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Sweden - A tale of the People's ScandinaviAAR

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Feb 26, 2004
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HoChiMinh - We must unite! Workers of Sweden, we are one! From this day on, this nation is ours, and we are its rulers!

[crowds cheer happily, and waves with little flags]

HoChiMinh - But we cannot see the workers of our neighbourghing countries become raped by the beorgoasin. We must act! We shall work to unify Scandinavia under our banner, the banner of the workers!

[crowd cheer even more]

HoChiMinh - *raises hand to quiet crowds* Now, comrades, this is a dark age for us. We have seen men such as Mussolini and Hitler take power over countries, and we've seen these men force out fellow workers to do their dirty work for them. Be known, that while we pose no threat to them, we certainly will work to liberate our fellow workers in those countries, for nationality doesn't matter! The Internationale unites the human race!

[cheers]

THE PEOPLES' REPUBLIC OF SWEDEN
By modding a little, I managed to create a leninist Sweden, and I will now make an AAR in its mission to unify all of Scandinavia, including Finland.
There was a coup, and the nation got a new leadership. This is the new cabinet of Sweden:
http://svartakrabban.1go.dk/cabinet.jpg
As you can see, the new leader is HoChiMinh, also known for such revolutions as Vietnamn. He will lead the nation as the new Comrade (notice capital C).

The nation in question is Sweden. Here is a map of what it looks like:
http://svartakrabban.1go.dk/sweden1936.jpg
(I would've made Sweden red, but I don't know how to). Yep, it's that ugly blue thing, but that will be changed soon, as HoChiMinh has decided that he will claim the whole of Scandinavia, including all of Finland (yes, all of it, even the claims they have from Soviet) and even Iceland and Greenland. Long live the people, long live the state.

Update on its way...
 
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[Imagine a large, ugly building on the end of an island in the middle of a city. It's an old building, built to look kind of like a palace might look. The 18th century french architecture is appearent all over the building.
Now, turn your eyes a bit to the left, and you see a small two-story building in pink stone. Yes, pink stone. That is the old prime minister estates, and the new seat of government for Sweden (the other building was the parliament, now it's a... hotel for people-who-just-happens-to-not-like-the-new-government-and-need-to-be-convinced-otherwise).

HoChiMinh - Dearest members of the cabinet, I have gathered you here so that you may give me an overview of my... erh... I mean the peoples' new nation.

Schlyter - *puts his hand in the air*

HCM - Yes? Who are you by the way?

Schlyter - I'm the minister of security.

HCM - Do you mean "security" or actual security?

Schlyter - The one without the funny signs around it.

HCM - Got it.

Schlyter - Is it true you have decided that we will invade our neighbourghs?

HCM - Yes we will inva... liberate our neighbourghs, and since you have already started talking, you might as well tell me what comments you have on things.

Shclyter - Ehm... Ehm... They're fine, I guess...

HCM - You guess?

Schlyter - Well, I don't actaully know what a minister of security does, I just applied for the job because I was promised to see the world.

HCM - *sighs* Okey then... Could the minister of the army tell me of our current situation then?

Nygren - Sir, yes sir! *salutes* We have five army squads, sir! And a militia, sir!

HCM - Stop yelling... and spitting.

Nygren - Unable to comply, sir!

HCM - Ehm... okey... *dries his face with a napkin* Now tell me, do you think we are ready for an invasion of any of our neighbors? Denmak perhaps, they are small and weak.

Nygren - Then Denmark it is, sir! I will mibilize the troops, sir!

HCM - You do that... Airforce then...

[a man wearing a stereotypical world war 1 flyer costume, complete with weird goggles and all, stands up.]

Frils - That'd be me.

HCM - Our airforce... tell me about it.

Frils - We have 200 planes, 100 strategic bombers and 100 naval bombers.

HCM - Okey... We could use these against Denmark. Are they in flight condition.

Frils - Aye, sir, indeed they are.

HCM - Good. Send them to an airbase within range of Denmark. Our naval commander then...

