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Dumb Battletech Facts In Lore!

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Amechwarrior

Amechwarrior

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Feb 23, 2018
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I have a really dumb idea for a mod and need everyone's help. I want to add entries to the loading screen tips, but only the dumbest, silliest and craziest facts in the BT universe. I want to get something that will make me chuckle while waiting for the mission to load.

One that always comes to mind, is when I get the FFF Burger event. I think of the "Beaufort's Cossacks Mutiny" in the old House Davion sourcebook.

From Sarna:
Beaufort's Cossacks were a mercenary unit and as of 2970 employed by the Federated Suns and located on Moravian.

Led by one Colonel Regnus, the unit became known for a peculiar mutiny in 2970: A clause in their contract with the government stipulated that all unit members would get a free meal twice a week at a local Triple-F restaurant, the most popular food chain in the Federated Suns at the time. Shortly after the arrival of Beaufort's Cossacks on the planet Capellan Confederation naval forces blockaded the planet. When the mercenaries did not get exactly what they ordered from Triple-F, Colonel Regnus accused Triple-F of defaulting on the unit's food supply contract to which the manager replied by blaming the naval blockade for supply shortages (which was presumably untrue given that Triple-F only had to import pickles, sesame seeds, and whale meat from offworld). This in turn caused the Cossacks to go on a rampage against Colonel Regnus' orders, commandeering civilian vehicles, shouting, discharging their weapons and storming the Triple-F franchise, demanding pickles and also items that Triple-F did not actually use in their products (suggesting they might have mixed Triple-F up with a smaller competing chain).

Since no civilians were hurt despite all the commotion and weapons discharges, Colonel Regnus took no disciplinary action.

The whole incident was covered in "From A Child’s History of Mutinies", by Henrietta Chabriole, Subversive Press, 3021.
Click to expand...

In the House book, they are quoted as saying "Where’s the pickle? Where’s the lettuce?" and the loading hint for this event would read something like:

Beaufort’s Cossacks mutinied over a clause for two free FFF Burger meals a week. “Where’s the pickle? Where’s the lettuce?” was their rally cry.
Click to expand...

I'm asking for help to provide and source stupid factoids like this that would exist "in-universe" in the 3025 period. The longest tip is 149 characters with spaces and punctuation and I'd stick to that limit or smaller. I can't really offer much in return, but I can credit you in readme.md for the project. There are 100 tips in the stock file and I'd say at about 20+ factoids I could start compiling them in to a mod. If possible, facts that deal with the people, places and events that take place on/near our games map space or are mentioned by name in-game would be preferable.
 
In Onslaught, Tales from the Clan Invasion, there may be just the type of “dumb, silly, crazy” fact you are looking for.

FBFB83CD-47A4-45D4-A29C-D2664B9BD1DE.jpeg


“During the Clan Invasion, one planet tried challenging the invaders to a game of American football for the Trial of Possession for their world under the idea that maybe the Clans didn't know how to play. Unfortunately for them, the unit that was invading their planet was an Elemental-heavy cluster from Clan Ghost Bear, where football was a popular pass time for Elementals. The defenders noted that while they were utterly crushed it was still the cleanest game they'd ever played because the Clanners considered it a mark of shame if they got a personal foul.”
 
Not sure how to put this into 149 charachters but Planet Bob is definitely a dumb Battletech Fact:

The Bob system was colonized during the Star League era at some point after the end of the Reunification War.[4][3] Originally named Dunklewälderdunklerflüssenschattenwelt, the system was depopulated during the First Succession War[2][5][6] due to an unfortunate combination of bureaucracy and the widespread effects of the war. The awkward name originally given to the planet led to the government setting a name change in motion from the planet's original name to "Bob", but due to the chaos of the First Succession War, the change failed to gain wide recognition and essential supplies of terraforming equipment failed to arrive as a result, dooming the colonies on the planet.

With the reason for it's original name being similarly dumb:

We blame the German-illiterate Draconis Combine clerk at the Ministry of Colonization who took down the name from the charter. They demanded an explanation what the name meant, and it got translated back again to German via the Ministry's own internal translation software. Which wasn't too good at German

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Bob
 
Prussian Havoc said:
In Onslaught, Tales from the Clan Invasion, there may be just the type of “dumb, silly, crazy” fact you are looking for.

View attachment 439620

“During the Clan Invasion, one planet tried challenging the invaders to a game of American football for the Trial of Possession for their world under the idea that maybe the Clans didn't know how to play. Unfortunately for them, the unit that was invading their planet was an Elemental-heavy cluster from Clan Ghost Bear, where football was a popular pass time for Elementals. The defenders noted that while they were utterly crushed it was still the cleanest game they'd ever played because the Clanners considered it a mark of shame if they got a personal foul.”
Click to expand...

Yes, that's exactly the kind of thing I want, but wrong time frame. Once the Clans invade, there is so much stuff I could add.

Spartakus said:
Not sure how to put this into 149 charachters but Planet Bob is definitely a dumb Battletech Fact:

The Bob system was colonized during the Star League era at some point after the end of the Reunification War.[4][3] Originally named Dunklewälderdunklerflüssenschattenwelt, the system was depopulated during the First Succession War[2][5][6] due to an unfortunate combination of bureaucracy and the widespread effects of the war. The awkward name originally given to the planet led to the government setting a name change in motion from the planet's original name to "Bob", but due to the chaos of the First Succession War, the change failed to gain wide recognition and essential supplies of terraforming equipment failed to arrive as a result, dooming the colonies on the planet.

