The HeAARt Of Germany - A Frankfurt AAR

[ATBKING]

Chapter V: War Against Bavaria Pt.2

Adviser: Sire, I Bring word that Bavaria has once again declared war on us.
Stephan Gukpa: Again. We beat them once, we can do it again. This time let us Humiliate them!! How are their numbers this time around??

Stephan: Even Aye?? Well, this should be fun!! For us at least!! Bavaria's been a bad dog. We might have to put them down if we cant domesticate them.
Adviser: Sir, that is very rude.....
Stephan: So?? You act like your Bavarian.
Adviser:..........
Stephan: You are arent you.....
Adviser nodded.
Stephan: Well, if you want to keep your job, you shall get over it wont you!! I've got bigger things to worry about.

Adviser: Sir, Oberpfalz has fallen to Bavaria. Whats your next move??
Stephan: Nothing. Keep doing as we have been.
Adviser: They are on their way here, Sire.
Stephan: Let them come. I do not fear a rabid dog.
Adviser: I AM NOT A DOG!!!
Stephan: I'm sorry!! Wont say it again!!
Adviser: NOW GO PREPARE THE MEN FOR BATTLE!!
Stephan: .....Are...... Are.......ARE YOU GIVING ME ORDERS??
Advisers: Your damn right I am. Wanna do something about it??
Stephan: I..... no......
Adviser: Good. Now hurry and get to it!!
Stephan: Yes Sir!!

Adviser: Ulm has taken Schwaben, Switzerland has retaken Oberpfelz and taken Niederbayern. That only leaves us to take München.
Stephan:...........
Adviser:............
Stephan:...........
Adviser:............
Stephan:...........
Adviser: WHAT!! Say something!!
Stephan: Are you still upset??
Adviser:No.
Stephan:Really?
Adviser:Yes
Stephan:So you Are Upset??
Adviser: Dont make me hurt you.....

Adviser: Welcome to Office Sir.
Joachim: Aaah. Hello. You must be my right hand adviser. I hope you treat me as well as your last Leader.
Adviser:....... Sure......
Joachim: Hahaha. What ever happened to him anyway??
Adviser: He died horrible. They still havent found the body.
Joachim: Thats Horrible!! How do you know this??
Adviser: Dont you have work to do??
Joachim: Just another unexplained death of a merchant. Alot of these are showing up. I might have to watch my back.
Adviser: Maybe you should!!

Ah. Good ol' Frankfurt. Victorious in another war. That ends this chapter. But before we go, lets have a look-see at my Tech map!!

I'm enjoying this new writing Style. Tell me how I'm doing. Id really appreciate it. Just experimenting here, thats all.

End of Chapter V​

 

[blklizard]

Great job so far! Something I would recommend for your new writing style is give the advisor names. It would be a pain later on when you want to make a reference to your dead advisors and they are all called "Advisor".

 

[Restless Native]

Now on to the Trade thing. This goes to Everyone. Trading to me is a waste of time and money. I dont like wasting money. Most of the things you trade for, you can buy an Adviser for. On top of buying the adviser, you dont have a chance of losing him as much as you do a merchant. Plus the cost of sending the merchant is beyond me. When you get an adviser, you use him till your done with him, then you can sell him to other nations for a small fee AND free up some of those ducats you were using to pay him. With a Merchant, you pay for him to go,somewhere between 5 to 15 ducats (for me its 12) and HOPE that he gets in. then once he gets in, you immediately have a chance of losing him. Waste of money.

I dont Trade, I wont trade. Its not my style. Plus this is a conquest AAR. Oh, and the whole thing about it making me the tech leader, is irrelevant. I'm already the Tech leader in Europe. Not the world yet because the Muslims start with their tech higher then Europe.

Thats why I dont trade. I dont like to trade. I hate trade almost as much as colonizing. The only reason I colonize is because you have to for a WC. If I didnt have to colonize to beat the game, I wouldnt. I like to battle it out. If I lose, I lose.

Again, I apologize if this was too harsh. I want everyone to feel my standards on trading. I do feel a troll coming on soon.

It's not harsh, I understand different playing styles etc. and it's not much use if you pick up too much badboy. I have a bit of an obsession with getting ahead in technology, I’m not sure why but I’m always focused on it.
I agree 100% on the colonize thing, it's the most boring part of the game, that and protecting against pirates.

Interesting AAR, not my playing style but then against my style keeps changing depending on country I pick. I'll defo be following this.

 

[ATBKING]

Interesting AAR, not my playing style but then against my style keeps changing depending on country I pick. I'll defo be following this.

Thank You for Understanding.

 

[Minigrinch]

I find it a bit hard to understand how you are ahead in tech without heavy trading, with high infamy and 2/3 uncored provinces.

