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This is my second time attempting to write this post, thanks to learning the hard way never to trust that the forums have saved your draft! There's your PSA for today!
Anywho, I want to thank all of you for the patience you've had these last few weeks with me. While I am in a much better spot than I was last time we spoke in many ways, writing the last six installments of this story was a bit of a grind, and RL things kept sucking away my writing time to begin with, so that's why it's taken so long to get these to you. But I think at the end of the day, both you and I will be happy that I decided to push through until the end before publishing, because now I can release everything to you without the risk or worry of another long wait.
With that said, it's finally time to announce the release dates for Chapters 14-18 and the Epilogue! I'll be publishing them one after the other in a mAARathon starting
Wednesday, August 26th!
So hooray! Only two more days of waiting! And then every day from then through the last day of August you'll get a new chapter. I figure it makes a nice countdown to the release of CK3 as well as...
My First Twitch Stream on Sept 1st at 1:00 pm UTC!
That's right! As an extra special reward for you kind and patient folks (seriously, I can't stress the patient part enough), I'm inviting you to join me at twitch.tv/GreenRiceGaming on release day of CK3 to witness my first interactions with the new game. Please bear with me, as I'm a 100% green newbie to streaming and don't have any special equipment set up for this. So don't expect crystal-clear audio or me to be on top of every single chat message that pops up like the pros do, but I will make as just as much of an effort to provide you with entertainment.
Stream FAQ Q: Will you be using a face cam? A: Sadly, no. As a teacher, I have to be wary of my online presence and how easily people (read: students) can find me and link my RL and online identities. I've already had the harrowing experience of students looking up my very goofy profile picture on my personal Twitter account. And while I'm not embarrassed by my affection for Crusader Kings, we all know why this subreddit exists, and the last thing I need is some parent or administrator to look me up and misunderstand a Twitch VOD of me doing one of the many heinous things you can do in this game.
Q: Will you just be replaying the Habsburgs?
A: Maybe. I actually want to get input from the folks who tune in, because I myself am a bit torn. I think it would be cool and informative (particularly to viewers who are still contemplating buying CK3) to compare what strategies are possible in comparison to CK2 given the same starting character. On the other hand, as Reb Tevye would say, I can totally understand the desire for something new. So for the early-birds who arrive a few minutes early to the stream, I'll be running a pre-stream poll on whether I play as the Habsburgs or a new dynasty. If the Habsburgs are voted down by all the traitors, I'll run a second poll with a few pre-picked characters to choose from.
Q: Can I vote here in the thread if I'm not sure if I can make it to the stream in time for the poll?
A: Short answer: sorry, no. While I understand if you have this question, it could potentially be a can of worms to allow this. It would be an extra layer of complexity to try and deal with, and would do a disservice to the live viewers if people voted here but then didn't tune in for the live stream at all. That said, feel free to voice your opinion on who I should play here (you may have a brilliant suggestion for another character I could play), just know if you don't cast an official vote on Twitch you're not affecting the outcome of the stream.
Hope to see as many of you as possible in chat at 1 o'clock on the 1st!
Oh, he definitely was, but it felt like it had been max 30 seconds since I clicked post when he replied, so I couldn’t believe he speed-read the whole thing that fast!
Afterhis coronation, the new Emperor Gilbert Scarpponois wasted little time in taking advantage of his newfound power. On 15 January of 1147 he invested his firstborn son Onfroy as the new Duke of Nordgau. Onfroy swore allegiance directly to his father and the imperial throne, leaving no room for ambiguity: Nordgau would no longer be a vassal realm of the Habsburg kingdom, even after Gilbert’s death.
April that year started off with a bang, when on the very first of the month, a large group of several thousand Hungarian peasants began a rebellion in the south of Carpathia, declaring that for too long they had been ruled by a foreign, absentee monarch who kept court on the other side of the continent, and that Hungary was now a free and independent kingdom. Simon marshaled his troops, but it would take quite some time to consolidate them from across his spread out lands and deploy them.
Not one to get tunnel vision, Simon kept appraised of the goings on in his extended family. He was mildly annoyed to discover that Burchard of Steirmark, still only who was just months away from his 16th birthday, was betrothed to Caterina d’Este, a 39-year-old Milanese noblewoman. Fearing that Burchard would never have an opportunity to produce an heir, Simon extended her an invitation to Basel, then swiftly ordered her to cancel the engagement almost as soon as she arrived on 11 August.
By the first anniversary of Simon's coronation, he and his army were almost at Bács, followed close behind by a division of the Imperial Army. Despite his grudge against the Habsburgs, Gilbert apparently wasn’t keen on seeing Hungary leave the Empire, either. Simon also caught wind on the 13th of November that Gilbert has also done exactly what Princess Christine had expected: the young Count Thomas von Heiligenberg of Schwaben, a boy of nine, had been granted the Duchy of Swabia.
A foolish maneuver, Simon thought when he read the report. Gilbert has all but given Swabia to me in trying to limit Mother’s influence. He has cut off his nose to spite his face.
The Battle of Bács is joined on the 19th of November, 1147. Simon and Gilbert’s combined armies number over 15,000, two-thirds of which belonging to the former. The peasant army, despite sporting a 500-man cavalry and having had almost a whole year to prepare for this inevitable battle, numbered less than three and a half thousand. Nearly half were wiped out before the rest fled the field. Their leader surrendered to the kaiser’s forces and the rebellion dispersed.
The very next day, Simon applied to join the Hermetic Society. His grandmother’s Magnum Opus on alchemy also contained notes on administering a large realm, notes that he sorely needed, for the 8 castles he already held were beginning to stretch him thin. But the entire volume was written in a code that Simon could not easily decipher without help from the Hermetics, so with no other options he submitted an application. Fortunately the Hermetics were more than happy to welcome Amalie von Habsburg’s grandson to their ranks, and with a little investigation, Simon found a Hermetic cryptologist who helped him decode Amalie’s work.
That December brought two great pieces of news. Firstly, Burchard von Habsburg was engaged again, this time to someone closer to his own age: Ermengard von Nordheim, daughter of Duke Dieter of Bavaria (and also half of Italy). A more perfect match Simon couldn’t have made himself. Ermengard holds many strong claims to Bavaria as well as Tuscany, Spoleto, Abruzzo, Corsica, Modena, and Jerid. Whether or not Burchard or any children he and Ermengard had would push these claims was entirely in their hands, as they were independent of Simon.
The other good news was closer to home: with so many important people coming and going from Basel, plenty of smallfolk were looking to put down new roots in the county to make a living, providing goods and services to the traveling nobility. Yet the dense forests throughout the county were restricting where new homes could be built. A logger’s guild sent a representative to Simon’s court to ask for a royal contract to clear land in Basel for a new settlement. Simon agreed to fund the project so long as he retained the right to dictate how the land would be developed.
As 1147 gave way to 1148, Simon also had to consider the Electoral College. For some mysterious reason he was still not allowed to put his own name forward yet, so he had to select a different candidate, and it was looking increasingly unlikely that Burchard would garner significant support. With Gilbert already in his fifties and Simon recently entered in his twenty-third year, the next selection of emperor would be pivotal if Gilbert died before Christine. Only on her death could her claim pass to Simon and his candidacy for emperor considered. Meinhard of Brandenburg had three votes for him already: Franconia; Saxony, and himself. He was also similarly old and would likely not have a very long reign if elected. Simon decided to wager his dream on Meinhard's lifespan and had his secretary write and send his new vote to the College.
On 3 February, Simon said goodbye to his faithful—albeit incompetent in recent years—spymaster Lothar. In his place Simon selected Duchess Maura of Carniola, an insightful and skilled collector of gossip, and a bit touched in the head, but pure of heart and imbued with an impenetrable sense of loyalty to her king. It was not long, though, before she had to deliver her first piece of bad news to Simon: His apprentice and cousin by marriage Constança de Cerdanya was imprisoned on 11 April trying to break into the lab of the Bishop of Fleurry, Bertrand the Inquisitor! Simon wanted nothing more than to ransom his friend, but the royal coffers were still empty from the expensive logging contract. Constança would have to wait, a shame as she was seven months pregnant with her husband Ludwig von Habsburg’s child. In the meanwhile, Simon needed a new apprentice and picked Duke Ják Dömötör.
