• We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.

unmerged(16020)

Field Marshal
Apr 5, 2003
2.817
1
Visit site
Note: Played with 1.05b and CORE 0.531

January 1st, 1936. In a historic decision, Adolf Hitler announced his regrets over ever reinstating and expanding the Wehrmacht. The Chancellor apologized and completely and immediately disbanded the Wehrmacht. He furthermore suggests to the soldiers that they become ice sculptors or watercolor artists.

He also decided that the Luftwaffe should now consist of only one transport squadron, saying it should exist for “educational purposes only”. The Luftwaffe was renamed “Waffel”, which is German for “Waffle”. The remaining squadron command was renamed the Freundliches Geschwader (Friendly Squadron), the squadron itself was renamed Leichte Segelfleugzeuge (Gentle Gliders). The command was given to a former Mj. General named Bülowius, now a skill 0 Air Marshall. Sources close to the Chancellor quote Hitler saying that he chose Bülowius based on the difficulty of pronunciation. The fact that he only knew to pronounce the “w” as a “v”-sound, was reportedly a “good-sign”. Those sources also suggest that the Chancellor is “concerned and alarmed” over a “tank busting” skill that Bülowius reportedly possesses.


peaceful1.gif

A new Germany?

The fate of the Kriegsmarine was slightly different from their land and air-based counterparts. All submarine flotillas were to be immediately disbanded due to their “lack of peaceful potential”, it is privately suggested that the U-Boat captains sunk their own vessels out of protest of their ships being renamed. What those names were, we do not know.

For the surface vessels, the Chancellor renamed and divided them among various countries as expeditionary forces.

Poland received the three cruisers Blume, Schmetterling, and the Großartiges Polen, as well as the transport squadron, Tadpfosten. These ships were under the Polnische Flotte command ran by skill 0 Admiral von Puttkamer. In the speech announcing this decision, the Chancellor reportedly said von Puttkamer's name was a “stereotypically good sign”.

Belgium received the two cruisers Regenbogen and the Fruchtfliege under the command of skill 0 Admiral Bey. Reportedly his name’s “shortness and abnormality” were what qualified him for this highly dignified post. When the Chancellor offered the province of Köln as well to the beloved Belgian King, he turned down the Chancellor’s generous offer, reportedly replying with a simple “no thanks”.

France received the two cruisers Guter Nachbar and Liebesboot under the command of skill 0 Grand Admiral Rogge.

The Chancellor is said to have tried to give the remaining ships to the United Kingdom and the Netherlands, but the ships were again sunk by their Captains who didn’t appreciate their ships being christened things like such as “Fruchtkuchen” (Fruitcake). The Reichchancellor is reportedly “disappointed” in the commander’s behavior and immediately sent a full apology to the respective countries along with a complimentry teddybear to each.

teddy-bear.jpg

The said Teddybär

Regarding cabinet positions, the only change so far the Chancellor made was to remove the self-proclaimed “Prince of Terror” and install the slightly improved “Efficient Sociopath”. Hitler was dismayed over his only tow choices, but he reportedly said that it was a “solid improvement”.

Convoys were also immediately set up to send supplies and all of the various resources Germany possesses to Poland and the United Kingdom. The chancellor has recently announced a transport-building program so that he can send more.

Technology-wise, the Chancellor has announced that he plans to have Germany progress in the medical, electronic, and industrial research fields. He also mentioned that “whenever possible” he would share any advances with Germany’s neighbors.

flowershipsml2.jpg

Peaceful overtures
 
Last edited:
I didn't think you were serious in the other thread! This is great...

A softer, gentler, more sensitive Reich. Afterall, when we just sit down and talk, we realize - there is no need for violence. All things can be worked out peacefully. Germany comes to it's senses, and understands that friendship is the way to a great, prosperous future - not making enemies and war. Let there be peace, love, and happiness for all! LOL!

You'll definitely 'shock the world' alright...
A blitzkrieg of generosity, peaceful gestures, high culture, and kindness! :D

The fantasy AAR... that if it had actually gone this way in real life, just think what could have happened... and (more especially) not happened.

I guess I have to change my sig for this AAR... eh? ;)
 
Btw, Herr Chancellor, I must recommend that a percentage of the (former) soldiers disbanded from the Wehrmacht - be given the opportunity to take part in the new "großer Bruder" program, to help guide the youth of tomorrow towards the new Peace & Friendship Initiative/ ideology.