 

[Gukpa]

BEST DAY OF ALL MY LIFE

 

[ATBKING]

I find it a bit hard to understand how you are ahead in tech without heavy trading, with high infamy and 2/3 uncored provinces.

Sliders my good Sir, Sliders!!

BEST DAY OF ALL MY LIFE

Who you tellin??

 

[Gukpa]

I voted for Stephan Gukpa

 

[aniuby]

I like the non-sequitur, almost bipolar, writing style and random audience participation (whether they like it or not!). There isn't really anything else that's quite like that, not in the EU3 AAR forums at least. I hope you'll stick with it!

It would be a pain later on when you want to make a reference to your dead advisors and they are all called "Advisor".

Given the tone of the whole thing, I'm pretty sure the advisor's name is actually "Adviser". And many, many of those syndics are going to die before he goes.

 

[cuendillar]

I like the non-sequitur, almost bipolar, writing style and random audience participation (whether they like it or not!). There isn't really anything else that's quite like that, not in the EU3 AAR forums at least. I hope you'll stick with it!



Given the tone of the whole thing, I'm pretty sure the advisor's name is actually "Adviser". And many, many of those syndics are going to die before he goes.

If he gets a really good one, he would probably be called A. D. Wiser. Or Weiser, to look more German.

 

[ATBKING]

I find it a bit hard to understand how you are ahead in tech without heavy trading, with high infamy and 2/3 uncored provinces.

I'm just that Awesome.

 

[ATBKING]

@ blklizard , cuendillar, Gukpa: What I think I might start doing is is using the people who comments names as my advisor and having them serve terms. They will work through 2, maybe 3, terms at a Time. I might also like to let the selected person choose the 'mindstate' of this character. Since the Leader already has a name, I might end up doing what I did with Gukpa, but thats too short of a term. Either way, Im gonna holla at a mod for permission to get the OK. Lets see how this rolls out.

 

[ATBKING]

I got permission to use you guy/girls names for my advisors. This begins the poll of who wants to be First!!!

On a Side note, dont forget to Vote for Link>>The EUIII OscAARs: Best Completed AAR AAR for 2012<<Link

 

[aniuby]

Since you only used Gukpa's name for a short time, I vote that Stephan Gukpa should come back again as an advisor ... a zombie advisor.

 

[unmerged(471650)]

You got me again I have to check for new AAR's more often only subscribed to 25 or more.
will be following

PS: what laptop are you using?

 

[ATBKING]

You got me again I have to check for new AAR's more often only subscribed to 25 or more.
will be following

PS: what laptop are you using?

This one was spur of the moment. I seen someone request it and jumped on it. Glad your following.

Also, my laptop is a Dell Studio 1737, with a few added features for gaming. Its old, but updated and is good for all my gaming/modding needs. Heres my computer.

S/N Thanks for commenting, I had almost forgot to update this...

 

[ATBKING]

Chapter VI: What Should We Do Next??

Adviser: So Mr. Dorrenbecher, Its been 5 years since you started your term. How are things.
Joachim: Everything is pretty ok. Not being able to see my friends and Family due to all this work is hard. The only person I really see in a day is you since Im not allowed to leave this building for my own protection. If I could, this smell wouldnt bother me as bad. Did you ever figure out where that God Awful smell was coming from. We moved office rooms a couple of times but it hasnt changed. The smell wont be there for the first bit then it just shows up. As if...... Its following me.
Adviser: If it bothers you that much You can step down and Allow me to take over. I dont Mind.
Joachim: No, that's not possible. If I could, I would stay Syndic till I passed away. Hopefully not as soon as the last leader. What was his name, Stephan Gukpa. Did they ever find his killer.
Adviser: I heard he was killed by a Bavarian shortly after the war. After how he spoke of them, I thought it was only fitting.
Joachim: How horrible. Those Barbarics?? I Should have known. Leave it to those fools to do something stupid like that.
Adviser: Did you just call me Barbaric?? I'll show you Barbaric.
Joachim: Why did you get all defensive as if you Ki........ wait a minute..... Arent you Bavarian??
Adviser: ugh, ahem, would you look at the time. We chatted so long time has passed us by and our work is piling up.

Adviser: Sir, there has been a problem.
Joachim: Whats wrong?
Adviser: We just received word that you have been Excommunicated.
Joachim: ..........
Adviser: ...........
Joachim: ..........
Adviser: ...........
Joachim: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
Adviser: ?!?! Are you crying??
Joachim: NO(sniff)...... Just a short (sniff) burst of (sniff) emotions.... it happens to real men.
Adviser: Are you saying I'm not a real man because I dont cry.....
Joachim: No, I'm saying you're not a real man Because you're Bavarian.
Adviser: (ಠ__ಠ)
Joachim: (•_•)
Adviser: (ಠ___ಠ)
Joachim: ( •_•)>⌐■-■
Adviser: (ಠ_____ಠ)
Joachim: (⌐■_■)
Adviser: I will kill you, If you ever say something like that again.
Joachim: Like you did our last leader??
Adviser: I dont know what your talking about.....
Joachim: Of course not.

