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Paradox [Hunger] Games AAR

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TheEuropeanHistoryNerd

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Apr 10, 2018
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Hello and welcome to this very odd AAR. The main point of this is to see which developer would win in a battle royale. How I did this was cheating so the Scandinavian Empire held exactly enough provinces to equal the number of easter egg developer courtiers + 1 so everyone except the starting emperor (Henrik Fåhraeus, the director of CK2) has a single random province while the emperor has two. The land of this great empire encompasses the whole of Scandinavia save for Iceland, the Faroe Islands and the Shetlands plus the Kingdom of Pomerania and the Duchy of Curonia. I also made sure that the empire title was elective.

All of my posts will have a list of people broken up into how many provinces they own for example in the beginning it would be
2: Henrik Fåhraeus
1: All others

But if Henrik Fåhraeus killed Steacy and took her land then it would be
2: Henrik Fåhraeus
1: All others

0: Steacy Mcilwham

The game will end when one of these conditions are fulfilled

  1. The Empire of Scandinavia ceases to exist

  2. All but one developer dynasty ceases to exist

  3. There are at least 3 empire titles held by different developer dynasties

  4. The year reaches 1453
I do have all DLC except for Sunset Invasion.

I will try to organize my posts as an event calendar for example
8th of January 1067: War breaks out between Henrik Fåhraeus and Steacy Mcilwham

9th of January 1067: Henrik Fåhraeus beheads Steacy Mcilwham ending her dynasty and claiming her land; all the horses of the world mourn the loss of their queen.

There will be some issues with observe mode not giving me the exact date if that does indeed happen then I will use the most accurate I can get it to (January 1067, Winter 1067, 1067, 1060s, 11th century)

Events that I will report on: Start and end of wars, births and deaths

I will also be placing random traits on the dynasty who controls the most land every 5 years (starting in 1070). To decide the trait I will roll a 6 sided die. The goal of this is to undermine the power of the strongest one so others can rise up and take his land. Depending on what I roll these are the effects.

  1. Lunatic

  2. Possessed

  3. Rabies

  4. Arbitrary

  5. Zealous

  6. Cannibal
Will the Paradox Staff unite and forge a destiny where they all prosper? Or will they fight among themselves burning and killing their so called friends? (I’ll post the first actual part of the AAR either tonight or tomorrow, the first one will be at least until 1070, possibly more if there isn’t enough events)
 
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3rd of November, 1066 Henrik Fåhraeus declares war on Grand Prince Mstislav of Novgorod
5th of February, 1067 David Ballantyne revolts again Henrik Fåhraeus
1st of October, 1067 Fredrik Wester's wife gives birth to a daughter named Astrid
21st of December, 1067 Henrik Fåhraeus' wife Emilie Ruden gives birth to twins, they are both female.
30th of December, 1067 Mathilda Bjarnehed dies in childbirth, her child is of another dynasty thus ends the Bjarnehed dynasty
1st of January, 1068 Gwenael Tranvouez's wife gives birth to a son named Guallon
10th of January, 1068 Fredrik Zetterman's wife Linda Kiby gives birth to a daughter named Alfhild
1st of February, 1068 Don Louie's wife gives birth to a daughter named Adriana
1st of April, 1068 Maksymilian Szczepanczyk's wife gives birth to a son named Waclaw
5th of April, 1068 Gordon Karpivin's wife gives birth to a son named Andrei
24th of April 1068 Dan Moore's wife gives birth to a daughter named Hereswith
14th of May, 1068 David's rebellion is crushed and he is drowned in wine, the territory of Gotland is siezed by Henrik. Thus ends the dynasty of Ballantyne
1st of June, 1068 Ezekiel Bruno Lugmair fathers a child out of wedlock
4th of July, 1068 Gabriel Urbans wife gives birth to a daughter named Eufemia
18th of September, 1068 Olga Koter gives birth to twins, one female and one male
19th of September 1068 Milzas of Pruthenia attacks Henrik Fåhraeus "cause he wanted to"
20th of September, 1068 for no discernible reason Henrik Fåhraeus burns Gabriel Urban and his daughter at the stake ending the Urban dynasty.
1st of April 1069, the Catholics revolt against Jason Ross
1st of April 1069, Olof Bjork's wife gives birth to a daughter named Edla
23rd of April 1069 Jason Ross' wife gives birth to a son named Hacon
1st of August 1069, Tobias Bodlund's wife gives birth to a daughter named Ingergred
1st of August 1069, Sebastian Borg's wife gives birth to a son named Niklas
1st of November, 1069 the people of Lubeck revolt against Olof Bjork
5th of December, 1069 Heinrich IV declares war on against Henrik Fåhraeus stating in a letter "I wanted some of his land"
9th of December, 1069 Boel Bermann is killed on the orders of Miltzas of Pruthenia ending the Bermann dynasty
And thats it for 1066-1070
5 Provinces: Henrik Fåhraeus
1 Province: Everyone else
0 Provinces (Dead): Bjarnehed, Ballantyne, Urban, Bermann
Note: I might have missed some stuff, if i find it i'll add it in. I might be slow on these releases this took me forever (almost an hour for 3 years) because I cant make observe mode give me notifications
 
