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After that unfair attack and unfounded accusations by the ottoman empire and Spain (?) who are supposed to be enemies here is a new treaty signed by two powers

The Treaty of Surgut

Nation X will have control of the ***** *** provinces including ******* and Nation Y will have control of everything else north of ********* . However control of ****** will be sold to Nation Y for the sum of {undisclosed} ducats in the year **** or when Nation X {censored}.

Signed Anonymous


The Okrana may have tampered with the document :D
 
Nonoono, I, Joohoo Bushman would never align myself with an infidel. I was just an appendix of what he told you. Think of my comments as ! after what the Sultan wrote but from my tongue.

Did you get it? :D
 
Prince Fnuco Vasa greets the voivode of Muscowy as a friend and ally. May we co-exist in peace and bring civilization to the restless Europe south of our borders.
 
Ottoman Empire 1492-1508: The failed conversions

The messenger was trembling. He had brought news to his master, the Sultan, of dire events. The master had not said anything yet, merely brushed his scales a few times. The messenger knew that Caelin Elessedil was seen as a benevolent ruler, yet still he remembered the stories of what happened to bringers of bad news before the Others came. What bad news, you might ask. Well, the Sultan had ordered his diplomats to visit the other nations around the black sea, to sign trade agreements which would allow our ships docking priviliges in their harbours and would make all prosper. However, the orthodox countries of Georgia and Moldavia, supported by the vengeful Knights of Rhodes, declined any reasonable offer from the Sultan. Apparently they still believed no treaty should ever be signed with a muslim. Instead, they sent raiders to plunder our villages and rape our women. Yet, they would
not declare war officialy, since the might of the Ottoman Empire was apparent.

Caelin Elessedil rose. His voice rang clear throughout the hall: "If these countries think they can ignore our requests for treaties and shamelessly raid our villages, they shall be mistaken. The Empire shall not take these insults."
After that, he summoned his generals and prepared for war. First target was the nation of Moldavia. Since they had no army, they were quickly overrun and forced to cede a strip of land along the Black Sea coast to the Ottoman Empire. Trade in that region was now assured for the Turks. After this swift action, the Knights of Rhodes and Georgia ceased their actions against the Empire, and Caelin Elessedil cancelled the attack against those countries for they apparently had learned their lesson.

Years passed. Money was spent on improving infrastructure and obtaining the new gun type weapons. The army was kept large at all times to make sure nothing could threaten the Empire. Missionaries were sent to bring the mislead orthodox and catholics back to the true Sunni faith. This however, failed extraordinarly much, even though high succes rates were predicted. Must be a twist of faith, thought the Sultan. An alliance was signed between our Empire and Venice, for the good of both nations.

Some time after that, the evil Knights of Rhodes, allied with Georgia, began their sneak attacks again. Caelin Elessedil immediately declared war upon both nations and set out to conquer Rhodes and force Georgia into submission. All was going well, their cities besieged, when suddenly an unexpected event occured. The nation of Hungary allied with the Knights and Georgia and attacked us in the back! Luckily, the Sultan had prepared for such an event. Armies were at the ready, equipped with the new guns that Hungary did not have yet. Their forces were quickly beaten and siege was laid on many of their provinces. In the meantime, the war against Georgia and the Knights was succesful. Georgia was forced to cede the province of Sochi and military access, while Rhodes was fully incorporated in the Ottoman Empire.