In late May, the King summons Duchess Maura to his private audience chamber to discuss domestic affairs. Simon smoothly brings up the kingdom’s financial troubles. Maura picks up the subtext and offers to make a sizable donation to the treasury in return for being granted a favor of her choosing in the future. Simon agrees to the deal.
June of 1148 sees two births: Wolfram von Habsburg, son of Ludwig and Constança; and the birth of a second Hungarian independence rebellion. As before, Simon raises his armies to march into southern Pannonia and suppress the revolt. Meanwhile Dömötör suggests that the two of them require a laboratory to conduct more efficient and effective research for the Hermetic Society. Simon agrees but is still hamstrung by debt for the moment. Before setting out to meet the troops amassing at Esztergom, Simon receives an unexpected guest at Habsburg Castle: Meinhard of Brandenburg!
“My lord!” said Simon, “I am happy to see you! What brings you to my humble family home?”
“The war,” Meinhard told him. The empire was currently defending the Kingdom of Aragon from a Moorish attack. “I’m just passing by on the way to Iberia, and I can’t stay long, but I thought I’d stop by briefly to ask for your support in the Electoral College.”
“Well, if you must be brief, then I can send you on your way already! I already wrote to the College to declare my support for you at the beginning of the year!”
“Forgive me, your majesty, but it appears we are operating on two different sets of facts. I visited Mainz on my way here, and the prince-bishop says that your last recorded vote was for Duke Meinhard of Thurgau.”
“Meinhard of Thurgau? There must be some mistake, I remember giving clear instructions to put your name forth!” Simon calls for his secretary and a copy of the letter sent to the prince-bishop. The trembling secretary hands Simon a piece of parchment with just two words: “Duke Meinhard.”
Simon repeated the words and crumpled the paper in his hands as his lips emphasized each consonant. The secretary swallowed hard. Simon grabbbed him by the scruff of the neck and thrust him in front of their guest.
“This is Meinhard Udonen, the lord of Brandenburg,” he said with a fury rarely seen. “What is the title for the lords of Brandenburg?”
“M-margrave, my king,” stammered the secretary.
“Very good, a margrave. And yet you sent this letter to the Prince-Bishop of Mainz with the word ‘Duke’ written on it and not even so much as a hint of further detail as to which Meinhard you were referring!”
“Forgive me, my lord! The fault was due entirely to my carelessness!”
“Do not ask for my forgiveness, fool! Ask it of the man in front of you, if you can remember how to address him!” He threw the man onto his knees in front of Meinhard.
“I humbly beg your forgiveness…my lord…Margrave,” the secretary said with slow, deliberate caution, desperate not to make another error.
“I suppose there is no harm done,” Meinhard told him. “It’s not like an election happened between now and then. The error can be corrected.”
“Yes, but can the man?” Simon wondered aloud. “You will compose a corrected ballot to be sent out, but it will be shown to me before the messenger takes it to Mainz,” he directed the secretary. “And if you wish to write again on behalf of your king, you will also compose and present to him a list of all the living landed nobility in the empire, complete with titles, styles, family names, epithets, dates of birth and marriage, and familial relationships to one another. Did your simple brain get all that?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
Simon approved and mailed his new ballot on the eighth of August. So, naturally, the Margrave of Brandenburg, Meinhard Udonen ‘the Great,’ died of a heart attack precisely one week later. By September he had a new secretary, and a former one leaving the castle clutching a half-finished book.
The last major event of 1148 was the Battle of Szintarev, sometimes called the second battle of Bács, in middle to late October, which saw King Simon keenly display a growing proficiency in leading flanking maneuvers against the Hungarian separatists. With yet another victory to his name, Simon broke the spirits of the upstarts, and this time the rebels were well and truly scattered to the wind. As spring began, he had the brain wave to mentor his bride-to-be Zsanett, both to get to know her before their wedding day and to mold her into a suitable queen. Despite the unusual request, her father consented on 18 March 1149.
Four days later, Duke Buonconte of Ferrara officially declared that he was going to war against Kaiser Gilbert to put Burgondo of Friuli on the imperial throne. He was joined by Burgundo, as well as Gottfried of Brabant, Agnes of Gelre, Bertrand of Provence, and Torchitoriu of Sardinia. Despite his displeasure with the current kaiser, Simon did not want to jeopardize his own chances at the throne, and so declared his support of the current regime. Sadly, not even a month into the war, Death robbed Simon of his marshal, Duke Nandor, and so Gerlach, the wandering knight, found himself the new marshal of Bohemia on 11 April.
While the Habsburg forces are consolidating outside Prag over the summer, Spymaster Maura comes to the king one morning with a request.
“My king, as you remember, you promised me that in exchange for my financial support I asked that you grant me a request when I had need of it. The day I must make that request has come.”
“What can I do for you, Maura?” asked Simon somewhat nervously, fearing she’d ask for her money back, or land, or something else he’d be reluctant to part with.
“I seek the crown’s consent to marry Pelegrine di Zori.”
Simon had to pause to put a face to a name. Finally it clicked.
“The hunchback?!” he exclaimed in surprise.
“Lord di Zori may not have good looks in the conventional sense, but he is a good man, endearingly shy, and he is of noble blood, being the grandson of a Duke of Sardinia. We love and care for each other. Do I have the crown’s approval?”
“Um…sure,” Simon says, still more than a bit shocked and confused, but most importantly relieved. “The crown wishes you and Pelegrine a lifetime of happiness.”
“Thank you, my lord!” Maura curtsied and left the room.
“Of all the unexpected events in these last seven years, that had to be the most unexpected,” Simon said to the empty room when he was certain Maura was out of earshot. “I’m almost grateful to be going out on campaign again, I think the air here is driving the court insane.”
By September, all 12,000 of Simon’s troops had assembled and were beginning to move north, where the bulk of the enemy was concentrated. Simon managed to catch the slightly larger enemy force of over 13,000 in an ambush outside the city of Magdeburg on the 20th of October. Simon’s right flank was directly across from the enemy left, commanded by Buonconte himself. Despite Simon’s best efforts, the Italian managed to regroup his men and hammer away at Simon’s position, as happened to Commander Rajmund’s flank on the opposite side of the battlefield. Simon faced down an armored bishop named Sesto in a duel, and managed to drive the Impaler through his opponent’s wrist and forced him to make haste for the field surgeon’s tent. The battle was saved by the center, led by Daniil, who managed to break the enemy formation before Simon had to reluctantly start his own retreat. Daniil’s troops pinwheeled around to force back Buonconte’s depleted ranks, then turn round and assaulted the enemy’s right flank. The disgraced former marshal had redeemed his honor and the Habsburgs had won the day, but not without significant loss: 5,000 lives on the Bohemian-Pannonia side were spent, compared to only 4,000 rebels. After the battle, Marshal Gerlach found a commoner who had stepped up to lead a division of the center flank when the nobleman officer in command had been slain by an arrow. The man, named Gottschalk, was awarded a commission and named a commander in his own right, and it would be the start of an illustrious military career for him.
While the battle was going on, on the 25th of October, Simon received word informing him that some young woman named Oda had apparently finished her education while sitting in his dungeon.
“I didn’t even know I had any one in the dungeons!” Simon said to the room in surprise. He discovered that in fact, Oda was one of three prisoners, all female, captured 9 years ago. Simon orders any valuables they have confiscated to the crown and then all three of them are released. The next day, with his coffers replenished thanks to the seizures, he orders his laboratory to begin construction on a remote compound outside Basel.