TheEuropeanHistoryNerd said:
I cant make observe mode give me notifications
Click to expand...
I'm not really sure if this works but maybe you should play some random dude in some far-far-away land (so interaactions with Scandinavia are rather unlikely) and mark all the Paradox staff as POI? I didn't use this feature much so I cannot really say if it works that way (especially if out of diplomatic range).
Of course that would require you to actually play the game (at least to some degree).
 
Interesting concept
 
Anyone not mentioned yet surely just means you are probably still alive... high intrigue, like SolSara said. :cool:
 
Love this, my son Niklas will bring my lineage to prominence!
 
jesus christ I missed so much but yeah i only mention when they have something of note, if you are in my list i made of easter eggs devs you are in there, ill get back to it tonight ive just been busy xD
 
Where last we left our... heroes? Dev team lets leave it at that xD. Anyway where we last left the Dev Team, Emperor Henrik Fåhraeus had managed to steal and eliminate 4 other dev's (Bjarnehed, Ballantyne, Urban, Bermann) as it reached the first of the 10 year segments I gave Henrik Fåhraeus the trait lunatic (I randomly rolled), currently the Paradox empire is wrapped in 3 external wars (against HRE, Novgorod and Pomerania) and 2 internal wars (both revolts but neither led by a dev team). I am adding real fathers for fun.
P.S. A lot of those with religions such as a hinduism cant marry easily and therefore don't usually get kids :_ sorry
I also missed two thing so I'll go over them: Arthur Bialecki died in 1069, he died clutching his heart, Fredrik inherited it bringing his number to 2 and ending the Bialecki line and Uros Rudolf had 3 kids, two out of wedlock.