[a guy in a divers suit stands up]

de Champs - Dhad'll be fe.

HCM - What?

de Champs - *takes out mouthpiece from mouth* That is me!

HCM - Why are you wearing... forget it, I don't want to know! Tell me, how is our navy doing?

de Champs - Just fine. The other day we had a race in the Stockholm archipelago to see who could round Muskö first and get back to port. It was fun!

HCM - What? That is my... the peoples' ships you're talking about! Oh, never mind, just send the damn boats down to the Port of Malmö and get ready for war.

de Champs - Right away sir!

HCM - Great, now I have a headache! Take five, and get back later.

To be continued...
 
HCM - Welcome back, members of the cabinet. Before we start, I would like to announce that we now are part of the Communist International. A telegram arrived during our break, from Stalin himself! He offered me to join the comintern... uhm, I mean, he offered us, the people to join the comintern.
He has also told us of his plans to attack Finland at a later date, and therefore, we should place our troops at the Finish borders, so that we made aid Stalin. He has promised that we will get all Finish territory that is taken in that war, except his claims, naturally.
Therefore, move the army, navy and airforce. Move the airforce to Stockholm, and move about half the army there. The other half shall be moved to our northern border with Finland.
Now, let's continue our meating.
Minister of staff, what have you to say.

Schlyter (minister of security) - He isn't here.

HCM - What? Where is he then?!

Schlyter - He said to absolutely not tell you that he has taken a vacation in the Bahamas, and that whatever happens never tell you that it is a payed vacation.

HCM - *beep*

Schlyter - Did I say something bad?

HCM - That *beep*ing son of *beep*ing *beep*ers *beep*! *sigh* The armanents minister then...

Wigforss - Yes... that is me... We have just finished building 100 tanks and deployed them, and now we are building infantry.

HCM - Okey, sounds fine. Research then? What are you researching?

Wigforss - Tank and medical technologies. We have also began to expand our industries.

HCM - Great, then! Who is left... yes, the minister of intelligence... were is he? Has he gone to Bahamas too?

Jung - *steps out of shadow* Yessss, I am here... Assss you may know, we have sssent all... annoying sssitizzen to 'ze old parliament building. If you lisssten carefully... you may here 'ze ssscreamsss right now...

HCM - You are creepy! Go away!

Jung - *bows a little, dissappears into the shadows*

HCM - Now, our foreign minister is on his way to Russia, to make an agreement, and thus this meeting is concluded. You may leave.
 
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Wigforss - Sir, I'm happy to tell you that we have improved industry in most of our nation. We have also discovered several new ways to use penicilin, and our infantry has been deployed. We have now started building three more transport ship divisions, to increase our ability to drop troops later on.

HCM - Excellent news. As for our promised war against Finland, Stalin said to me that it might take a while, so until then, we will have to wait. The other nations are playing the world, so to speak, by influencing others that their political view is the best. No one has so far tried to influence us.

[a messenger comes running in]

Messenger - Comrade Minh, there are twenty Russian scientists outside asking to see you. They have important new research to give us!

HCM - Great! Our allience pays off. I will see them right now. You may go, comrades.

*later*

HCM - I just got word from Russia... Stalin is appearently killing his own officers...

Schlyter - What a stupid person he must be!

HCM - What are you doing here! You don't even know what you're sopposed to do as a minister!

Schlyter - True, but then again I can't be exchanged! *laughter*

HCM - *swears to Paradox about not programming enough ministers* I would do as Stalin myself, but as you said, I can't replace you at the moment...

Schlyter - I love my job!

Wigforss - Sir, our boats are ready, and we have started building tanks.

HCM - Fine, fine. Now leave me alone! I need to sleep and have dreams about killing Schlyter.

Schlyter - I love my job!
 
*Three years later*

HCM - Gentlemen, I'm happy to tell you that we now have an army mightier than any other Scandinavian nation! *whispers something about "except Finland"* We are now powerful enough to become the rulers of the Scandinavian people's state we have talked about for so long.
Stalin signed a pact, giving him the rights to invade East Europe and Hitler wont intervene.
Now, there's just one problem in this.