With the main rebel force in retreat and winter bringing about the end of the campaign season anyway, Simon could devote some more of his time to continue mentoring Zsanett. By the time of her 16th birthday on 21 February 1150, not only has she picked up many military tactics from following the troops, but she has acquired Simon’s work ethic, as well! Simon makes a short detour to Prag to wed for a second time on the first of March, in full royal spectacle. Zsanett is breathtaking as she walks down the aisle, already dressed and made up like a queen before she even can use the title. While she may be suspicious and prone to schemes (or outbursts when the schemes fall apart), she and Simon are nonetheless happy in each other’s company. A small hole remains in Simon’s heart for Amalberga, but when he is with Zsanett, that hole hurts less. Whether or not that would translate to intimate passion was not important to Simon, just like it had been in his first marriage, but he knew he could not rule without a trusted partner, or an heir.
I hope I have not disappointed you, he says in silent prayer to Amalberga as he and Zsanett leave the church to greet the people for the first time as husband and wife, I know you’d want me to be happy, and I confess that I am, despite wanting not to be, as long as you are no longer here. I will take that as a sign of your approval. Know that I still long to be reunited with you in the next world, but for now, I think I’ll stay in this one for just a little longer.
Next Time… Simon continues to fight to defend the land he hopes to one day rule.
Burchard von Habsburg was engaged again, this time to someone closer to his own age: Ermengard von Nordheim, daughter of Duke Dieter of Bavaria (and also half of Italy). A more perfect match Simon couldn’t have made himself.
Simon approved and mailed his new ballot on the eighth of August. So, naturally, the Margrave of Brandenburg, Meinhard Udonen ‘the Great,’ died of a heart attack precisely one week later.
“Of all the unexpected events in these last seven years, that had to be the most unexpected,” Simon said to the empty room when he was certain Maura was out of earshot.
not only has she picked up many military tactics from following the troops, but she has acquired Simon’s work ethic, as well! Simon makes a short detour to Prag to wed for a second time on the first of March, in full royal spectacle.
Interesting that we have the whole Simon feels guilty about replacing Amalberga thing. What happened to his male lover?
Let the Habsburgs rise... perhaps a few more marriages are in order? After all, “let others wage war, you, O happy Austria, marry”. Actually, do these Habsburgs even own Austria?
Whenever I make someone important a shieldmaiden they end up losing a body part rather quickly, so actually I’m rather grateful that I didn’t have the option/temptation this game!
But don’t worry, I used my imagination to give Zsanett an important military role in an upcoming chapter! Might even be today’s chapter, I worked on them so long they’ve all blended into one!
I’ve always been of the opinion that Simon considered Amalberga his life partner, like a sister, a relationship on a completely separate plane from his preference of sexual partners. So the loss of her was rough on him.
I didn’t think of it this way at the time I wrote all this, but IRL my best friend is a girl I’ve known now for 18 years, and for reference I’m not yet 25. I refer to her as my sister even though we have no blood relation. We’re both hopelessly single so we’ve joked that if we’re not married by a certain age we’ll have a paper marriage for tax purposes, because we’re not sexually attracted to each other in the slightest. That’s how I imagine Simon saw his marriage to Amalberga, one based more on friendship and emotional support than on sexual desire. So just like I’ll feel devastated if my sister predeceases me, Simon felt devastated to lose Amalberga.
As for Kyros Macrodoukas, he and Simon write but Kyros is back home in Anatolia, and tbh I forgot about him after a while in playing the game (it’s not like the game was going to remind me of his existence with pregnancy events). I did do some research for the epilogue, though, so you’ll learn his life story on Monday!
Yes, Burchard is Duke of Austria and Steiermark/Styria, but he’s a vassal to the emperor, not Simon.
Quick shameless stream plug: if chat permits me to play Habsburgs, I think I’m gonna make Austria my #1 objective in CK3 because I was really bummed that I didn’t end up getting the title on my player character and taking the form the Archduchy decision.
Newlywed King Simon II had little time to enjoy his second marriage’s beginning. By the 4th of March, less than a fortnight since the wedding, he was back on the battlefield, this time in Münster, facing the rebellious Duke Buonconte’s army. In a rare moment, the Habsburgs were forced into a retreat after Buonconte led his right flank in a brutal assault on Simon’s left, commanded by the Bohemian Count Rajmund of Saaz. Simon was not entirely surprised at this result: the Italian rebels had attacked his 8,700-man force with a whopping near-12,000 of their own.
The rebels pursued Simon into the county of Paderborn, where there was a brief but unbalanced skirmish that sees Simon lose another 534 men on top of the 2,300 he lost at Münster. Buonconte had lost a mere 744 men between both fights.
Not all news is bad, however. On the final day of May 1150, after much time and monetary expense, Simon’s Hermetic laboratory was completed. He eagerly awaited the end of the rebellion so he could actually use it. For now, though, it was time to regroup and re-strategize. Thankfully Buonconte had lost interest in hounding the Habsburgs after word reached him that the Kaiser’s army of 10,000-plus troops was approaching the rebel-aligned Netherlands from the south.
In between managing his army, Simon managed his family. His cousin Burchard, the Duke of Austria-Steiermark, had been diagnosed with the Great Pox in late March. Apparently the 18-year-old was not content to wait until his marriage to the Duke of Bavaria’s youngest daughter, Ermengarde von Nordheim. After Burchard only his younger brother Aldrich stood in the way of an Otakeren restoration, as the boys had a 7-year-old half-sister named Berchte Otakeren. Simon decided to match her with Wolfram von Habsburg, a tall and quick-witted boy who had the potential to be a wise and respected co-ruler if Fate bestowed him the opportunity. One catch, however: Wolfram and his mother Contança were still imprisoned in Fleurry. But by a stroke of luck, Bertrand the Inquisitor had died and the new bishop of Fleurry was more than willing to accept a small ransom for the 2-year-old and his mother. With Wolfram and his mother back in court, his betrothal to Berchte was formalized on August the third, and Habsburg Austria now had an insurance policy.
August also saw Simon revamp his lineup of generals in his army. Rajmond and Daniil were clearly in over their head as the last two battles had demonstrated. While the King remained on the right flank, the Rajmund's left flank was given to Duke Fulöp of Ungwar, and Daniil was removed from command of the center and replaced by the freshly-minted commander Gottschalk.
When the time came to redeploy from Hungary, the war council decided to avoid the rebel capital duchy of Ferrara. Despite being a high-value target and already partially occupied (thanks, Gilbert!), there had been troubling reports of measles in the city and surrounding counties. Instead, they marched to Brabant, to remove Buonconte’s largest supporter from the board and remain closer to Gilbert’s army, which had been forced to pull back to Switzerland following a narrow defeat by Buonconte in the county of Verdun.
The new campaign got off to a good start. In February, the Habsburg army met a rebel scouting division of just 75 men outside the bishopric of Prüm, a parish in the county of Jülich, nestled in the countryside between the cities of Köln, Trier, Luxembourg, and Liege. After wiping out the scouts with their tenfold numbers, the Habsburgs began besieging Brussels just as spring was getting ready to start on 17 March 1151. With winter stores depleted and access to their fields cut off, the Brabantians surrendered after just under a full two months of siege.
So naturally, the time was ripe for more bad news from the home front. The Queen Mother, Christine von Pommern, Countess of Augsburg and Fürstenberg and former Duchess Regnant of Swabia, died a natural death on May the twenty-eighth, at the age of 51. Simon’s heart fell to know that she had died with him away. She was laid to rest in a splendid funeral befitting a queen and the daughter of an emperor.
Simon’s heart fell further upon realizing that he had not the resources to manage both of his mother’s counties in addition to the ones already in his demesne. He decided that he was not willing to part with Augsburg, for it had been his mother’s primary residence and the place she always considered home. As for Fürstenberg, there were simply no adult male Habsburgs at the time who didn't already stand to inherit something. Instead, Simon decided to elevate a minor baron from the county to be its new lord: Friedrich of the minor house of von Hohenzollern, a house Simon was sure would forever be unremarkable but loyal allies of the Habsburgs.