At the moment, Herr Goebbels is re-doing some of the old propaganda posters. For ex., the ones that used to say "Deutschland Erwache!" (Germany awakens!), now include a supplementary line below that states... "from it's turbulent and violence-ridden past!"
 
THE AI IS FASCIST

I tried something which was not so extreme, but also very peaceful. I used no violence in foreign policy, let the Wehrmacht as big as it was. Wath was the reaction of my neigbours? France declared war in 1940 ( or was it 1941? i can not remember ). USSR declared war on me in January 1943.

So: AI is fascist. Warmongering. Agressive. Nazi germany is peaceful. PARADOX, isnt it?
 
My Struggle

From my post in the other topic...

Make sure that Hitler sets out on a crusade to unite Christians, Jews, and Atheists, and then after he does it, have him write a book about how he reunited them. Call it...Mein Kampf

This is hilarious so far
 
You could build a few militia units and give them to France, SU, Poland and other countries to help them fight crime! That'll probably make a lot people happy and help world peace on the right course!
 
Sounds like hitler was a beatles fan!

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out


I'll be sure to keep an eye on this. I can't say I like the chances of the newer, nicer German empire though. Who knows, perhaps Stalin will have a change of heart and join the league of happy people? :p
 
Moving on, the year of 1936

When the choice became available for the Chancellor to send resources to Italy he decided not to. In his speech his reason was that he was concerned over the Italian Dictator Benito Mussolini’s aggressiveness and possible ambitions on the country of Albania.

benito1.jpg
benito2.jpg

Found on a napkin by Hitler’s plate after a the meeting

In April, Chancellor Hitler announced a new aid program to Afghanistan. Medical and educational supplies were ordered to be given a priority.

afghapara.jpg

Afghanistan receiving medical supplies.

In May, the Chancellor was surprised to learn that Germany has been helping China fight a war since 1934. Upon discovery the mission was of course immediately cancelled and the Germans were encouraged to instead teach the Chinese to make watercolor paintings.

In July, the Chancellor reassured the Austrians that he would honor their sovereignty. To prove his integrity he ordered he ordered one of his men to give the Austrians some dandelions as well.

k5_small.jpg

Delivered immediately to the Austrian embassy in Berlin

In late July Hitler refused to aid the Spaniards, saying that they were an “aggressive bunch”. He also sent a moderately angry letter to the Italians for supporting violence in this peaceful world.

Late September the Olympic games were held in Berlin. The Chancellor is rumored to have privately encouraged many of the athletes to intentionally lose to make the other teams feel better about themselves.

November, several advisors and ministers suggested that the Chancellor sign an anti-commitern pact with Japan. Needless to say they were all immediately fired and exiled to Luxembourg.

locAachen.jpg

Life is hard in Luxembourg
 
1937

1937 got off to a good start. “Efficient Sociopath” Himmler was banished to Luxembourg and in his place stood Josef Wirmer, “Man of the People”. Wirmer spoke publicly upon being hired, echoing Hitler’s speech in 36, urging the German people to take up various forms of art such as watercolor painting. He received the Rainbow Cross from the Chancellor at the end of the speech.

rainbowcross.jpg

The Rainbow Cross

February, Italy annexed Ethiopia into Italian East Africa. The Chancellor sent a letter to the Italian dictator, urging him to respect and encourage native customs, and to learn and respect each other mutually. He referred to the shark and the sucker fish as an example of symbiosis and encouraged Mussolini to follow their example.

In April the Chancellor ordered to have an “Exiled to Luxembourg” stamp created so that he could exile people without "all of that emotional buildup". This came after a shocking suggestion by his new advisors that he purge the museums of artwork.

exilestamp.jpg

The Chancellor's stamp probably looked nothing like this

In September Japan declared war against the peaceful nation of China. Hitler was said to have been quiet and moody the entire day. A crying sound was rumored to have been heard from behind his bedroom door, officials deny this and claim it was the wind, a baby, or perhaps a chipmunk.

In October, the war in Spain ended. The Chancellor announced that he was glad there was peace in Iberia again, and refused to say anything negative about the Spanish leader Franco because “He might take it the wrong way”. The day was also proclaimed to be a national holiday in celebration.

fruitcake.jpg

Iberia Peace Day is to be henceforth celebrated with fruitcakes upon orders of the High Chancellor. This is likely a fruitcake.
 
Last edited: