I haven't played for a few months but he used to be able to, now he's the only son that isn't allowed?
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would be more helpful if you could post screenshots
is he a governor in an admin realm? is he allowed to become a knight in the knight management screen? does he have certain traits like incapable that doesnt allow them to become commander? is he under a vassal of you?
Probably most helpful to see a screenshot of the son.I can do it but I don't know what you expect to see. He simply doesn't appear in the list of commanders and is the only son that doesn't.
What we expect to find is a screenshot of your son's actual character sheet, not a screenshot of the general selection window.I'm not sure what it is you expect to find in this, I can't get the full list of available characters in a single screenshot.
And there's your answer. He's in another court. You need to have him in your court, or be a direct vassal.
He doesn't hold any land yet; his wife does. So he stays in her court. Whatever land he stands to inherit in the future doesn't matter right now. She has a court and he does not, so he goes to her court, serves on her council, and waits patiently (or Justly, or Bravely) for the day when he, too, is an actual land owner.
So at the point of inheritance of the crown the script gets flipped and he's able to lead armies once more? Presumably her county is absorbed into my England then?
Once the old man kicks and you're playing as the heir, yes, he'll be in charge of his own court with his own land and he'll be able to lead the army if he wants to. As for wife's county, it depends, is she currently part of England or does she have a top liege outside of England? Because her county will stay wherever it is right now, until her own death at which point it depends on who's inheriting her county and what other holdings they have, what crown authority her top liege has, and some other stuff. If she's in England right now then yes, she will stay in England.