Hello, as many will remember I did a AAR on Saxony witch seemed to have a big impact on the community as many great AAR's are using the infamous general BoB. Long ago I promised another AAR but many things got in the way and as I felt the WTC disaster impact (I live 45 minutes away) I really didnt feel very happy
. But as life goes on so must the show and here is my, humble, AAR.
On December 25, 1491, a group of people, apparently running away from the fall of saxony stormed the palace in Constantinople and took the reigns of power...
Me-OK! We made a little boo-boo back in Saxony but nothing can stop my destiny! We can now get back to buiseness, in MY brand spankin new country, Bisantum!
Advisor-BOO-BOO?!? You led hundreds of thousands of inocent people to there deaths for your own ego! And how can it be 1492? Saxony fell in the 1540's for christ sake! And its not Bisantum, it Byzantium.
Me-First of all they wouldn't have died if my army could fight off a flock of pidgeons! Secondly, your too stupid to understand but theres a time difference between countrys. Thirdly I dont care what its called! Now, tell me of my new country and all its splendor!
Advisor- R-i-g-h-t??... Umm, our "country" is riddled with disentary, famine, and our "country" is about half as big as our last one. Most official are corrupted pass the point of..
Guard- Ummm, excuse me? Who the hell are you and where is our king?
Me- Ohh ya, I should have probably told you that I stormed your palace and killed your king, my bad.
Guard- ok, just checking...
Advisor- sir, you should probably have told the people that you are now there leader...
Me- good idea! I will give them a speech.
*walks up to podium*
Me- All basumtins, I am your new leader, K?
*Mumbling crowd* Ya, whatever, thats nice.'
Me- I feel you pain, and I plan to lead Bysilimperine to glory.
*Mumbling crowd* grand, now can we PLEASE eat??????!!!
Me- It will be a hard roa... where are you going!?
Small child- sir, sir! this is the time of the day were all Byzantynes see whether or not they get to eat scum off the back of a outhouse, its become very popular...
Me- *sigh* why couldn't I have stormed Paris or madrid or london? Does god really hate me that much?!?!
*I leave to see our army*
Me- Hello general, how are the men?
General- Depressed, starving, and un-trained. The only reason they haven't deserted is becouse I keep there hopes up, but my words can't fill there stomachs, or stop there little brothers or sisters from dieing before they've even met them... The men also know that when the sword of Islam falls, they will be the the only thing that can stop it from hitting there families...
Me- Hmmm, tht isn't good is it?
General- No, it isn't. By the way, who are you?
Me- I am the king of Bysanteram!
General- I normally would try to kill someone like you but I am tired of killing people, I need to get another hobby, like arts and crafts.
Me- OK...
*I go to the palace to set up my goverment*
Me- ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz.......
Advisor- wake up sir, the meetings over and we have a new goverment set up. We also rallied the people to a common cause, hired a few more troops, and reformed the econ...
Me- 5 MORE MINUTES YOU ****** *******!!!!
*I meet with with my allince*
Me- OK, anyone want to say somthing?
Venice- I am richer than all of you, larger and better armed, why am I not the leader?
serbia- I do not beleive in war but I will take as much as possible from your hard work if we go to war, I just wanted to make sure everyone relizes that.
Georgia- If we go to war I can only help by letting people seige my citties and all die due to attrition, K?
Wallachia- F*** all of you, my people want war!!! We may not have a economy but I will Build armies until they outnumber my people 10 to 1! GOT IT!!!!!!!
Me- OK... looks good! See you next christmas!
Venice- Ill bring the fruitcake!
*I get bored and declare war on turkey*
General- Troops, I have just been informed that we declared war on turkey and have about half an hour to prepare for battle.
*my troops move into the province just north of my capital and attack a small force of Turks*
Turkish general- Troops! we are outnumbered heavily, We will surrender imediatly and pledge our support to there glorius cause!
*Troops* YAY!!!
My general- They have a white flag!!! Retreat!!!
*Troops* AHHH, Run away!!!
*my troops loose to the turks*
Me- Ok, who ordered the retreat and then the mass suicide of a random number of troops?
