Sorry, no, that was Nancy Drew, newspaper reporter, who was arrested. In her early movies her character was a newspaper reporter. From what I understand of Tintin he is unlikely to be captured so easily.
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This is true, but then again, Tintin was always subject to some of those sorts of Deux Ex Machinas that would result in him getting caught.
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Then again, he's a child and Belgian, so they never smack him around or just kill him as they would an adult.
Of course, like most famous investogstos and deteticves, they never actually acheive much except bear witness to the murderer doing themselves in (one way or another). Even Sherlock Holmes, which doesn't suffer from it as badly as later examples, has no end of stories ending with ship sinking and drowning acts of god.
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Chapter Thirty-Five : A Busy Month - 1.11.1937 To 30.11.1937
A Gentleman’s War : The Middle-East Command
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Five : A Busy Month - 1.11.1937 To 30.11.1937
“BREEEEHHHH!”
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Five : A Busy Month - 1.11.1937 To 30.11.1937
“BREEEEHHHH!”
The month of November was a busy month. A very busy month indeed. The Heavy Cruisers in the Port of Alexandria (El Iskandariya) was replacing their old anti-aircraft guns with newer models. Newer designs for such guns had been released by the government for use on the 10th.
On the other hand it was very clear that Japan was winning the war with the Chinese. Reports from within Nationalist China suggested that the people were still willing to keep fighting. Their spirits had taken a beating but was still in one piece. But they had lost a lot provinces to the advancing Japanese.
And the nation of Shanxi was pretty much on the verge of collapse. It was likely the warlords that made up its government would pack up and leave any day now.
Then there was good news on the 17th. Seems the first of the brand new Transport Flotillas were coming out of dry dock for the other Theaters. St. John’s HQ was the first to received one and, it seemed, was already loading it up with units to deliver to the New World.
Then, on the morning of the 24th of November, after the Captain had brought the Field Marshall a REAL British breakfast, he pulled out a few pieces of paper.
“Oh no!” exclaimed Sir Anthony C.H. Melchett, “This is about me, isn’t it?”
“Well, let us say the news is mixed,” replied the Captain. “First, the good news. Both Malta and Alexandria report that the radar stations have been upgraded to second tier. In other words, they are now better than before. Once they have been tested, and found to be functioning properly, the engineers will start working to make them even better.”
“Sounds a little TOO modern to me,” remarked the Field Marshall as he sliced up some of his bacon. He didn’t like the idea of ‘mixed’ news and was waiting for the other shoe to fall.
“Oh, no sir, our radar stations are the…er…valley of technology. Our equipment is so out of fashion that goat herders from the Bible had better radar stations than we do.”
“Oh. Well, that’s okay then,” remarked the Field Marshall.
“As for the bad news-”
“I already KNOW the bad news,” said the man with a shake of his head. “How DARE the cooks try to pass this off as a FULL British breakfast. Look at this!” The Field Marshall held up one of the small loafs of bread. “This ISN’T toast. These are small French baguettes! BAGUETTES! In a British breakfast! BREEEEEEEH! SHAME!”
“Shame indeed sir,” replied the Captain. “But not the bad news. Remember when I mentioned the goat herders?”
“Noooo….” said the Field Marshall pretending to find his morning tea VERY interesting.
“So you DIDN’T punch a goat yesterday?” asked the Captain.
“It was being stubborn and was refusing to put on the bomb,” answered the Field Marshall.
The Captain sighed, pondered all the things he COULD have done with his life, and plowed on.
“You were trying to strap a bomb onto a goat?”
“To try to blow up the house,” explained the Field Marshall as he started to work on the bangers with a knife and fork. “Can’t blow up a house without a proper bomb.”
“Why were you trying to blow up a house?” inquired the Captain.
“Because there was no Italian tanks to test out my bomb-goat on,” said the Field Marshall with a eye roll. He didn’t roll both eyes. He just rolled one.
The Captain sighed. “So…you were trying to weaponize a goat?”
“Well, of course I was,” responded the Field Marshall as he chewed on some mushrooms. “What ELSE would I be doing with a goat?”
The Captain decided to leave the office before making a comment.
It was noticed by the troops on Malta that the Italian Port of Misurata had a unit of militia.
It was unknown HOW they noticed this enemy unit. Some suggested that the radar station had, somehow, picked up ground vehicles.
This seemed unlikely but the idea was kept secret from the Field Marshall. It was believed he would likely declare the radar station staff witches and have them burned for using black magic.
