I've written a thing, consider this a part one, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! Please tell me I'm posting in the right place.
Alaric gazed outside the large window, fields of green greeted his wandering eyes with a reminder, a reminder of the vast beauty of his people, the Vulpine race. He was to be the next Lord Commander of the Holy Vulpine Order, chosen by the grand council of the priesthood, he was elected to lead his people into the next age, he was to be the first person in Vulpine history to spread outside not only the fatherland of Fonata, but to leave the Lupus system altogether.
“Many fear that leaving our most sacred of borders will result in problems with outside forces,”
“Admiral, what an honor to be visited in such a personal place as my chambers.”
Grand Admiral Oren Frila, recently appointed by Alaric, the Grand Admiral is the third most powerful being in the order, behind the council of high priests and the Lord Commander himself.
Alaric turned around, meeting the warrior’s cheerful obsidian eyes, in those eyes he saw a fantastic spark, the Admiral was always thinking, strategizing, his decision to appoint him to Grand Admiral was met with no shortage of controversy, “He is too young, inexperienced.” was the common mantra.
“This visit is for business, unfortunately.” His voice was filled with a soft regret
“Is it the Linacoreians?” The Vulpine’s humorous tone broke into a decisive seriousness.
The Linacore republic once shared half of Fonata with the order, both governments couldn’t have been farther apart, the order respected strength, unity and faith to the divine, the republic held no god, cared not for strength, but for art, a moral democracy in every way. These two ideologies inevitably clashed, and on 2030 the great purge of Fonata had begun, the republic believed that war should be solely defensive, their strategy was that of a hardened shell.
Waves of power smashed upon the unyielding rocks of the pacifists, in the end it was a stalemate, while the order had the advantage in weaponry, the republic held the advantage in defence.
Arrogance, it was arrogance that ultimately defeated the Linacore republic, it was by the mistake of one commander that won the war, his name is even kept in reverence as the vulp who delivered victory to the great order. Commander Armon Hison growing impatient with the war, he decided to attempt a pitched battle on the order, he lead half of his army to an ambush, a token force was to keep the enemy busy while the main body charged for the barely defended cities, the fool found fleets descending from the sky and obliterating the helpless souls underneath, only a month later the republic was pushed out of not only the planet, but the entire system as well.
“My lord, you know better than any other that the Linacore are broken, even if what was left of them managed to find a habitable planet to live on, they would be far too small to compete with us,”
“I remember the day they were pushed out of the system, over fifty years ago, I was a mere pup, so full of love for my people, so full of a eagerness to serve my nation, I remember when I would bow to Lord Commander Jon, now the world bows to me. Alaric’s voice held a deep mixture of pride, anger, and nostalgia, a side of the great lord he has only ever shown to Oren, the closest thing he had to family.
Alaric briskly walked to his comm link, authority in each step.
“Officer Chime, come in,”
A female’s voice replied to the commander’s demand, the voice was slightly deep but unmistakably feminine, it was filled with a hard loyalty, determination.
“Lord commander, this is Chief Science officer Chime reporting in, the ship is prepared and the crew is ready, willing, and very excited to start the expedition into unknown space!”
“That’s what I like to hear, officer Chime you may depart on your quest, be careful, we don’t know what xeno filth may be waiting outside the gates, may the divine fox guide you,”
“Thank you my lord, may the divine fox guide you.”
Chime glanced outside the rear window of the science ship Hope, Fonata was beautiful from both space and land. The vessel slowly passed several mining stations and vehicles, two corvettes fly by both of Hope’s wings, despite her fierce protests that a military escort would only waste resources and slow the operation down, she got one anyway.
Chime is young, the youngest science officer in the order, 22 years of age to be specific, she managed to piss off more than a couple people with her appointment as head science officer in charge of outside expedition, but the lord commander saw something in her, possibly himself.
“Sir, we are in range to activate the Warp engine,”
“Thank you ensign, let us be off, to the new world.”
The ensign quickly barked the orders to his subordinates, lights flashed and bells ringed, without much delay the three ships disappeared from the Lupus system.
The first thing the Vulpine crew men noticed was the star, standing in the center of this new space, it was like nothing they have ever seen before, it was a beautiful fiery blue.
Several small planets littered the star’s orbit, from the naked eye they mostly shared a brownish, rock like coloring.
The Comm’s light came to life as the helmsmen gently placed his finger on the button.
“Hope to command, this is captain Loarald Hikin, we have successfully left the Lupus system and entered into unknown territory,”
“Command to Hope, what will you call this system?”
The Captain turned around in his chair, looking at Chime directly with a great smile on his face.
“Well chief, it’s your mission.”
Chime walked slowly over to the comm, adding force to it’s button she sputtered out
“Linacore,”
“Interesting name.” stated the captain
“Blue is their color, if the star was purple I would gladly name it after the order,”
“Your mission, you take the heat, I don’t think lord commander Alaric Oreshad would be very happy,”
“Please, let us begin the survey.”
It took in all about 30 or so minutes to fully survey all planets in the sector, most of them were toxic and molten, completely uninhabitable, however they were still useful, toxic worlds brought chances of study, an improved understanding of the different types of worlds in the galaxy, the molten worlds had many precious minerals and pockets of energy within their tough grounds.
The only possibly habitable planet was a arid ball of bland rock, merly 20 percent, not enough to properly colonize.
Reports were sent, cheers were made and construction ships reached the sector, a frontier outpost would be quickly made as to immediately exploit the system’s resources.
Several other science vessels were sent in every direction, the government wanted to take hold of as much space as possible.
