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Brandenburg III

A Smooth Operator
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Jun 22, 2007
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We’ve been through all this before in your standard B3 AAR.

Very Hard Difficulty
Land and Sea discoveries are normal
Lucky Nations are Random
No mods
:eek: I think this is the first EU3 AAR I’ve done without mods so we’ll see how it goes

This is my first EU3 AAR in a few years and I haven’t played more than 5 hours of it in more than a year. With that being said, DW is mostly new to me. So we’ll see how this works.


As for Victoria? Steam’s smashing of my pre-AHD game into an AHD game really ruined things for me. So I really don’t think the Russia game will continue. On top of that its tough to get into a game where many of the countries have become so passive, ie USA especially when it comes to Mexico/Texas which means new AARs for that game will be on a serious delay – especially with EU3 MM/DW being worked on… Still waiting for that Victorian patch

As for CKII? I’m trying to finish the current game so I can plow through the AAR and not have to worry about any kind of unforeseen Steam smashing as far as that goes. It shouldn't be much longer now.

This AAR is dedicated to neon lights.

Let’s mush!

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***

Usually I start off these EU3 B3 styled AARs describing the color and size of the country. Instead let’s start off with something a little different.

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If that doesn’t tip you off then its back to Civilization for you!

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And elementary… unless you went to public school in which case, here’s your diploma!

Well, we better get on this horse because there’s an AAR to write and I want to cover at least ten years every update. Twenty if nothing happens at all.

So we started off with a small army and about 10 ships. They look very nice.

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I created two infantry and bumped up my military to 4/1/0, hired a lvl 1 land guy and immediately sent off a colonist to Kola. Upon starting the game I hadn’t expected the province to be available but I’ll curb Muscovy/Novgorod expansion whenever I can. In addition this does mean I now have two colonies running – one granted at the start within Sweden – so I had to cut colony upkeep a little. But I never reduce it to the point where I lose colonists. That’s just silly.

I have also decided to remain within the PU with Denmark until I’m ready to go on my own. This means I want to turn those colonies into cities, build up both my army and navy, have a positive stability and a workable economy. I’m not in a hurry considering how much land you can eat up in EU3. Understanding that, I moved +1 Quality – lost a stability point (0) – and my colony successfully landed in Kola in December 1399.

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By 1402 my stability had increased back to +1 and my colony in Kola had advanced to the point where it founded fur.

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Another string of years passed with my stability rising to +2, gaining +1 tax base in Finland, Novgorod annexing Muscovy, and a raise in Government Tech through popup. Government has always been my favorite thing to invest in.

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Yup, even more fun than investing in a new computer.

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Kola became a city in 1408 while I gained full stability in early 1409. Then because Scandinavia was getting boring, Denmark declared war on the TO in the middle of the year. Of course I went along with it because war taxes aren’t going to raise themselves… and I’m definitely not raising my military maintenance sliders. Colonies, walls and boots all cost money.

To help raise this money?

National Bank!

Yes!

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I usually end up having manpower problems at some point, at least when I played this game before – and when I did before it was always exclusively MM – but you can’t have the military if you don’t have the money. Plus I’m sure the vanilla game is much easier than MM ever was, so, there’s that.

And there’s the first ten years. Now I think its time for a rest.

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It makes you wonder, well, not so much as wonder as it flat out tells you where the real entitlement culture lies ;)

By the beginning of 1410 the Teutonic Order had found itself in a bit of trouble.

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I’m sure they’ll be fine. While at the same time my monarch, or Denmark’s, went insane. Since I’m in a Personal Union shouldn’t this affect Denmark more than it does me? After all, I’m not technically the central authority even if I am the center of everyone’s universe.

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Yup, be careful of where you post your pictures because found art is still legal to use in certain ways… even if I don’t think it is real art but its still a great law to (ab)use whenever you can.

1411 I established a new fort in Kola, pushed my slider to +1 Quality because that’s just one more way to keep Communism away and, oh how nice, Norway began colonizing that other weirdly named province for me.

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By the end of the same year the TO had to release Mazovia, end their vassalization of Riga and Pskov and cede Gotland to The Hansa. I suppose things didn’t work out so well for them after all. I’m going to need a new set of Tarot Cards.