So the month ended with Captain Timothy Malek keeping even more information from the Field Marshall AND paying for a goat’s therapy sessions.
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So Italy have very few troops in Libya and the ones they do have can be seen from Malta...somehow.
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I am absolutely on Melchett's side here. For a true Britisher being offered coffee when you have ordered tea is attempted poisoning. Who knows what damage such foul bean juice could do to a man?
That's just what Sherlock wants you to believe, in truth none of those ships sinkings were accidental acts of god at all.
I can see very few downsides to the weaponised goat-bomb, so I hold out great hope for the success of future experiments in that direction.
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Well Bond drank coffee.
Actually...I agree with you compeltely.
Wow...that's surprisingly dark. Man's a domestic terrorist.That's just what Sherlock wants you to believe, in truth none of those ships sinkings were accidental acts of god at all.
You are aware of what happened every other time the world has tried arming animals with bombs?
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Mrs Marple, Hercule Poirot, Weaponised goats. I'm not sure how it's all going to fit together, but it's clear to say that this just gets better and better.
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Chapter Thirty-Six : Winter Is Here - 1.12.1937 To 16.12.1937
A Gentleman’s War : The Middle-East Command
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Six : Winter Is Here - 1.12.1937 To 16.12.1937
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Six : Winter Is Here - 1.12.1937 To 16.12.1937
The first part of December was what some might call semi-busy. While many important events would happen during this month these events were so removed from the Middle-East Command that only a few people there even noticed them.
On the 1st of December the French pointed out that the Italians on their side of North Africa were withdrawing. Likely heading over to the Port of Tripoli to top of their supplies and get dry.
The Italian units facing British territory stayed put. No doubt due to being so close to their own supply stockpiles and, therefore, they didn’t have to move.
“Yes,” remarked George as he stood by the front door of the Officer’s Mess looking out into the downpour. “I can see why those Italians made a run for Tripoli. Just look outside. Thunder, lightning, very, vert frightening. I would make a run for it too!”
“Yes,” said Blackadder as he sipped his whiskey. “Not good weather for the nerves. My wife has a dog who hides under the sofa during storms such as these. Which reminds me, any news about the Field Marshall?”
George walked back to the table to join Blackadder. “Well, yes. They say he hides under his desk when he sees or hears lightning.”
“Of course,” was all Blackadder said as he sipped his whiskey. “Drink your whiskey George. It’s going to be a long war.”
“Do you think there will be a war?” asked George as he sat down and picked up his drink.
“When you prepare for war you normally get it,” remarked Blackadder.
“But…the quote is ‘Let him who desires peace, prepare for war’. Isn’t it?”
“Yes George,” replied Blackadder, “but the problem with that is when you have massive armies with piles of shells and guns and military equipment standing around sooner, or later, somebody wants to use them. They get bored or they get paranoid or they just do something stupid.”
“Ah,” remarked George. “Like the pistol in a murder mystery. It’s there and, therefore, it is going to be used.”
“Something like that, yes.”
On the 5th of December the Japanese annexed the nation of Shanxi. The government of Shanxi just could no longer keep their nation together and down they went.
“And then the Japanese declared war on the Communist Chinese, right?” said George on hearing the news.
Blackadder looked up from the breakfast he was sharing with George in the Officer’s Mess. “No, not at all. Right now the Japanese are focusing all their energy and men on defeating the Nationalists. It would be silly and stupid of them to start a second conflict before they even finished their first conflict.”
“Yes, you’re right Blackadder,” replied George. “I wonder what came over me.”
“The bacon IS a little under done,” suggested Blackadder.
On the 10th Captain Timothy Malek heard news that some of the first motorized brigades had finally been deployed in the UK.
From the reports he received the vehicles being used had 13mm armoured hulls. This suggested some kind of hybrid between a lorry and a armoured tank. In fact it was said they were also using light tank engines.
There were no photos in the reports but he could imagine the vehicles as massive land ships, crushing all before them, with dozens of guns blasting away at the helpless enemy!
The Captain would have loved to ask for a motorized infantry unit or two but knew the Field Marshall would turn down such a modern idea. Sir Anthony C.H. Melchett refused to have globes of the Earth in his office, as he believed the planet was flat, felt electric shavers were inventions of the Devil, and would sometimes leave out milk for the leprechauns he believed lived in his moustache.
The Captain had spent most of the night before trying to calm the man down. The sound of thunder would cause the Field Marshall to hide under the covers of his bed and he would pray to Zeus, Thor, and Set for hours.