Joachim: I hired a philosopher to help bring up our dwindling prestige.
Adviser: Good for you.
Joachim: You still upset.
Adviser: No.
Joachim: I'd be Upset to if someone just figured me out for murder.
Adviser: What did you say??
Joachim: Nothing of importance.
Adviser: You better watch what you say, you might be next.
Joachim: Bring it, Bavarian Hound!! Well, your more like a dachshund.
Adviser: Thats it, your a dead Man.

Struggle in sues.

Adviser: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
Joachim:┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)
Adviser:（╯°□°）╯︵(\ .o.)\
Adviser: ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

Joachim: You wont get away with this.....
Adviser: I already have once.
Adviser finishes him off.

Adviser: Now time to get rid of this one.
Voice: Unfortunately, that wont be possible this time.

Wenzel Dorrenbecher: What a horrible Scandal. I need to make sure I dont hire a Bavarian. They are bloodthirsty.... But who should I let be my...... WHAT IS THAT GOD AWFUL SMELL!!
Voice: I've tried bathing, but it doesnt stop the smell.

Wenzel jumps out of his chair and runs to the door.

Wenzel: Who's there!! Show yourself!!
Voice: Then turn Around slowly. I dont want you to Mess yourself.

Wenzel turns to see a person standing in the corner.

Wenzel: How long have you been there.
Voice: I've been standing here for a year and a Half now. But Ive been in this building for 16 years.
Wenzel: How the only people allowed in here are the staff, Me and my adviser.
Voice: Well, for the first 8 years, I was in your position. I was the Syndic. Then I was murdered and my killer stuffed me into a closet.
Wenzel: Oh how horri..... wait your dead??
Voice: Pale skin, huge gash on my head, wreaks of death.... what didnt make it obvious. Youre a dense one huh??
Wenzel: I will not be disrespected by a zombie!! Who are you?? What do you want anyway? WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!!!
Voice: Gukpa. Stephan Gukpa. Im here because I want to be your Advisor.
Wenzel: Well Mr Gukpa, I must ask you to leave. I dont want a dead man as my advisor.
Gukpa: You only have two options. One, you let me be your advisor no questions asked. Two, I kill you, eat your innards and wear your skin like a shell and make myself the new Syndic under your name. You choose.
Wenzel: I'll take option 1.
Gukpa: Smart Fish. And you, Philosopher. You got a problem??
Marius Assman: Don't accept your dog's admiration of you as proof that you are wonderful.
Wenzel & Gukpa: What?
Marius: There are two refugees from the miseries of life; music and cats.
Gukpa: No wonder we need him. Just him speaking makes me feel stupid. Makes me think all Frankfurters are smart!!
Wenzel: Well now that thats settled, whats our first order of business.
Gukpa: I found these old documents that should be helpful.

Wenzel: Very Nice.
Gukpa: I found This too.

Wenzel: Well, thats one way to start a Term!!
Gukpa: So now we can go to war!!
Wenzel: NOOOOOOO!!! I mean.... we cant. We have too many unlawfuls. Lets wait for that to go away first.....
Gukpa: BOOOO. Thats boring. What do you think Marius?
Marius: The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastards die for his.
Wenzel & Gukpa:........What??

Gukpa: You should let me be in control of the army.
Wenzel: Why. Im in charge of the Army!!
Gukpa: Dont make me wear your skin....
Wenzel: I hereby dub you, Grand General of the Army,

Gukpa: I have a sudden hunger for hands.
Wenzel: YOU DONT WANT MINE!!! THEY HAVE BEEN TO HORRIBLE PLACES!!!
Gukpa: ...... are you married?
Wenzel: No.
Gukpa: Dont ever touch me. Wash everything you put your hands on.
Wenzel: But.... your already dead. It shouldnt harm you.
Gukpa: Dont ever think that way again!!!
Marius: Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand....
Gukpa: NOT NOW MARIUS!!
Wenzel: Dont be that way.
Gukpa: Oh, look at the date, your term Just ended. GET THE HELL OUT.
Wenzel: I dont want to....
Marius: It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest thing in the world.

End of Chapter VI​

 

[ATBKING]

By the way, who wants to be next after Gukpa. First come first serve.

 

[Gnorf]

haha oh lawdy those dialogs are cracking me up

 

[Belgiumruler]

By the way, who wants to be next after Gukpa. First come first serve.

I! I want to be next