There are, however, two silver linings to the death of Christine. For one, Simon now had a strong claim to the Duchy of Swabia, and another on the entire empire. And thankfully the Electors seemed rather enthusiastic to support that claim, overawed by Simon’s intelligence, prestige, and virtuous nature unblemished by the vices of the material world. The only voices that stood opposed were the Kaiser and the Duke of Franconia, for truly unknowable reasons. Surely the fact that Simon had once tried to murder the Duke's child had no influence on his vote.
Gilbert showed no signs of popping off just yet, despite approaching his fifty-fifth birthday. For the time being, it was the claim to Swabia that Simon had the most opportunity to press. On the 15th of June, 1151, twelve-year-old Duke Thomas of Swabia received a declaration of war. He had fewer than 1,000 troops to raise in his defense against the 13,000 potential levies commanded between Simon and his vassals.
Bellicose feelings were in the air, apparently, as just three days later, a second rebellion sprung up with its own imperial candidate. This new rebellion was led by Duke Lothar-Udo Udonen of Bremen and Meissen, who would become Margrave of Brandenburg eleven days later after defeating his younger brother Siegmund. He declared that he would depose Emperor Gilbert in favor of Duke Gottfried III of Brabant…who was fighting alongside Duke Buonconte to install Duke Burgondo of Friuli…who had previously supported Lothar-Udo’s late father Meinhard for the throne. When Simon (and the author) realized all this, they could only shake their heads. But even that was not the end of the confusion, as Lothar-Udo was still, even in rebellion, an Elector. Despite having started a war for someone else's claim, it appeared that Lothar-Udo's real top pick for emperor might have been someone else, even if that someone was on the other side of the war...
As before, Simon chose to support the status quo. While Gilbert was not yet slowing down, he was the elder to each of the pretenders and therefore Simon’s shortest route to the throne himself, if he stayed in the Electors’ good graces. For now, though, Swabia had his full attention. An extremely small but important battle was held on 17 August, outside Duke Thomas’ castle of Tubingen, in which 1,400 Habsburg troops routed 900 Swabians. The successive siege lasted for exactly two months to the day, and the city of Heiligenberg followed suit in another month’s time. A week and a day after that, on 19 November 1151, Thomas sent a note to Simon declaring his desire to surrender in small, neat handwriting. Swabia was restored.
After all this fighting, Simon was in need of a relaxing holiday season. Returned to Habsburg Castle, he is excited to receive a letter from Kyros Macrodoukas. That is, until he read its contents. After finishing it and burning it in the fireplace, he stormed into Zsanett’s chamber and angrily dismissed her maid.
“I’ve just received a very concerning letter from my friend Kyros,” he began. “He says that you have demanded that he and I no longer correspond.”
“Just your friend?” Zsanett remarked with false concern. “My, my, if poor Kyros could hear you speak, husband! How unjustly you belittle your relationship to him.”
“What do you speak of?” Simon inquired, metering his choice of words and trying hard not to let his face betray his thoughts.
“Come, now, husband, you and I both know perfectly well that putting down these rebellions is not the only factor keeping you from my bed. We will have been married two years come February and yet no heir to your throne grows in my womb. And yet you write so frequently to Kyros, even more than to me. Even one without an intellect such as ours could have put together that puzzle.”
“So how else do you intend to act upon this information?” asked Simon, letting out only a hint of the concern welling up inside him.
“Fear not, Simon, I have no intention of exposing you and Kyros needlessly. I have no evidence other than the fact that Kyros did honor my request and your reaction here in front of me. What I want is simple: I want a child, and I want to be by your side and in your tent when you go off to war again. You know firsthand of my capabilities as a military advisor; you tutored me yourself. Allow me to return the favor instead of being left alone here.”
“I can grant you that but I make no promises on the matter of the child,” Simon told her. “It has been long since I last laid with a woman, and I am no longer sure if I can…complete my full husbandly duties.”
“All I ask is for you to try,” Zsanett said, now suddenly soothing. “If there is something that I can do to make it easier, we will never find out if you continue to estrange yourself from me. You owe this not just to your wife but to your people. If you face Buonconte again and he strikes you down on the field of battle, do you truly think your vassals would follow your brother Martin? A lesser mind who has lost one crown already? What fool would count on him being able to hold two more?”
“One could make the argument that having been robbed of one kingdom, Martin deserves at least one of mine in compensation,” countered Simon, “speaking as one who has just recently reclaimed a stolen birthright.”
“And who would benefit from such an arrangement? Martin, being given a consolation prize instead of the throne he once held and was promised? Your vassals, handed over to a once-failed king? Your family, led by a lesser branch of your house? The realm, bereft of the stability and prosperity you and an heir of your body could provide?” At the last thought her eyes seemed to sparkle with new life. Simon was reminded of their wedding day. The happiness he’d felt on that day had been swallowed up by the chaos he’d spent the past two years trying to put down. It had happened so gradually, he had barely noticed it diminishing. The look in Zsanett’s eyes drew it back out of him and it swelled within his chest, hitting him afresh as it had on that day. The bitter fighting, the loss of his mother, he had so far tried to shoulder all that pain and fatigue on his own. It was time to try a new approach.
“I will make no promises as to the result of your plans, Zsanett, but I will promise to try.” That night he shared her bed for the first time in a long while, and although he still felt nowhere near as comfortable or as himself as he had been with Kyros, Zsanett’s efforts to ease him made the experience better than it had been on previous nights.
Time marched on, and Simon’s armies had to do likewise. Now numbering over 9,000 and growing even more as they passed through the towns of Lombardy, the time had come for them to march on Ferrara. Zsanett, as promised, came with them, despite numerous objections from the kingdom’s generals and other members of court. Waiting for them were 5,200 of Buonconte’s men, attempting to starve out the loyalist garrison. On the 15th of February 1152 the two armies met in battle outside the Bishopric of Commachio. The Habsburg’s numbers were slightly negated by having to cross a tributary of the Po River to attack the rebel position, but thanks to Zsanett’s sharp eye and wise council as Simon reconnoitered the battlefield, a strategy was devised. Simon led his trusty right flank in an initial assault at the narrowest point in the river, where it was easiest to ford. He and Buonconte were directly across each other on the battlefield as was expected, as Buonconte favored leading his left flank as much as Simon favored the right. While the enemy’s resources and attention were devoted to preventing Simon from breaking through, the Habsburg left flank forded the Po at a different location, one more difficult to cross but which secured them a solid position from which to drive through the enemy’s center and connect with Simon’s division. The plan worked seamlessly, and as Buonconte’s right and center columns folded Simon ordered a devastating arrow barrage. Buonconte’s troops lost all heart as their comrades dropped like flies around them, and he was forced to abandon his home to continued enemy occupation. In all over 1,600 losses were suffered by the Italians, while the Habsburg casualties were not even a third that.
Simon declared Ferrara to be firmly secured in the name of the emperor, and decided to backtrack to the city of Treviso and capture it, securing a more direct route back towards Austria and Pannonia. Quite surprisingly, Duke Burchard von Habsburg of Austria-Steiermark had cast his lot with Margrave Lothar-Udo. While the siege of Treviso began, Zsanett approached Simon again with an offer. She had apparently been organizing a plot to…speed up Simon’s ascension to the emperorship. Simon was disturbed at first, recalling his own past embarrassments with such plots, but Zsanett once again proved her persuasiveness. Gilbert’s armies were disorganized and plagued by indecisiveness and cowardice. In fact, they had just sent word that they would be joining in the siege of Treviso despite being totally superfluous and only adding a strain to the supply of food to the besiegers. The sooner Simon became emperor, Zsanett reasoned, the sooner he’d have command over all the empire’s forces and could execute an actual unified strategy to end the rebellions once and for all.
Lothar-Udo decided to take the opportunity while both Simon and Gilbert were at Treviso to besiege Schwaben. The ravaged county fell quickly to the rebel assaults, but Simon was not worried. Once Buonconte was dealt with, Lothar-Udo would no longer have the benefit of the distraction Ferrara provided. But Zsanett was more concerned that if Buonconte was not finished swiftly, many more provinces would need to be liberated before Lothar-Udo would consider laying down arms. So leaving the emperor behind in Treviso, the Habsburgs finally marched on Ferrara itself. Arriving at the castle in late July, over the next month and a half Simon wore down the defenses until they capitulated, then stormed the bishopric of Commachio and the city of Tresigallo. Surprisingly, Buonconte held on and refused to throw in the towel, so Simon decided to take another rebel stronghold in Arles. When the castle surrendered the following February, Buonconte finally offered his surrender. He and all his co-conspirators were quickly arrested and thrown into the emperor’s dungeon.
