Hello, I've been having the same problems. And only beeing able to play by launching the game 30 minutes prior to the entended play session and having to pray for nothing to go wrong is sometimes just a slight bother... and sometimes it makes me want to straight just stop playing the game in multiplayer
(When something goes wrong, it often delays the session by 15 to 30 minutes depending on how many times someone has to relaunch their game to get their paradox account to properly connect before joining the game again with always a 15 minutes delay for the save-file to be transfered over the nakama servers).
Wouldn't it be possible to make it so that if the last transfered save-file has the exact same ID as the new one that you need to download when you attempt to join a game, that it would just assume the save-file is the same and join the game in matters of seconds by only loading the said file ?
I assume this solution would at least avoid one problem: when the joining at the beginning of the session goes wrong. Of course, that would not solve the need to relaunch the game after saving following a desynch or a crash, thus forcing the new download over the servers as the save-files do not line up anymore.
Further less realistic solutions:
Another possibility would be to be able to straight up send the save-file over other channels. (having a button ingame that allows to open the save-file directory to copy-paste the save-file and send it to someone over another channel (discord, teamviewer) that doesn't take 15 minutes to transfer 60 Mo AND isn't the responsibility of paradox, at least it would make ONE viable workaround, because no other client-side workaround will be able to magically make the servers more stable/faster).
Even better would be for the servers to allow faster upload/download speeds to make all those solutions redundant, but I doubt that will be a possibility if it is all outsourced.
The BEST would be user-hosted servers first for the longevity of the game and not having to rely on bad servers/netcode in the first place, but I doubt it would be realistic so far into the production cycle.