It was embarrassing. Well, more embarrassing than usual. And it wasn’t even Christmas yet.
The Captain thought about the upcoming holiday and shivered in horror.
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The Field Marshall is actually regressing, a terrible case study of the effects of coffee upon a person. Truly a warning to us all.
In other news I idly looked up what the actual Lord Melchett was doing (because there was one). At this point the 2nd Baron Melchett is running ICI and building a mustard gas factory for the RAF, just in case the Germans use gas first and Britain has to respond in kind. All a bit grim really.
In other news I idly looked up what the actual Lord Melchett was doing (because there was one). At this point the 2nd Baron Melchett is running ICI and building a mustard gas factory for the RAF, just in case the Germans use gas first and Britain has to respond in kind. All a bit grim really.
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Seems a fairly normal Oxford graduate. Although allegedly the man was educated at Cambridge which cannot be the case. If he was educated there, he'd be both surprisingly competent and an enemy agent by now.
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Chapter Thirty-Seven : Agent Two-Faced - 17.12.1937
A Gentleman’s War : The Middle-East Command
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Seven : Agent Two-Faced - 17.12.1937
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Seven : Agent Two-Faced - 17.12.1937
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And yet still no Control and Tony from A Bit of Fry and Laurie. An outrage.
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Chapter Thirty-Eight : Counting Down To The New Year - 18.12.1937 To 31.12.1937
A Gentleman’s War : The Middle-East Command
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Eight : Counting Down To The New Year - 18.12.1937 To 31.12.1937
(HoI3 TFH - UK AAR)
Chapter Thirty-Eight : Counting Down To The New Year - 18.12.1937 To 31.12.1937
On the 19th Captain Timothy Malek had received news from the “Royal Hussars”. Their light ‘Vickers’ had been totally replaced, not just upgraded, with ‘Stuarts’. In other words repainted American ‘Shermans’.
The ‘Stuarts’ had 50mm armoured hulls and 37mm canon which had started out as anti-tank guns. So these light tanks carried a powerful main armament against the current generation of tanks that populated the world.
Getting the Field Marshall’s permission to replace their own tanks, when they were issued them, with ‘Stuarts’ was unlikely to happen. So the Captain started to practice writing the Field Marshall’s name. The trick to forging a signature was never making them look exactly the same. A person never EVER made the exact same signature.
“You Can Trust Me, Tim.”
It was the morning of the 24th and the Captain was serving the Field Marshall a breakfast of fried eggs, mushrooms, bacon, bangers, proper toast, grilled tomatoes, and tea. This put the Field Marshall into a somewhat jolly mood so the Captain dared to ask a daring question.
“Sir,” said the Captain, as the Field Marshall played choo-coo train with one of his bangers, “do you have any plans for Christmas?”
“Wait? Oh, no,” answered the man as he chewed on his banger. “I refuse to waste my time trying to bring the love and glory of Christ to these people. They just don’t seem to care about how hard I try to bring happiness to their stupid little lives. Remember that time I dressed up as the Tooth Fairy? Almost got stoned.”
“To be fair, sir,” said the Captain. “The Tooth Fairy isn’t IN the Bible.”
“Really? How weird,” remarked the Field Marshall. “Anyway, I give up. They can all burn on hell. No, no more celebrating religious holidays for me!”
“Or you sure about that?”
“Of course I am. You can trust me, Tim.” Sir Anthony C.H. Melchett then gave the Captain a smile. A smile that suggested horrible things being done in basements.
The Captain just nodded and tried to focus on the floor. Well, at least he knew nothing horrible would be in the newspaper about the Field Marshall for the next few weeks.
On the 27th of December the Captain received even more good news. The Empress of Canada Flotilla, the transports under St. John’s HQ, were finally on their way delivering units from England to Canada.
In other words it looked like the Theaters of the British Empire would likely be prepared for the next war.
This was a relief and took some of the weight off his shoulders.
And the Field Marshall seemed to be fulfilling his promise. He had done NOTHING for Christmas.
Maybe he would behave from now on?
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The Stuart is nice and early, so that'll be an unpleasant surprise for the Italians. Paradox continues to disappoint however, ignoring all the crappy Cruiser tanks that could pad out the tech tree.
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The only game I've seen yet that emulates (crappy) variants at the same tech is Shadow Empire, where you have a theoretical research and then have to do a practical build, which can turn out to be bad, you can then chose to either improve the model(cheap) or design a new model(expensive).
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