Simon drank with his men and then retired to his tent to have a quiet cup of wine with Zsanett. Having her on the trail had been better than expected. Not only had her advice proved invaluable, but the intimacy of their marriage had benefitted as well. Simon was learning that perhaps he was not fully disinterested in the female form after all, but could appreciate both in almost equal measure. Almost.
Zsanett seemed happier than she had been the past several days. Her father, Duke Árpád Géza II, Simon’s renowned chancellor, had passed away in mid-August from the stress of his job. His replacement had been Duke Dömötör, who had the golden combination of being both competent and a loyal friend. But now Zsanett seemed to be glowing with newfound happiness.
“Well, my dear husband,” Zsanett said with one hand holding a raised cup and the other her middle, “a toast to both your victories, for I have glad news of my own to tell you.”
Next Time… Simon finds out that family can be as much a source of drama as a battlefield. But can he end the wars plaguing his homeland?
Now he can get the society to build him handguns, and his wife can build him some good heirs! Things are looking up for the Hapsburgs. Cept those Hozenhollens. I don't trust their even more inbred character.
So the number in the top right of the electors’ portraits is how many votes they’re worth. Bishops are worth 2 because Papal Investiture is in effect. The scores are arbitrary, but here’s the full wiki page if you’re super curious.
“Candidate score” means how highly that individual elector values the person they are currently voting for, who is always the candidate who has the most score with that elector. Essentially it’s the score your candidate has to beat unless you plan to use a favor to strongarm the elector.
“Your candidate” is the score the person you’re voting for has with that elector.
So for example, the Kaiser values his own son higher than me for the throne because his son is of the same dynasty and culture as him and is his child. That gives Onfroy bonus points in Kaiser Gilbert’s eyes but is mostly irrelevant in the consideration of the other electors. The fact that Onfroy is French when the other electors are German is actually a liability, in fact, and lowers his score with them.
Hope that kinda makes sense. I didn’t want to dive too deep in the weeds since I linked the wiki page.
So the number in the top right of the electors’ portraits is how many votes they’re worth. Bishops are worth 2 because Papal Investiture is in effect. The scores are arbitrary, but here’s the full wiki page if you’re super curious.
“Candidate score” means how highly that individual elector values the person they are currently voting for, who is always the candidate who has the most score with that elector. Essentially it’s the score your candidate has to beat unless you plan to use a favor to strongarm the elector.
“Your candidate” is the score the person you’re voting for has with that elector.
So for example, the Kaiser values his own son higher than me for the throne because his son is of the same dynasty and culture as him and is his child. That gives Onfroy bonus points in Kaiser Gilbert’s eyes but is mostly irrelevant in the consideration of the other electors. The fact that Onfroy is French when the other electors are German is actually a liability, in fact, and lowers his score with them.
Hope that kinda makes sense. I didn’t want to dive too deep in the weeds since I linked the wiki page.
Lothar-Udo Udonen was sitting down to dinner in his castle of Stade, overlooking the mouth of the River Elbe where it met the Gulf of Heligoland. It was the eleventh of March, 1153. Fires roared inside the castle to hold off the chills that tried desperately to worm their way in, but even those lingering breaths of winter were getting milder and milder with each passing day. The start of spring was not far off. Hopefully by the end of it his armies out in the field would have captured the Schweinfurt in Franconia or the castle of Weimar and secured major victories against the emperor. They sorely needed it. Their numbers had been thinned slightly in a battle in Alsace the previous August, against Buonconte of Ferrara. A battle that was now less than pointless as Buonconte had caved to the emperor’s calls for him to surrender. Now the Italian and his other conspirators were all in prison: Gottfried of Brabant, Torchitoriu of Sardinia, Bertrand of Provence, and Agnes of Gelre. Lothar-Udo shuddered to think of what terrible possibilities awaited them in the dungeon of the emperor. Word was starting to spread that the emperor was mad, perhaps even possessed by a demon, and that was only enflaming his natural penchant for cruelty. But Lothar-Udo tried not to worry about that too much. He knew he would not meet the same fate.
It was fish for dinner again. Bremen was isolated from his other holdings. On the other side of the Elbe was French Holstein, and just to the east of them, the pagans of Obotritia. Surrounding the rest of the duchy were counties loyal to Gilbert Scarponnois. Supply lines to the capital of the rebellion were an infrequent trickle, so they had to make do with the local resources. That meant many meals of cod, haddock, or, like tonight, mackerel. Lothar-Udo was especially famished that evening, and he ate several helpings with gusto before his wife had the opportunity to make a comment: “Does this fish taste a bit…off to you, husband?”
Indeed, it had tasted a bit different than mackerel they’d had previous evenings. A little sourer. Lothar-Udo asked one of the servants to make an inquiry about when the fish had been caught. It was well-known that mackerel had to be eaten the same day it was caught, unless it was properly cured or put on ice. By the time the servant returned to inform the margrave that the fish was indeed a day old, his master was already suffering from blurry vision, cramps, and respiratory distress inflamed by Lothar-Udo’s asthma. In one of his last moments of lucid thought, he reflected on the irony that the condition that had kept him from serving on the front lines of his armies was going to kill him in his own home instead.
Far away in a military camp in southern France, King Simon II von Habsburg received a messenger.
“So, Lothar-Udo is dead on account of bad fish, and his five-year-old son Filibert now leads the rebellion,” he read. “How opportune. Now Dauphiné, Alsace, and Burchard will be either attempting to usurp the boy or rethinking their allegiance to their cause entirely.”
Three weeks later, Simon arrived in the county of Forez in Dauphiné to try and make the choice clearer to Duchess Mariana di Lucca. He staved off boredom during the monotonous siege by corresponding with the Duke of Franconia, both to keep appraised of the siege there and to mend old wounds. A formal apology is enough to appease Duke Heinrich, who even pledged his vote to Simon in the College! Now the only dissenters to Simon’s ascension were Gilbert, who for obvious reasons was still putting forth his son Onfroy, and newly-appointed Prince-Bishop Michael of Mainz, who preferred Duke Heinrich.
Disturbing news came on the 6th of April, when it was heard that the imprisoned traitor Duke Buonconte had been released by Emperor Gilbert, but at the cost of his right eye. Simon, among many other German lords, is horrified and disgusted at Gilbert’s cruelty.
The castle of Couzan fell on 6 June 1153, followed in quick succession by the parish of Charlieu and the city of Montbrison, severely undercutting the rebellion’s progress, although there was still a way’s to go. Simon wondered why Gilbert would not simply end the rebellion by executing their candidate, Duke Gottfried, who was already in Gilbert’s prison, but then he recalled what had been done to Buonconte. Gilbert was not merely satisfied with defeating the rebellious lords but punishing them. It was surprising, therefore, when Duke Burgondo of Friuli, the man Buonconte had attempted to install in Gilbert’s place, got off with a mere public humiliation in the stockades in May. It seemed even more startling in retrospect when Duke Torchitoriu of Sardinia, whose involvement in the rebellion was relatively minor, had his right eye plucked out by Gilbert’s torturers on July 6th, same as Buonconte.
Ignore the fact that some of these people are deceased in the screenshot. I discovered their being butchered after their deaths in many cases and didn't have an earlier save from when they were mutilated but still alive. Sorry!
Simon and Zsanett welcomed their first child on the 4th of September, 1153, a daughter. The look in the girl’s eyes revealed the now famous trademark Habsburg intelligence, and so in honor of that Simon named her Sofie.
A few weeks later, while passing through Mainz, Zsanett went to be cleansed and receive holy communion. Simon stayed back with sweet little Sofie and was playfully blowing her a raspberry when to his horror Zsanett was forcibly dragged into his apartment.
