The land of hard cheese or: I´m cheesed of - Switzerland

[Zuckergußgebäck]

POFF!

Zuckergußgebäck stood ontop of a cloud, in front of him was the door to heaven.
The minute before he had (Honestly) asnswered his girlfriends question about how her new bathesuit fitted her, and now he stood here.
A he walked in through the gate he came face to face with no other than: GOD!
- Oh please almighty lord, send me back to the earth that I come from.
- Perhaps, but it is really nice up here you know, free beer and all that...
- But I want to get down there on earth.
- Right, I´ll dump you in a small, poor country somewhere in europe 1936.

Zuckergußgebäck raised an eyebrow

- That sounded complicated. He said.
- Dont worry, you´ll understand.
- OK, but what´s the deal?
- You raise this country to glory and I´ll drop you back in your time
- OK, but, wait! What country is it, luxemburg?
- Bigger
- Brunei?
- Bigger
- Bhutan?
- Bigger
- USA?
- Smaller
- Denmark?
- Bigger
- Liechtenstein?
- Don´t be silly! You know as well as I that that country isn´t playable
- Neither is Brunei...
- Curses!
- Give me a hint
- I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with... S
- Sweden?
- No, you´ve already made an AAR on sweden
- Oh... South africa?
- Nah
- Soviet union?
- It was smaller than the USA
- Saudi arabia?
- Nope
- This is a silly game! What country is it?
- Switzerland
- Oh...
- Now, if you excuse me...
God pulles a leaver and Zuckergußgebäck falls through the air, on his way, he hear wagners rheingold and sees some strange text:

Initializing Sound
Initializing Graphics
Initializing Globals
Reading Scenario
Initializing Script.

CRASH!

Zuckergußgebäck hits the ground at 2098578874943 km/h, leaving a huge crater.
He emmidiately heads of to take his place as head of state...

 

[unmerged(25421)]

Well errrr... this is new.... lol

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

What do you mean by confused ( )?

 

[unmerged(24763)]

Neutral? Nah! The swiss want the whole world at their mercy. If you know what is good for you, you will make a quick ally out of Haiti!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Capitol

Z: Hello, I´ve come to take over the place as head of state, if you do not mind, please move...
Albert Meyer: Right...

Albert Meyer stepped down and headed out the door.

His first act as head of state was to check on how his government was made up.

Aide: And here is the head of government

Zuckergußgebäck looked out over a sea of peple gathered in the palace.

Aide: This is The Federal Councillors
Z: Strange name...
Aide: Nonono, they are many people, all named Karl, this is Karl #1, Karl #2, Karl...

A few minutes later

Aide: And here is the rest of the government:

Foreign minister: Giuseppe Motta
Minister of security: Johannes Baumann
Minister of intelligence: Roger Masson

Aide: Here is the armamants minister

The aide took up a mirror

Z: What?
Aide: What do you see?
Z: Me
Aide: Good
Z: ?????
Aide: You are armaments minister
Z: Am I? Cool!

Muahahahahahahaha

SWOOOSH!

A ghastly, blue shadow was walking through the wall

Z: Who is that?!
Aide: The chief of staff, army, air and navy.
Z:Oh...


Army training grounds

- Look sir! Here comes the army! The aide shouted
A few snails and a few card-board clipouts were marching past.
- Ummm, I think we need to modernize
- But we ain´t got the money
- We can get sponsored
- By whom?
- What about burger king?
- No!
Giuseppe Molta entered

GM: Hello, I bring the most youous news to your court, my emperor, we have found a new, mighty ally
Z: Who?
GM: Haiti
Z: Oh...

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

If anyone wants to become a cameo, just tell me and I´ll try to slide you in.

 

[unmerged(25421)]

If anyone wants to become a cameo, just tell me and I´ll try to slide you in.

wELL I DNT NO WAT A CAMEO IS BUT ID LIKE TO B INCLUDED AND ALSO I THINKSwitzerland, Afghanistan and Haiti should all form an alliance..!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

wELL I DNT NO WAT A CAMEO IS BUT ID LIKE TO B INCLUDED AND ALSO I THINKSwitzerland, Afghanistan and Haiti should all form an alliance..!

Yesyesyes, slow down...
You´ll get your cameo (A cameo is a fancy name ofr beeing a character in the AAR), there might be a problem with that alliance, but then, well see...

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Zuckergußgebäck was enjoying some cocunut cream when he suddenly rushed to his feet, rushed out the door, then rushed back.
Z: I bring the most horrible news, my emperor
(He rushes back to the cream)
Z: Really, what´s the matter?
(Rushing back up)
Z: Our economy has collapsed
(Back to the cream)
Z: What? Not worse! Oh well, just don´t forget to walk the dog!
He leaned beck, beeing both head of state and armaments minister was a tough job

March 8

German soldiers: Hey ho, hey ho, into the rhineland we go, humhumhumhumhumhumhumhum...