General- Oh that was carl, hes new.
Carl- Ya, My bad.
*I go back to my palace only to find 50,000 turks there, so I set up a small camp in a obscure forest*
Me- I will not surender, this will not be another debacle like bohemia was!
Advisor- sir, I found someone who can help, but you need to promise not to try and kill him, K?
Me- Its not who I think its is, is it?
*A man with no pants on and his shirt inside out walks into the room*
BoB-SmuRFY MacDOOgLe?!?!
Me- You cant buy my trust BoB.
BoB- The CHippers ARE the KIng Of ENGlaNd
Me- No BoB, I don't think you understand how depressed I was after I discovered we couldn't annex Prussia... I thought I killed you for that?
Advisor- That was actually a broom and a smily face pasted on.
Me- Ohhh
BoB- Smidle...
Me- My god, hes right! Put him at the command of our army. BoB, I forgive you, how could I have tried to kill you, a true Genius! I never could have thought of that!
*My troops meet the turks and kill them as they plead for forgiveness, the rath of BoB has just begun*
BoB- ChARGe!
*confused officer* They are all dead?
BoB- smOOp...
*confused officer* OOOOOOOOOkkkkkkkk??????
*we seige, The provence falls, we go to macedonia, seige, it falls, turks surrender*
Me- Did BoB win that battle?
Advisor- He did, then he raped the turks and got a peace with Maedonia and that provence north of us that no one ever figured out the name of.
Me- HOLY ****!!!
Advisor- He is right now forming a cult called AEHA or Anti Evil Hegdehog Asosiation.
Me- OHH MY GOD!!! Bring him here.
BoB- Cluufeers.?,?
Me- HAHAHA, good one old freind. Id like to gift you that province above us for all the work you have done for us, It will be forever known as "BOB LAND"
BoB- I R GooDLY!
Me- yes, you are my old freind.
* At a party in Paris *
Me- ...Then he said "Thats not a Turk, thats my wife!"
*french nobility* Ha ha ha! Very funny!
Advisor- Sir come here!
Me- What made you interupt my pointless joking around with rich people?
Advisor- Id like you to meet the King of Portugal, his wife, and there daughter, SaM...
Portugese king- How do you do?
Portugese wife- Its a pleasure to meet you.
SaM- SuMeritAN SLEruber
Me- What a lovely daughter!
*BoB Runs over covered in Gravy*
BoB- LikE mE Hedge hog RepelaNT!?
BoB-...Chirrper...
Me- Ohh BoB this is SaM, SaM meet BoB.
SaM- ...Smappy...
BoB- ...Blurbal...
Me- Well, we'll leave you two alone
*Six hours pass where BoB and SaM sit in the corner repeating the same thing until they suddenly get married and my relations with portugal rise*
*at the wedding*
preist- And do you, BoB, take this women to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer until death do you part?
BoB- Me haVE grAVy In poOPer!
Me- Its so buitiful *cries*
Preist- you may kiss the bride...
*Ill skip the mushy stuff *
*BoB takes A honeymoon during witch I sleep alot and nothing happens... this continues for 10 YEARS!*
Me- Good morning, Anything interesting happen latly
Advisor- Naa
Me- Friggin A! Lets invade the Mameluks, just so we dont die of boardom!!!
Advisor- K, nuttin else ta do.
*We land and defeat the mameluks, capture there cities, and gain Alexandria and delta*
Five years later...
Me- BoB, we will invade and capture all of turkey, Ready?
BoB- No, we must destroy all mameluks!!!
Me- What? You seem to be rambling...
BoB- AfEr gOOrge ingeR???
Me- OOOh, ok, Your the man...
*Invade and destroy Mameluks, capture 3 provs, 2 next to Jordan, witch we promptly destroy, followed by Omen*
Me- Well, that was easy...
Advisor- Persia Just declared war on us!! and are seiging Jordan, And they destroyed or main army there!!!
Me- Get BoB!!!
Advisor- He is on a trip to Portugal to meet SaMs parents.
Me- Uhhh Ohhhh...