“What the devil is the meaning of this?” he demanded of the guard after setting Sofie down in her bassinet. “How dare you treat your queen in such a manner!”
“Queen or not, a slut is a slut,” remarked the guard with disdain. “She choked on her communion wafer, Bishop Michael said ’twas her sinful body rejecting the body of our Lord. When she came to she was looking all wild-eyed and confessed that the child is not of royal blood.”
The guard walked over to the bassinet and rested a hand on the hilt of his dagger. “Shall I dispose of the bastard for you, Your Majesty?”
“Good heavens, man! Back away from there this instant! I will not condone the murder of a newborn babe who is blameless in this matter! Get out, GET OUT!” As the shocked guards shuffled out, Simon helped his wife to his feet. “Explain all this,” he asked in a tone that was not accusing but firm nonetheless.
“Your man got one thing right,” Zsanett began, “I did choke on the wafer, but because my throat was dry when I swallowed, not for any reason to do with sinfulness. As for the ‘confession,’ I was thrashing about in spasms from not being able to breathe while Bishop Michael was asking me questions I wasn’t fully listening to. I must have appeared to nod at the wrong time. I never said in words that Sofie was not yours.”
“Will you swear before me now that she is mine?” Simon asked.
“If that would put your heart and mind at ease, but would you not agree that she has your temperament? Her mind and soul mirror you as much as her body mirrors mine. Is that not sufficient proof?”
“All babes are sweet and kind when they are newly-born,” Simon countered, “and I am not the only one of us she could have inherited her brains from. You will swear before me that she is indeed my daughter.” Zsanett so swore. “That is all well and good, but unfortunately our word will not be weighted as heavily as that of an Arch-bishop. Michael will no doubt have told his version of events to as many people as he can, and the story will only spread from there. Although the three of us will know the truth, to the outside world Sofie will be marked a bastard all her life.”
That fall ended with more than one shocking discovery, when on 6 October a disfigured Duke Gottfried is released from prison and sent home in disgrace. Although at the rate at which Gilbert is maiming his political opponents, the amount of shock Simon and the other lords feel with each punishment is steadily declining.
Shortly afterward, Schwaben falls a second time to Udonen rebels after a brief liberation thanks to the Imperial Army. However the rebels, who number a little over 7,000 men, have blundered into a poor strategic position. To the west and north, in two divisions, was the Imperial Army of over 13,500 men in total. Coming in between them was Simon with another 8,400 abandoning a march on Bremen to try and sandwich the rebels and destroy their marauding army.
The armies met at Rottenburg on 26 November, 1153. The battle became a protracted campaign unto itself, lasting well into December before Simon observed a crack in discipline in the segment of the army directly across from him and calls for the full army to charge. He was rewarded on Christmas Day with a major victory and a captured enemy commander to boot.
Feelings were dampened somewhat in the new year when the Shia caliph, Ali Fatimid, declared a jihad to reclaim the HRE’s African provinces. Simon’s men knew that as the easternmost realm within the European portion of the Empire, Pannonia would inevitably bear a part of the Islamic attack, but that would have to be a problem for another day. For now, Stade had to fall. Almost a year to the day after Lothar-Udo’s death, a Habsburg army was on his castle’s doorstep laying siege. The stalwart Bremers held out all spring and into the summer, but their exhausted fisheries could only sustain them for so long, and in the final days of June they raised the white flag. Another month yielded the city of Beverstedt.
Three pieces of interesting news arrived as Simon considered his next move. The first and most mundane note concerned his cousin Hartwig, the Duke of Franche-Comté, who had decided to revoke the county of Amous from Benoîte d’Ivrea, ending the landholding days of the very dynasty through which he laid claim to his title. The second contained much more important information on the rebel army, which had decided to try and reclaim Forez. Simon considered rushing back down there, but opted instead to solidify imperial control over the other half of the duchy of Bremen: its archbishopric. But the third note was absolutely mortifying. Gilbert had released Duke Bertrand of Provence in April, but had removed one of Bertrand’s legs as punishment for his treason!
The entire process of besieging the Archbishopric of Bremen lasted until the following April. While that was going on, two big changes shook up the von Habsburg family. On October the eleventh, Simon’s brother Martin, Count of Krakow and former King of Poland, was assassinated on the orders of an unknown party. Simon’s first act as the new lord of Krakow was to order new walls be raised to deter future murder attempts. Happier news came from Zsanett on 10 March, 1155: she was pregnant again! Although the couple was happy to be adding another member to their little family, both were concerned about the child’s gender. They had purposefully held off on legitimizing the falsely-bastardized Sofie (I even checked using the console, she was 100% born IN wedlock) out of concern that it would prove pointless if they had a son at a later point. Ideally a son with just as much intelligence as his sister. Then not only would Simon have an heir that all could agree upon, but one that could potentially inherit the whole empire, if Simon could manage to do so himself.
The final rebel from Buonconte’s War also met her fate during the Siege of Bremen. Duchess Agnes of Gelre died on January 7th after having her leg forcefully amputated. As the only female rebel leader, rumors naturally circulated that Gilbert had either violated her before or after the removal, or even both. Regardless of the truth of those rumors, the concept of the Holy Roman Emperor torturing a woman of noble birth to death was sickening to all who heard. Simon prayed that night for God’s forgiveness for having thrown his support to such a wicked man.
Then on 22 May, the worst possible news reached Simon’s ears: Basel was besieged. Having liberated Forez, the rebel army had turned north to Switzerland. Simon and Zsanett make all possible haste with their armies towards home, stopping only briefly in Mainz where Simon continues to attempt to curry favor with its Archibishop-Elector. Simon was extremely interested in the possibility of a unanimous election, barring Gilbert’s recommendation of his own son, which didn’t technically count as Gilbert did not hold an Electorate and would be too dead to vote anyway on the day of the election. While rubbing elbows with the clergy, Simon learned that as feared, the Muslims were invading Pannonia, starting with Temes, but when it was time to leave he pressed on towards Basel.
The Battle of St-Ursanne began on 16 August, 1155 and was a high point for Simon in the war. Four days in, he encountered one of the enemy commanders, Lambert of Lubusz, the bastard half-brother of a minor baron in Meissen. Simon was shocked by his opponent’s age: Lambert was only 18 and showed it, even through the armor. The battlefield was clearly not his ideal environment, but he made an honest attempt to strike Simon and so the King somewhat reluctantly took out the Impaler and…well, did exactly what the name suggested. Lambert lay on the ground, very much in pain but very much still alive. Simon pressed on and from the right flank rolled his army through the enemy formation to victory. Lambert later sent a letter to Simon praising the king’s skill in combat and handsome looks, but died of his wounds before Simon had sent a response. All in all it was a remarkable feat, with only 340 Bohemian losses and 1,647 for the rebels, nearly half of the 4,100 that had started the battle.
Simon’s second daughter, named Christine in memory of her grandmother, was born on 4 October, 1155. Unfortunately she did not seem to be possessed of the same keen mind as her sister and to make matters worse, was very undersized. The succession issue had now gotten a little more complicated.
After spending the remainder of the fall laying siege to Alsace, Simon was called away to defend Basel once again when the rebels returned. The Battle of Delemont was a more even fight than St-Ursanne, but a victory for Bohemia nonetheless. Basel, paradoxically, was continuing to prosper despite having hosted two battles in quick succession, and Simon was once again asked to sponsor a development scheme, which he agreed to. He to pursued the rebels to Grenoble by mid-March 1156, where despite the disadvantageous terrain, he culled another 600 from their ranks at the cost of only 47 of his own men. As the rebels retreated into France, Simon decided to stay and retake at least part of Forez before moving on. After securing the castle of Couzan and some emergency funds from the Church to relieve the deficit he’d taken on, he turned back north to Alsace at the end of June where the rebels are regrouping.
