Why cannot women with a very high martial stat (15 or above) become a general or Kukojin? Albeit extremely rare, this would be historically accurate as women were samurai and did fight in more than just defensive battles. I would not allow a woman to become a clan leader by a vote or a Daimyo by petition. She can only do so if she is able to declare and win a civil war or take a title by force of arms. The only exception would be a clan leader without a male heir, but with a qualifying female adult heir. He could then designate her to be "samurai equivalent" and select her as the clan heir. She could then inherit the clan, but with a very high probability of a pretender civil war. Like I said these cases were extremely rare, and I do not believe they would be accepted with more than a tacit accord by the other courts after her sword is put to their neck.
I would also like to know why unwed adult daughters do not get education or the ability to serve as a courtier for their father. It would be nice to have the ability to assign a daughter with a stat above 15 as a master. If she is better than your courtiers it would make sense, and should give some kind of a malus. Perhaps a large drop in relation to the courtier that was replaced and a revolt risk malus for a few years. It would be much more easily accepted than letting your daughters lead your armies.
I would also like to know why unwed adult daughters do not get education or the ability to serve as a courtier for their father. It would be nice to have the ability to assign a daughter with a stat above 15 as a master. If she is better than your courtiers it would make sense, and should give some kind of a malus. Perhaps a large drop in relation to the courtier that was replaced and a revolt risk malus for a few years. It would be much more easily accepted than letting your daughters lead your armies.