Well, this is were I stoped last, If you want me to continue I will, If you think this is retarded just say so. Either way its 2 in the morning and I need to get some sleep...
I bid you farewell...
. But as life goes on so must the show and here is my, humble, AAR.On December 25, 1491, a group of people, apparently running away from the fall of saxony
stormed the palace in Constantinople and took the reigns of power...Me-OK! We made a little boo-boo back in Saxony but nothing can stop my destiny! We can now get back to buiseness, in MY brand spankin new country, Bisantum!
Advisor-BOO-BOO?!? You led hundreds of thousands of inocent people to there deaths for your own ego! And how can it be 1492? Saxony fell in the 1540's for christ sake! And its not Bisantum, it Byzantium.
Me-First of all they wouldn't have died if my army could fight off a flock of pidgeons! Secondly, your too stupid to understand but theres a time difference between countrys
. Thirdly I dont care what its called! Now, tell me of my new country and all its splendor!Advisor- R-i-g-h-t??... Umm, our "country" is riddled with disentary, famine, and our "country" is about half as big as our last one. Most official are corrupted pass the point of..
Guard- Ummm, excuse me? Who the hell are you and where is our king?
Me- Ohh ya, I should have probably told you that I stormed your palace and killed your king, my bad.
Guard- ok, just checking...
Advisor- sir, you should probably have told the people that you are now there leader...
Me- good idea! I will give them a speech.
*walks up to podium*
Me- All basumtins, I am your new leader, K?
*Mumbling crowd* Ya, whatever, thats nice.'
Me- I feel you pain, and I plan to lead Bysilimperine to glory.
*Mumbling crowd* grand, now can we PLEASE eat??????!!!
Me- It will be a hard roa... where are you going!?
Small child- sir, sir! this is the time of the day were all Byzantynes see whether or not they get to eat scum off the back of a outhouse, its become very popular...
Me- *sigh* why couldn't I have stormed Paris or madrid or london? Does god really hate me that much?!?!
*I leave to see our army*
Me- Hello general, how are the men?
General- Depressed, starving, and un-trained. The only reason they haven't deserted is becouse I keep there hopes up, but my words can't fill there stomachs, or stop there little brothers or sisters from dieing before they've even met them... The men also know that when the sword of Islam falls, they will be the the only thing that can stop it from hitting there families...
Me- Hmmm, tht isn't good is it?
General- No, it isn't. By the way, who are you?
Me- I am the king of Bysanteram!
General- I normally would try to kill someone like you but I am tired of killing people, I need to get another hobby, like arts and crafts.
Me- OK...
*I go to the palace to set up my goverment*
Me- ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz.......
Advisor- wake up sir, the meetings over and we have a new goverment set up. We also rallied the people to a common cause, hired a few more troops, and reformed the econ...
Me- 5 MORE MINUTES YOU ****** *******!!!!
*I meet with with my allince*
Me- OK, anyone want to say somthing?
Venice- I am richer than all of you, larger and better armed, why am I not the leader?
serbia- I do not beleive in war but I will take as much as possible from your hard work if we go to war, I just wanted to make sure everyone relizes that.
Georgia- If we go to war I can only help by letting people seige my citties and all die due to attrition, K?
Wallachia- F*** all of you, my people want war!!! We may not have a economy but I will Build armies until they outnumber my people 10 to 1! GOT IT!!!!!!!
Me- OK... looks good! See you next christmas!
Venice- Ill bring the fruitcake!
*I get bored and declare war on turkey*
General- Troops, I have just been informed that we declared war on turkey and have about half an hour to prepare for battle.
*my troops move into the province just north of my capital and attack a small force of Turks*
Turkish general- Troops! we are outnumbered heavily, We will surrender imediatly and pledge our support to there glorius cause!
*Troops* YAY!!!
My general- They have a white flag!!! Retreat!!!
*Troops* AHHH, Run away!!!
*my troops loose to the turks*
Me- Ok, who ordered the retreat and then the mass suicide of a random number of troops?
General- Oh that was carl, hes new.
Carl- Ya, My bad.
