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Aar **my Road To War**

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May 6, 2003
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Extracts from My Road To War
by Cyril 'Pongo' Effingem
Col. Ret. Queens Own Foot and Mouth

By April 27 (1940) I was ordered to take some long overdue leave. It was hard to relax with the war raging all around but I decided to head up to Norwich to see a former school chum of mine, Horace 'Scrappy' Brooks. Scrappy was now C.O. of a squdren of Swordfish torpedo bombers out of Numshead Coastal Command. He had invited me up to take a look at 'Old Splatter' a Lewis Gun we had used for Elephant hunting in the early thirties when we served in the Calcutta 'Queens Own Black Holes' Rifles. Scrappy had fully restored the LG and mounted it on the back of his aircraft.

It was great seeing Scrappy again, and a few hours in the OM going over happier times was just what the doctor orderd. Sadly though, all too soon the squadron was scrambled. A group of German heavy units had been sighted heading West about 90 miles North East of Numshead and he was ordered to intercept it. Scrappys tail gunner had come down with a bad case of the pox and i was asked to fill in. I soon found myself donning his flight jacket, goggles, cap and gloves and then being strapped in behind 'The Splatsta'. I gave Horace the thumbs up. CONTACT!... We were off!... faster than a Brides nightgown.

About an hour out from Numshead Scrappy was getting worried. The Sun was getting low behind us and the time to attack was running out. But where the Hell was Jerry? Then we spotted them. At first we could only see the flashes of the guns as they warned off a group of shadowing RN destroyers. Very soon the shapes of what looked like two Hipper Class heavy cruisers came into view. Scrappy made some hand signels to the rest of his squadron, then brought our tightly strung bird quickly around. The setting Sun would follow us all the way in.

We came in very low, the waves breaking over the nose of our 'Stringbag' (Fish was back on the menu that night). There was no sign of ack-ack as we approached untill about half a mile out then they opened up with tracer fire. At first just from one point then many more joining in. Im sure Scrappy saw none of it. His steely eyes were fixed on the massive shape ahead of us. His teeth tightly gritted. His hands vice-like on his stick.

The monster was now before us. Deep-dark-angry-red in the dying sunlight, spitting fire and death at our intrepid band. (I gritted my teeth too). Swinging Old Splatter as far forward as she would go, I fired back at the beast.


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Very gripping start. One question though: Are you playing as the UK?
 
My Road To War

My Road To War AAR

The British war effort 1936 onwards, as remembered by Colonel Cyril "Pongo" Effingem,

The actual game is in progress, up to june 1940. I would like to tell the story in a normal time-line but untill i get organised ill just put up a few episodes of "Pongos" war.
 
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You know what would make it great? If you could throw Pug Henry or Pamela Tudsbury into it (just a brief cameo perhaps?). That would certainly be a wink and a nudge to alot of people here.
 
My Road To War

It was New Years Day 1936. We had been recalled to Whitehall for a briefing on the East African situation. His Majestys Goverment was deeply concerned with the Italian war of conquest in Ethiopea and the threat it posed to our East African possessions. Not willing to deploy troops to support Ethiopea, the FO proposed to provide them with some of the latest military research to bolster defenses. A sharper spear maybe? Or the latest thing in pointed sticks? My part was to 'Deliver the goods!'

One week later I was in a dockside bar in Old Mombassa handing over a briefcase full of secrets to a rather unsavory looking Arab fellow. My assignment complete and two days untill the next boat back to Blighty. I decided to see some of the local sights.

The following day I set out by car to Lake Rudolf up on the Kenya Ethiopia boarder looking forward to some swim training for the up-coming Berlin Games. About halfway across the Upper Chelba Desert I bumped into (dumped onto) the most extraordinary chap. Orde Wingate. He was by the side of the road disguised as a tree. I had stopped for a crap in the only shady spot id seen for miles and to my surprise the tree turns out to be Wingate on camoflage training.

Orde confided with me that he had a small command at Marsabit, and was attempting to put together some kind of long range recon force to counter the threat of the Italians to the North in Somaliland and Ethiopia. There were no supply problems but a critical shortage of men and equipement. I promised Orde that on my return to England I would do all I could to get him what he needed. Untill then I suggested he should keep things pretty 'hush-hush'. I came up with the idea of a 'Sudan Air Service' or 'SAS' as a cover for his activities. He rather liked that and said he would use it. I also suggested he garrison Burbere with some mountain troops to secure his Northan flank.

Just before my departure Orde asked me to put in a good word for him back at Whitehall. Seems he was running into some resistance there. He wished me the best of luck and hoped we would meet again. We never would.

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Re: My Road To War

Originally posted by Nolan
... hoped we would meet again. We never would
Click to expand...

Tsk, tsk, tsk, that's just terrible.... Poor guy. :(
 
My Road To War

I returned to find Whitehall in a complete flap. Questions had been asked in the House on the preparedness for war of the British Army. The RN as usual was unmatched any where in the world. The Army however had been sadly neglected since the Great War. The Empire was now garrisoned by below strength colonial units and the RAF had become a retreat for eccentric military types with overly large moustaches.

Sensing the seriousness of the situation I retreated to the quiet ofmy London Club. After finishing the Times crossword I settled down besides a warm fireplace with my autographed copy of Mein Kampf. I was up to the good part where Hitler talkes of his dog not having a nose, when I recieved an urgent message to report to Number 10.

