The adventure of the last Romans

[ShepherdOfCats]

Started the story on Steam discussion boards but I thought it might be appreciated more here. Someone requested I turn it into an AAR:

So I created a Hellenic Roman adventurer . . .
I chose the hardest start, with no followers.

No one trusts him. Everyone hates him. But he's handsome, and lustful, just so he can get a chance with the ladies.

His first two companions are a hideous Lombard who got a nickname "the Hideous" almost immediately after he joined, and a fat, naked Rabbinic Ashkenazi who is losing -1.00 prestige per month because he has 'no raiment.'

This is going to be quite an adventure.

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Steam Community: Crusader Kings III.

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Steam Community :: Screenshot

Steam Community: Crusader Kings III.

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[ShepherdOfCats]

Well, that guy died two years into the run. Wild beast of some sort during an event, but it was a meme-worthy crew of rejects and it felt more like a traveling circus than a band of true Romans trying to keep the old traditions alive.

2nd attempt is going better. Found a girl in a tavern. Failed the cheesy pick-up line. Checked her religion and culture and it seems the game generated her to be Roman and Hellenic. Wow. I found the only other person in Italy it seems who still stays true to the old ways.

So I failed the RNG check, but then I got curious when she didn't 'disappear without a trace.' So, I pinned her to my character list. Tracked her as she moved around from town to town, but I never was able to interact with her (it always said she was 'too far away' even though I followed her). [yeah, I know, this is some creepy stalker sh**, but I wanted to know if there was a chance it might work out somehow]

So I caught up with her on the other side of the Adriatic sea, somewhere in Croatia. I tried again to visit the tavern, and there's 'no hottie at the bar option'. I'm about ready to give up, but I go to hire some recruits, and there she was, willing to be hired on. 83 gold. Ouch, that was almost everything I had on me.

So, I'm broke but I've now got the paranoid, sadistic, fickle, intelligent, strong woman of my dreams.

It's the first step to restoring Rome.

 

[ShepherdOfCats]

One problem I'm running into is that I can't seem to get my followers to have kids. I'm assuming there's a fertility penalty as is the case with courtiers.

It'll be hard to raise up an army of Roman brats.

Oh and I was able to 'request' my new wife to give me back my gold. -40 opinion per request but she likes me. I can't romance her though because apparently 'paranoid dislikes lustful' and well, she's paranoid. But I somehow managed to befriend her with a 5% success chance. About the only way to befriend someone who is paranoid is through events, usually, so I'm pretty sure I experienced an RNG-miracle.

The family so far:

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Steam Community: Crusader Kings III.

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[ShepherdOfCats]

Got the family up to 12 members. 7 kids of my own from age 17 to newborn. My wife has twins at 45. Literally just made the deadline. My son marries his childhood crush, who I educated away from Catholicism, and the two of them have my first grandson. But then. . .

Funny thing about camps, the plagues are not so obvious. Apparently the helpful alert that shows when the realm is being ravaged by a plague is not reliable, or maybe just because there is no realm.

Wandered into a bit of measles. Every other child dies including the twins and my son's son. I guess I didn't really need two 'eccentric' sons. My physician is a Catholic witch, who finally gets lots of practice and becomes 'excellent.' But my sadistic wife wants to murder him, apparently because he failed to treat half the family.

My personal preference is setting plagues to 'rare.' Still . . . Gonna have to be more vigilant about checking that epidemic overlay.

 

[ShepherdOfCats]

The family tree (or what's left of it )

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Steam Community: Crusader Kings III.

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I met another Hellenic Roman on my travels, She's young and shrewd. Looks like I have a concubine!

 

[ShepherdOfCats]

So, this is going to end with a game-breaking bug.

I was offered a chance to support a faction against none other than the pope. I was offered the duchy of Latium as part of the deal (very nice!), but when I pressed the claim, the Pope agreed to it (I guess due to him being frail and having 260% faction strength against him once I joined), and now . . .

I'm completely unlanded. Not even a camp. It says I have no heir. I have no titles to my name. I can "invite [myself] to court" but it doesn't do anything. The pope still has his capital but the other counties in Latium are independent of him. I appear to have been suckered out of my reward.

So, if you're given an option to join a faction and be given titles, don't accept it. I don't know if this is specifically against the pope himself, or what, but be very careful.

Partly my own fault. I should probably not have been playing on ironman so soon after a new update.

 

[Chac1]

Hoping you try again @ShepherdOfCats . Better luck in your next playthrough. Next time, feel free to post your art and screenshots within the AAR. You might cast about in this subforum and elsewhere too regarding AAR styles. New AAR writers are always welcome.

 

[HistoryDude]

It's too bad that your first attempt failed. Your party then looked like a font of interesting tales.

The woman has many reasons to be paranoid. Medieval Europe was very Christian - they would not hesitate to persecute her. Maybe she worries that your adventurer was merely looking for a chance to betray her? She doesn't know that his religion is true, either, so he could be trying to get close to her by saying that he follows the old gods (and his stalking wouldn't help).

Nice work creating a family and even defeating the Pope, even bugs ruined the run!

Excellent tale!