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Council of the Haudenosaunee. (Haudenosaunee AAR)

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Mar 31, 2001
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This is for On topic posts only. Please nothing off topic. I will start each council, and then pass it to the Head Chief for the Council for the year.

The Great Hall.The seat of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy. Where all of the Great Chiefs meet to discuss the matters of the Haudenosaunee people. It is a place where decisions which will shape an Empire unfold. On this day, Dec 31, 1491, a new Council has begun. The Procession of Chiefs enters, with Chief Slayer of Many Chairs, of the regal Mohawk Tribe coming first, followed by Chief Big Bear Squats in Woods of the wise Oswego Tribe. Next comes the aptly named Chief Big Floppy Donkey Dick, of the humourous Tuscarora Tribe.
As the procession continues, a humble chronicler like myself must admit some awe in all that passes before me. Look! There is Chief Licking Tongue Tickle Toe of the fearsome Shenandoah Tribe, and there! Chief Dances With Stools of the brave Irondekoit Tribe . The Six Major Chiefs all sit on a rasied Circle, allowing them to see into the centre of the Great Hut with ease. Set up below them, on the ground, are the seats for the Minor Chiefs. Minor only due to the fact that they were recent joiners in the Confederacy, they are important nonetheless. These Chiefs control the only ports in the lands, making them strategically vital.
Look! Here comes Chief Count Swingie,of the adventurous Manhattan Tribe. And here, here comes Chief Spots on Tongues, of the cunning Delaware Tribe. And last, but certainly not least, comes Chief Sits When He Pees, of the sage Chesapeake Tribe. The King, Bear Paw, enters lastly, in a quiet procession. Although he is King in name, it is the Council who rules. The King is merely a figurehead.

Bear Paw:This year sees the Council in good spirits, I trust?

To which the assembled Chiefs repeat in unison

All Chiefs: Yes Bear Paw. The Council goes Smoothly.

Bear Paw stands in the centre of the Great Hut, and grasping a large stick in his hands, moves to in front of Chief Slayer of Many Chairs of the Mohawk Tribe, and after a second of silence, speaks...

Bear Paw: Chief of the Mohwaks, I grant you the use of the "Speaking Stick" which signifies that for this Council, you are the Head Chief. You will rule over the Council with Justice, and Wisdom, and shall relinquish the "Speaking Stick" one year from now. Do you accept this honour?

To which Chief Slayer of Chairs responded in a crsip, clear voice...

Chief Slayer of Chairs: I accept this honour, and vow not to abuse it. May the Great Spirit watch over us, and lead our nation to Glory!


With that, Bear Paw walks out, always facing the Head Chief, as such is the tradition, such is the way of life in the Council.

With the exit of Bear Paw, Chief Slayer of Chairs rises.


The First Great Council is now underway...
 
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Chief Slayer of Many Chairs rises to speak.

"Chiefs of the mighty Haudenosaunee nation, the Great Council meeting for the year 1492* is now in session!

"The first item on the agenda: the claiming of colonial lands. All Chiefs may claim one territory to place a colony in, but be warned: these colonies have potentially hostile natives in them...

"Being Head Chief, I have the privilege of choosing first. I claim the right to the territory of Connecticut. Chief Big Bear Squats in Woods of the wise Oswego Tribe, you may now make your decision!"

And so the selecting of colonies went on, until all of the Chiefs had choosen. Once more, Chief Slayer of Many Chairs rises to speak.

"The next item on the agenda: we have in our presence today three great warriors, warriors who are willing to risk their lives in order to expand the holdings of the great nation of the Haudenosaunee. They will now have a chance to speak, to tell us of their plans for exploration this year."

After the Conquistadors had spoken, Chief Slayer of Many Chairs rises once more to speak.

"Finally, every Chief will now have a chance to bring up any issues they wish to discuss with the Great Council, and to tell the Council of any purchases, conscriptions, etc. that they wish to make. Again, I will speak first. I will conscript a 10000 warrior army, which will march to Connecticut and eradicate all natives in the province. After that has been completed, I will send my colonist to Connecticut. Finally, I will finance the implementation of our new tax collecition system in the great city of Mohawk. I have no issues that I wish to discuss with the Council."

The Council then continued their meeting...

*- 1492 years ago, the Haudenosaunee nation was started when a group of 50 Olmecs from Mexico settled in Mohawk after getting VERY lost. The Haudenosaunee date system thus derives from this date, and is of no relation to the birth of the foreign infidel Jesus Christ, of whom the Haudenosaunee know nothing anyway.
 
