A pleasant journey through time. AAR Thread

[unmerged(19666)]

Thread for RP Diplomacy and AAR

Main thread: http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?t=187688

Please don't post anything here, except for RP diplomacy and AAR.

 

[unmerged(19666)]

Behold! I am SirJakop, or at the moment known as King Henry the Fifth!
King of England, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Aquitaine, Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports and rightful heir to the throne of France!

My name is often heard in sentences containing phrases like:
Strategic genious in the battlefield, a wise ruler of his kingdom and a hot stud in bed.

Our armies are numerous and eager to taste the blood of our enemies!

Our navies roam the high seas, projecting our power to every coast.

Rule Britannia! Brittania rule the WORLD!

Ps. My painters got inspired by my megalomanical manners, and made my portrait a bit large. What the hell, I like it . Ta. Ds

 

[unmerged(40049)]

Wladislaus II Jagiello of Poland

Wladislaus Dei gracia rex Polonie necnon terrarum​

The moral decline of the world is reaching its final hour, and it is my duty as king of the finest people of Europe,
to save the world from the doom that is approaching.
This goal can only be reached by a will of steel, a fist of iron, and an army of strong polish men.

I will not hide my intentions, which will be to completely assimilate the known world.
However, in my royal splendor, i will give each kingdom the opportunity to surrender without the need of violence.

I know that God is on my side, and by his grace, i will be victorious.

 

[The_Pope]

Thy Royal Reply.

In Previous Chapter:

I am The_Pope, also known as Miguel Angel La Furia de Castilla, Aragón y Todos Los Reinos Cristianos de Iberia! My armies will smash anyone who dare to enter my empire: The Iberian Peninsula!

My holy priests will travel with my armies in a Crusade against the traitors of Protestants and any other schism of the truth Faith! We will show the Known World that they must put their lifes apart and dedicate it to praise the Lord in the Christian way!: Lay in the streets covered with holy filth, beg for money and dedicate the rest of the day to pay taxes to the church (10%) and pay for scribes to read them the bible! The Church must be the only organization besides the Imperial State to hold any wealth because we are educated and designed by God to be so!

Beware filthy traitors! The Holy (going to me) Empire Of Iberia and me, his (for now) Royal Highness Miguel Angel La Furia de Castilla, Aragón y Todos Los Reinos Cristianos de Iberia will not see with good eyes any attempt of bringing pagan religions into Europe!

And now the second part:

Filthy Miguel:

I instruct you in behalf of myself, Thy King and Supreme Protector Of The Truth Faith, Carrier of the Holy Grail and so on, to reply with urgency the megalomaniac portrait of Thy Unholy, Treacherous, Snake Tonge, Englishman called Henry V, the Puny. Send him my personal portrait, yours in that fine picture you have made about one of those 'Infidels Smacking (tm)' campaigns you find such enjoyable. Dont forguet to send a couple of propanganda pictures and things like that.

¡Iberia Sobre Todos!

Your Lord.

Your Mighty Highness:

Let me inform you that the campaign against the infidels is evolving fine. We've been even sneaking into Barcelona itself for chasing down those unholy muslims, protestants and jewish. Due your holy letter, i have dispached the painters and messengers to send to the Unholy some pictures like these:

 

[The_Pope]

To Thy Polish Sovereign.

Mighty King Wladislaus II Jagiello of Poland:

I deliver this royal messenger with these words of friendship from a King who shares your truth believes. However, The Grace of God is upon me, Miguel Angel La Furia de Castilla, Aragón & Todos Los Reinos Cristianos De Iberia. We see with good eyes your attept to bring the Word in its true form to the infidels and pagans and moralize them. However, I want to say that Iberia is in good shape. Almost all its regions are chatolics in its true extension and there is no need to teach maners to us or to teach us how to Pray Thy Lord.

