The problem is that most PI games do this by spawning arbitrary rebels that annoy you into quitting the game instead of making an actual challenge. Chasing rebels from province to province isn't any fun for anyone. Another big problem is that the game doesn't have any real macro management ability to put the player on par with what a computer can do.It's easy to solve, just not in a way that most players will agree to. Because most players want to see this happening to others - not to themselves. Then the game/devs are just punishing them.
Don't be arbitrary and outfront reveal the mechanics of it. Don't say "you have too many provinces, please wait 75 years to start a war again". That doesn't even make any sense, and is clearly showing that the game is punishing you for "being a little too big", when that shouldn't be your only reason for having problems. Find a more fun way to do it, like in CK2.
But don't hold the player's hand. Who cares if they post a few negative "too hard Q.Q" threads? Tell them to play on easy mode, use cheats, or mod the game. :/ Why give crybabies any more than three options?
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