Commander Gottschalk finally had his opportunity to shine in the battle of Kolmar, in Sundgau county, which began on 16 September, 1156. This time it was his center column that broke the rebel line first (although Simon’s right flank followed suit soon after). At this point the rebels were so weary and discouraged that the Habsburg army felled nearly 20 men for each of their own, which was almost exactly the same as their losses at Grenoble.
Shortly after Christine’s first birthday, on 13 October, Simon finished his book on relationships that he had been steadily working on for the past ten years. Titled “Speculum Regale,” it was widely circulated among the German nobility and became a favorite of children, as it was written as if the author was a father talking to a son, but secretly contained wisdom for the adult reading the book aloud.
Still not slowing down, however, Simon secured the imperial grip on Sundgau by capturing both the parish of Murbach and the city of Kolmar itself, with the help of a new siege commander from Russia named Roman Borisovich Romanov. A former chieftain of Don-Portage in the Rurikid kingdom of Chernigov, Roman had had his authority revoked by the Crown Prince Alexandr Rurikid, later King Alexandr II, who had been invested as High Chief of Sarkel just one day prior. Roman had then served Alexandr and his son Vladimir II as a landless commander for nine years, and had gotten quite good at it, to hear him tell it.
The now all-too-familiar drudgery of sieging was broken up by news that arrived on the first day of December: Burchard von Habsburg had finally managed to produce an heir named Alois, who was strong, smart, and ridiculously long. But as the saying goes, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. A little over a fortnight later, Duke Hartwig von Habsburg of Franche-Comté died just days before his fortieth birthday, apparently due to dehydration from excessive diarrhea. The death of Hartwig put Simon in a somber mood for several weeks, as they had developed a strong friendship over the course of Hartwig’s tenure as Steward of the realm.
Now more determined than ever to end the seven years of continuous fighting, Simon marched one last time towards Dauphiné, where the rebels were once again attempting to liberate. This time he intercepted them at Escuens on 19 December 1156. 1,200 rebels were forced to defend against a Habsburg army that was quite diminished from its previous bulk but still outnumbered them five to one. The same pattern at Kolmar played out again to even more unbelievable results. The center collapsed and Simon capitalized on that to break the enemy’s left flank, and then the whole army descended on the third and final rebel column. Habsburg losses were a mere 19. The rebels’ were 654, over 34 times greater. The writing was on the wall. Filibert Udonen surrendered, and the empire was finally—if only internally—at peace. There was still the matter of the jihad to address, as well as a war for Syrte that had been going on since January 1153 that was so static and minor that neither Simon nor Gilbert had paid it any attention for the almost four years of its duration.
The end of the rebellions also meant that Simon could now focus fully on the issue of his succession. It had gone on for far too long. As the laws stood at the moment, Christine, as the only legitimate child (in the eyes of the world), stood to inherit everything but Bohemia, which still used agnatic succession. But now, securely the undisputed king one decade into his reign, Simon was able to get the approval of his vassal lords to expand the law to agnatic-cognatic. He also decided that for the time being, with no son on the way, he had to leave his kingdom in the most capable hands possible. And so, on the ninth of January, 1157, Sofie von Habsburg was legitimized as the trueborn Habsburg she was, and became heir to all of her father’s titles.
“And that’s not all,” Simon told her when she had calmed down a little at being told the news. “I’ve arranged a match for you as well. When both of you are of age, you will wed your second cousin Alois, the future Duke of Austria-Steiermark, and your children will reunite our family’s lands under one banner.”
Next Time… Simon endures a rough patch but finds a rewarding payoff at the end…
Yes, apparently the post-pregnancy event chain for Christians can result in false confessions of adultery leading to 100% legitimate children being declared bastards. I checked Sofie using the console and there was no “Real Father: Duke Joe Schmo” entry like there is for real bastards. Simon II is her father, I just fell victim to a very strange and frustrating event chain.
Things are looking positive for the Habsburg family in the year 1157. King Simon II ruled Bohemia, Pannonia, and the Habsburgs’ ancestral seat in Transjurania. He also ruled over Swabia and the county of Krakow. In all, the king had ten castles in his name. Basel and Habsburg were the two original, joined in Transjurania by Genève and Lausanne, also known as Genf and Losanen in German. They resided in the counties of Genfergau (Genevois) and Vaud, respectively. Next came Komaron (Komárom in Magyar), the royal seat of the old Hungarian kings and queens in Esztergom, also called Gran by the Germans. Her sisters were the other royal castles of Prague and Krakow. Lastly there were Vysehrad, also in Prague County, Kempten Castle in Augsburg, and Brno in Brünn, Moravia.
All those castles required administering, however, and now that the two rebellions were over Simon had more time to dedicate to learning what he could about financial management, but it still was too much for one man to handle by himself. And so in March he awarded Vysehrad to a new baron named Jakob.
The change left Simon much more able to balance his time ruling his own lands and advising the emperor he one day hoped to succeed. Shortly after the announcement of Jakob’s elevation, Kaiser Gilbert approached Simon after a council meeting.
“King Simon, you and I may not agree upon much, but we can agree that your word carries much weight on this council. I’m considering proposing a new law that may not be well-received without your support on the matter. If you would help me convince the others to see it passed, I would consider myself in your debt.”
“By my count you are already twice indebted to me,” Simon blurted. “But I will consider your offer nonetheless,” he added consolingly upon seeing Gilbert’s objection to his snide remark. “I only ask that you convey to me the content of this legislation before I give by final approval.”
Gilbert clearly had a sales pitch ready to go before the council that he didn’t mind practicing in front of Simon. “In these tumultuous times, when imperial subjects believe they can defy the will of God through his duly-appointed Electors, it is in the interest of the security and stability of the empire for the emperor to have full authority to denounce and attaint any lord of the empire who harbors and supports treasonous acts and strip said lord of their lands and titles. In so doing, future rebellions like those of Ferrara and Bremen may be stopped before they start.”
Simon scoffed instinctively before he had time to properly consider the idea. Gilbert certainly had had no qualms about taking and giving titles early in his reign. Simon’s late mother and others who had either crossed the Frenchman or simply been the targets of his ire could bear witness to that. For Gilbert to suddenly want to legalize his autocracy after fighting two rebellions it had produced was a bit rich. It would be fairly risky to give him that power, but on the other hand, once Gilbert was no more that authority would be in Simon’s hands. The look Gilbert was giving Simon suggested that he knew this, too, and was hoping that Simon’s realization of this fact would sway him to the emperor’s side of the court. Well played, remarked Simon internally. You can have this round, you slimy old fool. “You make a convincing argument,” he told his liege. “I will proudly advocate for this law on the council at our next meeting.”
It was not to be, unfortunately, as Duke Gottfried III, now known as “the Hideous,” was for some strange reason continuing to serve on the Imperial Council as its Marshal, despite absolutely hating Gilbert’s guts for taking half his face off. He assembled a voting bloc that managed to shoot down the proposed law in the final vote on 11 May, 1157.
The rest of spring and the whole summer passed by in central Europe more or less peacefully, for almost the first time in living memory. Simon spent many clear nights observing the motions of the planets on behalf of his friends in the Hermetic Society. Mars in particular caught his attention as he observed some unusual movements that should not have occurred based on the current models of planetary motion. Well, no matter for a Habsburg! With some mathematical adjustments, Simon managed to correct the old model to better account for Mars, and he is rewarded with the rank of Adept on June 15th. It was none other than Simon’s apprentice and chancellor Dömötör who awarded the King his new rank. Dömötör had taken to the Hermetics like a duck to water, so much so that while under Simon’s tutelage he blew past his master and became an Adept by the time the head of the order, Prince-Bishop Baldassare of Rimini (ironically known as “the Inquisitor”) had passed away in 1156, and Dömötör was selected as the new head Magus(even though paradoxically he still remained Simon’s apprentice). The two friends couldn’t help smiling at each other from ear to ear at Simon’s promotion ceremony.
