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Book One: An Occitan Kingdom
Chapter One:
The Year 1067, Or How I Spent My Summer Dreaming of Hot Springs
Defining moments in history are rarely planned out and often are the products of someone’s plan gone awry. Such was the case for Count Geraud d’ Armagnac, count of Armagnac. The count was not much of a great warrior, an outstanding statesman, particularly pious, nor a banker able to squeeze gold from rocks- scheming was his gift and it was one which he adhered to vehemently.
At the twilight of the year 1066 Count Geraud’s decent sized realm sat on the cusp of political importance: Geraud d’ Armagnac claimed the favourable position of inheriting the entire Duchy of Aquitaine as its current master, Duke Guillaume d’ Aquitaine, was currently without a male heir and only his daughter stood to inherit. While this would change some years later, at the dawning of the year 1067 no future heir was in sight and the Count was able to regard himself as a fortunate man- doubly so for being able to secret away a bastard child born to him by a young shepardess late in the wintry month of January.
Managing to escape the scathing rebuke of his wife and partner in intrigue, Azivelle de Lomagne, Geraud alongside his brother and chief counselor Arnaud-Bernard welcomed two more individuals, Girard de Gramont- a man reputed to actually be able to squeeze coins from rocks, albeit many of the coins would oft go missing- and Pons of Armagnac- a hedge knight of local renown, reputed to blindly face any foe until they proved to be able to best him-, into the happy circle that was the court of Armagnac. The former man would become the steward of the little realm and the later its marshal; the steward seeing far more work than the marshal due to nature of Geraud’s plans.
But all this talk of plans must leave you wondering, yes? What could this minor, though potentially great, noble have in mind? What more could this man wish than the reigns of the most formidable duchy in all of the Kingdom of France? Bourbon.
Not the alcohol, but the county which lay in the hands of some noble who Count Geraud deemed unworthy and inept in its governance, late one night in early March the count made a vow to his wife and she to him that they would one day recline in the famous hot springs rife within that distant province. All that now stood in their way was the matter of legitimate claims, a matter which would soon be rectified through his wife’s work for the rest of the year.
1067 almost passed quietly. The Spy Mistress Azivelle toiled in her attempt to fabricate a reasonable claim on Bourbon; Chancellor Arnaud-Bernard continued to meet and greet with the numerous complainants within Armagnac; Steward Girard counted a few coins and pocketed many more; Marshal Pons increased the speed of his swing, but neglected to give proper training to the county’s troops; and the count himself spent much time with his little son and future Crusader-Saint Bernard d’ Armagnac. Everything almost seemed serene, but as with most situations in history darkness brewed just over the horizon; and for the Count of Armagnac it would come with the glint of gold and steel.
Fun. 
I like your style a lot: simple, yet hilarious and witty. I'll be keeping track, as time allows (?#$& finals...).
I like your style a lot: simple, yet hilarious and witty. I'll be keeping track, as time allows (?#$& finals...).
Book One: An Occitan Kingdom
Chapter Two:
The First Half of 1068, Or How I Spent My Summer Sleeping With My Brother's Bride-To-Be
Open rebellion disrupted Count Geraud of Armagnac’s yuletide celebrations. On the 16th of December, 1067 the burghers of Armagnac marched on the count’s fort and home with the intention to murder someone. The cause of this violent outbreak came a few weeks before when the count met with a prominent money lender whom Geraud had taken a small loan from in order to finance his and his wife’s schemes. When the time came for Geraud to repay the banker Geraud outright refused, citing some superfluous clause in the agreement which stated that if the count did not receive the full amount of coin the loan was null and void. Whether or not this was the case is up to speculation, though considering the shifty nature of his steward coins disappearing is not entirely unlikely. Never the less the spurned merchant banker took his plight to his fellow investors who in turn incited the populous against the greedy Count of Armagnac.
Court Geraud responded swiftly and Marshal Pons cruelly. In the brief battle which followed the brutish head of the count’s army drove through the peasants with his contingent comprised mainly of heavy infantry armed with wicked swords and polished chainmail, taking many a merchants lives and capturing few. However the shock of such a bloody insurgency did not dissipate when its armed insurgents were put to the sword; the count was, for once, at a loss for a plan.