Said so, i also what to appoint that Europe is being lead to decadency because that cheap copies of The Holy Bible being sold at Mainz and its surroundings, which words are not made by our official Scribes, which are without exceptions, priests blessed by Thy Lord, or any catholic priest of other Holy lands. This is a true Work Of The Devil in his evil prosuit of malforming the Word through the ages.

Those Evil People at Mainz deserves punishment!

I hope your Highness have this same point of view about this important subject in our quest of freeing Thy Europe of untruth faith and Devil's propaganda.

MALDCAYTLRCDI.

 

[unmerged(40050)]

The Great Danish, Norwegian (and Swedish) King

Eric XIII​

Behold the true glory and splendor of a born King. We are the Great King of the most Glorious of all countries Denmark! We are also the caretaker of the imbecill nations of Sweden and Norway. We are also the son of Vratislav of Pomerania and Maria of Mecklenburg, (grand daughter of Waldemar Atterdag of Denmark) and a descendant of Magnus I of Sweden. We are also married to Philippa, daughter of Henry IV of England and a most worthy bride.

By banishing all the scum of our land we the Glorious Danes hava made an almost perfect land, a garden in the roughness and coldness of this modern age.

We love the beauty of Denmark and will not leave it even though the petty peasants die of hunger and cry out for just rule. Justice is not for the common man only for the ones apointed by god!

A more lowly man would surely be content as a mere king of Sweden or Norway but we say nay! Only as a favor and as a token of our royal greatness do we save the lands of Sweden and Norway from themselves.

Especially the Norwegians are unsiuted for independent rule. They are by nature lower than scum and deserv not even our contempt.

Glory to Denmark
Glory to us

Fear god Love Denmark

So does your lord Eric XIII speak!

 

[unmerged(40058)]

Charles VII, rightful heir to the french throne!

​

Charles VII le Bien-Servi, Dauphin to King Charles VI, le Fol​

Recognize us! We are Charles VII, Dauphine, and rightful heir to the french throne!

Our fathers cousin, the jealous and twisted John, 'duke' of burgundy sent his troops to invade France and conquer Paris, clearly with intention to capture and kill us. He failed. His forces now occupies our beloved homecity, but we got away. He then dared to install himself in Paris and make himself protector of our beloved but sadenly, missunderstood father, King Charles VI. As if he had not betrayed France enough, he is now in league with our hated enemies, the english and did do nothing to prevent the surrender of Rouen to them. He allso forced our mother to reject us and declare us a bastard and our father to sign a treaty with the content that the crown of France shold not pass to us as is our birthight given us by God, but to Henry V 'of england'! Our cause is in no way lost, but if Rouen had been saved, victory would have been achived much swifter. Now, with the whole of Northern France in english hands and Paris occupied by burgundy, The english so called 'king' arrives with his filthy hordes to claim what is rightfully ours.

We say to thee: As long as we are alive, no pompostrus english so called 'king' shall ever wear the crown of France! We shall drive you to the sea and back to the barbaric northern realm that spawned you! And to the foul John 'duke' of burgundy, you have no place in this world anymore, you are atempting to take away what was given to us us by God. We will send you to be judged by him and you will burn in hell for eternity!


We have spoken! Come to me my loyal brethren, Viva la France!

Charles VII, Dauphine, and rightful heir to the french throne.

 

[unmerged(40058)]

To His most Catholic Emperor of Iberia

Great Miguel Angel La Furia de Castilla, Aragón y Todos Los Reinos Cristianos de Iberia.

We send message to you to point ot the unjust actions of the english 'king' and the 'duke' of burgundy. They are trying to deny God the right to choose whom of his loyal servants to lead his lost children in France. The english 'king' who is known to worship pagan tree-gods and stones is bringing his filthy hordes of heretics from the realms of chaos in the dark islands of anglia. And the 'duke' of burgundy who have lately held rituals to worship satan where children and virgins have been sacrificed and even eaten are massing near Paris! We allso have indications that schamans from Mainz have taken control of the church in theese two countries. Now this evil is gathering forces to wreck havoc in the Most Catholic realm of France, all this while pretending to be Catholics. But do not be fooled! Soon they might march towards the Most Catholic realm of Iberia. We can not allow this! They must be punished for this infidelity and their lands clensed. We call for a crusade against the pretenders and heretics in burgundy and england.



Join us in this holy quest and salvation vill be ours.



With hopes your Most Catholic Exelency will do the right thing.
Charles VII, Dauphine, and rightful heir to the french throne.

For God!

 

[The_Pope]

Representant Charles VII:

Your letter shows the grade of decadency Europe is being exposed by the evil forces of Satan. Those french of the north, if your affirmations are true, are the minions of Satan and must be stopped for the good of Europe and all the true catholics! Inquisidores will be dispached at once! We have french Inquisidores that would be glad to help in the gathering of information about how do they communicate with the Inferno. Iberia cannot deny help to one troubled true christian like your eminence and the people you represent. However, we first must confirmate your allegations.

We both know that the religion in the island of the Englishman King Herny 'Filth' is in crisis. Not for the believing of God, but the aknowledment of Thy Pope, the representation of God's will on the known world! Sooner or later will be a schism with Thy Pope and thus, they will became part of the Infidels! Followers of the unholy way to praise God and thus, they are not catholics in its purest essence! But until then, they are catholics and will be treated like a catholic nation: respect its independency and laws. But i can tell you that we do not recognise its possesions in continental Europe, actual or future.

Said this, Ill tell Darío to dispatch some Inquisidores to serve as spies. Ill know by first hand all the religious issues that might emerge in these times in London and Canterbury.

¡Iberia Sobre Todos!

MALFDCAYTLRCDI

 

[unmerged(24194)]

Friederich Von Zollern, Heiliger Römischer Stimmberechtigter, Brandenburg Schnurkönig

Winter in Brandenburg are tough. So are the Brandenburgers. Black and cold are our forests, so are our soldiers. Faithfull are our peoples, so I am, me, king of Brandenburg.
I hear from here and there claims and wishes, glorious intentions and desires of conquest.
Let them know that nobody will obstruct our holy path, only the iron and fire language will be spoken. Heads will be choped, bodies cut and blood will flow for the greatest glory of god and the Germanic peoples.

You shall accept our rule.Or you shall fight, and die.

 

[unmerged(19666)]

To that puny french bastard

Dear Charles, are you mad because your father would rather see me on the throne of France ?
Too bad for you, hahahaha.

Surely you understand that France cannot be ruled by a bastard ?
Your mother has officialy stated that Charles VI is not your father.

France need a ruler, and as I will show you, since you seem to have forgotten, that I have legitamate claims on both french land and throne.

Look here at these scrolls that I have sent for you.

If you look at the first scroll, you will see that the marriage of Eleanor of Aquitaine (heiress of the Duchy of Gascony and Aquitaine and located at point nr 2) to Henry II of England (point nr 1) led to substantial English claims in mainland France.

Then follow the red line through the kings of England (recognize-able by their red crowns) down to Edward III of England, my father Henry IV of England's grandfather.

There at point nr 3 you will clearly see that the marriage of Philip IV the Fair, King of France's daughter Isabelle to Edward II, King of England prompted Edward II's son Edward III to claim the French throne, which I have inherited through my father, Henry IV of England, who you will find if you follow the red line further down.

Then look at the second scroll. There at point nr 5 you will again find the same great Henry IV of England.
There you will find that by The Treaty of Troyes, my heritage to the french throne is re-assured.

Resistance is futile. I am the righteous ruler of France.
See you on the battlefield, if you dare.

 

[unmerged(16535)]

Mehmed I Çelebi

Greetings from His Exaltedness Sultan Mehmed I Çelebi, Ruler of the Ottoman Empire and humble servant of God.

It is with great concern that I see that Europe has not yet thrown of the yoke of polytheism and the worship of three gods instead of One God. Of course, it is God's teaching to show clemency to those who are erroneous, but for those who in their infidelity make war against others of pure piety no absolution will be given.

If God wills it the heretics in Castille and Constantinopel will not be allowed to continue in their impious ways.

 

[The_Pope]

Dear King Henry the 'Filth':

My diplomatics brought some documents that seem to support your claim to the French Throne. BUT There is a French story: One day there was God giving away territories. Germans got the cold east, Normans the islands, Rome the peninsula and so on. But there was a nation that did not get anything: the French. The Frech cried like a little baby, and God said "Oh, I forgot you, noble Frenchmen. Unfortunatly I dont have more land to spare. But there is something I can do for thou" And gave them a piece of it's personal land, the Paradise.

That story supports the theory that France must be ruled by French people, because God ruled it!

Catholic France will be ruled by Frenchmen. Either as a single state or multiple like its now in the German nation. Your belligerence just will bring another era of darkness over Europe. I suggest to review your policy towards France.

MALFDCAYTLRCDI

 

[unmerged(40199)]

Tommaso Mocenigo, the doge (duke) of The Republic of Venice

My name is Tommaso Mocenigo, the doge (duke) of The Republic of Venice known as the Most Serene Republic and has been so since the 9th centuary I was elceted in the lords year of 1413

Thirty members of the Great Council, chosen by lot, who then were reduced by lot to nine; then the nine chose forty and the forty were reduced by lot to twelve, who then chose twenty-five. The twenty-five were reduced by lot to nine and the nine elected forty-five. Then the forty-five were once more reduced by lot to eleven, and the eleven finally chose the forty-one who actually elected me, the doge of the Most Serene Republic of Venice​

 

[unmerged(24194)]

A Message to My Dear Neighbour Wladislaus II Jagiello of Poland

Friend of mine, Christian and decendant of the pagan killers, my honourable neighbour.
In this respectfull terms, us, king of Brandenburg I adress you the following message: as a true faithfull man, humble in front of God our father I will leave my kingdom during the time of my trip to Iberia in a Pilgrimage.
My ministers will administrate my kingdom while I'll be missing. They are quite unexperimented without their kind ruler so I hope you will be a good christian and a good neighbour, paying attention to not crossing the boundaries between our great realms without adivising them.
Do never forget that each action calls an other action in return.
Let me trust the polish.

cordialy, Friederich Von Zollern

 

[unmerged(40049)]

To Friederich Von Zollern

My friend.

Of course you have no reason to fear your polish neighbors, but the fact that you do does not give me a feeling of mutual trust.

It makes me sad that you can not leave your country for a brief period of time, without being afraid that your closest friend might backstab you.

Are you afraid when you turn your back to your wife, that she may attack you? Are you afraid that your sons may turn back on you and try to assasinate you?

Poland is a country of heroes and honor, it is completely out of the question that we may attack in a non-gentleman way.

I do not wish to cause more misbelief with this letter, so let me end it by saying that, though i am hurt, i still regard you as one of my close friends

/Wladislaus II Jagiello of Poland

 

[unmerged(19666)]

The great King Henry VI offers greetings to friend and foe, hails to both high and low! (my new writer likes to rhyme, dunno why)

As you all know my great father, Henry V of England, wanted to claim the french crown. Well I kind of wanted that aswell, but while englands armies were down in the south of france whiping the Dauphin's butt, those darn Burgundians turned around and backstabbed me, claiming the whole north of of france, including Paris.

A Burgundy controlling half of france AND the low countries cant be accepted, that would be too strong a force. I have therefore accepted to help the Dauphin in beating down the burgundians, in exchange for economical tribute.

I told my painters to make me look a bit more peaceful than my great father, and therefore showing you that I'm not a warmongerer. I just want to secure balance of power and make sure that my citizens have food on their table.

Peace and prosperity!