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Solution to be eligible for all missions: do exactly what the missions say; not more, not less. Then finish, and start a new one. That way, you wont expand much, build only when missions say you should (and you'll drown in forts), but you wont miss a mission!
Jokes aside, I'd also like a list
Have you checked the wiki? It's not completely finished but you'll get some answers there:
imperator.paradoxwikis.com