum