Ok I promised not to play EU again because of EU2 coming out soon, but, dammit, I couldn't resist!
Anyway, I've decided to put electronic pen to paper to share with y'all about this rather interesting game I've had. I started this game with the aim of achieving a Swedish Baltic hegemony, which included owning all the provinces lining that sea. It'll be in summary form, so there is no (or little) interaction, no characters, no nothing. Just me. Hello.
Difficulty: Hard/Normal. Background Music: Staind. Drink: Fosters (for now).
Options: Free Norway (make it a little easier for me), Free Brittany, CoT in Anglia, Byzantium, all majors off.
I spent the first few years appoiting baliffs and massing an army on the Norweigian border. By 1496ish I was ready and in a brief war I was able to annex Norway.
Sweden 1 - World 0
After a horrid few years of putting down revolts (I thought they were all national provinces, but no) I turned my attention to Russia which was steadily fighting itself to a standstill against Kazan/Ryazan.
I assemble an army of over 80,000 men and choose this time to invade hoping to grab a few provinces, or, God willing, Novgorod itself.
Naturally, I hadn't accounted for the massive Russian war machine and soon I was watching in horror as a massive (117,000) army began moving northwards. After a few gut-wrenching years I managed to agree to a peace with Kola going to me.
Sweden 2 - World 0 (barely)
I spend the next few years (up to about 1508) battling many, many, many revolts and trying (vainly) to recover the country from inflation, debt and lack of manpower. I managed to avoid bankruptcy just in time for Russia to decide it wants its useless little colony back. The fools.
This time I am slightly more prepared and my armies of harassment are holding the Russian steamroller at bay, nabbing me Far Kareila in the process.
Sweden 3 - World 0
Next comes along the mistake. I convert to Protestantism, stability is down and my orthodox provinces decide to play, severely whittling down my already knackered armies, but the big fear is Norway will declare independence and I'll have to annex it all over again.
Again, fortunately, I manage to avoid that barely, but, sadly, just as my first BB war erupts.
I forget the entire list of who took part, but I know that the Hanseatic league, Portugal, and Denmark all played.
The first half went badly, defeat after defeat at sea, in the end, forced all my fleets back home (though one fo the rare victoris for me nabbed me Portugals maps mwahahaha) Hanseatic troops began rampaging around lower Sweden/Norway.
Second Half: I'd had enough. "No!" I shouted at the computer, "ENough!" And I went about raising two fleets and two armies. Denmark was going down. I was willing to let those Germans already on my lands die from winter and attrition (the fools). Army group A under General Charles somethingorother navigated the tricky Baltic corridor and landed in Jylland and set about laying seige to it. Army Group B headed for Gotland in the first of many attempts to take the cursed little island.
General Charles seemed to be doing very well, and he quickly captured two of the three provinces. Eslewhere (Gotland) I was on my third invasion and, little by little I was wearing them down. I was getting increased suspicious of Denmarks pitiful army; waht little I'd met I'd crushed easily (except Gotland, natch)
A year on and Charles is halfway through the last province when lo! We won a battle in Gotland, hurrah! Only 30,000 men and God knows how many ducats were lost in the process. I hate Gotland.
To cut a long war short, I soon annex Denmark and the Hanseatic League was pleased to take all 55 of my treasury (the week before new years no less), Portugal went home empty handed.
Sweden 4 - World 0
I settled in for the long run. Denmark would prove to be very costly in terms of manpower. Nevertheless, I didn't trust those so-called Merchants just south of me. More like Warlords. (The two provinces immiedately south of me both had 60,000 troops a piece) I mustered a pathetic little army of about 25,000 troops in Holsten.
But, being full of youthful enthusium as I am, I was quickly looking for a new target and Novgorod was calling out "Money! Tariff money right here!" It said, and with all the Russian armies 'daan saff'. I was hooked.
So I gathered the shattered rements of my army (about 18,000) boostered that to three times as much and declared war (1520ish) Immediately things went balls-up; obsessed with money I was, I failed to realise I had timed my attack in mid september, just in time to freeze to death. Damn you, winter! My armies where quickly reduced to a flaccid shadow of its former self, and thats before the Russians arrived.
Needless to say I was soon sent packing and again i emptied my treasury for a quick peace.
Sweden 4 - World 1 (curses on them)
Time for a little update on the rest of the world. Poland is huge. It managed to grab two Hanseatic provinces when I wasn't looking, a province from Crimea and parts of Austria and Bohemia. It now sits in the middle of Europe resembling Jabba the Hutt. I am scared of it.
Austria, on the other, has had to contend with almost constant wars, eventually reducing it to three provinces, unperturbed, they diplo-annex what remained of Bohemia.
France has been amazingly quiet, they took Calais in about 1510ish and from there just sat down and supported their allies verbally. No mad rushes into Helvetia, no headlong charges into Milan, no pointless border wars wiht SPain, no cringemaking gains into the Low Countries. Nothing, it sits there like a smaller version of Poland.
Savoy got Milan. Helvetia still exists, indeed, it managed to double up its possessions with Tyrol.
Venice has been busy with its merchantile trade and you wont find a CoT in europe without some Venetians busily making a profit, they have yet to lose a province.
Turkey, after imitating Poland-Lithuania for nigh-on thirty odd years suddenly turned around and annexed the whole of the Mamulukes in one single war. I paused the game and looked, mouth a-gape for at least five minutes. The whole country. In 1 war.
Ah, but I leave the most interesting news till last. Wait for it.
England. Isn't. Losing. To. Scotland.
MY GOD! Early on they lost the midlands and the marches, but since then they got both back, Strathclyde and the Grampians. I love this game.
But I digress. I spent about eight years waiting for Russia to slip up again. I am going to get Novogorod, I don't care if it ends up like another Gotland, I will have that province. Fortunately, about this time I recieve a shed-load of good generals, and soon people like Karl and Karl and Karl are leading my armies. The Danish garrison problem is solved by simply flooding each province with infantry and cavalry.
Anyway, I mass the biggest damn Swedish army ever, some 150,000 troops and wait. And wait. About four years later, Russia declares war on Golden Horde and I'm in. Immiediately all Russian forces make a beeline for me (sigh), but I have sufficent forces to hold out and, just as the Russians gain the upper hand, I have Moscow. Ha! Novgorod and Onedga are mine! Mwahahaha! The Russian forces march away dejected whlie I rock back in my chair, with a mug of hot chocolate laughing insanely as I see how much in tariffs I'm suddenly pulling in.
Sweden 5 - World 1
Fast forward twenty-odd years of fighting rebellions, legal counsal appointments and Naval supplies factory building, and one minor BB war which ends with four thousand stranded Byzantium troops, and many, many, many dead Spaniards on the shores of Gotland. Seems the curse works both ways. During this time I recruited Prussia to my alliance.
Sweden 6 - World 1
Its also about this time that I remembered what my personal objectives where. Somewhat nudged by realising that Teutonic Lands are actually national provinces for me. I pool what remained of my russian armies (mostly cannon strangely) and are just about to invade when half of Europe explodes into war. Normally I wouldn't give two shakes of a lambs tale for that news, except I hear that the Hanseastic Leagues involved, could it be? I wonder in surprise and lo! Yes, those huge armies on my border half gone off to be slaughtered by Frenchmen and Spaniards. With a cackle of joy I then realise that the Teutons have done likewise. "This is too good," I mutter, readily pressing 'Declare War' button.
Immiedately my top class generals spring into action, seizing both of the remaining Hanseatic provinces and Estonia. I am waiting for Prussia to grab Kourland before I make peace. But does it? Noooooo. In the end I have to make a hasty retreat before a large Teutonic army and my Danish forces are taking a whipping from Hannovian troops.
Undaunted, and come the new year, I march back, only to see that Russia annexed Kourland first. I'm sure it was to get back at me over Novgorod. Bastards. But with the Prussian problem out of the way I can go about my business of taking Estonia and annexing what remained of the Hanseatic League. Which I did.
Sweden 7 - World 1
And its only 1566. Ha. I love this game.
Anyway, I've decided to put electronic pen to paper to share with y'all about this rather interesting game I've had. I started this game with the aim of achieving a Swedish Baltic hegemony, which included owning all the provinces lining that sea. It'll be in summary form, so there is no (or little) interaction, no characters, no nothing. Just me. Hello.
Difficulty: Hard/Normal. Background Music: Staind. Drink: Fosters (for now).
Options: Free Norway (make it a little easier for me), Free Brittany, CoT in Anglia, Byzantium, all majors off.
I spent the first few years appoiting baliffs and massing an army on the Norweigian border. By 1496ish I was ready and in a brief war I was able to annex Norway.
Sweden 1 - World 0
After a horrid few years of putting down revolts (I thought they were all national provinces, but no) I turned my attention to Russia which was steadily fighting itself to a standstill against Kazan/Ryazan.
I assemble an army of over 80,000 men and choose this time to invade hoping to grab a few provinces, or, God willing, Novgorod itself.
Naturally, I hadn't accounted for the massive Russian war machine and soon I was watching in horror as a massive (117,000) army began moving northwards. After a few gut-wrenching years I managed to agree to a peace with Kola going to me.
Sweden 2 - World 0 (barely)
I spend the next few years (up to about 1508) battling many, many, many revolts and trying (vainly) to recover the country from inflation, debt and lack of manpower. I managed to avoid bankruptcy just in time for Russia to decide it wants its useless little colony back. The fools.
This time I am slightly more prepared and my armies of harassment are holding the Russian steamroller at bay, nabbing me Far Kareila in the process.
Sweden 3 - World 0
Next comes along the mistake. I convert to Protestantism, stability is down and my orthodox provinces decide to play, severely whittling down my already knackered armies, but the big fear is Norway will declare independence and I'll have to annex it all over again.
Again, fortunately, I manage to avoid that barely, but, sadly, just as my first BB war erupts.
I forget the entire list of who took part, but I know that the Hanseatic league, Portugal, and Denmark all played.
The first half went badly, defeat after defeat at sea, in the end, forced all my fleets back home (though one fo the rare victoris for me nabbed me Portugals maps mwahahaha) Hanseatic troops began rampaging around lower Sweden/Norway.
Second Half: I'd had enough. "No!" I shouted at the computer, "ENough!" And I went about raising two fleets and two armies. Denmark was going down. I was willing to let those Germans already on my lands die from winter and attrition (the fools). Army group A under General Charles somethingorother navigated the tricky Baltic corridor and landed in Jylland and set about laying seige to it. Army Group B headed for Gotland in the first of many attempts to take the cursed little island.
General Charles seemed to be doing very well, and he quickly captured two of the three provinces. Eslewhere (Gotland) I was on my third invasion and, little by little I was wearing them down. I was getting increased suspicious of Denmarks pitiful army; waht little I'd met I'd crushed easily (except Gotland, natch)
A year on and Charles is halfway through the last province when lo! We won a battle in Gotland, hurrah! Only 30,000 men and God knows how many ducats were lost in the process. I hate Gotland.
To cut a long war short, I soon annex Denmark and the Hanseatic League was pleased to take all 55 of my treasury (the week before new years no less), Portugal went home empty handed.
Sweden 4 - World 0
I settled in for the long run. Denmark would prove to be very costly in terms of manpower. Nevertheless, I didn't trust those so-called Merchants just south of me. More like Warlords. (The two provinces immiedately south of me both had 60,000 troops a piece) I mustered a pathetic little army of about 25,000 troops in Holsten.
But, being full of youthful enthusium as I am, I was quickly looking for a new target and Novgorod was calling out "Money! Tariff money right here!" It said, and with all the Russian armies 'daan saff'. I was hooked.
So I gathered the shattered rements of my army (about 18,000) boostered that to three times as much and declared war (1520ish) Immediately things went balls-up; obsessed with money I was, I failed to realise I had timed my attack in mid september, just in time to freeze to death. Damn you, winter! My armies where quickly reduced to a flaccid shadow of its former self, and thats before the Russians arrived.
Needless to say I was soon sent packing and again i emptied my treasury for a quick peace.
Sweden 4 - World 1 (curses on them)
Time for a little update on the rest of the world. Poland is huge. It managed to grab two Hanseatic provinces when I wasn't looking, a province from Crimea and parts of Austria and Bohemia. It now sits in the middle of Europe resembling Jabba the Hutt. I am scared of it.
Austria, on the other, has had to contend with almost constant wars, eventually reducing it to three provinces, unperturbed, they diplo-annex what remained of Bohemia.
France has been amazingly quiet, they took Calais in about 1510ish and from there just sat down and supported their allies verbally. No mad rushes into Helvetia, no headlong charges into Milan, no pointless border wars wiht SPain, no cringemaking gains into the Low Countries. Nothing, it sits there like a smaller version of Poland.
Savoy got Milan. Helvetia still exists, indeed, it managed to double up its possessions with Tyrol.
Venice has been busy with its merchantile trade and you wont find a CoT in europe without some Venetians busily making a profit, they have yet to lose a province.
Turkey, after imitating Poland-Lithuania for nigh-on thirty odd years suddenly turned around and annexed the whole of the Mamulukes in one single war. I paused the game and looked, mouth a-gape for at least five minutes. The whole country. In 1 war.
Ah, but I leave the most interesting news till last. Wait for it.
England. Isn't. Losing. To. Scotland.
MY GOD! Early on they lost the midlands and the marches, but since then they got both back, Strathclyde and the Grampians. I love this game.
But I digress. I spent about eight years waiting for Russia to slip up again. I am going to get Novogorod, I don't care if it ends up like another Gotland, I will have that province. Fortunately, about this time I recieve a shed-load of good generals, and soon people like Karl and Karl and Karl are leading my armies. The Danish garrison problem is solved by simply flooding each province with infantry and cavalry.
Anyway, I mass the biggest damn Swedish army ever, some 150,000 troops and wait. And wait. About four years later, Russia declares war on Golden Horde and I'm in. Immiediately all Russian forces make a beeline for me (sigh), but I have sufficent forces to hold out and, just as the Russians gain the upper hand, I have Moscow. Ha! Novgorod and Onedga are mine! Mwahahaha! The Russian forces march away dejected whlie I rock back in my chair, with a mug of hot chocolate laughing insanely as I see how much in tariffs I'm suddenly pulling in.
Sweden 5 - World 1
Fast forward twenty-odd years of fighting rebellions, legal counsal appointments and Naval supplies factory building, and one minor BB war which ends with four thousand stranded Byzantium troops, and many, many, many dead Spaniards on the shores of Gotland. Seems the curse works both ways. During this time I recruited Prussia to my alliance.
Sweden 6 - World 1
Its also about this time that I remembered what my personal objectives where. Somewhat nudged by realising that Teutonic Lands are actually national provinces for me. I pool what remained of my russian armies (mostly cannon strangely) and are just about to invade when half of Europe explodes into war. Normally I wouldn't give two shakes of a lambs tale for that news, except I hear that the Hanseastic Leagues involved, could it be? I wonder in surprise and lo! Yes, those huge armies on my border half gone off to be slaughtered by Frenchmen and Spaniards. With a cackle of joy I then realise that the Teutons have done likewise. "This is too good," I mutter, readily pressing 'Declare War' button.
Immiedately my top class generals spring into action, seizing both of the remaining Hanseatic provinces and Estonia. I am waiting for Prussia to grab Kourland before I make peace. But does it? Noooooo. In the end I have to make a hasty retreat before a large Teutonic army and my Danish forces are taking a whipping from Hannovian troops.
Undaunted, and come the new year, I march back, only to see that Russia annexed Kourland first. I'm sure it was to get back at me over Novgorod. Bastards. But with the Prussian problem out of the way I can go about my business of taking Estonia and annexing what remained of the Hanseatic League. Which I did.
Sweden 7 - World 1
And its only 1566. Ha. I love this game.
