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I appreciate your attempts, but sadly I did exclude the mains team directory and I am indeed running DirextX 11.
The games use DX9, not 11 at all. When you said:
Reinstalled all .net frameworks, C++ and redist packages, and all relevant directX packages.
Did that include DX9?
C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\Crusader Kings II\ _CommonRedist\DirectX\Jun2010\ and run dxsetup.exe

You are still getting that Steam Verify anomaly?
 
Anomaly gone, DX9 installed, problem still occuring.

I am honestly starting to suspect ancient Mongol curses.
 
I'm still puzzled by this half-way-house we seem to be in on the documents folders.

If you delete the whole Documents/paradox interactive/ folder, remove any userdir.txt files, and run each of the games' .exe files - do any/some/all of the games make settings.txt files? Make the /logs/ folder? Populate the /logs/ folder?
 
All of the games make entirely new documents folders with populated logs files, dlc signatures, settings files, and a dumps folder after deleting userdirs and the documents folders to allow new ones be made. Everything seems to be running smoothly there.
 
Welp. I honestly can't tell you what I did or how but the issue is fixed. I know it's not what people going through similar issues want to hear but it just kinda... happened?

Thanks for the support anyway, both of ya.
 
Was there a Windows update perhaps? An update to your AV app, anything?
 
Nothing I noticed. The only thing I did out of the ordinary was just update my C++ Redist library again. But I'd already done this once before so I don't think that's what fixed it. Maybe it was just murphy's law beforehand? That's honestly all I can think that changed between the time of being broken and fixed.