Judea, or "How I Learnt to Hate Egyptians and Seleucid Rebels"

[Fiftypence]

Judea, or "How I Learnt to Hate Egyptians and Seleucid Rebels"​

I was going to do a Pontus AAR, but decided to do this instead. Presenting, the first JudeAAR!

The land of Judea, home of the Jews, finally free from the Egyptian yolk! We are led by the brilliant Simeon Maccabeus. However, we are surrounded by enemies, so we'd better be careful. Egypt to the west, Seleucids and rebels to the north, Nabatea to the south. It would be a good idea to have a few years of peace and tranquility.

Oh crap.

Egyptians invade. Heavy infantry mercenaries are recruited, but most of our army is militia. To add to the good news, the Seleucid Empire to the north is currently having a civil war. Unfortunately, the rebels are allied with Egypt, which means war on two fronts, which strangely means the Seleucids are kind of unofficial allies.

Somewhat inevitable, I suppose. Our army heads for Damascus in retreat.

Victory! Maybe it's not as hopeless as I'd thought! After spending a few months sieging, we try an assault, fail, are beaten by the rebel army, and head back towards Judea. Sigh.

Come on, come on...

Haha! Take that you mummy-loving silly walking bastards! Judea shall be free! We follow into Sinai, lose, and head back to Judea. Meanwhile, the Seleucids have finished their civil war, securing my northern border.

Oh for f...​

 

[OutsiderSubtype]

Hmm. I predict that this AAR will live a short but glorious life.

 

[Olaus Petrus]

This sounds exactly like my two attempts as Judea. Although you are doing better than I did.

 

[coz1]

Enemies on all sounds sounds like a recipe for disaster. Good luck trying to pull it out. Should be fun to watch.

 

[Deaghaidh]

I echo the previous comment. Judea is damn near impossible. Makes you appreciate how tough it was for the real life Maccabees.

However, your AAR shows a shocking lack of Monty Python's Life of Brian references. Your situation calls out for the Judean People's Front's crack Suicide Squad.

 

[Grubnessul]

Yes, are you playing the Judean people's front or the People's front of Judea?

And a general named John... Should have been Brian.

Goodluck tho

 

[Lord E]

Very cool to see that you are playing Judea, but I have a feeling that this might also be a short AAR. With enemies on all fronts this certainly is a challenge, but I wish you good luck, seems like you have managed to do well so far, keep up the good work

 

[hjarg]

Jestor already did the shortest AAR, you know
Interesting read, though i suspect it will be cut a bit short.

 

[unmerged(56754)]

This is going to be too long to watch! ill have to cancel everything until next year!

Good luck to you brave sir

 

[comagoosie]

Nice AAR, and it seems you already have a very challenging start. I hope you can pull it off, I always want to see a small nation survive.

 

[Mike von Bek]

Well, it looks like the chances of survival are pretty slim - but if you can pull it off, we may be in for an incredible ride

 

[N Katsyev]

The humbling of mighty Egypt by little Judea... now that would be a story.

 

[Crookback]

Haha. Godspeed my good man.

 

[unmerged(79352)]

I wish all of the Jews of Judea a victorious war.

 

[unmerged(61606)]

Oh man, this looks good. With a constant stream of wars, it looks like you are going to have to struggle very hard to survive.

 

[Woody Man]

My brothers! We must struggle against the common enemy!

 

[Fiftypence]

Judea, or "How I Learnt to Hate Egyptians and Seleucid Rebels"​

Here's general John, son of our ruler Simeon Maccabeus. He has proved himself a very capable commander...

...well, most of the time. Judea's army retreats in the direction of Nabatea.

And win, settling down for a siege. Unfortunately, the Egyptians seem to mean business this time.

The fortress of Judea is assaulted.

And the glorious, if brief history of independent Judea comes to an end, annexed back into the Egyptian empire.



And thus, the Judean revolt came to an end, a spirited attempt at freedom in the end crushed by an overwhelmingly stronger enemy. But although Egypt had conquered Judea, there were some within the region who continued to foment unrest, rumoured to be led by John. They were known as...

The Judean People's Front!

or the People's Front of Judea. Everyone always got the two confused.

THE END​

 

[Fiftypence]

Well, I got annexed. Thanks for all the comments, I won't reply to them individually as the AAR's already over!

 

[comagoosie]

Sorry to have this AAR end so soon

I imagine that Judea is probably one of the toughest to play as, and your AAR agrees with me.

I enjoyed it as lasted.

 

[Grubnessul]

That's to bad