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Welcome to the COMSTAR WEEKLY NEWS ROUND UP. I am your host Na tori Kashigama bringing you the latest in Inner sphere news. Tonight, more updates in the south. Has the civil war among the periphery nations come to a head? Is an end in sight? What does that mean for the Augraians? THEN. Peacekeepers on Liao. Will they keep the peace? THEN. PEACE AT ORKNEY! The people on Carthage are free but what about the Agurian Units. THEN. DAVION RECALLS FORCES FROM AURIGA. Was a planetary wide Orgy to blame? THEN. MARIAN HEGEMONY FORCES LEAVE RYANS FATE. Was there a shot fired? And finally. Is the Free Worlds League now under administrative control? All these stories and more tonight on the Comstar Weekly news roundup.
On Wednesday MH spokesman said in a press conference on Alphard: Regarding the so-called "offer" of the FWL, the hegemony has the following to state: "As the AC has taken actions to sell planets and periphery factories to CC and has also leaked quotes from the alliance channel to CC Maskirovka service, the MH will take appropriate action to seal the leak. We strongly advise the FWL to mind their own business on this matter, as the FWL would react likewise if an ally would try to sell its planets to a third party. Also, we want to stress, that we are not going all in on the AC, with all alliance members, in order to allow AC honorable combat with as less civilian casualties as possible. So the reaction of the FWL is both, unjustified and overkill. Such are actions causing civilian losses and destruction without any valid justification.
Meanwhile, The Marien Hegemony landed with 48 Mechs on Ryan on Wednesday. Top Analysts were initially baffled by how a periphery state could field that many Mechs in a single operation. There are three possible solutions outlined by Aurigian Analysts. One. The Marien Hegemony made a tactical error binding that many mechs in one assault so far away from their home, leaving it vulnerable to outside attackers. the Marien Hegemony want to flee to Aurigian Space because they fear to lose against the FWL attack. Or three. The Marien Hegemony found a hidden stash of Mechs somewhere. Top analysts still are unsure of how the Marien Hegemony was able to field so many mechs during the campaign, and further investigations are pending.
In other News, the FS Forces landed in Carthage but were bound in a Recon operation before they could declare a Raid or Sabotage Run for themselves. Again, Analysts are baffled by those actions. FS lost 3 Planets to the CC and now a respectable Force is stuck for Days on Carthage, unable to help to defend the homefront.
On Thursday, The previous leader of the Taurian Concordant stepped down to health issues. Clutching his goldfish and raving about bacon and biscuits in long-winded metaphors. Lyconnus ascended with rounding applause as he vowed to bring stability and most important more bacon to the war-torn region.
The second Free Worlds Guards has Deployed Peacekeepers on Liao "to protect the institutional instability of the region," the Elector-General was quoted saying on Friday in a press conference. "We cannot tolerate a stable, meritocratic constitutional monarchy on our borders. Why do our people decide to emigrate? We much prefer to have the Capellan Confederation as our neighbor, they don't even have toilet paper! Besides "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!" Needless to say, these insults caused an outrage on Twit-Com.
Sources close to the Elector-General suggest this move is perhaps naked aggression, however it might be construed as a deflection from the ongoing investigation of this administration's ties to prominent shadow businessmen in the Lyran Commonwealth. The Businessmen are reported to be top executives in the popular "aquatic sports" industry. Political opponents of the administration claim that these businessmen have bribed the Elector-General within his tenure. The Elector-General's lawyer, Harvey Birdman, is reported as saying, "I'll take the case!" Litigation will start this week with opening statements. The Honorable Judge Mentok will preside over the proceedings.
In other news the people of Carthage have been liberated from their bovine oppressors, Aurigan units had no choice but to again push into Taurian territory in retaliation for their raids on Liao. With a portion of their forces actively engaged by the brave Capellan warriors on Bellatrix, the Taurians did not expect swift Aurigan Justice.
Winning a string of victories, Aurigan Guard elements led by Commander Sarkany (the hero of Carthage) established a beachhead on Taurus, pinning the bulk of the Taurian military on the planet, including a surprise unaccounted for a unit that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Outnumbered 3:1 on Taurus, the Guard engaged a force led by Danok, the chief cow, and won handily.
Defeated once again, Danok abdicated his position in a surprise move that involved unbalanced ravings regarding “Liao”, “Chancellor Harmen”, Fucking Kidszin” and “Aurigan lapdogs.”