Alaric gazed outside the large window, fields of green greeted his wandering eyes with a reminder, a reminder of the vast beauty of his people, the Vulpine race. He was to be the next Lord Commander of the Holy Vulpine Order, chosen by the grand council of the priesthood, he was elected to lead his people into the next age, he was to be the first person in Vulpine history to spread outside not only the fatherland of Fonata, but to leave the Lupus system altogether.
“Many fear that leaving our most sacred of borders will result in problems with outside forces,”
“Admiral, what an honor to be visited in such a personal place as my chambers.”
Grand Admiral Oren Frila, recently appointed by Alaric, the Grand Admiral is the third most powerful being in the order, behind the council of high priests and the Lord Commander himself.
Alaric turned around, meeting the warrior’s cheerful obsidian eyes, in those eyes he saw a fantastic spark, the Admiral was always thinking, strategizing, his decision to appoint him to Grand Admiral was met with no shortage of controversy, “He is too young, inexperienced.” was the common mantra.
“This visit is for business, unfortunately.” His voice was filled with a soft regret
“Is it the Linacoreians?” The Vulpine’s humorous tone broke into a decisive seriousness.
The Linacore republic once shared half of Fonata with the order, both governments couldn’t have been farther apart, the order respected strength, unity and faith to the divine, the republic held no god, cared not for strength, but for art, a moral democracy in every way. These two ideologies inevitably clashed, and on 2030 the great purge of Fonata had begun, the republic believed that war should be solely defensive, their strategy was that of a hardened shell.
Waves of power smashed upon the unyielding rocks of the pacifists, in the end it was a stalemate, while the order had the advantage in weaponry, the republic held the advantage in defence.
Arrogance, it was arrogance that ultimately defeated the Linacore republic, it was by the mistake of one commander that won the war, his name is even kept in reverence as the vulp who delivered victory to the great order. Commander Armon Hison growing impatient with the war, he decided to attempt a pitched battle on the order, he lead half of his army to an ambush, a token force was to keep the enemy busy while the main body charged for the barely defended cities, the fool found fleets descending from the sky and obliterating the helpless souls underneath, only a month later the republic was pushed out of not only the planet, but the entire system as well.
“My lord, you know better than any other that the Linacore are broken, even if what was left of them managed to find a habitable planet to live on, they would be far too small to compete with us,”
“I remember the day they were pushed out of the system, over fifty years ago, I was a mere pup, so full of love for my people, so full of a eagerness to serve my nation, I remember when I would bow to Lord Commander Jon, now the world bows to me. Alaric’s voice held a deep mixture of pride, anger, and nostalgia, a side of the great lord he has only ever shown to Oren, the closest thing he had to family.
Alaric briskly walked to his comm link, authority in each step.
“Officer Chime, come in,”
A female’s voice replied to the commander’s demand, the voice was slightly deep but unmistakably feminine, it was filled with a hard loyalty, determination.
“Lord commander, this is Chief Science officer Chime reporting in, the ship is prepared and the crew is ready, willing, and very excited to start the expedition into unknown space!”
“That’s what I like to hear, officer Chime you may depart on your quest, be careful, we don’t know what xeno filth may be waiting outside the gates, may the divine fox guide you,”
“Thank you my lord, may the divine fox guide you.”
Chime glanced outside the rear window of the science ship Hope, Fonata was beautiful from both space and land. The vessel slowly passed several mining stations and vehicles, two corvettes fly by both of Hope’s wings, despite her fierce protests that a military escort would only waste resources and slow the operation down, she got one anyway.
Chime is young, the youngest science officer in the order, 22 years of age to be specific, she managed to piss off more than a couple people with her appointment as head science officer in charge of outside expedition, but the lord commander saw something in her, possibly himself.
“Sir, we are in range to activate the Warp engine,”
“Thank you ensign, let us be off, to the new world.”
The ensign quickly barked the orders to his subordinates, lights flashed and bells ringed, without much delay the three ships disappeared from the Lupus system.
The first thing the Vulpine crew men noticed was the star, standing in the center of this new space, it was like nothing they have ever seen before, it was a beautiful fiery blue.
Several small planets littered the star’s orbit, from the naked eye they mostly shared a brownish, rock like coloring.
The Comm’s light came to life as the helmsmen gently placed his finger on the button.
“Hope to command, this is captain Loarald Hikin, we have successfully left the Lupus system and entered into unknown territory,”
“Command to Hope, what will you call this system?”
The Captain turned around in his chair, looking at Chime directly with a great smile on his face.
“Well chief, it’s your mission.”
Chime walked slowly over to the comm, adding force to it’s button she sputtered out
“Linacore,”
“Interesting name.” stated the captain
“Blue is their color, if the star was purple I would gladly name it after the order,”
“Your mission, you take the heat, I don’t think lord commander Alaric Oreshad would be very happy,”
“Please, let us begin the survey.”
It took in all about 30 or so minutes to fully survey all planets in the sector, most of them were toxic and molten, completely uninhabitable, however they were still useful, toxic worlds brought chances of study, an improved understanding of the different types of worlds in the galaxy, the molten worlds had many precious minerals and pockets of energy within their tough grounds.
The only possibly habitable planet was a arid ball of bland rock, merly 20 percent, not enough to properly colonize.
Reports were sent, cheers were made and construction ships reached the sector, a frontier outpost would be quickly made as to immediately exploit the system’s resources.
Several other science vessels were sent in every direction, the government wanted to take hold of as much space as possible.
