I just finished reading your first post. The thing I like most about it is that your characters boast of their achievement in battle and looting, nobody truly seems proud of themselves They all seem just a bit ashamed of what they’ve done. Yet, I am sure they will do it again. I will definitely keep reading.
Thank you, truly! That tension, between bravado and shame, between the stories they tell and the things they cannot quite admit to themselves, is the heart of any story of conflict. The campaign left me with a court haunted by what they’ve won: loot, relics, and the bell itself, but also fear, suspicion, and a kind of moral unease that none of them can shake. No one can afford to be entirely proud or entirely sorry; everyone is carrying debts, I'm glad that came through clearly.
And yes, you’ve caught it exactly: whatever remorse they feel, the world they live in will push them to repeat it. Sometimes the stories that last are the ones that wound the deepest. I’m grateful you’re following along.
---
Nice, solid work, @MichOrion. Extremely detailed character building, though I'm waiting for Yevdokia to more than slink in the shadows.
There was a good discussion about serialization, including bits on post length and dialogue in the SolAARium, in case you are interested. I’ve always preferred the 'bite size' approach with a 'hook', or cliffhanger to whet the reader's appetite for more. Chapter 3 was a long read, but your use of paragraph breaks and 'white space' made it manageable. Personally, I would have split the chapter into two segments, with the rope snapping being a perfect cliffhanger.
That said, not everyone has the time for a long read, and that may turn off some people. Heaven knows, we're having enough trouble getting people to read other AARs so they can pass along the various awards without it going into the dreaded 'Open for Nomination' category.
Anyway, great start. I'll be checking this one out. BTW, I just noticed you've been around almost as long as I have.
Thank you, LD, for the detailed and thoughtful response, it means a lot! I’m glad the character work is coming through, even if some of them (Yevdokia especially!) are still holding their cards close for now. Her time in the spotlight is coming; she’s a spymaster in every sense, waiting for her chance to tip the balance.
I really appreciate the note about structure and serialization. My own taste runs toward long episodes too, with a hook to carry things forward. I struggled a bit with chapter length, since events were so tightly linked. I’ll experiment more with segmenting, especially as the saga gets busier and the court fills up.
Glad the white space and breaks worked for you. I’ll take the advice and aim for punchier installments where possible. Thanks again for reading, and for your sage advice.
---
Your atmosphere is fabulous. It further confirms my belief that living in Russia at any moment in history is a dismal business. If you’re poor, the rich trample you. If you’re rich, the other oligarchs will eat you if you show weakness. It’s also really freaking cold.
I do agree with other readers about the length of your post, but I would offer another solution besides splitting your chapter. You have a lot of repetition and sometimes it gets distracting. See the quotes below.
(quotes of duplicate character descriptions follow)
I think with just one of these posts per chapter, you could establish what the characters are doing and, if they’re doing the same thing as the previous chapter, maybe it doesn’t add anything to the chapter to have them keep doing the same thing. You could skip it.
I’m curious about Yevdokia. I hope she makes an insightful report to the prince sometime soon with what she has learned.
I also hope you know that I am enjoying your story a lot. I hope my observations help you make it even better.
Thank you, Sirdramaticus! Your feedback is both generous and sharp, exactly what I hope for. I’m glad the atmosphere landed for you.
You’re absolutely right about the repetition, especially with Yevdokia. I’ve been working to track character presence and “camera time” closely, but in some scenes, I caught myself circling the same gesture or mood a little too often. That’s a habit from writing AARs with big casts and wanting to make sure no one gets left behind, but you’re right that a single, decisive moment per chapter does more than three weak echoes. I’ll watch it in the next scenes, especially as Yevdokia’s role grows sharper. She’s due for more direct action and insight soon.
Your observations absolutely help—keep them coming! It’s a privilege to have such engaged readers.
Chapter 3 Part 2 coming soon!
- 2