On arrival at Number 10 I was shown into the cabinet room. The PM greeted me warmly and introduced me to the Foreign Ministers of Canada, Australia, South Africa and New Zealand. Negotiations had been under way to see if these countries were willing to place their military under direct British control to help stem the rise of Fascism.

So a 'Coalition of the Shilling' was formed between our five great Nations. Britain gained direct control of the coalitions military forces and in return, Baldwin undertook to provide all the members with the latest in military and industrial research as often as practicable.

After the meeting the PM took me aside. 'Now look here F' He began 'Im sorry to down load all this on you old chap. But we need someone like you to make this all run as easy as apple pie. It may only be a game of cat and mouse right now. But I see a hard drive ahead and you may have to ram things through. We must make the most any windows of opportunity. You will be given a special file at the MOD when you have assembled your section. Good Luck!'.

I left Number 10 soon after and went back to the club to recruit the first member of my team. He was a Cambridge chum of mine, Phil 'Jumbo' Kimby.

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sometimes it will be a hard drive and you will have to ram things through. We must make the most of these windows of oppertunity that come our way
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Not sure if you actually ment to make a pun with modern day computer terms, but I had a good laugh. Never really know when the game is going to running or you're back looking at "windows".

Nevertheless, good luck with the AAR
 
My Road To War

Even at Cambridge Phil Kimby had been grotesquely fat. One of the finest minds in the world trapped in the most hideous of forms. Kimby had excelled in every academic endeavour. Even at sport he had some limited success as our hockey goal keep. Phil was the original immovable object in the immovable object v. the irresistable force equation. He spoke 17 languages. Two of which he had invented himself.

Three times the size as when he was at Cambridge, Kimby now resided at his London Club where he was confined to his rooms and quite incapable of leaving the building. His apartment took up the entire fourth floor and he had his private study on the ground floor. This study was kept closed to the other members and was only open when Kimby himself held court. A gigantic steam powered dumb waiter had been installed to lower and raise Phil between his living quarters and the study. Many of the wisest people from all over the world had made the pilgrimage to Kimbys Court. Only a select few had ever taken the ride up into his inner sanctum.

I approached the study door with some trepidation. (A visit with Phil Kimby was not to be taken lightly). I knocked gently. 'Come in Pongo' came a muffled reply. Inside it smelt of linament, stale curry, opium. The room was dark, with a low hanging lamp lighting up a small circle of carpet in the middle of the floor. Kimby sat near the center, the lamplight illuminating his immense slug like body up to his chins. (Kimby had more chins than a Chinese phone book) His face was masked in shadow. 'Hello Jumbo' I said 'How on Earth did you know it was me?' 'I remembered your knock' he replied.

Kimby knew all about my mission. Between wheezing gasps he expanded on where he believed the early challenges from Fascism would arise. Europe as always was a powder keg and war could erupt there at any time. He was quite concerned with the looming conflict between China and Japan and urged every effort be made to prevent China falling to the Fascists. Kimby believed that war against Fascism was inevitable and that it would eventually engulf the entire planet.

Jumbo gladly agreed to make available to me his considerable intellect. 'You can come over any time Pongo' he said 'Even if it calls for a trip upstairs' I thanked him and seeing he was tired, I said good night.

I left thinking Kimby must be mistaken. I was unwilling to contemplate the idea of another World War.

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Nolan said:
To be concluded.

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Click to expand...

I thought this one was lost. :)
 
My Road To War

Extracts from My Road To War

Somewhere in France May 29th 1940

The enemy Stukas had dipped back behind the trees from which they had so suddenly appeared. I staggered away from the smouldering remains of the command car and slowely dusted myself off. The rest of the column had escaped the terror of the Stukas by speeding off down the road, leaving me behind stranded and alone.

Realising that Dunkirk was still 26 miles to the North and with the sky full of Stukas and the roads crawling with Jerry, the best course of action was to continue across country.

Over the next few desperate hours I was spotted and pursued by many German patrols. On each occasion my training for the Marathon in the 1940 London Olympics enabled me to outrun them all and evade capture. Nightfall found me close enough to Dunkirk to hear Artillery fire and see flashes lighting up the sky above the port. I decided to press on without resting in the hope of getting through the enemy lines under the cover of darkness.

Then about 5 miles south of Dunkirk I blundered into a German Army field hospital which was setting up in a truffle field. The Hospital was totally empty except for a pair of rather big blonde German nurses. Hopeing to bluff my way through I stood up straight and gave them my smartest Nazi salute. 'HAIL HILTER!' I barked out. They snapped to attention and returned the salut. 'Hello Fraulines'... I began in my sexiest but somewhat breathless, German. 'Anyone... know the way... to Dunkirk?'

At first the nurses looked friendly enough but very soon they realised I was a British Officer on the run. They started to shake their fists and shout at me. 'You are ze Britisher Pigs-Dog!'...'Why you arz running awayz?' ...'You arz zee cowardz!'.
'No! No! No!...Its not like that at all!' I assured them. 'Kings Regulations clearly state that... When all is lost... One has to save Ones self... Its not like in the Navy!





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An Aussie with the name Nolan, thats an intresting thing, for it is a very Irish name, knowing this for a fact be it that it is my own as well, gave me quike the scare, knowiing full well that i was not behind the story. :)
 
Ripping great stuff! Nice show!
 
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