"We're On a Mission from God...Don't Tell the Pope."

[Actinguy]

(This is my first AAR...I'm new to Crusader Kings, so please be gentle. Seriously though, I'd love feedback, etc.)

1066 - Friedrich Goseck had led a good life. At 61 years old, he was the Count of Anhalt, and a respected scholarly theologian. His wife Hedwig, at 26, was certainly too young for him...and was a flamboyant schemer...but they really did love each other. And she had given him something he had begun to accept he would never have...a son. Frederich was just one year old, but he was a joy to watch. And Friedrich was sure Freddy would make a great Count one day.

Friedrich was loyal to his liege, Udo Staden, a generous and charismatic negotiator. And Friedrich even had a close relationship with his brother Adalbert, who was the Bishop of Bremen and Hamburg. Friedrich had worried at first that his brother would be upset that the birth of Freddy meant Adalbert was no longer first in line to become the new count...but Adalbert had proven himself to be the temperate, scholarly theologian that he had always been, and welcomed his nephew into the world.

1067 - Friedrich was honored to receive the Duke of Saxony, Magnus Billung, and introduced him to one of the fairest maidens in his court, Eufemia. It seemed to be instant love, and Eufemia and Duke Billung were married shortly thereafter. The publicity from this visit and matchmaking meant Friedrich soon had a court-full of men and women eager to offer their services to him. He soon chose Johann von Wetterau, 32, a reckless coward but a knowledgable tactician to be his marshall. He named Gisela, 34, a deceitful, suspicious, intricate webweaver to be his spymaster, and even chose a foreigner seeking sanctuary as his stewart...Wenzel von Querfort, 50, seemed the perfect choice since he was generous and had a midas touch, though he did seem to be arbitrary at times. Finally, he named his own wife, Hedwig, as his chancellor.

Friedrich entrusted a local noble to handle the day-to-day care of Freddy, and William the King of England became the new papal controller as Hildebrand Bishop of Orbtello replaced the newly deceased pope.

1068 - Friedrich, now 63 years old, defied old age once again and sired a second son, Hermann. However, the night Hermann was born, Friedrich dreamt that he was visited by an angel.

"Friedrich, Count of Anhalt, I speak on behalf of God. There is a great danger approaching. Tomorrow, your wife will approach and ask you for a new coat. You must refuse, and take her immediately to the church where I will contact you again. Beware the Pope."

Friedrich awoke in a cold sweat, troubled by the vision, but wrote it off as a dream.

Until that day, at breakfast, when his wife asked for a new coat.

 

[unmerged(48100)]

"Avoid the Pope." *Grins*

A good start, I wonder where this is going. However, I'll try to give some constructive critisism too. First, it might be a bit better to use the date in a complete sentence, such as "in 1066". Second, your characterisation was solid at the start, but I would like to know a bit more about the characters, apart from the traits they have. Maybe what is said about them, how they stand in relation to Friedrich, does he like them, does he dislike them, etc. But don't take it as negative, it isn't meant as that.

 

[unmerged(31881)]

A fine start. If you want bits of constructive criticism, i'll add my two bits.
1) Screenshots - they don't have to be many, just a little imagery to break up the text and maybe save a few explanations.
In fact, for the introduction - i'd say three screenshots might have interrupted the flow and been too many.

2) There is a popular axiom along the lines of show, don't tell. Or at least, sneak in your telling so it doesn't show.
For instance, for Wenzel von Querfort - mention that he single-handedly doubled the gold flowing into the coffers every month...
Provide the dots and a few lines and people will figure out he has the midas touch.

But mostly though you've got the important things for an AAR. Good writing and a good idea.*
Now i'll go patiently lurk in the peanut gallery.


*and a great title! those are especially difficult i think.**
**and your choice, like your wordsmithing, bodes well.

 

[CrackdToothGrin]

Great start!

I'll give you a word of advice...

If you decide to write down notes (I have about twenty pages, front and back, for my NubIAAR...), don't let your employees (or for that matter, your friends/family) anywhere near them...

And, make duplicate saves and autosave often, otherwise you might be screwed if the file is corrupted, etc...

I also agree with CSK about the characterization, more details please !!!

Count me subscribed.

 

[Actinguy]

CSK - Thanks! I was fastforwarding to the point I'm at now in the game, but you're right. I should slow down and show more of the characters.

TSKB18 - Good point on the screenshots...I read a few other AARs, and the ones I really liked had them. But...I don't know how. Can you give me a hint? And also good point about the characters.