[the Comrade points at a photography on the wall. It protraits an ugly little man with the ugliest mustasch ever wearing a very stupid military unifrom with rider's boots]

HCM - This man, Adolph Hitler, was once known as the "menace of Europe", "enemy number one to democracy", "that ugly little wannabe painter from Austria who thinks he is a German and makes funny noices in bed", and other things. Europe and the world has been preparing for war ever since 1936, when Hitler said that Danzig was his.
Today, Hitler suddenly said: "Danzig isn't mine! Neither is Austria! F*ck Danzig and Austria! I'm happy with Germany and Czhechia, now leave me alone!". When confronted with question regarding his warmongering, he said it was all a, quote, "Big joke".

Schlyter - *raises hand*

HCM - Yes?

Schlyter - A completely unrelated question: have you got a new minsiter to take my place yet?

HCM - Thanks for asking... *takes our revolver, aims at Schlyter, fires, hits head* Yes, I do! Could someone clean up the mess? Thank you!
Anyway, we will just have to wait and see what happens now. Hopefully, Stalin attacks Finland as planned, and we can join in the war as planned. Our Russian friend has already "persuaded" Estland and Latvia into annexation.
Oh, and an official from Mongolia came into Stockholm today on horseback. He was their most advanced solider ever. They are primitive, I can tell you that.

Nygren - Permission to speak, sir!

HCM - *sigh* Yes.

Nygren - I didn't think he was that primitive, sir!

HCM - He was armed with a bow...

Nygren - Well...

HCM - and he wore hides...

Nygren - That doesn't necesarrily mean that...

HCM - and attacked my car, calling it a "dragon"...

Nygren - Cultural distinctions doesn't mean that...

HCM - he had ridden all the way from Mongolia to Stockholm on a donkey...

Nygren - Donkeys are fine animals, and...

HCM - when I asked his buisness, he said taht Genghis Khan had sent him to "the eastern lands where the white-skinned crow-people live".

Nygren - Sir, he was primitive, sir!

HCM - You said it, not me. Anywway, he did say that it was a smart idea to give commanders there own horses to ride around the battlefield on. We adapted it to the 20th century, and gave them cars. Now, our troops are much better organized. I would have thanked the Mongolian, but he died when he licked at an electrical socket in the wall. He is burried on the pet cemetery down the road, if you're intereseted into visiting his grave.
*looks at watch* Let's take a lunch break. Meet me here in an hour. Cabinet dismissed.
 
Is that mongolian.... late?


Oh, and good old Ernst Wigforss, I used to make fun of him (and other cabinet members) in 'The tale of the cucmber land', ah the days, the days...
 
HCM - Dearest members of the new cabinet. You have been selected from the top notch socialists and communists of history, and been given places in my... I mean, the people's cabinet.
As the foreign minister, we have the man with the revolution, the Russian with the dream, mr Bolshevik himself. Put your hand together for Lenin!

*cabinet cheers and goes wild*

Lenin - The Internationale Unites the human race, comrades!

HCM - Replacing Wigforss, the new armanents minister is the man with the beard, the father of modern socialism, give a warm welcome to Carl Marx!

*cheers*

Marx - Proletarians in all countries, unite!

HCM - As the joint minister of intelligence and security, we have the Asian with the red banner, the Red Dragon of China, the father of maoism, Mao Zhedung!

*crowd goes wild*

Mao - Thank jo! May oul nation become a glolious one!

HCM - As the chief of staff, we have the Cuban with the cigar. The man with the nukes, the American pain in the butt. Fidel Castro!

*cheers*

Castro - More cigars to Fidel!

HCM - And, as the minister of the army and the navy, we have our own favorite guerilla leader, the Argentinian revolutionary, the man with the dream: Ché Guevarra

*cheers*

Guevarra - Hastra la victoria siempre!