Summer's only other notable moments were Duchess Adalmode of Alsace being tortured to disfigurement for her support of the Udonen Uprising, followed by August’s ironic announcement by Gilbert that he would be touring the empire to visit with his vassals and repair the division that had plagued the realm. With the (notably perplexed) council’s assistance, he prepared an itinerary, prioritizing the most important flash points from the rebellions. When Simon reported this to his wife, who had hit a wall in her scheme to eliminate Gilbert (which was seeming less and less vile to Simon with each prisoner who walked out of Gilbert’s dungeons) she passionately asked that he supply her with a copy of the itinerary. Simon found himself surprisingly inclined to acquiesce to her request.
On the first day of fall, Zsanett had an interesting update to report:
“Husband, thanks to the information you provided, I was able to identify an inn near several of my trusted friends where the Kaiser will spend an evening in between stops on his tour. We will pack the floorboards with explosives and set it alight. It will appear a tragic accident.”
“Explosives? And where is all the money going to come from to acquire all this gunpowder?” Simon asked, feeling a sudden ache on the hip where he hung his purse.
“Who said anything about gunpowder?” Zsanett answered coyly. “We have a more…affordable explosive in mind.”
While Zsanett continued making preparations, terrible news came on October the 6th: Cousin Burchard, the Duke of Austria-Steiermark, had been arrested and tortured into disfigurement by the Emperor, just like the Duke of Brabant. (Who coincidentally had also been mutilated on the 6th of October, which must have been one of Gilbert’s favorite dates.)
The manure plot went into effect on the 19th, but Gilbert’s nose tipped him off, and he escaped the inn before it was blown to smithereens. Worse, his guards located the man who had set the fuse, and under torture (Gilbert’s favorite pastime, evidently) the would-be assassin revealed Zsanett’s involvement. When Simon learned this, he discovered that this was apparently not the first time one of Zsanett’s murder plots had failed.
The very next day brought news just as bad if not worse: The Sunni Caliph, apparently not wanting to be outdone by his Shia rival, declared his own Jihad, this one against the King Martin von Habsburg of Egypt. Simon debated sending troops to aid his uncle, but the reports of how many Sunni mujahideen were rallying to retake Egypt were discouraging. It was a massive horde, far outstripping even Martin’s 20,000 troops. Simon even adding his own levies to the mix, in was extremely unlikely that they would change the outcome. Most importantly, the people of Simon’s kingdom had had enough of war, and his treasury was still almost 600 ducats in the red. Martin would have to put up the best effort he could.
Instead, Simon remains focused on his more immediate family and affairs, finding quality time to spend with his daughters while freeing his lands in Pannonia from Muslim occupation. Simon let the imperial armies do the heavy lifting in the direct fighting against the Shi’ites. While his army liberated the castle Temesvar during early December, Simon pressed the mayor of Kakath in Gran for a donation to the royal treasury to speed up the journey out of the hole. He came away with 250 ducats more to his name.
Christmas brought a bitter pill along with the presents, however. Dömötör had passed under suspicious circumstances. His place on the council as chancellor was filled by Count Vratislav Premyslid of Leitmeritz and the rest of Bohemia minus Prague and Saaz. The position of Simon’s apprentice, while filled much more slowly, was given to Zsanett in late February. Simon was determined to show his wife more to life than schemes and subterfuge.
With the parish of Lugos reclaimed on 28 March, 1158, the Muslim occupiers were fully pushed out, and the Jihad almost but not completely decided in favor of Christendom. Simon still had no transport ships, meaning that if he were to try and assist in the final push, he’d have to march through the full length of the Byzantine Empire, down through the Holy Land, and across Egypt (how awkward) before he could enter the contested lands. On the other hand, he still had a host of over 4,000 troops already at the southeastern border of the empire. And knowing how invaluable his (and Zsanett’s) wise military strategy had been during the rebellions, perhaps leaving the defense of Africa in Gilbert’s hands alone was a risky proposition.
“Looks like I’ll have to pack a lunch or two,” he remarked to himself when he made his final decision.
Before meeting his troops to begin their long march through Anatolia, Simon left his council and his poor cousin Burchard each a proposal. For the council, a law granting a more equitable status for women, anticipating the high likelihood of having a daughter succeed him (Sofie, he hoped). For Duke Burchard, an offer of a double-bond between their realms by betrothing Simon’s second daughter, Christine, to Burchard’s second son Friederich.
The middle part of 1158 felt both long and short, vanishing in what seemed like one long day of endless marching. April passed by with the Bulgarian countryside, and May was much the same, only marked by the formalization of both the law and the betrothal Simon had arranged. June would have been completely devoid of excitement had the army not passed through Constantinople and remarked on its beauty and size. July and August, however, made up for that by being completely boring, save for yet another sad tale of a former rebel mutilated at the hands of Gilbert Scarponnois. This time it was Duchess Mariana of Dauphiné losing a hand. Simon couldn’t help but begin to feel guilty for having fought on the behalf of the emperor the people called “the Butcher.”
In September, the Habsburg army was in Cappadocia when intelligence reached them that 15,000 Muslim fighters were camping at Acre, guarding the Holy Land from German reinforcements. Simon decided to make a slow, cautious advance in a more easterly direction, hoping to sneak his army to Damascus and use the roads out of that city to circumvent his foes.
Shortly before the new year, while still in Byzantine-held northern Syria, Simon received a coded message from Zsanett, who had remained behind in Prague to continue plotting to off the emperor. Her latest attempt was to use a snake in Gilbert’s bed, but when Simon heard no further news on the subject or a letter informing him of his election to the Emperorship, he took that to mean that this third time had not, in fact, been the charm.
In other mixed news, halfway through January 1159, the Shia Caliph threw in the towel, completely unable to secure a foothold in the kingdom he had tried for five years to conquer for Allah. The good news was that Simon no longer had to worry about skirting around an army almost quadruple his own. The bad news was he had wasted almost a full year marching through Asia Minor only to have the war end before even crossing into Fatimid territory. Fed up, Simon left his men behind and chartered a ship to Cyprus, from where he sailed on to Crete, then Messina, Rome, and finally Genoa, where he took a carriage over the Alps and back home to Basel. While in Messina he learned that the King of Sicily was donating the island of Malta to the Knights of Saint John, made a horoscope for Sofie, and picked up a stray kitten for her and Christine to spoil.
When Simon did finally arrive at his castle, he found quite the unexpected guest waiting for him: Rutger Salian, now 24 years of age.
“Master Rutger!” Simon says with surprise when the Franconian was introduced by the herald to the great hall. “To say I am surprised to find you of all people in my home would be the understatement of a lifetime. I know your father and I have made up, but I would not blame you to hold a certain degree of animosity towards me for my previous…errors of judgement.”
“Oh, believe you me, Your Majesty, I am loathe to be here, for it is not for a friendly visit or a heart-to-heart that I come, but merely out of the demands of duty and honor.” Then, as if his presence and his words were not confusing enough, he bent the knee before Simon. “I am here to swear fealty to you as your vassal, the Duke of Tyrol.”
“I-I must still be reeling from my long voyage at sea,” Simon stuttered, utterly shocked. “Tyrol belongs to Duchess Adela of the House of Hupoldinger. Love that name, by the way. Anyway, I was under the impression that she had a son named Andreas with her first husband, although he died some twenty years ago. What of his line?”
“My uncle Andreas has but two descendants, a daughter, my cousin Yvonne, and her daughter, Jasminne,” Rutger began to explain. “When my grandmother died her titles passed through her eldest daughter, my mother Duchess Katharina, to myself, Adela’s eldest living grandson.”
Simon processed all this and then exploded in laughter.
“Sir?” asked Rutger, now the confused one.
“It’s ironic, you see,” Simon said, moderately composing himself but still chuckling in between words, “M-my father and I tried to bring F-franconia under our thumb by plots and murder, and n-now, thanks to SHEER DUMB LUCK, when your father p-passes, you will become the Duke of Tyrol and Franconia and Verona and Kärnten, and still m-my v-vassal! All our efforts were entirely redundant!” He laughed again. The last year had been stressful, but now things were finally going his way once again.
Next Time… Simon wages one last internal war to spread the glorious Habsburg dynasty to some new places…
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