Crackd - Thanks for the tips! Luckily, I live alone and don't have the freedom to do this at work, so that shouldn't be a problem. But the game has already crashed three times since I downloaded it, so I've made sure to autosave every three years with this dynasty.

Thanks again, all! Another update, coming right up.

 

[unmerged(48100)]

Pressing F11 will save them (the screenshots) to your CK folder. There you edit them with Paint or better and then upload them with Photobucket or imageshack , which isn't loading for me and worse of both (I tried both, trust me). Then you have to use [ IMG]what I want as Image [/IMG ], just without the space to post it.

 

[Actinguy]

Friedrich nearly choked on his Wheat-O's. "What did you just say?"

"I said I need a new coat. Winter is nearly here, and this one is getting thin. Besides, if I'm to be your chancellor then I can hardly entertain foreign dignitaries in a coat that screams 'drab.' Or 'cheap.' And I would think that after going through childbirth twice now, the least you could do is make sure that I don't freeze to death. After all..."

"Grab the children."

"Why? Are we going shopping?"

"No...we're going to church. Now."

---
Friedrich, Hedwig, Freddy, and baby Hermann arrived in the empty church just as the snow began to fall.

"Friedrich, speak to me. What is going on?"

"I was visited. By an angel."

"An angel."

"In my sleep. She told me to come to the church."

"...You had a dream, then."

"She also said you would ask for a new coat. Today."

"WHAT?"

"She said you would ask for a new coat today. And that when you did, we needed to come to the church and await further orders."

"...well...we're here. Now what?"

"I don't know...we wait. Pray. Ask for guidance."

And so Friedrich and Hedwig and even 4-year-old Freddy knelt in the front pew and began to pray.

The silence of the church quickly gave way to the blowing winds of the growing blizzard...the sound was nearly deafening...until the church's door blew open.

"Count Goseck! Somehow, I knew I'd find you here."

Friedrich and his family turned, surprised, to see Marshall Johann von Wetterau standing at the entrance.

 

[unmerged(48100)]

Oh, cliffhanger! Thinking of any longer posts soon or rather shortish more than once per day? Anyway, I'm rather surprised his wife isn't the least concerned the Angel was female.

 

[Actinguy]

I'll do a few short ones with cliffhangers today to lay out the basic plot, then start posting longer ones. I'm currently at 1074 in my game and 1068 in the story, so I've got a bit of catching up to do. :rofl:

 

[LlywelynII]

@CSK: "First, it might be a bit better to use the date in a complete sentence, such as 'in 1066.'"
Question of style. I prefer it as is - it's closer to the annals. Although Roman numerals would be nice.
@TSKB: "Screenshots"
Yeah, a good minimalist approach is just to add one at the end of your post every decade or two.
@Crackd: "Savegames"
This is really important - you don't have to fill up your hard drive, but don't just have one savegame. At the least I usually keep a save on the ascension of each new king and after major campaigns I never want to have to fight again.
@Acting: Or speed up more whichever's better for the story.

Also three times is a lot for the game to crash - is your computer old? do you have the 1.05 patch?

Finally, if only for the irony, feel free to experiment around with a papacy, too, once you've settled in. Latest post has a Blues Brothers reference, too.
@CSK: Well, she hasn't had much time yet, what with being bustled out. But excellent point. Good head.

Have you considered protecting it with a miter?

 

[Actinguy]

"Johann! What is it?"

"Sir...I had a vision."

"A...vision?"

Friedrich and Hedwig exchanged a look.

"What sort of vision?"

"A vision of the future, sir. A vision of how I...you...we...can expand your power. Your influence. Your control. And earn favor with God at the same time."

"Go on."

Johann began pulling maps out of his sack.

"Right...we're here, right? Anhalt. Just north is Altmark. But North of them...along the Baltic Sea here...this is pagan territory! The Mecklenburg Tribe. Now, they're a bit too large to take on by ourselves...but just to the East here, this is the Pomeranian tribe. Also pagans. And they have about the same number of men that we do. But of course you're a powerful, inspiring leader. And you hired me because of my skill with tactics. So we can defeat them...swiftly, even...and bring Catholicism to those Godless regions. And then Duke Staden...maybe even King von Franken will see how easy it is to spread our faith, and will assist us in...converting...Mecklenburg. And then you will rule almost the entire northern coast of Germany, right along the Baltic Sea. And, more importantly, we will be bringing God to the faithless. We'll be rewarded beyond measure both here and beyond. Of course...you are a much more inspiring person than I...so...I was thinking that maybe you would lead the troops into battle. With my assistance in the planning stages, of course."

Johann paused, waited for the praise and excitement he was so sure would follow.