For the remainder of the month and well into the early winter months of 1068 Geraud spent his time away from castle and home. He campaigned ruthlessly throughout his realm, hanging traitors where he saw fit and bedding young shepardesses when the time came for slating his carnal thirsts. By mid April the county of Armagnac was almost sedated and the count left the further repression of rebellious forces to his trusted Marshal Pons. The count now had schemes to attend to, schemes which called for him to be by his liege-lord’s side.
Duke Guillaume’s daughter, Anges, had finally come of age by late February and without a moment’s hesitance the suitors assailed the ducal castle with their offers of land, love, and luxury for the duke’s spawn and heir. Now Count Geraud had planned on being one of those suitors, but the revolt of his burgher populous had taken him away from his prized plans and so now, in late April, he reached the court of Duke Guillaume where he would begin his first stage of an ultimately abortive plan.
Count Geraud, being married, was unable to woo Anges for himself, but that did not hinder him from seeking her treasured hand for his younger brother and chancellor, Arnaud-Bernard. A bachelor and not too proud of it Arnaud had beseeched his lord and brother to find suitable womanly company, as he was much too tasked with tending to the political fallout caused by the merchant’s revolt. Geraud found a perfect match, a relatively unknown woman belonging to an equally faceless family who had hips perfect for bearing children and a wit so dull not even the most illuminating bit of intrigue could sharpen her to the world outside her home. The only fault came in the fact that Geraud had already bedded the woman, twice, finding himself unable to resist such sheepish charms. However, as always, Geraud had a plan in which he could manipulate his brother into serving ends far beyond him.
Upon reaching Bordeaux, the ducal seat of Guillaume, he immediately accosted his liege and propositioned him with this: marry his brother to the duke’s beloved daughter in return for the allegiance of the d’ Armagnac and a sizeable dowry of two hundred bezants. To any reasonable lord this proposition was an affront to the honor of himself and his daughter, but Duke Guillaume was no simple lord. For one he was overly trusting, a trait which would later spell the demise of his one infant male heir and the dissolution of his house at the hands of Geraud’s virile descendants. For another the duke of Aquitaine was a notoriously pragmatic man and regarded the proposition of allegiance from a family which stood within the line of succession as a way to safeguard his dynasty from upheaval. The duke readily agreed and on the 1st of May Anges was wedded to Arnaud-Bernard, forming a happy union between the two houses.
I thought this was kind of sad at first, then I realized what kind of characters you were talking about.
Book One: An Occitan Kingdom
Chapter Three:
The Years 1068-1069, Or How I Spent Those Years Drinking, Murdering, and Making New Enemies
Count Geraud d’ Armagnac was greeted with a surprise when he returned home late in the month of May: his wife was expecting a child. Not bothering to question exactly how such a feat could be accomplished as he was in his liege’s distant court for the past few months he celebrated this potential new life and spent the rest of the year sequestering the rebellious merchants in his realm alongside his trusted Marshal Pons. By the end of the year a river of blood flowed to the Armagnac hill fort and nary an end to the violence in sight.
The transition from 1068 to 1069 saw no other remarkable event and it was not until the 17th of February that the monotony of slaughtering subjects was disrupted by the birth of the count’s second ‘son,’ Miquel. The celebrations which ensued where in turn disrupted by Ange’s birth of a stillborn on the 8th of March and further soured by the birth of Duke Guillaume’s male heir, Raimond, a week later. Luckily Geraud was present for the birthing of the end to his plot and on the very day the baby boy was born his soft skull was dashed against the wall. The wet-nurse was blamed and promptly executed.
When he returned to court, Geraud’s wife was yet again expecting another child, but this time the count was not able to stay and celebrate as his liege had called for a tournament and Count Geraud invited personally to champion the aging duke.
Count Geraud of Armagnac was greeted with all the pleasantries and courtesies due to the champion of such a prestigious lord. Nobles from everywhere in the duchy attended and even King Phillpe of France, Geraud’s first and last time seeing his king, made an appearance, even bringing along his infant son the future Saint-King Roger the Strong to witness the violence. Geraud fought a myriad of other warriors and despite his normal incompetence in anything martial he emerged victorious from each bout- until he faced Count Aymery of Thouars.