HCM - And finally, as the leader of the communists in Ugelsthan, please welcome the world famous Baliban!

*crowd looks confused, and speaks amongst themselves*

HCM - Oh! Come on! Baliban! You guys know who I am talking about!

*the crowd gives a mixed answer of "no"*

HCM - Fine then, Guevarra can take the airforce too.

*cheers*

Lenin - I would like to say a few words... *dies*

HCM - Ehm... okay... He died. Who did it?

Sköld (old minister) - I didn't...

HCM - You aren't even supposed to be in this room! Anyway, you may become foreign minister again. A crusdaer is always good to have.

Sköld - Thank you sir.

HCM - Now, mumify Lenin and place him on the red square in Moscow.
A few news: We, the Comintern, declared war against Lithuania and Stalin annexed them. Romania gave Stalin Bessarabia, and Stalin gave us Blitz Bombing Doctrine.

*cheers*

HCM - That is all. You are dismissed until later.

Stereotypical television voice - Will Ho Chi Minh succeed in his plans? Will Lenin's murderer be found? Will Stacey declare her love to Ché? Stay tuned, for the next episode of "Sweden - A tale of the People's ScandinaviAAR". Brought to you by Paradox Entertainment.
 
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Picture a perfect little island in an archipleago. This island has several trees on it, and a little red cottage. Outside the cottage, a flagpole stands. The flag raised is the communist flag of Ho Chi Minh's Sweden.
It might look somethign like this: http://www.barkbygg.se/projekt/images/6stor.jpg
Outside the cottage, HoChiMinh sits in a chair, sunbathing. Next to him, Ché Guevarra sits in another chair. From the cottage, Carl Marx comes out carrying two piña coladas with umbrellas and all.

HCM - This is life, isn't it, Ché?

Guevarra - Hastra siempre!

HCM - Indeed.

Marx - Here are your drinks, and complementary packet of peanuts.

HCM - *tastes drink* Not bad, not bad at all.

Guevarra - *leans over to HCM, whispers something*

HCM - Ché says you had a bit to much coconut, but that it was drinkable.

Marx - *smiles, returns to cottage*

HCM - This is life!

A rowing boat comes to the island. Sköld is sitting in it. He doesn't bother to secure the boat, he just jumps ashore and rund up to HoChiMinh.

Sköld - Sir! I have dire news! Hitler annexed Austria, and hen declared war against Poland and the allies!

HCM - Good. Now there will be no one to stop me from taking my rightful ownership of Scandinavia!

Sköld - Waht are your orders?

HCM - Wait and see what Stalin does.

Sköld - Yes sir. *runs bak to boat, rows back to Stockholm*

HCM - Hastra simpre, commandante! Hastra simpre!

Guevarra - *smiles, nods and takes a drink of his piña colada.*

OOT: ww2 came a year late... Hitler just can't make up his mind, can he?
 
I can't see the pics.

But great AAR you got going there.
 
Wierd... you should be able to see them. I can see them in both Opera and Firefox...

EDIT: Now the images are links instead. Can you see them now?
 
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12:30, HoChiMinh's new palace*, outside Stockholm

*http://www.soteria.com/home/2001/castle.jpg <- Picture ! ^^

HCM is sitting in front of a huge television scene watching a soap opera in Swedish, when suddently, his two ministewr Sköld and Mao comes walking in.

Sköld - Sir! We have a serious problem at hand.

HCM - Yes, yes. Well solve it! Emma is just about to tell Hans about her unanswered love, and her baby...

Mao - But please, sil, Stalin has made his decision...

HCM - ...and the fact that she really is a man...

Sköld - Sir!

HCM - ...and the king of Afghanistan, and that she killede Veronica... bla bla bla...

Sköld - *turns of TV*

HCM - Wtf r u doin'!

Sköld - Listen up! Stalin convinced Finland into giving him his provinces. Thus, there will be no winter war!

HCM - So? Declare war anyway!

Mao - Sir... Gelmany might intelvene.