But the Count seemed hesistant. Concerned. He was looking around the church as if expecting someone else to arrive. Finally, he turned to his wife, the Chancellor.

"What do you think, dear?"

"I don't know...maybe this is the sign we were waiting for."

Finally, the Count turned back to Johann.

"Come with me."

"Where are we going, sir?"

"To see my brother. The Bishop."

And so they left, together.


Moments later, an angel arrived. She waited nearly an hour, then left in frustration to find a true believer.

 

[Actinguy]

@CSK: "First, it might be a bit better to use the date in a complete sentence, such as 'in 1066.'"
Question of style. I prefer it as is - it's closer to the annals. Although Roman numerals would be nice.
@TSKB: "Screenshots"
Yeah, a good minimalist approach is just to add one at the end of your post every decade or two.
@Crackd: "Savegames"
This is really important - you don't have to fill up your hard drive, but don't just have one savegame. At the least I usually keep a save on the ascension of each new king and after major campaigns I never want to have to fight again.
@Acting: Or speed up more whichever's better for the story.

Also three times is a lot for the game to crash - is your computer old? do you have the 1.05 patch?

Finally, if only for the irony, feel free to experiment around with a papacy, too, once you've settled in. Latest post has a Blues Brothers reference, too.
@CSK: Well, she hasn't had much time yet, what with being bustled out. But excellent point. Good head.

Have you considered protecting it with a miter?

Thanks, Llywelyn! My computer is brand new, and top of the line...at least, as top of the line as you can buy at Wal-Mart. And it is 1.05. And just crashed a fourth time.

But I'm autosaving, so all is well.

 

[CrackdToothGrin]

To understand the perils of savegame drama, see the last few posts of my AAR...

But, rather than flogging a dead horse, I'll jump to the actual matter of AAR-specific discussion, which is obviously the forced conversion of pagans...

And, that, actually, is all I have to say about that...

I use ellipses way too much...

 

[unmerged(48100)]

I wonder about the possibility of success for this plan, after all every Duke can steal your siege. On the other hand, the part with the Angel is intriguing. I wonder if that's why they have to avoid the Pope.

And CrackdToothGrin, you never can use too much ellipses in your native tongue. Although I prefer Hyperbaton...

 

[Actinguy]

Thanks for the feedback, as usual, guys!

Not sure exactly what you mean about the forced conversion of pagans...if it's offensive, well, "The views stated by any characters in this story are not necessarily the views of the authors, yadda yadda yadda." If you simply meant that it's difficult or just not well thought out...well...it was proposed by someone who is reckless. And is only receiving serious consideration because it happened to coincide with the Count's dream. Though as we learned in our last installment, this may not have been the intention...

As for the Dukes stealing sieges...well...again, our Marshal is a bit "reckless" and not thinking things through all the way.

But thanks again for the feedback! Once I get the story caught up to where I am now, I'll start posting screenshots.

 

[Actinguy]

"My brother! What brings you all the way to Bremen? And your wife as well! It is not often that I am visited by lovely young women, I am afraid. The children...are they well?"

Friedrich entered his brother's rectory, with Hedwig and Johann in tow. Hermann had been entrusted to the nannies, while Freddy had entered studies at the monastary.

"Adalbert...I had a vision. An angel spoke to me."

"...I see. Well, please, come in. Let me take your coats. Heinrich, tea."

The Bishop's aide scattered off to fetch the beverages, as the three visitors took a seat.

"Now then...tell me about this vision."

"I had a dream. An angel came to me. She said there was a great danger approaching."

"What sort of danger?"

"She didn't say...but she told me that the next morning, Hedwig would ask for a new coat. And that I should then report to the church for more information."

"And?"

"And the next morning, Hedwig asked for a coat."

Hedwig pointed where Bishop Adalbert had just hung their coats. "That's it, over there. Isn't it lovely?"

Adalbert didn't even look at it. "This is amazing...what happened at the church?"

"Nothing, at first. Hedwig, Freddy, and I all began to pray. Then a snowstorm began, and Johann arrived at the church, looking for me. I had told no one of the vision but Hedwig...yet Johann reported that he, too, had had a vision."

The Bishop turned towards Marshal Johann. "And it was of an Angel?"

"No, your Excellency. It was a vision of Germany. But our borders had extended to cover the southern coast of the Baltic Sea. And your brother here was in charge of it all."

"And did you see how it had happened?"

"Not directly, your Excellency. But once I saw the outcome, I was able to develop a plan. Count Goseck could lead our armies to battle the Pomeranian tribe here, and bring Catholicism to these Godless pagans. And then with the support of Duke Staden or maybe even King von Franken, he could lead a battle against the pagan Mecklenberg tribes as well. And then rule the entire southern Baltic coast."

