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would be more helpful if you could post screenshots

is he a governor in an admin realm? is he allowed to become a knight in the knight management screen? does he have certain traits like incapable that doesnt allow them to become commander? is he under a vassal of you?
 
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would be more helpful if you could post screenshots

is he a governor in an admin realm? is he allowed to become a knight in the knight management screen? does he have certain traits like incapable that doesnt allow them to become commander? is he under a vassal of you?

I can do it but I don't know what you expect to see. He simply doesn't appear in the list of commanders and is the only son that doesn't.
 
I can do it but I don't know what you expect to see. He simply doesn't appear in the list of commanders and is the only son that doesn't.
Probably most helpful to see a screenshot of the son.

Is he in another court (the game is bad about accidentally sending folks wandering who really shouldn't)?

Is he traveling or in an activity (sometimes they can get stuck in them for years if something goes wrong with one of the guests)?

As noted, does he have a trait like incapable?

Is he landed (he may be leading his own army somewhere)?
 
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Screenshot 2025-06-05 131035.png

I'm not sure what it is you expect to find in this, I can't get the full list of available characters in a single screenshot. Suffice it to say this is the second game it's happened in, the only available character who isn't available is my heir. I'm playing England in the 9th Century if that helps.
 
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I'm not sure what it is you expect to find in this, I can't get the full list of available characters in a single screenshot.
What we expect to find is a screenshot of your son's actual character sheet, not a screenshot of the general selection window.
 
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View attachment 1313264

Well you didn't say that. Here you are.
And there's your answer. He's in another court. You need to have him in your court, or be a direct vassal.
You married him to a landed person (or that person inherited a title). So he stays in their court.

Edit: And in case you want to solve this, here are your options:
1) Give him a title so he will be your direct vassal
2) Have him divorce, either legally or by murdering his spouse, and then invite him back to your court.
3) If his wife is your direct vassal, you can revoke her title. Then invite them back to your court.
 
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He doesn't hold any land yet; his wife does. So he stays in her court. Whatever land he stands to inherit in the future doesn't matter right now. She has a court and he does not, so he goes to her court, serves on her council, and waits patiently (or Justly, or Bravely) for the day when he, too, is an actual land owner.
 
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He doesn't hold any land yet; his wife does. So he stays in her court. Whatever land he stands to inherit in the future doesn't matter right now. She has a court and he does not, so he goes to her court, serves on her council, and waits patiently (or Justly, or Bravely) for the day when he, too, is an actual land owner.

So at the point of inheritance of the crown the script gets flipped and he's able to lead armies once more? Presumably her county is absorbed into my England then?
 
So at the point of inheritance of the crown the script gets flipped and he's able to lead armies once more? Presumably her county is absorbed into my England then?

Once the old man kicks and you're playing as the heir, yes, he'll be in charge of his own court with his own land and he'll be able to lead the army if he wants to. As for wife's county, it depends, is she currently part of England or does she have a top liege outside of England? Because her county will stay wherever it is right now, until her own death at which point it depends on who's inheriting her county and what other holdings they have, what crown authority her top liege has, and some other stuff. If she's in England right now then yes, she will stay in England.
 
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Interestingly the game represents Eleanor of Aquitaine's lands as part of England in 1178 even though she's in this exact situation, married to the monarch but legally a subject of France (although the king of England was too which the game can't really represent)
 
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Once the old man kicks and you're playing as the heir, yes, he'll be in charge of his own court with his own land and he'll be able to lead the army if he wants to. As for wife's county, it depends, is she currently part of England or does she have a top liege outside of England? Because her county will stay wherever it is right now, until her own death at which point it depends on who's inheriting her county and what other holdings they have, what crown authority her top liege has, and some other stuff. If she's in England right now then yes, she will stay in England.

Thanks for the help.
 
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