With the reason for it's original name being similarly dumb:

We blame the German-illiterate Draconis Combine clerk at the Ministry of Colonization who took down the name from the charter. They demanded an explanation what the name meant, and it got translated back again to German via the Ministry's own internal translation software. Which wasn't too good at German

http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Bob
Click to expand...

I got this:
Clerical errors doomed planet Bob's name change from Dunklewälderdunklerflüssenschattenwelt. The original name is also a Kuritan translation error.
Click to expand...
148 characters
 
149-characters, huh?

I thought the BattleTech timeline began in 3050!?! : )

just kidding! :bow:



How about:

“Local scrap has been used to repair Mechs. “Repurposed” trucks have led to “WIDE LOAD, “LARD” and “Processed Chicken” appearing on the sides of Mechs“ (citation: original CityTech manual)
 
Over at the MWO forums, there's a 48-page thread started back in 2012 called "Ridiculous BattleTech Facts", you might find something in there perhaps?
 
A little out of timeline, but I enjoyed finding this Easter egg: the BV XXI Buster HaulerMech.

The Buster is an industrial mech made by the Bluth Corporation, a very successful Earth corporation. According to Sarna.net:
"Bluth Corporation is a large manufacturer of various IndustrialMechs. Bluth has produced the Buster series HaulerMech since the mid-26th century, and had numerous offices around the Inner Sphere. When a former employee of Bluth formed Sitwell Corporation and introduced the Powerman, the Bluth Corporation filed a lawsuit that lasted for years (the lawsuit actually lasted through the fall of the Star League and the beginning of the First Succession War). George Bluth, president and CEO at the time, was indicted on several counts of treason, embezzling, and theft. This led to the destruction of Bluth Corporation as an interstellar entity, with only the Terran office remaining intact."

This is essentially the plot and the name of characters of the TV series Arrested Development. Buster was the name of the Bluth's simpleminded youngest son Byron "Buster" Bluth. If only the Buster had a hook instead of two arms.
Im a Monster.gif
 
Ok, this isn't canon, however I still get a chuckle out of it.

One of the most lethal animals in the BattleTech universe, even to Battlemechs, is the feared...Space Ostrich!

SpaceOst.PNG


Remember, It is a Hazard Class 4, Indigo Threat!



P.S. If you want to see the whole manual that Penny-Arcade made for MWO, I'd check it out. Just search for MWO Penny-Arcade and you should find it rather easily. It will be posted on MWO's web site. It's a funny read.
 
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Amechwarrior said:
I have a really dumb idea for a mod and need everyone's help. I want to add entries to the loading screen tips, but only the dumbest, silliest and craziest facts in the BT universe. I want to get something that will make me chuckle while waiting for the mission to load.

One that always comes to mind, is when I get the FFF Burger event. I think of the "Beaufort's Cossacks Mutiny" in the old House Davion sourcebook.

From Sarna:


In the House book, they are quoted as saying "Where’s the pickle? Where’s the lettuce?" and the loading hint for this event would read something like:



I'm asking for help to provide and source stupid factoids like this that would exist "in-universe" in the 3025 period. The longest tip is 149 characters with spaces and punctuation and I'd stick to that limit or smaller. I can't really offer much in return, but I can credit you in readme.md for the project. There are 100 tips in the stock file and I'd say at about 20+ factoids I could start compiling them in to a mod. If possible, facts that deal with the people, places and events that take place on/near our games map space or are mentioned by name in-game would be preferable.
Click to expand...

I have to laugh, just finished reading this and up pops that very event
 
What about the lore in the original 3 books of the clan invasion (Kereskey trilogy maybe?) where they talk about interplannetary fax machines and how fast they are. Made me lol at the time.
 
Amechwarrior said:
Do you mean the normal HPG system or the Black Box system the FC used at the end of the 4SW?
Click to expand...

At one point they literally use the word "fax". Its not the HPG system. I dont think it is the black box system either based on how that is described rather extensively, but it could be. The fax i remeber because it made me lol at the time and was never mentioned again.
 
PadForce said:
At one point they literally use the word "fax". Its not the HPG system. I dont think it is the black box system either based on how that is described rather extensively, but it could be. The fax i remeber because it made me lol at the time and was never mentioned again.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I THINK it had something to do with a Comstar administered HPG black-out of Davion space or something like that. The "Fax" system was a way for them to maintain communications while Comstar tried to do their usual Comstar shenanigans. I could be wrong though, but I think it is something like that.
 
PadForce said:
At one point they literally use the word "fax". Its not the HPG system. I dont think it is the black box system either based on how that is described rather extensively, but it could be. The fax i remeber because it made me lol at the time and was never mentioned again.
Click to expand...
The "fax machines" are the black boxes.
http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Black_Box
 
Timaeus said:
The "fax machines" are the black boxes.
http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Black_Box
Click to expand...

Thanks for posting that. I was close in my quote above. I said the Davions were affected, but it was the Federated Commonwealth as a whole...

"When the Lyrans allied with the Federated Suns to form the Federated Commonwealth in 3020, one of the secrets shared with the Suns was the existence of the black box technology. Working in conjunction with the New Avalon Institute of Science, the Department of Military Communications and Research was born, and in November 3027 demonstrated the use of the black boxes for military communication. Within months the Department was distributing dozens of black boxes to military commands throughout the AFFS and LCAF. Black boxes would prove instrumental in the Fourth Succession War, especially when ComStar instituted a communications blackout within FedCom territory on false pretenses." - Sarna.net: Black Box

When things look dire, box of magic to the rescue :D
 
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