The Bishop nodded. "And this Angel...did she appear at the church?"

"No, my brother."

"It must have taken you some time to get here from Anhalt. Have any of you had a vision since?"

"No. We have not."

Heinrich entered, and began serving tea to Friedrich, Hedwig, Johann, and Adalbert.

"Well...the proper course here, then, is to confirm that a miracle has taken place. I will contact Pope Hildebrand immediately."

"Actually, Brother...there is one more thing."

Adalbert closed his eyes, waiting.

"The Angel said to...beware."

"Of?"

"The Pope."

Adalbert leaned back, and sipped his tea. Finally, he nodded.

"Yes...I thought that might be the case."

And then he set his tea cup down on the tray, and ordered Heinrich to take it away.

What no one had seen, of course, was that the Bishop had slipped a short, scribbled message into the tea cup for Heinrich.

"Send a message to the Pope. Must see him. Urgent."

 

[Actinguy]

With his brother's blessing, Johann's strategy, and a kiss from his wife and two boys, Friedrich began marching two thousand of his men up through Brandenburg and into Golgast, Pomeranian county.

And the battle began.

Friedrich's men, only barely outnumbered, fought well. Fought proud. Fought long.

But they were not winning.

The battle was well-matched, point for point. For every man Friedrich's army slayed, one of theirs was slain in return.

Until, finally, a scout came running up to speak directly to Friedrich.

"Sir! Sir!"

"What is it, boy?"

"An army ten times our size is approaching! From the rear, sir!"

"Pagans?"

"No, sir...the flag...it's..."

"Out with it, boy!"

"The King!"

 

[Actinguy]

Heinrich von Franken (not to be confused with Heinrich, the Bishop's aide) was just 17...but he had been King of Germany (and Italy and Burgundy and the Duke of these countries and the Count of those ones) since his father passed away when Heinrich was just six years old. But despite his young age, he was, by all accounts, a fair leader. He had, according to the gossip anyhow, been completely faithful to his wife until she had passed away just months ago, and was now a chaste man. He trusted those he put into power, forgave minor infractions, but was also ruthless with his enemies. He was a man who inspired and rewarded his followers.

And, perhaps most important for the purpose of our tale, one of his closest friends when he became King at just six years of age was Magnus Billung, then 11...who, of course, was now the Duke of Saxony.

And so when King von Franken first learned that one of his lowly Counts, Friedrich Goseck, had taken it upon himself to march 2000 of his men North to the Baltic Sea and declared holy war, the King sought Duke Billung's advice.

"Your Majesty," the Duke began, "when I was younger...about your age, I had occasion to visit Anhalt, and was received by Count Friedrich Goseck. And during my visit, he introduced me to the loveliest young maiden I've ever had the honor to speak to. That maiden, of course, is now my wife Eufemia. And as you know, I cherish her today as I know you cherished your wife before her passing. So in my eyes, if Count Goseck has declared holy war upon some tribe beyond our borders, he must surely have a reason."

And so it was that King von Franken had set out to meet Friedrich on the battlefield, with 10 thousand of his finest men.

To find out just what the hell that reason might be.

 

[LlywelynII]

"What do you think, dear?"

Heh.

Moments later, an angel arrived. She waited nearly an hour, then left in frustration to find a true believer.

Heh.

to the actual matter of AAR-specific discussion, which is obviously the forced conversion of pagans...

One thing you should prolly mention, if he's new, is that the easiest way to convert pagan provinces isn't the diocese bishop or religious spread events, but to piss off the locals until they rebel and then use that as an excuse to crush them (spec. raise all sliders to 100% in turn, killing off loyalty, then give spread power 10-40-10-40). Otoh, if you're role playing, you might only want to do that if your guy is deceitful or very clever.

"Pagans?"
"No, sir...the flag...it's..."
"Out with it, boy!"
"The King!"

CKPlayer: @#$@^@#!!!1!!

To find out just what the hell that reason might be.

Crazed Prospecter: LAAAND!!!!1! :slobber:

Incidentally, on the subject of Heinrich's "chastity," cf. his wife's recollection on that account...
j.

 

[Jestor]

Moments later, an angel arrived. She waited nearly an hour, then left in frustration to find a true believer.

Best line so far. I laughed for a good five minutes.

"No, sir...the flag...it's..."

"Out with it, boy!"

"The King!"

It's things like this that make me glad the HRE has a tendency to break when I'm playing in Germany. Damn siege stealers