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With TO weakened Denmark followed the previously paved way into the Baltic arena toward the beginning of 1412. Aside from that, here’s 1413! I gave MA to Norway and Novgorod because when I break free I don’t want Novgorod stabbing me in the back and I granted fur trade rights to the Hansa. That’s right, they can have all the old people they can handle. And I’ve got plenty… by old I mean anyone over the age of 24.

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Toward the end of 1414 Osterbotten became a full city, relieving me of all my colony building duties. Because of the National Bank I’m making .20 ducats a month and a total of 46.78 at year’s end. I’m going to finish building up my forts (2 more) and then build up my army. See, sometimes its best to not rush in.

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Oh, Chandler. You used to be funny. What happened…

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Oh, right. At least someone is having good luck.

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About a year and a half into the war Denmark and TO came to terms with Denmark taking Kurland, Memel, Warmia and Samogita. In spite of Denmark growing I saw this as a great thing. It means Denmark’s troops will likely be fragmented which will mean they’ll be easier to pick off. Provided my ships aren’t smashed against the rocks.

Through the next few years I began working on an army in my capital after completing an armory there. Then in 1418 I dissolved my alliance with Denmark, preparing for independence. Let’s face it, their monarch has been living a while and I’m almost ready to go out on my own. I’d rather break out a little early unprepared than sit around waiting for another twenty years. And let’s not forget whose writing this AAR.

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By the end of the year I had lowered relations with Denmark to -142 – just to be safe – and lost a stability point through event, knocking me down to +2.

By 1420 I had created a lvl 2 Gov’t advisor and found some way to become embargoed by Novgorod. On the plus side of things, my army was maxed out at 6/7/0. There doesn’t seem to be a cavalry penalty in vanilla which is cool. But I’m not going to be one of those people who abuses it throughout the game. There are plenty of other things I can pick on.

Through 1420 Poland signed peace with the Golden Horde at 13 tribute each month, Connaught was annexed by England – I hired their lvl 1 land and lvl 4 inflation because of it so in a way, Ireland isn't dead... yet – and Denmark declared war on the TO again. I hope their leader dies, the inglorious bastard.

Then in October… the Personal Union ended. Our new leader was Erik XIII Something and he wasn’t great but he was definitely a something.

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That’s right, folks. The training wheels are off!

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If you guys keep that up I’m going to start asking for a monthly sacrifice.

blsteen: Only Northern Europe?

Omen: I try… Oh, wait, I don’t… still, its good to have you along :D

Poulern: We can only hope.

I’ve noticed something new in the forums the last few weeks and that was Paradox’s new add on for CKII. The Aztec thing. Like them I was just as surprised people were getting upset about it. We’ve known P’dox has been going down the fantastical and sandboxy road for a while. If you were going to get ****y about it, you should’ve done it between EU 2 and 3. You do it now and you’re just five years too late. My only real gripe with EU II – at the time before new innovations were brought in – was the cartoony map they had. I always thought the Animaniacs were going to peep around the corner any minute.

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With my newfound independence I immediately began sending out alliance offers. Brandenburg rejected mine twice but the messengers made up for it by bringing me both England and Castille. Castille would end up going to war against the Mamlukes four days after the agreement was signed. Thanks guys.

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Oh, and I instituted Finnish Cavalry which results in a 5% cost reduction on cavalry.

I ultimately decided to help Castille because it was late November and war taxes were calling my name. But this would be a passive war for me. Castille and Sweden v. Mamlukes and Algiers.

Strange, whenever I write ‘Algiers’ it always makes me think of old movies and songs. A weirdly romanticized version of North Africa.

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By year’s end a merchant died leaving 28 ducats. Its seriously too easy to make money in DW. So far between these events and creating ‘Great Men’ and letting other nations buy them, you should never have to worry about going broke.

With 1421 on the horizon Mazovia declared war on TO. Yeah, they were that weak. A week and a half later Novgorod and TO signed a treaty with Novgorod taking Estland – not good. Then I got tired of waiting and declared war on Denmark on January 18. To my surprise both Castille and England came along for the ride. Sweden*, England and Castille v. Denmark, Norway, Brandenburg and Tequila.

Denmark signed a white peace with the Order almost immediately and in early February Holstein Nationalists broke out in Denmark. Denmark’s way home is going to be a bloody one.

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By the middle of the year I had destroyed Norway’s troops in Scandinavia

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and I took Norway’s Lappland colony which had 665 pop. Its always great capturing a colony, although I’d prefer to go somewhere a little father.

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“Norm!”

“I need a beer, Sammy.”