March 15

Abdullah(Turkish ambassador): dcbbvbuinerenbbboirhgieugbuvebru vug
Z: ?
A: nsdfregjohepnhpmonhphoinbo
Z: ??
A: snfojiigiegeoigirlgnoighinogohhoiigjthhohihljghtrl
Z: ENTERPRETER!
Enterpreter: Yes?
Z: Enterpret
E: We have ceeded Kars to the soviet union
Z: Oh, ask him to stay for the fondue...

THE FONDUE

Z: Agreed? The first one that drops his bread into the cheese gets ten whacks with the stick, the second time ten lashes by the wip and the third time we´ll throw him in lake Geneva with concrete shoes...
(in short sucession)
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH
SPLASH

July 18

Danioni Sherinami (Spanish ambassador): Greetings, I come to inform you that there is a civil war on in spain.
Z: Oh; ¡Hola! Quiero un aeróstato para comer.
DS: ¿Que?
Z:Yo tengo un piano de cola en mi sombrero
Aide: Sir?
Z: Yes?
Aide: You´ve just informed the spanish ambassador that you want to eat a hot air ballon, and that you have a grand piano in your hat
Z: Ummmm, yes, always loved that hat piano, well see you later, I must go and... practise my hat piano...

November 4

Aide: Greeting, oh higher beeing, we have been informed that the USA wentwith franklin D. Roosevelt in their elections...
Z: Groan...

March 26

Zuckergußgebäck is well... um... having a good time with one of the maids when blue shadow floats through the wall

BS: Hello!
Z: You D**N son of a b**ch, don´t you see I´m busy... ummm practising my hat piano!
BS: Strang shapes, those hat pianos... Anyway, Nationalist spain annexed republican spain
Blue shadow floated back through the wall and Zuckergußgebäck went back to practising his hat piano.

April 7

This time, blue shadow descided to knock before he went in, however, beeing a ghost, his hand went through the door, and he, not constrained by the laws of physics (Not to be confused with Psycics ) followed his hand trough the door.
This time, Zuckergußgebäck wasn´t practising the hat piano, instead he was tinkering with a "bed de luxe" from the swedish company IKEA (Whose furniture is, of course unassemblebal), which,, no doubt was to be used for the hat piano...
BS: Italy annexed Ethiopia
Zuckergußgebäck didn´t care, he was using a hammer in a way it shouldn´t be used, at least not against a "bed de luxe"...

 

[elbasto]

THE FONDUE

Z: Agreed? The first one that drops his bread into the cheese gets ten whacks with the stick, the second time ten lashes by the wip and the third time we´ll throw him in lake Geneva with concrete shoes...

Mmm... this reminds me of Asterix in Helevetia... THOSE ROMANS ARE CRAZY!
(much true in those words)
About the cameo... well, I could play a part.

 

[unmerged(25421)]

I never knew the Soviet Unino had territorial claims on Turky??

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Mmm... this reminds me of Asterix in Helevetia... THOSE ROMANS ARE CRAZY!
(much true in those words)
About the cameo... well, I could play a part.

Actually, that was my inspiration, love that guy with no legs...

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

I never knew the Soviet Unino had territorial claims on Turky??

I´m playing V 1.05c, where SU have a claim on turkey

 

[unmerged(25421)]

So what are your plans for Switzerland..is a peacefull rule of are you going to build an empire with blood and sweat.

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

So what are your plans for Switzerland..is a peacefull rule of are you going to build an empire with blood and sweat.

My economy has collapsed (Mainly because I didn´t posess enough coal or steel to get a good trade deal, at the beginning, I had 63 working industries, now i habe about 14, no rubber, oil or coal, and steel just adding up

 

[Lurken]

OMG, Switzerland. Exactly are you planning to do?

 

[unmerged(25421)]

So...

So were do you go from here. Maybe the Switz minister could be advised by the spanish ambassador to pray for a 100 'event 1013's'
Maybe God will help you as he put you were you were in the first place or ask a little help of the devil to replenish your depleted stores.

 

[Prufrock451]

*bursts in, preceded by approximately a half meter of gold thread*

Mein Herr Federalkanzlprasidentdirektor! I have sorry news to report! In my capacity of Naval Minister, I must insist that we build a navy immediately, as we have no naval strength! Poor Hans has been reduced to mounting sharp sticks on his fishing boat!

*gestures to Hans, sitting forlornly in his boat and blocking the main driveway to the Council building*

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Dont worry, our battleship "Zuckergußgebäck" and the aircraft carrier "Oh higher beeing" is right now beeing tested in lake Geneva...
By the way, who made you chief of navy? i though that was that guy "Blue shadow" that always floats through the wall when I am practising my hat piano...

 

[Prufrock451]

*hangs head contritely* I meant in my capacity as Vice-Minister for the Navy. From time to time, I forget that the Blue Shadow controls my ministry. He floats in during the night and signs papers.