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Chief Big Floppy Donkey Dick rises to well, uhm...speak. :D

He drags his huge youknowwhat up to the podium, moans a bit and almost get it "up".

After some help, he finally gets there. :)

-Dear small dickies of Haddadoanese land!
He is interrupted by some dumb twit that says "Sire, it is Haudenosaunee."

-Shut up local weener.

That was his opening speech.
He exits the podium with a fjonk. :)
 
Ok, I want to raise troops for my money and for the rest, if it is enuff, appoint a bailiff and/or send some traders or whatever.
:)
 
Chief Who Wears No Cloths Because They Itch, chief of the Onodaga tribe greets all other chiefs and says he have more wives then all other chiefs togheter because he is true Adonis. These wives aren't normal wives they are Onodaga wives, the most beautiful wives of the world. Medicin man tells me no smoke and no drink, but Singing Cow, the woman who has to control me is not here, she has affair with Horny Squirrel, she is nyphomane. Ugh! Many wives no good for chief, many wives nag all day! Me have to listen to women, me no like!
:eek:
 
A young warrior with a pair of shorts on his head impatiently steps up to the middle of the council.
Members of the council! Owners of those members! Most of you know me, Huron who charges with pants on his head, warrior and chargeur par excellence.
Let me speak up in haste, for I plan a long journey. I have heard about stupid looking barbarians to the south, who have what we covet: A magical potion that makes the imbiber undefeatable

A commotion ensues as the chiefs discuss this magical potion

Yes. It was passed down to me from my father, who heard it from my father´s father, who in turn was informed by my father´s father´s father and my father´s father´s father´s father, who both had been told by my father´s father´s father´s father´s father...

Charges with pants on his head is cut short as he is hit on the head by a jug, which is the traditional sioux way to tell people to get to the point, for Manitou´s sake!

Anyway, in our family we know of a strange man with a white beard, who was called Miraculix at his home but Quetzacoatl at his destination, who knew the secret of just this magical potion.
Obviously, he came from far away and joined a people that lives far to the south of us. They call it cocoa
Now, everybody knows, that magical potions are the birthright of us hauderablabla, or whatever we call ourselves, so I will set out and reclaim that birthright for us right now!
I will take my warriors, and head to the lands of Kentucky and follow the banks of the big river south, and if anybody will try to stop me, I will CHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGE them into oblivion!

And so, Huron who charges with pants on his head leaves the council in order to set out for his great endeavor.
 
Me want to try potion to, you tell my medecin man this is healthy potion? Ugh! I can trade wives for this "cocoa" thing???
 
A Beautiful Women enters...

The Council continues discussing their matters, when a beautiful middle aged woman enters. Everyone looks to her, and silence fills the room. She clears her throat, and speaks:

"I am known by many names! To some, as Raven. To others, as World Bear. And to others," She pauses, carefully looking at each Chief, " As Great Spirit!"

There is silence as what was said sinks in. Great Spirit takes Her time, and then speaks again:

"I come because I am displeased with what I see. Talk of wives, the inability to get our name right. This does not sit well with Me. We are a Noble People. We were here before many others that have since settled, who have since split up our lands. Of Course, I speak of the Ottawa, Beothuk, Micmac and Huron. I would say this: Do not tread lightly in this Council. No more foolishness. Not in the Great Hut. Any foolsihness you have, take it outside. Matters of State are discussed in here. Only Matters of State . And our name is Haudenosaunee . A regal name, a noble name. Remember it! I leave you to your Council, but know this. I watch what each of you does, and if you wish to gain entrance into the Great Hut in the Sky, you would be well advised not to take matters in here lightly.

There was a rush in the Great Hut, as the Great Spirit spun around and around. With a puff, she disappeared. The Council contemplated the severity of what just happened...


===================================================================


[OOC: Please, please, try to lessen the sillyness in the Council. Be as silly as you want in the Story/Rumours thread. I know I said no OOC in here, but this is the only exception. Otherwise, this thing will dengenerate into a bunch of ridiculous stuuf. I do not want this. So, look to how Sharur did his post. All you need to say, as a chief is " I want to improve the gathering of furs in my province" and that means you want a tax collector in your province. Say you want to expnad the empire to include Erie,that means send a trader to Erie. Just think "How would a Chief of the Haudenosaunee ask for this?" and go from there.

I thank you for your adherance to these simple rules.
That is all
 
Me, big chief Dances with Stools, have decided to do the folowing: a fur vollector will be appointed to make sure that every Irondekoit pays his 'protection fee' to me, big chief Dances with Stools. Also will my brave people form an army, 2000 men strong. They'll march to the province to the west, called Erie if I'm not mistaken, and they'll show the local natives the advantages of civilisation. Then shall a brave group of 100 Irondekoit build a village in the cleared province. Big Chief Dances with Stools has spoken, and so it shall be done.
 
I, the great explorer I-Want-You-Tecumseh-This, has heard of many wonders to the north of our lands. I delare that I shall take my warriors and strike up through Onodaga to visit these wonders. Furthermore, I will convince these people I meet, by whatever means neccessary, that they would be more than happy to live under Haudenosaunee rule. So I have said, so let it be done!
 
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Swings on the End of a Rope (a.k.a Swingie) arises. He was known for his very good speeches, and very long too, so the chiefs made sure they where sitting comfortably. He began with clearing his throat:

"When I see all you mighty Cheifs before me I can only think, damn, we're unbeatable. Our strong nation is the biggest and most powerful in the world, and let it stay that way. To protect the lands of our ancestors, I have decided to raise as many good warriors as possible in my lands, 3000 or so. To improve our gathering of fur more, I have also decided to appoint a fur collector, that overlooks all the hunting..."

After that he began to speak about things that was of no concern for the council, ending half an hour later with:

"May our nation live forever."
 
We, the mighty Onodaga tribe will raise an army of 10000 soldiers (10000 infantry) (50d), send a collector for national taxes (tax collector) (50d) and send our colonist to Niagara (will then have 70 d left)
 
The Tribe of Shenandoah will use it's scarce funds for this year in the following manner: We will instate an official to oversee the fur-trading activities and marketplaces in our province, this to improve our economy and increase our profits. We will also make an attempt to add the bordering province of Appalache to our lands.

May the Great Spirit be with our new tax official and our brave party of settlers on their way to the Appalache wilderness!
 
A small addendum to the wishes of Chief Licking Tongue Tickles Little Toe of the Shenandoah:
Additionally, we would also like to fund a training course for 4000 of our fine men, so they may be used as warriors! Upon completion of their training, they shall be sent to Appalache to ensure the safety of our settlers.

May the Great Spirit be with us all.
 
Cheif Sits When He Pees of Chesapeake stands up and addresses the Council.

*ahem* My fellow chiefs, I believe that there is no day like today for the Haudenosaunee. Many fresh lands stretch before us, and our coffers are full.

Chief Sits When He Pees takes a puff from his pipe.

Mmm... Heap good tobakky... Anyway, I should like a general improvement of the houses in my village (75d - Level one fort). As the other chiefs are building us a fine army, I shall commision a fleet of 6 great war canoes (6 Warships - 48d). Finally, I order a party of 100 Chesapeake to colonise our nearby province of Powhatan. May the Great Spirit be with you.
 
Plots and plans

Chief Spots on Tongue of the newly recognized tribe of the Delaware sits patiently awaiting his turn, finding this method of speaking confusing, but understands its usefulness with so many wishing to speak.

His plans are simple, and he has them sketched out on a sheaf of bark pages. For this year he has already directed his people to construct a palisade about the capital (Fort, level 1: 75 d), and he is commissioning 4 warships (48d). He smiles - while he might be new to the Council, his people knew watercraft, and that would allow him to gain stature in the Council, or so he hoped.

* * * * * * * *

OOC: Sorry for being late in posting - out all weekend. But here's my first requirements)

-Corey/Spots-On-Tongue
 
A messenger of Charges with Pants on his head enters the room:

My general has told me to let you proud chiefs know, that he actually won´t charge everyone on his way, but rather try to befriend all people he meets on his way in order to join his crusade against the legendary people to the south who have the gold that should be ours.
He is already on his way to Kentucky and will go south from then on. (Heading to Biloxi).
Once he reaches the great lake that is supposed to be there, he will walk along the shore until he reaches this distant nations, hopefully with many proud soldiers from the lands he will pass.
 
Hello Guys,
I know you are waiting for my responce so we can get under way , but I have 1 small problem. I got back after a weekend trip Sunday night , and forgot to check my e-mail/ICQ. I would like to make my speech so we can start but I need to know which lands are available at the start for colonizing/TP'ing. I know there is a screenshot somewhere around this forum , but I can find it. The sooner I find it the sooner I can get my ass in gear.

Chief Big Bear Squats In Woods
(Chief SIW for short if anybody prefers)
 
Originally posted by Honour_Shogun
HonourShogun_Iroquois1492.jpg.jpg


Blows on Jugs lays the map out, but know this Chiefs. This is the only time that such an act shall happen in the council
Click to expand...

all chiefs are surprised, nobody knew that Blows on Jugs had one of those invisible maps.
 
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