I don't play Germany - I am the RN. CVEs or DD-ASW absolutely do not beat subs - subs annihilate them, "with losses occasionally" as you say.Planes (sometimes) find subs, the ships immediately join the fight, the sub takes no damage (usually) and kills 1-3 DDs (always). So that doesn't actually make planes very useful, they just facilitate getting my DDs killed off. If they did noticeable damage to subs, or if DDs could fight back, sure, they'd be great.
Yes, subs did lots of damage. They also got sunk in massive numbers when aircraft and/or DDs actually found them. The first part is reflected well, the second part is not reflected at all.
Hehe well it does take practice but it´s not that tough. The trick is using "big" fleets (more than 3 destroyer flotillas, up to 10) and if possible with CVE and air support; and up-to-date doctrines. Small fleets indeed get slaughtered since damage will be focused. And using spotter leaders help finding flottilas ASAP. Are you playing or Hard or Very Hard? In Normal I have no problems at all.