*I go back to my palace only to find 50,000 turks there, so I set up a small camp in a obscure forest*
Me- I will not surender, this will not be another debacle like bohemia was!
Advisor- sir, I found someone who can help, but you need to promise not to try and kill him, K?
Me- Its not who I think its is, is it?
*A man with no pants on and his shirt inside out walks into the room*
BoB-SmuRFY MacDOOgLe?!?!
Me- You cant buy my trust BoB.
BoB- The CHippers ARE the KIng Of ENGlaNd
Me- No BoB, I don't think you understand how depressed I was after I discovered we couldn't annex Prussia... I thought I killed you for that?
Advisor- That was actually a broom and a smily face pasted on.
Me- Ohhh
BoB- Smidle...
Me- My god, hes right! Put him at the command of our army. BoB, I forgive you, how could I have tried to kill you, a true Genius! I never could have thought of that!
*My troops meet the turks and kill them as they plead for forgiveness, the rath of BoB has just begun*
BoB- ChARGe!
*confused officer* They are all dead?
BoB- smOOp...
*confused officer* OOOOOOOOOkkkkkkkk??????
*we seige, The provence falls, we go to macedonia, seige, it falls, turks surrender*
Me- Did BoB win that battle?
Advisor- He did, then he raped the turks and got a peace with Maedonia and that provence north of us that no one ever figured out the name of.
Me- HOLY ****!!!
Advisor- He is right now forming a cult called AEHA or Anti Evil Hegdehog Asosiation.
Me- OHH MY GOD!!! Bring him here.
BoB- Cluufeers.?,?
Me- HAHAHA, good one old freind. Id like to gift you that province above us for all the work you have done for us, It will be forever known as "BOB LAND"
BoB- I R GooDLY!
Me- yes, you are my old freind.
* At a party in Paris *
Me- ...Then he said "Thats not a Turk, thats my wife!"
*french nobility* Ha ha ha! Very funny!
Advisor- Sir come here!
Me- What made you interupt my pointless joking around with rich people?
Advisor- Id like you to meet the King of Portugal, his wife, and there daughter, SaM...
Portugese king- How do you do?
Portugese wife- Its a pleasure to meet you.
SaM- SuMeritAN SLEruber
Me- What a lovely daughter!
*BoB Runs over covered in Gravy*
BoB- LikE mE Hedge hog RepelaNT!?
BoB-...Chirrper...
Me- Ohh BoB this is SaM, SaM meet BoB.
SaM- ...Smappy...
BoB- ...Blurbal...
Me- Well, we'll leave you two alone
*Six hours pass where BoB and SaM sit in the corner repeating the same thing until they suddenly get married and my relations with portugal rise*
*at the wedding*
preist- And do you, BoB, take this women to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer until death do you part?
BoB- Me haVE grAVy In poOPer!
Me- Its so buitiful *cries*
Preist- you may kiss the bride...
*Ill skip the mushy stuff
* *BoB takes A honeymoon during witch I sleep alot and nothing happens... this continues for 10 YEARS!*
Me- Good morning, Anything interesting happen latly
Advisor- Naa
Me- Friggin A! Lets invade the Mameluks, just so we dont die of boardom!!!
Advisor- K, nuttin else ta do.
*We land and defeat the mameluks, capture there cities, and gain Alexandria and delta*
Five years later...
Me- BoB, we will invade and capture all of turkey, Ready?
BoB- No, we must destroy all mameluks!!!
Me- What? You seem to be rambling...
BoB- AfEr gOOrge ingeR???
Me- OOOh, ok, Your the man...
*Invade and destroy Mameluks, capture 3 provs, 2 next to Jordan, witch we promptly destroy, followed by Omen*
Me- Well, that was easy...
Advisor- Persia Just declared war on us!! and are seiging Jordan, And they destroyed or main army there!!!
Me- Get BoB!!!
Advisor- He is on a trip to Portugal to meet SaMs parents.
Me- Uhhh Ohhhh...
Well, this is were I stoped last, If you want me to continue I will, If you think this is retarded
just say so. Either way its 2 in the morning and I need to get some sleep... I bid you farewell...
