Did I just join the dark side?

[SBerger]

So I may have inadvertently changed to the dark side. I'm playing a game as the Freehold of Old Valyria with the Colonize Valyria mod (Which is amazing, but it's a bummer you can't use your house flag as your nation's), and my late 60 year old ruler has a multitude of children. Half are bastards. I didn't get the luck with my two wives, one died and together I only got one son in the picture, which now is fine because my family tree contains many males to keep the house running. On to my bastards! One bastard was mothered by a courtier of mine. The rest.... Well.... Most of their mothers are still in my jail. Only one is a slave and that just happens to be the sister of the Rock Queen, and the previous wife of the Lord Paramount of the Riverlands (Can't really be a wife when you're enslaved half way around the world). Well yeah, I think on last count I have 10 to 12 bastards and all but two of their mothers aren't in my jail. One of them died in childbirth. I'm not sure if Robert would approve of my methods because most of his bastards were tavern wenches and, women of the street. Oberyn would half approve because my bastards are raised in my household and given the best education is the world, but I doubt he'd approve of the treatment of their mothers... All-in-all this game can get very dark, dark indeed. Sort of like the time I castrated that probably 5 year old Lannister, after I castrated his grandfather, then castrated his father, effectively ending the Lannister is Casterly Rock line. Very dark indeed.

 

[Pityulade]

Classic CK2/Song of Ice and Fire material.

 

[P5166661]

I have 16 bastards from the 'Master Seducer' trait, and 7 trueborn children from my actual marriage. Don't feel bad.

None of the mothers are locked up though, and my character has never castrated anyone(I like to think he imagines how horrible life would be for him if someone neutered him).

Edit: I also have about 6-7 secret bastards.

 

[SBerger]

You see P5166661, I don't have master seducer, I never even went on the seduction focus on that guy. The majority of my bastard's mothers are still married, but in my dungeon. I never seduced them, I captured them in sieges and never ransomed them. On the bright side, I made a new game with some of the Valyrian religion mods. This time I captured Jaimie, castrated him, used my mystical Valyrian magic to cure his castration, then castrated him again.... Then proceeded to make him my slave, to which he kept on bouncing from my court to the court of the Kingsguard, back to my court, exiled to the Night's Watch, back to my court, and so on. It's really freaking hilarious.

 

[Pukovnik]

Ahh, sweet summer child..

Joined the dark side, you have not, my son, the dark side was always within you.

 

[P5166661]

And while we're on the subject of the dark side...

While on a round of seductions, I chanced across the newly 16 year old daughter of one of my lords... I seduced, of course, and got her pregnant, only to realize, the next time I opened charinfo... that she was one of my secret bastards I'd forgotten about.

I spent the next half minute or so giggling uncontrollably.



You know nothing of the dark side, you sweet summer child. Life is not a song.

 

[Andurhil]

Heh. Dark side? Let me tell you a little something about the dark side. My Greyjoy game made the Targaryen's seem tame. I started out as the Greyjoy (can't remember his name) in the Aegon's Conquest campaign, and eventually became Lord Paramount. Throughout his lengthy life he fathered about 12 trueborn sons and daughters, and close to thirty bastards from all over the place. (I -love- the visit chambers option, now of course there's seduce with WoL which is equally nice.) I ran into a bit of an issue. There were only so many eligible males to marry my daughters off to after the first generation. (What with the religious differences extremely narrowing my large pool of children to marry off.) I waited and married nieces to uncles and nephews to aunts, forcing distant cousins together before the Drowned God in holy matrimony. I occasionally impregnated unclaimed bastards as well. I figure if you're a Greyjoy, why be frugal in spreading your seed? This is what the Drowned God wants The best part of this was when I would go on reavings, it'd be with a majority of my adult sons, or when my first Greyjoy died, with his bastard and trueborn brothers, cementing their bond.

 

[Lapsed Pacifist]

You're a real piece of work aren't you?

 

[Capt Oblivious]

I played as House Bolton. Captured Winterfell in a rebellion and got Robb Stark's ENTIRE family. I subsequently captured Robb in battle and flayed him alive. Needless to say, I castrated Rickon and Bran, kept a discovered Arya in prison, and then had Sansa murdered. I ended up kidnapping Rickon and blinded him. Then incited Bran to rebel, captured him again, and blinded him. Making him a blind, sackless, and crippled former lord of winterfell.

I am indeed a terrible human being.

 

[Dutchemperor]

When pirates from the far east of Volantis invaded Westeros I unleashed my Targaryen dragons on their little island. I sieged them and imprisoned the entire family. While in jail I noticed how much they look like Valyrians, and how little Valyrians there are in Westeros. Eventually Viserys 'The Cruel' fathered 8 basterds at 5 different Volatine women (I bargained all the males) and I married these basterds to other Valyrian looking courtiers and Velaryon cousins to ensure the Valyrian pureness of the Targaryens in the future. When Viserys died I decided his son would release the women his father had so cruelly abused (after doubting a little of course, but my heir/now king was disliked by many, so I couldnt use the 'cruel' or 'ruthless' traits), only to find out a few months later a ninth bastard child of my father had been born, in Volantis unfortunately. So now there is Targaryen blood near the old freehold!

 

[pbr7994]

As a Pentoshi slave trader during Roberts Rebellion I launched a series of slave raids across Westeros (surprisingly easy when all the armies are busy elsewhere), eventually taking Ashara Dayne, Cersei Lannister, Lyanna stark and Rhaenys Targaryon as slaves, all four eventually became my concubines (though little Rhaenys had to grow up first), and I fathered many bastards on them, I also had the fortune to 'visit the chambers' of Elia Martell, before sending her home pregnant with my bastard.
I eventually built a slaving empire that was made up of the Rhoyne, the three daughters, the stepstones and pentos

 

[Azarias59]

Can you explain to my *why* you imprisoned the mothers of your children? Isn't it bad enough that they were slaves?

 

[SBerger]

Oh, they weren't slaves. They were imprisoned because I captured them in my various sieges of Slaver's Bay. I just never released or ransomed them... And to your answer, why not?

 

[Azarias59]

How very Cersei Lannister of you

 

[Tyon]

I always take Lannister women as slaves. Gives me great rpg pleasure.

 

[matsunaga]

The whole world hates my pirate king. he's sacked and enslaved everyone from his rebellious vassals (rebellions end up in enslaving the family and exiling the father). he conquered tyrosh and used the new levies to sack king's landing conquering it later on and taking a targaryen queen as a wife. (she was related to elia martel so he eventually inherited that indirectly).
Oh yeah sacked the summer islands and every rich freehold on the essoi coast.
To top it off he has enough legitimate and illegitimate children to make the freys blush.

Sadly i know it'll all come crashing down when he dies. (still kicking at 69 years - rum and wenches must be doing good for him.)

 

[TankRush]

Your petty and juvenile attempts at evil amuse me. Just more of the boring "rape everyone" stories that are so common to GoT "I did something bad" threads...

https://forum.paradoxplaza.com/foru...il-the-worst-things-youve-done-in-ck2.770278/

Go have a read, there's some damn creative shit in there (I came up with some of it).