HCM - Then we'll take a chance! Send Finland the war declaration.

Sköld - Right away, sir!

--

Two days later, same palace, other room, this one without television, but with a huge table with a map or Europe on it. A lot of people are moving toys depicting tanks and infantry and stuff around, to simulate the current standing in the war. HCM, Ché Guevarra, Sköld, and Mao is standing by the end of the table depicting Finland.

HCM - Let's move into Åland. It's undefended, and our motorized divisons will get their faster than the Finish infantry will.

Guevarra - *nods*

Mao - Sil! I think it would be wise to stay put aftel that, since Finland will put tloops in Tulku, and that plovince is well defended.

HCM - Yes... That might be correct. Sköld? How have the outside world reacted?

Sköld - They haven't, sir. Hitler decided Finland was unimportant, Churchill said that he was busy drinking brandy and smoking at hte expense of his people and had no time to save Finland. The French said something weird in French and dropped me off the Eiffel Tower.

HCM - Why aren't you dead?

Sköld - By a sick twist of fate, somebody had put a huge stockpile of pillows under the tower.

HCM - *looking into the sky* Why do you hate me!? Why?! Oh, why?!

Ché Guevarra - *pointing at Finish Lapland*

Mao - Ché seems to think that we should move oul tloops into the nolth of Finland, and attack from thele.

HCM - Yes, why that's really smart! Thank you, Ché.

Ché Guevarra - Hasta la victoria simpre!

HCM - Yeah!
 
Sköld - Sir! Bad news!

HCM - What now?

Sköld - It seems that the French were declaring war against us when they dropped me off the tower.

HCM - No shit!

Sköld - Yes. So now we are at war with the allies...

HCM - Let's hope Hitler beats them to a bloddy pulp then.

TV voice again - What will happen? Can HoChiMinh gamble the gamble, and win a war against the allies? Will Hitler beat Churchill to a bloddy pulp? Will Sköld ever loose his virginity? All this and much more, in the next installment. Stay tuned!
 
Imagine you're watching a movie. The camera flies over a tall castle in the Swedish alps outside Stockholm. The castle has many towers, and the tallest one literally towers ( :rofl: ) above the rest. The camera focuses on this tall tower and slowly zooms. A small detail is beginning to beocme visible. First it looks like a really weird flag, but eventually it become clear that it really is something quite else: it is the wannabe-Stalin of Sweden, HoChiMinh, holding his foreign minister Sköld by his ankle outside a window in the castle.

HCM - What do we say?

Sköld - I am sorry!

HCM - And?

Sköld - It will never happen again, I promise!

HCM - Good. I would've dropped you, but once again there is no replacement for my ministers. You're a lucky man!

Now, you might wonder why this happened. The reason is simple: there was no war against the allies, Sköld screwed up. :rolleyes:
 
Helsinki, 1940

HCM is riding into town in a tank. Ché Guevarra and Sköld sits next to him in the tank. They drive up to the Finish parliament building. The Finish ministers and president is standing outside. HCM aims his cannon at them.

HCM - Good evening Gentlemen...

Finish government (chorus) - ...all you base are belong to us.

HCM - As a matter of fact, yes. Anyway, I hereby congratulate you at becoming a part of Sweden. Congratulations.

Finish (ex)president - Yeah, yeah, spare us your speeches and get over it. What do you want?

HCM - You're annexed.

President - Very funny. Haha.

HCM - Seriously! You are annexed.

President - Oh... That is a bad thing, right.

HCM - For you, yes. You are liberal conservative... wait a minute! How can you be liberal and conservative at the same time?

President - We couldn't decide.

HCM - What?! You know what? You just got yourself a trip to the Prison for People Who Happens To Think Differently.

President - Okey. Sounds nice.

HCM - *slaps hand to forehead, looks at sky* What have I ever done to you?

God - *laughs merrily at HCM*

And so it was, Finland got annexed by Sweden, and troops were moved towards the next goal: Norway.
 
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