“Uh, my name isn’t Sammy. Its Brandenburg III. B3 if you’re nasty.”

“Sam, please.”

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“Beer was actually –“

“Guys! Stop!”

One mention of going to a far off land then we end up in a Cheers plot. At least you’re not going to see any My Little Pony around here.

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The fantasy of every My Little Pony guy? Yup! I’m only generalizing because its true.

Get out of here, I’m not going to subject you to that kind of torture. In my AARs we don’t play with dolls or watch shows meant for little girls. The farthest we go is Batman the Animated Series and that’s only when its 4 am and the vodka is in full effect.

In the last game shot you’d have seen a Danish trooper walking around my home but by late August they were destroyed so all was quiet on all fronts, especially considering the help I received from England’s navy.

Throughout the rest of the year there was relatively little going on. I laid siege to Halland, white peaced with the Mamluks and Pommerania took Danzig from TO. Pom may not be destined to expire so soon.

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Through 1422 the TO collapsed after their bankruptcy, I took Norway’s capital and Danish peasants really ruined Denmark’s day. Not to worry, I’m sure the sun will come out (all together now!) "Tomorrow"

Toward the end of the year I was handed the comet event. Now with four choices? I don’t see how one comet can scare an entire nation with tons of land. This was the reason I convinced spl to take it out of the American Enhancment Mod – located in my inkwell ;)

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Stability was knocked back down to +1 after reaching +2 the previous month. And France also declared war on England but I didn’t want any part of that. No mas, no mas.

1423 I occupied Skane then went into 1424 moving a slider +1 Quality. I lost 2000 manpower but I’m still up +7672 in my reserves. By the end of the first month of the year Danish peasants had occupied the Danish capital and I was doing alright.

Peace came at the end of the month with me taking Halland, Halogaland, Jamtland and Skane. The next day I accepted Danish culture. What waits for me on 2 February? Nothing.

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By June of the same year Novgorod lifted their embargo and I had Lappland fully colonized. Let’s fort this thing! But first, let’s war TO. All I really want is Osel. Sweden v. Brandenburg and TO. Within the next month Hungary, Pskov and Pommerania would all join the TO cause. Then Novgorod embargoed me again… The thing is really starting to get annoying and repetitive and if it weren’t so important, I would’ve blocked it by now.

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I know, I seem to have stumbled into gif world.

But that didn’t stop my march. By the end of the year I had knocked out both TO and Pskov armies, forcing Pskov to become a vassal and convert! ****ed heathens.

Meanwhile I replaced England with Gelre. I declined Gelre two or three times before but on the last attempt I actually went to see how they were doing. Not bad. And, nobody else really wanted me.

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The war? Here it is at 1426.

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Through 1426 and 1427 I occupied the TO capital, signed a white peace with Hungary and Poland joined the fun by also declaring war on TO. Toward the end of 1427 Gelre declared war on Flanders while Gelre was occupied by Austria – again, no thanks – and by February 1428 peace came to me in the form of Osel, 25 ducats and the renouncing of a few cores. BB? 14.09/14.17 Its always fun to play with fire but it’s a shame there isn’t a Framed event to keep you on your toes.

As our decade ended Poland made TO a vassal, Novgorod proclaimed they were defenders of the faith and Mormon nationalists rose up. Sweet!

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I really gotta question his arms. I thought only Robin Williams was that hairy.

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Though I guess back in the day they were called Muromian. Those crazy Old English spellings.
 
Yes! There is hope for Russia yet! Maybe by the 22nd century she’ll actually be able to walk on her hind legs!

So its been about a month but to be fair I’ve subscribed to the Axl Rose Standard of Updating. You can surprisingly get very little done without Slash around. Under that plan you also gain a little weight…

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…then again, it could just be the holidays.

Anyway, you do NOT want to know where I’ve been… however, if you’re willing to pay $4.99 a minute I’ll tell you.

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Yup, you Europeans get screwed over again cause the 4.99 USD is gonna be the same in whatever the **** you guys use over there. Don’t you wish your country was going down the drain?

I can’t remember if I covered 1429 or not so we’ll revisit it. To keep Castile in my alliance I had to help them out after they found themselves in trouble. I was hoping to not have to worry about English warships. Portugal and Scotland v. Castille, Sweden and Pskov. Turns out England was smart enough to avoid confrontation with the mighty Swede.

