How the War Started
January 1st, 1936- Lhasa
The head of government (I'm too lazy to look up his name) was reclining is his nice easy chair smoking a cigar when the minister of security burst through his door.
Security: "Sir! Did you see Today's headlines?"
Government: "No. Why? Did another yak get caught in the sewer?"
Security: "Take a look at this" (hands him paper)
Government- reads allowed
"TIBET DECLARES WAR ON EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD"- Lhasa
Today Tibetan ambassadors all over the world gave declarations of war to every country in the world. Tibetans everywhere were shocked. Tibet has always been a peaceful country. How will the country's three militia divisions, comprised on monks and yaks be able to stand up to such a challenge? The Dalia Lama, who was especially mad felt the need to express his views on live radio. The broadcast will be at 10 this morning.
Government: And the article goes on for twenty more pages.
Security: What should we do sir?
Government: Turn on the radio. I want to hear the Dalia Lama's opinions of our government.
Security: (turns on radio)
radio: and we now have a special report from Lhasa where the Dalia Lama is going to make a speech.
Dalia Lama: People , it appears we have a problem in our harmonious community. Some bitc-(Ding-dong [doorbellrings])from the government have gotton us into another fuc-(Door bell rings again) war. We must raise up against these basta-(ding-dong ding dong keeps ringing)
Secuirty: (shuts off radio) You should get that. I can't believe the Dailia Lama would use bad language for everone to hear. I mean, he's only eight and he rules the country. He's not a good role model for our country.
Governmen: Yeah.... I'll speak to him later. (Opens the door to fine the Cheif of Army)
Army: Did you see these headlines (hold up paper)
Government: Yeah, we already saw them. Did you hear the Dalia Lama's speech.
Army: Yes. He is a very inspirational speaker, who knows what to say at the right time. (gets teary eyed). He'll drive our troops into battle with his swaying words like shi-
Government: Alright! Alright! So what is our strategy going to be ?
Army: With the whole world at war, I-
Government: WHAT! Whole world at war. When did this happen?
Army: You should have read the paper. Every country declared war on every other one. Oh, but I forgot, you the deluxe head of government "playboy" version of the paper.
Government: (Blushes) Stop that. I can enjoy myself whenever I want without the likes of you bothering me.
Army: Anyway, I came to ask what our strategy was.
Government: Why are you asking me. I'm not the amazing five star general.
Army: Okay okay. I'll draft it with you helping me
Government: we need to get troops to the borders of Bhutan and Nepal to stop them. Send our last corps to the border of China. We'll forget about the SU for now. And then.....
Army: What?
Government: We march to the sea and build ourselves a Tibetan navy. And then.....
One hour later
Army: Come on I have to get this to the war department
Government: I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Ok. and then.........................................
we do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight
Army: (stands up, punches government square in the face and walks out of the room)
ps state of our army (can't post picture)
PPS HOW DO YOU POST SCREENS?
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