9 January 1070: Milla Lankinen gives birth to a daughter named Tuovi
7 February 1070: Joel Brock's wife gives birth to a daughter named Aleta
8 February 1070: Henrik Voeglius' wife gives birth to a daughter named Sanna
8 February 1070: Gwenael Tranvouez's wife gives birth to a son named Nicolas
4 March 1070: Bjarne Hallberg's wife gives birth to a daughter named Burli
8 March 1070: Johan Andersson's wife gives birth a son named Knut
7 April 1070: Carl von Carenwall's wife gives birth to twins Klara and Wenzel
3 May 1070: Victor Niemen's lover gives birth to a son named Mielitty out of wedlock
3 May 1070: Steacy Mac Ilwham gives birth to a son named Douglas, he is weak
8 June 1070: Anna Jenelius gives birth to a daughter named Ite
1 September 1070: Emil Tisander's wife gives birth to a daughter named Kunigunde
14 September 1070: Magnus Salder dies of an infected wound, ending the Salder line
15 September 1070: Matthew Frary's wife gives birth to a son named Arncytel, somehow despite Matthew being slow and infirm his son is born a genius
1 October 1070 Uros Rudolf's wife gives birth to a son named Gniewomir
5 October 1070 Markus Olsen's wife gives birth to a daughter named Algen
2 November 1070: Matthew Clohessy's wife gives birth to a son named Wihtraed, he is a genius
9 December 1070: Gustav Palmqivist's wife gives birth to a daughter named Saga
14 December 1070: Uros Rudolf's lover gives birth to a son named Erik, he is a bastard and NOT legitimized
16 December 1070: Ilya Woewodskij's wife gives birth to a son Wieslaw, while it is not known to the world Jason Ross is the real father
17 December 1070: Ezekiel Bruno Lugmair's lover gives birth to a son named Grim out of wedlock.
18 December 1070, Matthew Frary dies comatose in his bed his son succeeds him
1 January 1071: The Catholic Uprising is ended
9 January 1071: The war with the HRE ends
18 January 1071: Bartosz Maciejewski's wife gives birth to a daughter named Konstancja
10 February 1071: Frederik Zetterman's wife gives birth to a son named Harald
12 February 1071: Sara Wendel dies giving birth to her daughter Ylva, unknown to the world, the real father is Jason Ross, she is slow
24 April 1071: Daniel Moore's wife gives birth to a son named Eadsige
6 March 1071: Sebastian Borg's wife gives birth to a daughter named Ingrid, she is strong
8 March 1071: Somehow Henrik gave birth to an child with an unknown mother (Possibly rosebush) named Brage, he is attractive
8 March 1071: Jason Ross' wife gives birth to a son named Wulfstan
24 March 1071: Veronica and Szcesny Gunlyke give birth to a daughter named Karin, while it is not known to the public Karin is not Szcesnys child, nor anyone important
12 July 1071: Pernilla Sparrhult dies giving birth to a son named Selassie
21 June 1071: Henriks wife Emilie gives birth to a daughter named Hafrid, while it is not know to the public Hafrid is actually Johan Anderssons daughter
28 July 1071: Tjudmund Svartes Wife gives birth to a daughter named Marta, unknown to the world the real father is Henrik Fåhraeus
30 July 1071: Maksymillian Szcepancyk revolts against Henrik
1 August 1071: Johan Andersson's concubine gives birth to a daughter named Ingeborg
13 December 1071: Gwenael Tranvouez's wife gives birth to a son named Guentanet
23 December 1071: Joel Brock's wife gives birth to a daughter named Maer
18 January 1072: Uh... Thomas Johansson becomes the Pope... yeah so that ends his line basically (Oland was his former territory) but yeah thats neat.
1 March 1072: Staffan Berglen's wife gives birth to a son named Bror
17 April 1072: Victor Nieminen's concubine gives birth to a son named Bertil
20 April 1072: Jonas Harnesk's wife gives birth to a son named Sten
2 May 1072: Alexander Oltner's wife gives birth to a daughter named Maer
9 June 1072: Gustav Palmqivist's wife gives birth to a daughter named Katarina
25 July 1072: Henrik Voeglius' wife gives birth to a daughter named Maren
28 July 1072: Elinari Ni Rhodan gives birth to a son named Fothud
28 September 1072: Elinari Ni Rhodan dies of the Great Pox
8 October 1072: Carsten Mard-e-koochak's wife gives birth to a son named Maertijin but again Jason Ross is the real dad.
28 October 1072: Tjudmund Svartes wife gives birth to a daughter named Astrid

I'm gonna stop here because even 3 years takes forever
The current listing (If they give land away the land doesn't count towards their total)
2 provinces: Henrik Fahreus, Fredrik Zetterman
1 Province: Everyone else
0 Provinces (Dead): Bjarnehed, Ballantyne, Urban, Bermann, Bialecki, Johansson (He is now the pope tho),
 
Becoming Pope is a nice consolation prize I guess.
 
stnylan said:
Becoming Pope is a nice consolation prize I guess.
Click to expand...
yeah but I still dont know how the hell he got it, he wasnt in rome, he wasnt even a latin culture, he just kinda did it.
 
TheEuropeanHistoryNerd said:
jesus christ I missed so much but yeah i only mention when they have something of note, if you are in my list i made of easter eggs devs you are in there, ill get back to it tonight ive just been busy xD
Click to expand...

Where is this list? Is there a Lohmander in there? ;)
I must know what my alter ego is up to.
 
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