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July came around, offering me an opportunity to hire a 6 star Master of Mint. I couldn’t resist so I hired the one I had sitting there and brought on that beast. The year ended with construction of a dock beginning in the capital.

Through 1430 Denmark was again under duress when The Hansa brought her boys to party. Hansa, Bremen, Luneburg, Madgeburg and Oldenburg v. Denmark, Norway, Brandenburg and Tequila. By the end of that year Lithuania was beginning to be eaten up by the Golden Horde but I made an alliance with her anyway. Having someone else on the other side of a growing Novgorod isn’t a bad idea. An army of barbies sealed the deal.

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1431 was a busy year for Northern Europe. I signed a white peace with Portugal ending my war with them early on and began constructing constables everywhere. Midway through the year Castille took both Fife and Aberdeen from Scotland.

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I’m sure that won’t cause problems.

Six days after that event Poland and Novgorod came to terms with Novgorod releasing Finland, ending vassal status over Yaroslavl and Tver and ceding Partium. At the end of the year I even took Osel out of the HRE. I’m still not used to those decision buttons.

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Early April my stability was bumped up again thanks in part to my MM. Unfortunately, later in 1431 a Regency Council took over. The stats weren’t bad but it meant the fun was over for a little while. At the end of the year I began constructing 5 cavalry units taking me up to my total max army count of 18 regiments.

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Through the rest of the years, at least until 1437 relatively little happened. Castile and Portugal eventually came to terms

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and England went to war with Scotland.

Through 1437 Castile and Mamluks agreed to peace, ending our war... and war taxes. Castille ended up taking three coastal provinces while in Eastern Central Europe Hungary was being eaten alive.

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Over the next few years I continued taking it easy letting the nations around me cause one another trouble. I placed my sliders so I’d reach -.10 inflation each year while Denmark went bankrupt and Novgorod declared war upon Finland, bringing upon her the ire of Eastern Europe (Poland, Riga, Venice, Savoy, Brandenburg, Silesia, Teutonic Order and Lithuania)… so at least that’ll be fun to watch. The lesson today? Never invade Finland if you’re on her eastern side.

Toward the end of 1439 Hansa and Denmark signed peace, Denmark ceding two provinces. I want Gotland... its an island and in the Baltic. This will cause problems.

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While I don’t like other powers to gain too much power, Denmark is closer and she’ll be more fun to pick apart for now.

And we’ll end it here. Ten is always a nice number to end it on. But not as nice as 25. Those curves!

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Although I best be careful about these strange attractions lest I morph into Robert Crumb.
 
If your talking about the little k been their no short time.
glad your back keep it up.
 
ATBKING: I’ve even tried telling them to give me their land but that doesn’t work either.

blsteen: I’d use real barbies but I think Paradox would frown on that since they think this is a family forum. :p

dragonizer: Its always something.

To all: Actually my ISP has been giving me a lot of problems over the last while. If you ever hear of a buckeye company service in Ohio stay far, far away. By far the worst company of any kind I’ve come across.

****


If I had a pit bull I would name it Michael Vick.

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Ah yes, it took a little time but I’m finally back for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately I’m momentarily blind so take that for what its worth. However I can say that I’m still playing and for the next half hour I’m writing and cropping pics so you’ll have at least 300 more words to chew on until my next post.

It didn’t take long inside the new decade before I was finally gifted a new ruler. Although what he ruled with a stat no higher than 5 I’ll never know. But it does sound like he’d be qualified to run most modern Western countries. As long as he brings along a decent earl, I won’t mind.

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Later in the year Lithuania and Novgorod signed peace with Novgorod having to pay 42 ducats and annulling their treaty with Byzantium. Meanwhile Portugal also lost against England. I’m beginning to remember why I never played EU3 vanilla.

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And I really don’t care for the Hoard system at all.

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A bountiful harvest followed in ’41 – Ukraine eat your heart out – and Novgorod was easily dismantled by the Austrian alliance later in the year. Not coincidentally I also declared war… against Norway. Denmark & Norway v. Sweden, Lithuania, Pskov and Castille… Denmark’s other allies bailed.

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Ten days into the war – 16 December – Denmark’s capital was

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By the middle of 1442 I had occupied Denmark’s capital. The real fun didn’t begin until early 1443 when England joined in, declaring war on Norway. But this wouldn’t impact my war so much.

