Poland-Lithuania! [NO-DLC] [Polandballs]

[Eyelslash]

Hi! This will be my first AAR (After Action Report). I plan to chronicle the history of the Polish Commonwealth from 1444 to 1821. (If I succeed!)
I won’t ramble too much, since everyone knows how this works, so I’ll just outline the core rules I’ll follow:

1. No DLCs — I planned this “challenge” a while ago, but with three old DLCs now free, I think it adds more possibilities to the game. I want to show new (and old) players that the game isn’t “worse” without DLCs, and you don’t need to spend hundreds of euros/dollars to enjoy Europa Universalis.
2. “RP-lite” principle — I’ll roleplay to an extent: aiding allies in wars, making historically sensible decisions over purely gamey ones.
3. Hard difficulty — Very Hard is too punishing, Normal is too easy for a nation like Poland.
4. I’ll include awful Polandball drawings (since I can’t draw anything else, honestly… but it beats AI art!), referencing in-game events.

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1. Introduction​

Let’s start with a quick backstory: Poland and Lithuania have been in a union since 1386, formed by the marriage of Lithuanian Grand Duke Władysław Jagiełło and Polish Queen Jadwiga.

Drawing 1. Depicts the wedding scene of the future royal couple.

The union held strong until 1440, when Władysław III claimed the Hungarian throne, dragging Poland into war with the Ottomans. In 1444, the Battle of Varna occurred. A reckless charge by Władysław — ignoring his ally John Hunyadi’s advice — led to his death.

Drawings 2 & 3. Show the moment Władysław (soon-to-be “of Varna”) attempted to attack the Ottoman army’s center.

His death ended Poland’s temporary control over Hungary and even threatened the Polish-Lithuanian Union. Though the Jagiellon dynasty still rules Lithuania, Poland is in an interregnum — the throne is empty, and nobles in both nations debate whether to continue the union.

Drawing 4. Trying to draw a throne was much harder than I thought...

2. 1444

Screen 1.

Here’s our realm in 1444: no sea access after losing territories to the sinister Teutonic Knights years ago. The Duchy of Mazovia is our vassal; Lithuania to the east is friendly. Expansion west is blocked by the Holy Roman Empire, and to the south, we border Hungary, which hates us after losing them Varna.
I start by setting rivals: Hungary, the Teutonic Order, and the Kalmar Union (led by Denmark). I also seize land from our three estates (nobility, burghers, clergy), sparking a minor revolt I quickly crush. I summon the estates to appease them and pick the clergy’s mission: improving relations with the Pope.

Drawing 5. Our three estates:

• Bloodthirsty, saber-rattling nobility.
• Merchants who just want to grill... I mean trade in peace.
• Clergy obsessed with stability and the their good status quo.
  (Shoutout to Tengam15 on r/Polandball for the face templates!)

I grant parliamentary seats to Poznań, Nowy Sącz, and Lublin. Our government is the “Great Sejm” (local nobility), which slows administrative progress and boosts noble influence.
I forge alliances: Lithuania (our friend) and Bohemia (likes us). I improve relations with regional powers and prepare claims on Teutonic lands.

Drawing 6.

Our army is ~20k troops — decent against the Teutons but weaker than, say, the Ottomans. I temporarily stop paying them; we need cash.

Screen 2.

I start a parliamentary debate for “wartime support” (no war yet, but with our regency and religious tensions, stability helps). Currently, ~70% of the nation is Catholic; the rest are Orthodox Christians in the east (unaccepted, but part of our 183 total development).
After winning the Sejm debate, I spend all funds to recruit a few thousand infantry. Nothing major happens next — some nations claim us, estates squabble, I hire advisors.

In 1447, Bohemia turns Hussite (we stay friends). Oddly, they also gain a PU over Gotland. Wait… CZECHIA HAS A SEA ACCESS NOW?!

Screen 3.

Drawing 7. The cold Baltic Sea, sunlight for max two months of a year, and 5L of cheap, Czechian beer. What more does one need?

An event pops up: support a Moldavian ruler to vassalize them. Obviously, I do it to expand influence.

Screens 4–5.

Success! Moldavia becomes our march (no annexation, but stronger military support).

Drawing 8. The dawn of Polish-Moldavian friendship. Let’s ignore that it began with us helping Voivode Roman with massacring all of his political rivals…

And then...

Screens 6–8.

Prepare for trouble!
And make it double!
To protect the world from devastation!
To unite all peoples within our nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love!
To extend our reach to the stars above!
Poland!
Lithuania!
Commonwealth blasts off at the speed of light!
Surrender now, or prepare to fight!
Drawing 9.

 

[Chac1]

Good luck to you @Eyelslash (great screen-name by the way) with this AAR and thanks for summoning the bravery to begin something like this.

What's not to like? Funny hand-drawn cartoons. Pithy commentary. Poetry! Quite the starting combination. (As an artist with a sense of humor, please don't look down on us less fortunate who must use AI to conjure our visions.)

I will definitely keep track of this already interesting journey.

In case you have any questions, please feel free to ask members of the community. I think you will find this a welcoming and supportive place for AAR authors.

One suggestion to you is to create a signature and link your AAR to your signature as a way to let others know about your AAR.

Other notes:

You may wish to advertise your AAR in the Inkwell.

If you'd like to research writing topics there's the SolAARium and the fAARq, which are excellent resources.

Also, feel free to interact with other writers in the main part of the AARland forum.

There are a few other suggestions, but that's probably already too much for now.

Good luck to you and your AAR!

 

[StrategyGameEnthusiast]

Bohemia turning Hussite will have interesting repercussions for the rest of Europe.