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Can someone give me advice on which clan to play I don't want too big or too small just somwhere i can start and get some good expansion.

I always liked the Satomi clan (out on the soth-eastern peninsula). You have 4 provinces and one neighbor, also with four provinces, and behind them a one province minor (good for plotting with) and beyond that the crumbling Koga-Ashikaga.
 
The Shimazu is a nice clan and offers a lot of play options. Their only drawback is being in one of the corners of Japan, meaning you might not be able to influence what goes on in the middle.

With the Shimazu you can start by breaking one of your neighbours in two, thus annexing each smaller part separately, then, you can set yourself to conquer Kyushu. Your biggest rival will be the Ouchi, they are usually tied down in the Onin war at the begginning, but they will benefit of it and, once you are ready to take them, you will probably need some help from other clans, so... playing with plots!
 
I'm having a ball with Osaki, though Nanbu would likely work just as well. Secure the north, then creep south.
 
I like scrapping my way from the very bottom so went for Gomo.... its not a clan infact I dont know what clan its in, but I am having a lot of fun ripping my clan apart through politics :)
 
Looking through the ledger, I imagine the Kitabatake would be a good starting dynasty. You start with four provinces, you start at peace, and you start arguably as powerful as your liege.

The Kitabatake are located in Ise (under the Ishikki).
 
I like scrapping my way from the very bottom so went for Gomo.... its not a clan infact I dont know what clan its in, but I am having a lot of fun ripping my clan apart through politics :)

Lord Gomo is just a nobleman and vassal of the Shimazu. Once you break free from them you will start Clan Gomo.
 
LOL just ninjahonorraped (Love it !!!! ) both of the lieges now the vassels both think they stink.
Time to enact my plot me thinks !!! :)

Loving this game.

Just a problem with all the inbred children !! ( no joke !!! its infuriating !! )
 
So i decided to go with Date (I picked there banner for my avatar before hand) So far all is good I took over a OPM and I am a Shinto follower this a turly great game this why paradox is #1 in my book.
 
I started with Shimazu, and while it was easy enough to conquer Otomo, I found disloyalty among my vassals to be my biggest problem.

you should be able to fix that by giving your vassals more titles and or provinces. Also Try arranging marriages as well as gifts that usually does the trick!
 
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I played as a one prov vassal of the Yamana my first run through. But despite having 7 provinces, and holding 2/3 of the provs needed for the Mimasaka Daimyo, and a rating of 35 positive likeness from my liege, that twerp wouldn't give me the daimyo title...