Throughout the war I was totally like

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After taking another round of war taxes, I signed a peace treaty with Denmark on 4 January 1444. I “liberated” Norway’s Finnmark and Eidsiva, forced them to renounce cores they had in my territory and had Denmark release both Kourland and TO – both OPMs.

Sure, Finnmark and Eidsiva aren’t the best choices for using up my BB but having Finnmark up there was really starting to annoy me.

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Even more fun, Kourland accepted to become my vassal late in the year! See, even my subpar leader can do things… well, some things.

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By 1445 Denmark had to cede both Slesvig and Jylland to England. That ought to be fun to have them around.

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1446 was another lackluster year with Lithuania declaring war against GH. Meanwhile GH has eaten Nizny and is about ready to consume Murom.

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By the end of the decade Lithuania was paying 11 ducats per month to GH, Georgia had become a vassal of GH and my heir got sick and died. Good! I don’t need anyone to remind me of my own mediocrity.

As the 1450’s started – yes, I’m doing two ten year updates today – my statesman died. Luckily I can be as gamey as the game and I instantly created a level 3 reputation guy from my magistrates and hired him… after I fired my 1 star rep guy already there. Toward the end of the 1451 I had begun to build 6 galleys in order to take Gotland.

By the start of 1452 the Mamluks declared war on Castille. I hopped along the line for the war taxes. But it is a large war… Mamulks, OE, Bosnia, Serbia and Delhi v. Castille, Austria, Urbino, Brandenburg, Silesia, Sweden, Kurland and Pskov. Also of note, Austria is at war with Bohemia, Lithuania, Hesse and the Golden Horde. This should be interesting. But I broke free of that mess by 1453.

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During 1455 Denmark was down to a single province, Novgorod annexed Riga – after Riga declared war – and then Novgorod went to war against Finland. Poland, Finland, Tequila and Saxe-Luneburg v. Novgorod, Byzantium and Wallachia. I did consider aiding the Fins but considered something else instead.

By the end of 1456 Novgorod had annexed Finland… also Austria, Brandenburg, Venice all threw their weight to aid Poland against Novgorod.

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Early 1457 Mamluks made peace with Castille renouncing a few cores and releasing all their Funj!

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On the same day the French king died and

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This does mean I’m at war with England however since I can’t directly control French troops I’m going to put an end to that. I had considered continuing the war but France wasn’t up for it… and neither was I. So I signed a peace a few days later giving England Normandie. Really, there was too much of a naval difference.

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Halfway through the year I received another gift when the Pope excommunicated the Hansa. Of which England immediately took advantage of by declaring war against the evil doers.

And I’ll end it here on the birth of 1458 before I get too involved in something else.

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Dragonizer: Loki and the Hulk? What are you talking about? That’s obviously Sweden and Denmark.

***

I’ve been away for a little while mainly due to a terrible new illness: Changnesia. It’s a new illness and as far as I know there isn’t a cure… people aren’t even talking about it. So this is your public service announcement to get the word out.

I also discovered during these times that I’m missing a few years from the notes I have. Only a few so we’ll start in 1480. Surprisingly the pics still stand so we’ll go from there.

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For some reason I didn’t take a shot of the money chart… or maybe its because I have such a great master of mint guy.

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Through the intervening years Portugal had been reduced until the Moops finally recovered some lost ground in early 1480. Who knows if they’ll be able to hold onto it? Probably not.

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Early 1481 I created a fort in the Canaries. At this point I had decided that I would rather colonize Africa rather than heading off to the warzone that will be in the Americas where all nations converge.

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It would also be much easier to expand…

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… in Africa.

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Better.

Over the following months within 1481 Lithuania lost to both the Golden Hoard – renouncing a vassal – and Poland – renouncing some land.

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And really, who takes the prestige in these situations?

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Later in 1482 I declared war on Finland especially since Lithuania was weak… more importantly, there was no way for Lithuania to reach me.

1483 skipped by quietly but 1484 arrived with a number of fun events.

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Madeira became a city, I would have a future Light Brigade,

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I expanded my colonial range with a new Hire and made peace with Finland, forcing them to renounce all their cores on my side, becoming vassals and changing their religion. White peace was granted to Lithuania a few months down the line.

In 1485 I took this deal

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ending the session with a warning coming from the Haasa.

Eh, good enough in my returning effort to recapture the sun.

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Crush the sun! It had it coming.

Besides, being in the Americas without being the French with their bonus to relations is bs. Though having the extra colonists bonus is also cool.

Now I just want to play Colonization again.