Beginning as a simple match of melee strength turned into a shouting match which subsequently turned into the invention of many new swears and disparaging terms. Who started the fight is unknown, but it was ended by the Count of Thouars when he hurled a handful of horse manure into Count Geraud’s face. Abruptly the fight turned deadly as the Count of Armagnac was insulted before his liege- duke and king. Eventually the men-at-arms were able to pull the two apart, but Geraud came back missing a finger and Aymery with a broken nose. Count Geraud, despite the throbbing pain of a missing pinky, swore his revenge and would see to it that the House of Thouars be destroyed like the blight it was.
New enemies made, the count returned to his court to plot, scheme, and nurse a pinky-stub. Only when Pope Anslemo of Lucca died and was succeeded by Pope Hildebrand of Orbetello did the furious count emerge, and only to pay the expected rights to the deceased pope. The Count of Armagnac had bigger things in mind, grandiose plots at work, any number of schemes and skullduggery which would see themselves unfulfilled due to the events of the coming year.
@ Iamwhoa- Thanks for the interest and subscription! I need more readers like you. And what kind of character did you think I was talking about?
@ Enewald- I was amazed by the amounts of 'A young maiden catches your eye...' and 'A beautiful young shepardess catches your eye...' events I got with this count, though I think the future Saint-King Roger the Strong had more than the count- that Capet had 10... TEN! Bastards when he died. More on him later.
@ Enewald- I was amazed by the amounts of 'A young maiden catches your eye...' and 'A beautiful young shepardess catches your eye...' events I got with this count, though I think the future Saint-King Roger the Strong had more than the count- that Capet had 10... TEN! Bastards when he died. More on him later.
Book One: An Occitan Kingdom
Chapter Four:
The Years 1089-1070, Or How I Spent Those Years At My Lord's Court and All I Got Were These Stab Wounds
From July onto December the count spent his time plotting away in his homely hill fort. These schemes ranged from devising ways to ensure that the merchants of Armagnac never rebelled again to meticulous scenarios in which the Count of Thouars would be murdered and even ways to confirm his wife’s fidelity to him- but none of these plots would come to life for the count was whisked away mid-January the next year, 1070, to the ducal court of Aquitaine shortly after the birth of his third son Oton.
While in Aquitaine Count Geraud served as Duke Guillaume’s right hand; he attended every council, met every envoy, and delegated every issue the Duke of Aquitaine deemed unimportant in the face of other tasks. From February on till April he even acted as the duke’s chief steward, superseding the duke’s own steward, Arnoul of La Marche. His incompetence in these matters was profound and often affected wider areas than the duke’s own territories; one such event occurred in early April when Steward-Count Geraud negotiated a disastrous contract with Berber Muslims from the increasingly Berber dominated Iberia. Out of his pride he deemed the county of Armagnac an opportune place for the Berbers to use as a mid-way base of operations; little did he know that he would be inciting further merchant rebellion by displacing numerous poverty-stricken Christian merchants.
The plummeting condition of his realm aside, Count Geraud existed as happily as a weasel amongst chickens during his year-long stay in the duke’s court. He engaged in numerous petty plots, often times ending in him bedding some minor courtier for no more apparent reason than the thrill of the act; he dodging religious traditions and obligations, even going so far as to ignoring Pope Hildebrand when he demanded that Lay Investiture be employed in Armagnac; and most of all he was removed from the upbringing of his son, Bernard d’ Armagnac, the future Crusader-Saint of Aquitaine.
By October Count Armagnac could have told Duke Guillaume that the sky was green, the sea was red, and the pope was a donkey and his liege would have believed it. So thick where these two in their endeavors that the duke celebrated his count’s departure from the ducal court with a month-long feast of absurd proportions; when Geraud left Bordeaux he was burdened with a small chest o 50 bezants and a train of cattle, sheep, and chicken to be slaughtered upon Geraud’s successful return for another absurd feast. However, the banquet never came.