The great champion, Commander Lyconnus, was then sworn in as leader of the Taurians. Rallying his forces, he engaged Sarkany in the snowy mountains around the spaceport. Outgunned by the larger Aurigan mechs, Lyconnus led a cunning defense but ultimately was defeated.
Meanwhile, Aurigan Supreme Leader Tegatana led elements of Tegan’s Last Hope in a strike on Orkney, conquering the planet.
The final battle on Orkney proved a tough contest with Aurigan forces facing a King Crab. Tegatana overcame the heavier forces. Heroics were on display on both sides. A pivotal moment was when Sergeant Miller charged his armless, crippled mech at a Catapult, kicking in the cockpit while screaming “STEAK! its WHAT’S FOR DINNER!”
In the aftermath of the battle, Supreme Leader Tegatana negotiated a new peace with the Taurians who ceded their claims to both Orkney and Gaul to Auriga.
Both Gaul and Orkney are now under Aurigan administration with a more balanced diet already offered at most restaurants. A witness to the battle named Deckard Cain was reported saying, "I tried to tell them there was no secret cow layer, but no one ever listens!"
Federated Sun forces that had jumped into Carthage on Friday and landed assault class mechs on the planet have reboarded their dropship and jumped to parts unknown.
The elements of the vaunted Tegan’s Last Hope had managed to ambush the Davion forces as they deployed and engaged in a recon attack before Davion could begin their offensive.
Local citizens report, however, that both sides refrained from firing a shot and the Federated Sun forces left of their own accord.
A spokesman for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs stated that an understanding had been reached with Davion regarding the Taurian Concordant in light of the Treaty of Orkney and that Davion has accepted the fact that Carthage, Orkney and Gaul “are now matters for the Ministry of Home Worlds and no longer a subject for Foreign Affairs, if you see what I mean."
In a surprise move, the massive invasion force the Marian Hegemony that landed on Ryan’s Fate last month has been withdrawn. The Marians asked to leave immediately without firing a shot in their declared offensive. Top military officials were baffled by this update on both sides.
Ministry of Defense officials suspect that the Marians were invading Liao in an effort to find an “easier target” but now, it has been discovered that both Marik and the Magistry of Canopus landed their forces on the Marian homeworlds in an effort to find a new home.
Comstar confirms that almost 1/3 of the Marian army is now made up of Centurions. When asked why the Marians would so highly value Centurions, one local mech warrior was reported as saying, "I'm proud to be his adversary" He said. "We had some trials, we made some mistakes, and we had some sex, I mean, Setbacks... But now we shall invest our energy elsewhere."
Aurigan Guard mech warrior, Corporal Sean Harvester, who watched the Centurions load up in the Marian Overlord dropship opined that the number of Centurions with their distinctive helmets “made sense” because their leader was “a right bell end”. He further said. "The love of my life is leaving on that drop ship." We were to be married before the withdraw was declared, but now I ride the skies alone."
UPDATE: since publication, Ministry of Defense officials have disavowed Corporal Harvester’s statement and reminded the press that the Corporal spoke merely for himself and not the government. In any case, Auriga is now at peace.
Finally tonight, a bulletin paid for by the FREE WORLDS LEAGUE
After repeated violations of the Periphery Alliance Treaty and a declaration of war against the Aurigan Coalition and the Capellan Confederation, the FWLM has taken decisive action.
The Hegemony system of Marius' Tears is now under Free Worlds League administrative control, after a series of tactical missteps by the leader of the Hegemony. With this territory under control, it is expected that the Marian homeworlds will be under new management by the end of the week. Plans are being drafted to establish all three systems under the administrative aegis of the Magistracy of Canopus, who has proven to be a staunch and loyal ally to the Free Worlds League through all this region's recent turmoil.
Additionally, League forces are moving to support their allies in the Capellan Confederation, helping to push back the tide of Davion aggression. While the Federated Suns have already suffered numerous setbacks in their war with House Liao, it is expected that the arrival of fresh Marik forces will turn the stalemate into a Davion retreat.
In other news, the Free Worlds League's economy continues to thrive, and GDP has reached a 23-year high. Anyone seeking lucrative employment contracts with the FWL should contact their nearest recruiting offices; substantial signing bonuses are available for established mercenary units.
Until next week, I am your host Na tori Kashigama, reporting from COMSTAR. COMSTAR the Inner sphere's most trusted name in news. and remember, always stay classy Inner Sphere!
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