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IP address is your computers temporary internet ID number. you get a new one every time you log on. you can get permanent IP addresses but for personal users it isn't really advisable for security reasons. to find your IP address go online and then go start, run, enter 'winipcfg' and that should give you a dialogue box showing you your IP address
you need to know the host's IP address for internet games and benzo's site has recommended icq for this. but you could equally use MS messenger, its less of a memory pig than icq, or any other chat site that you agree on
choose multiplayer-internet- enter the host's IP address and you're away
i would like paradox to set up a dedicated multiplayer website with a lobby where everyone goes automatically when they choose multiplayer-internet, then you wouldn't have to fartarse around with icq etc.
see sierra's 'homeworld' for a model. its the best multiplayer internet system i've ever seen. almost uncrashable. you can also ping everyone in the homeworld lobby, which makes things easier