Upon entering Armagnac Count Geraud d’ Armagnac’s good fortunes soured, beginning with his pinky-wound festering. As his illness continued to eat away at him his situation worsened further when he was beset upon by a group of merchants turned bandits, all of whom where penniless and furious at the ailing count for his transgressions against them. They accosted him and his train in a short, but brilliant battle which saw the deaths of the many cows, sheep, and chicken that followed the count- the animals, however, were liberated.
Amidst this all stood the count, a poor fighter too proud to lay down his blade in the face of overwhelming odds and poor health. To his wife, Azivelle de Lomagne, they said that the count died surrounded by 30 corpses of his attackers. In truth they found Count Geraud’s naked corpse riddled with stabs and slashes, a bezant placed in his mouth, and nary a merchant’s corpse near him for yards. Thus the county passed to the then child Saint Bernard of Aquitaine and all the proceeds, plots, and problems which came with the province.
Book One: An Occitan Kingdom
Interlude I
Count Geraud d’ Armagnac’s reign,
An Over-Qualified and Under-Paid British Professor’s Perspective
By Arthur P. Artley
The reign of Count Geraud of Armagnac is a reign picturesque of rulers of his time. Like most lords, and even a few ladies, of the Early Medieval period Geraud’s life was bloody, jubilant, and short; like most of the lords and ladies of the Early Medieval period he spent his time away from his domain, instead preferring to surround his liege in hopes of any left overs thrown his way- of which there were many, for the Duke Guillaume of Aquitaine was apparently an open-lord; and like most lords and ladies of the Early Medieval period he schemed more than he actually ruled. What set the Count Geraud apart from the myriad of other Frankish nobles of his time was the success of his schemes, which were often further reaching than the count likely realized.
Take for instance his treatment of the merchant class of Armagnac prior to their rebellion in 1067-1072. What began as a simple outcry against a gaffe on the part of the count soon took shape as a social revolution ending in the establishment of the first trader and craftsmen guilds of that era. Equivalent to modern day business firms each guild paid dues to the lord ruling over them in exchange for being allowed to police themselves and achieve some level autonomy; furthermore this self-regulation lead to less of a burden being placed upon the counts, dukes, and kings of the era while allowing for a vaguely middle class form of citizen to reside within the growing cities of Medieval Europe.
In the case of Armagnac’s history the settlement reached in 1072 between the rebellious merchant class and the regent and uncle of the Child-Count, later Saint-Duke, Bernard d’ Armagnac, Arnaud-Bernard d’ Armagnac lead to the establishment of merchant houses within the county a few months after the rebellion had been peaceably quelled. From these merchant houses came an unheard of increase in revenue which propelled the county’s income to be equivalent to that of some dukes of the time, some estimates ranging that the yearly income was equivalent to 4 to 5 pounds of bezants. Soon these merchant houses would spread across all of Aquitaine when Count Bernard would become Duke of Bourbon in 1097 and subsequently a major power in Aquitaine, which was then ruled by his aunt Duchess Anges of Aquitaine- though these establishments were deterred in northern, non-Occitan France and the south-eastern region of France ruled by the Dukes of Toulouse due to the unpopular idea of non-nobility ruling themselves.
With the advantage of coin on his side, the Duke Bernard of Bourbon and his heirs would be able to achieve the numerous feats which were common to the ‘House of Heroes,’ ranging from Duke Bernard’s unsuccessful crusade on Jerusalem to his grandson King Sanche I of Aquitaine’s daring ascension to kingship. All this, and more, was the result of a plot gone awry by the deceitful Count Geraud of Armagnac.
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The courtiers the games spawn, I think.
Grisly end there for Geraud, but I like how this is going. The heir already sounds like he'll be interesting.
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Well I did say that his doom would come with the glint of gold and steel! Yaaay foreshadowing.
And another merry life ends.
May the heir bring more glory to the family than his predecessor did.
May the heir bring more glory to the family than his predecessor did.
Book One: An Occitan Kingdom
Chapter Five:
The Year 1071, Or How I Spent That Year Wondering Where Mommy and Daddy Went
The first few months of Bernard’s reign were, to be frank, rough. Shocked by the sudden loss of their count, the deceased Count Geraud’s family spiraled into a state of depravity and woe- helped least of all by Countess Azivelle de Lomague’s poor handling of state affairs. While as a spy mistress she had plotted and planned her husband into prominence within the Duchy of Aquitaine, as a Count-Regent she was simply overwhelmed with all the other duties bequeathed to her late husband due to her actions as spy mistress.
Oh, she tried, and from January to March of 1071 Armagnac saw itself engulfed in another rebellion. Though a minor one in comparison to the merchant’s rebellion a year before, the rabble of peasants managed to shake the poor dowager-countess was shaken to her core and slowly began to lose her grip on the county’s affairs. All of this culminated on the 22 of April when Countess Azivelle abruptly departed from court to live out the rest of her life in a Toulousian nunnery. The regency then passed onto Bernard’s uncle and brother to the late Count Geraud, Arnaud-Bernard.
Where his brother was a cruel and deceptive statesman, Arnaud-Bernard counted himself as one of the few moral figures keeping the duchy from an unchristian state. Though far from properly pious, he possessed a firm definition of right and wrong as well as being able to stifle his greed in the face of honor or duty. His immediate actions as regent and chancellor, however, were overshadowed by the death of his infant son, Arnaud, whose ties through his mother, Anges, would have seen him inherit the Duchy of Aquitaine had he survived.
For the remainder of the year the count brooded and attempted to get his prized wife with child yet again, but to little avail. And so the year 1071 passed peacefully for the County of Armagnac, save for the scattered rebel activity and the chaffing suffered by the randy regent and his wife.
Elsewhere in the world the Germans were rebelling against their ineffective monarch, King Heinrich of Germany, whose provocations against the Pope Hildebrand- who styled himself as Gregory VII- saw the German king’s excommunication and subsequent loss of power. At the time his cunning, though overreaching, vassal Duke Gofried of Lower Lorraine alongside his wife the Duchess of Toscana had managed to seize most of Heinrich’s territory, but it would prove to be inconsequential within a few months when King Heinrich would resurge with an army bolstered by forces from Bohemia. Still this would not save his realm and the Kingdom of Germany was to see nearly two more decades of violent war before a victor would arise from the ashes of the fallen kingdom.
Book One: An Occitan Kingdom
Chapter Six:
The Year 1072, Or How I Spent My January Being Picked On By A Very Mean Man
Young Count Bernard soon found himself under the strict tutelage of his uncle and aunt, the latter of the two claiming the office of Spy Mistress in light of Azivelle’s sudden breakdown and departure. 1071 turned into 1072 which saw the annual gathering of lords to schmooze and grovel at Duke Guillaume’s feet. However the brown-nosing contest of 1072 held a special importance given that the vacuum created by the late Count Geraud showed signs of being filled with another dastardly, scheming vassal.
Count Aymery of Thouars had been more than delighted to receive news of his former rival’s grisly demise and he had taken it upon himself to fill Geraud’s place at Guillaume’s side. By January of 1072 his plans were coming to fruition and he almost grasped the coveted status of lapdog to the unassuming Duke of Aquitaine, but his plans were nearly dashed by the appearance of the young Count Bernard in the ducal court.
Only seven years old at the time, Count Bernard had been ushered to the gathering by an Arnaud-Bernard who wished to make amends with the various enemies of Armagnac. Instead of remaining the quiet little boy he was told to be, Bernard impressed himself upon the ageing Duke of Aquitaine who regarded the little boy as a mirror image of his father. The two became fast friends, a somewhat baffling fact due to their large age difference, but the Count Aymery would not stand to the side as this happened.
With far too much invested in his plots, Aymery sought to expose any glaring flaws the young Count of Armagnac may have. He did so by mentioning, in passing, Bernard’s father’s incompetence in battle, his subsequent missing pinky, and eventual death at the hands of common thugs- which threw the little Bernard into a rage, foreshadowing his temperament in later years. Screaming, throwing things, and even threatening the Count of Thouars with a spoon the young count was marched out of Aquitaine’s court by an utterly appalled and disgraced Arnaud-Bernard, who had been smoothing out relationships with other counts and crumpling the sheets with his wife. On their return he gave Bernard a thorough scolding and left it at that, but a hate boiled in the little Count of Armagnac’s body and his first sense of hostility towards the world was born.