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zhivago6

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Oct 13, 2009
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House of Xiphilinos

I, Konstantinos Xiphilinos, leave this account for the benefit of my heirs. The long march of history has taught us Greeks nothing if not that the past is of great importance to the present as well as the future. I hope that those that seize the reigns of power after me will take it upon themselves to record events in their time as well.

KonstantinosAge19.jpg

September 9, 1084
The Empire is crumbling. A state of war exists between the Emperor and many of his former vassals. My father, a trusted and loyal friend to the Emperor to his dying day, would never have abandoned Byzantium. The Emperor did after all make him a Prince. When I took power as a child of 2 years, at my mother’s urging, and unlike my father, I refused to relinquish control over the armies of Thessalonica to be squandered on countless battlefields for the glory of the Empire. Instead, at the age of 7, I declared war on the enemies of Christendom on my own and seized the lands of Siracusa, Agringento, and Trapani for myself. As I grew into manhood more and more of my fellow dukes and counts grew weary of the iron grip of the Emperor and revolted. Though repeatedly asked by my friends and neighbors, I refused to join the Rebel Alliance, not out of any loyalty to the crown, but out of loyalty to my father’s memory. Once my father’s friend was dead, killed some say by his own brother for the thrown, I saw no reason to stay within the Empire. I did not join the war against it, because, even at only 16 years of age I could see that this new Emperor was a cruel and vengeful man. I had no desire to embroil the good people in my lands in a painful and costly war, not unless there was something to gain that is . . .

Map2-1088.jpg


December 20, 1089
The next few years were peaceful, so I shall record here the story of my wives. My first wife’s name was Alisia of Cagliari. My mother, always eager to get involved in my life, arranged the marriage with an Italian count. I fell in love with her completely. Unfortunately, she spent a little too much time with my Marshal, a Moslem named Jabir who fled from the lands of my enemies. My heart was broken, and had he not been such a good Marshal, I may have just had him exiled or killed, but luckily Alisia died in childbirth in 1085. My second wife was named Binhilde von Babenberg, and again the marriage was arranged by my mother with a German count in 1086. You need to understand, I was somewhat disillusioned with marriage at this point, so you can see why it was around this time that I fathered a bastard son named Isaakios with a serving wench. This second wife gave me a daughter as well. But then she began spending a little too much time with Marshal Jabir. Unfortunately, he is a damn good Marshal, so once again I had a hard choice to make. Luckily, (and conveniently) Binhilde died in childbirth in 1088. My next wife I choose myself, because clearly my mother had poor taste in women. My third wife was named Elena Vojislavljevic and we were wed in a pleasant ceremony in the summer of 1088. Much to my delight, this wife actually produced a legitimate son, Theodoros. Things were looking up. Elena even got pregnant again right away. Shortly thereafter, however, there was another unpleasant development.

Elena-Jabir_affair.jpg


Will my wife conveniently die for her transgressions, or will I have to help her see the error of her adultery? Will she give birth to another son, or a half heathen bastard of my Marshal (did I mention he is a very good marshal)? Will the evil Empire try to pull my lands back into its fold? Will the heathen’s see my realm as a target and attack in hordes? Will Marshal Jabir ever feel bad about sleeping with all my wives? I will answer these and other questions at a later writing.
 
Perhaps its time to send your marshal Jabir on a boating expedition. Oops! He fell overboard and can't swim with all that armour on.....:rolleyes: Good marshals come and go!!!:p
 
You and your wives have all agreed on one thing - Marshall Jabir is very good.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Good luck with that! At least you have Theodorus so the dynasty is safe (although I'm sure young Theo might not grow up with the great confidence in the loyalty of women once he hears the stories...)
 
Clearly, marshal is the job to have if you're a CK character looking for some badly drawn T&A.

Subscribed!
 
Wow. Starting his first war at age 7? Watch out for this guy! I like the idea of the Rebel Alliance against the Emperor :D Darth Kommenus?
 
House of Xiphilinos

January 4, 1095
A great deal has transpired since I last recorded events, and I shall endeavor to include them all in this account.

My third wife Elena gave birth to a daughter, but shortly thereafter it occurred to me that the good Lord had a sense of humor.

1-Elena-Crazy-Sick-1091.jpg

Elena went stark raving mad (probably from fornicating with a heathen), then got very sick. Of course I am still a man so . . .

2-ElenaExpectin-July1091.jpg

Unfortunately (or fortunately) we never found out if it was to be another heir because Elena died in November of 1091.

3-1091NovElenaDies.jpg

However, life must go on, for the kids and all that, so my 4th bride Agathe von Zahringen and I were married that same month.

4-1091NovAgathe_Wife4.jpg

And five days later when she noticed that the royal cemetery had already prepared a tomb for her . . .

5-1091DecAgathe-FallingOut.jpg

But maybe I would have had better luck with these personal matters had my father not died when I was a toddler. I often wonder what he would think of my actions as Prince? For instance, my decision to follow my friend, Roger de Hauteville into war against Egypt? The war still rages, only the future knows the wisdom of these things.

6-1092JulFriendWar.jpg

By October of 1093 the cowardly Egyptians still had not gathered the courage to meet my forces on the battlefield, and I lusted after more lands and heathen blood. So I did what any God-fearing Christian would do, I started another war! I devised a plan to take the rich territory of Palermo from the Emirate of Almeria for my own.

To celebrate my army's impending victory, I decided to put my differences aside with wife number 4.

7-1093OctAgathe-Expectingwar.jpg

By August of 1094 we had vanquished the heathens (in Emirate of Almeria at least). All was going well. The heathens feared us, Byzantium had its own problems, I had brought Palermo into the Principality, and I had another heir on the way. I was away seeing to the construction of a new royal post in the recently liberated land when Agathe gave birth, and sadly the naming of the child was left to my wife.

8-1094AugGiselbertBorn.jpg

Well, at least he is legitimate. At the time, I figured it did not matter much, because our next son would have a good manly greek name. I figured wrong. I had been so busy with the new conquests that I had not noticed my wife had gotten ill.

9-1094NovAgathe-dies.jpg

I knew young Giselbert needed a loving mother figure if he was ever to overcome his horrible name, so I found him a replacement, and because I was tired of learning a new name every time my wife dies, I picked a lass with pretty much the same name as my last one.

10-1094NovAgatha-Wife5.jpg

Wife number 5, or Agatha, or ‘Agatha 2 The Sequel’ decided she wanted more than to just raise my other kids and she wanted her own, so naturally I had no choice but to do my husbandly duties and impregnate her. After all, there is no such thing as too many heirs is there?

While at a tournament in honor of my new wife, my neighbor, the Prince of Dyrrachion, gave a toast in which he said something on the order of “Tis good to see yonder maiden has made you an honest man, Konstantinos! Of course you’ve gone through so many wenches you should be the most honest man in all of Greece!”

11-1094DecDyrrachionInsult.jpg

Well, this could not stand! I laid claim to his title and declared War! I write this now as I am about to embark on the campaign to gut this dog once and for all!

12-1095JanDyrrachionWarFinal.jpg

Will the war with Egypt heat up? Will the Prince of Dyrrachion apologize for insulting me? Will Marshal Jabir take a fancy to my new bride? Will I call my wife the wrong name? Will she notice? I will write more in the future.
 
Jabir will impregnate your wife and the Prince of Dyrrhachion shall lose his lands and move to the Egyptian court.
Oh, and you shall probably have a new wife in the next chapter.
 
Why is it always the Marshal & never the steward, chancellor or spymaster the wife has an affair with?? Btw I think you could rename this to the House of Jabir (ahem Xiphilinos)
 
*ahem* I seem to remember that somewhere along the way in Knud Knytlings (and various relatives') adventures the diocese bishop was the one to have an affair with the wife.

In my current AAR game, it was my diocese bishop who had an affair with my wife. But it ended without any children conceived meanwhile, so the succession was safe.

I'd tell you more, but the updates haven't caught up to the later shenanigans.


And presumably, at least the spymaster would know how to cover his tracks. Yet a further factor is that any ruler is likely to have at least some women as steward/chancellor/spymaster, yet diocese bishops and marshals are always men.
 
Looks interesting. Subscribed. :)
 
House of Xiphilinos

November 30, 1099
The last few years have been fairly uneventful, but I shall record their passage for the sake of future generations.

I triumphed over the wretched Prince of Dyrrachion in the battle of Ochrid in February of 1095, but my victory was hollow. I took the title of Dyrrachion Prince for myself, but the territory of Dyrrachion went to the Prince of Croatia, while Ochrid went to Count of Strymon.

1-1095FebPrinceofDyrrachion.jpg

I was quite disappointed with how the war turned out, and I flung myself into the arms of my wonderful wife, Agatha 2. We were expecting a child when something completely unexpected happened in September of 1095.

2-1095SepAgathaDies.jpg

Well, you can’t expect a ruler to go through life alone can you? For the sake of my subjects I had to remarry, and this time to a nice Greek girl from the island of Crete.

3-1095SepHelene-Wife6.jpg

Helene proved to be a fine wife, for a while. She bore me two daughters, Maria in 1096, and Ionna in 1099.

4-1096SepMariaBorn.jpg

The only thing that I could ask is that she produce me a son, unfortunately she had some other health problems . . .

5-1098JunHeleneBlind.jpg

I am not going to say it didn’t put a strain on our relationship, because it did.

6-1099JanWifeProb.jpg

But I had more pressing concerns, my horribly named son, Giselbert, had tragedy strike his young life for the first time (if you don’t count his mother’s death) (also if you don’t count his step-mother’s death).

7-1099AprGiselbertIllness.jpg

Concerned that Giselbert might not live long enough to overcome his terrible name, I started spending my time with my healthy kids, the bastard Isaakios mainly. We went fishing, I showed him the family crypts and cemetery additions I had planned, I explained the role of family and why spouses were valuable to a ruler, you know, the usually father and son stuff.

8-1097JanBastardnice.jpg

At the close of the decade the Egyptians finally got tired of the cold war between us, and never having actually sent troops to fight us (not that I ever sent troops to fight them) they finally came to their senses and offered peace.

9-1099JulEgyptPeace.jpg

I shall write again at length, but in the meanwhile, will Helene ever bear me a Greek son? Will the Giselbert get better? Will Isaakios learn important family dynamics? Will the Heathens ever grow a pair and actually put a fight?
 
"Are these questions normal?"