War against Hungary was progressing well, when Austria (former ally of Hungary) suddenly declared war upon us. They were undoubtedly trying to secure their inheritance. Quickly peace with Hungary was signed, they had to cede the provinces of Croatia, Banat and Transylvania. Austria saw the armies of the Ottoman Empire outnumbered their own, so they retreated from our border. However, they instead decided to attack Venice. The Netherlands and Bohemia, allies to Austria, sent their troops as well. Seeing his ally's predicament, Caelin Elessedil ordered a cavalry detachment of 50k men under the command of general Turenne No2 to board the Imperial fleet and sail towards Venice. En route, the fleet encountered a dutch fleet of 65 ships planning to attack Constantinople! The Dutch however, had apparently not done their homework. They had forgotten the Imperial fleet was the largest in the known world, and their admiral (Kemal Reis 4-5-5) was one of the best. The Dutch fleet was quickly beaten, 20 of their ships sunk while the Ottoman Empire lost only 2. They ran with their tail between their legs, losing even more ships to attrition in the flight. Our fleet continued towards Italy, and once there the cavalry detachment engaged 50k Austrian troops in Mantua. Our cavalry outnumbered theirs, and after killing 30k Austrians their general wisely retreated. When next a Bohemian army of 40k men was totally annihilated, the Emperor in Vienna quickly signed a White peace with the Sultan and the Doge. War was over.

The remaining years until 1508 were spent converting, which failed around 3/4 of the time, while according to estimated succes rates it should only fail around 1/3 of the time. Bad luck. Still the Empire prospered in 1508, with a bright future ahead of it under the reign of the Others.
 
Protocol from the Kings council, the first of January, in the year 1508.
1. I greet everyone welcome. Hello!
2. The Spanish ambassador is granted permission to take part in the meeting. Buddy.
3. Admiral van Illa is discharged.
4. The brave conquistadors Almeida and Alfonso de Albuquerque, and the explorer Vasco da Gama is knighted for their conquest of several strategic provinces in the Far East. Go, go, go!
5. I tell everyone my new joke.
6. Everybody laughs. They better do.
7. I decided to further invest in trade posts.
8. Discussion about what to call the area in the new world, south-west of Cap Verde. The name must include a “z” (funny letter). The current proposals are Brazil, Hazzil or Ozzil.
9. Count Mazzena is sent on a diplomatic mission to several countries in Europe. Expensive – hmpf……
10. Report from Baron Teixeira regarding the current situation on the market for spice. It is decided to further investments in that market with the goal of getting a monopoly. Nice!
11. African situation is evaluated.
12. Discussion about the geo-political situation in Europe. Boring.
13. I show everybody my new magic trick.
14. Everybody cheers. Good.
15. Meeting is ended.

By the protocol

/Carno
 
graensocoatofarms6yy.jpg

1492-1508
It is said that the ancestor of Joohoo Bushman were from the northern part of Europe. Some people call it the Gods-forsaken-cold-place-where-no-one-wants-to-live so they moved to Hispania. Home of many different people. Now the Spanish people is the mightiest people but the memory of the Muslems are still remembered. Not many years ago we throw out the last ones with force. They had two options. Go home or die. Many thousands took arms and made hostile but puny threats to rebel against the might of the Graenso stronghold.

They were all killed by Trocadero Bushman, Gran Capitan and Prospero Colonna. The two last ones accidently followed the ships to the new world, where dangerous people lived. Yes, the were shipped over the great sea to help the settlers to colonize a whole new rich world. The adventure did though start very funny but oh so stupid. Instead of sighting the land we now call Florida. We sighted Connecticut in the cold north. Damn, lol, wtf was the words from the navigator who wanted to be anominous(sp.).

The discovery and conquest of a new world went pretty smooth, almost, Cristobal could had discover a little faster than he did. I did discover many sea routes but he missen many islands on the way. But one funny thing happened, he was outside the coast of Florida and without discovering the sea around Bahamas, suddenly I could see the island but the sea around was still terra incognita. :rofl:

We did kill three nations in the new world. All for the good of Christianity. The Creeks changed belief very easy but the Aztecs revolted and killed the priests so I have a problem there. :mad: The Incans were hard to kill so they have not even heard the name Jesus yet. Poor souls. :(

In Europe I sold Rousillon to France for a good price. But when Austria was attacked I had to help him. But after a while, Joohoo and Lupin agreed that France will only demand Artois and Franche-Comte and Spain would get money. Which I needed to invest in settlers. Spain peaced out and in Austrian eyes betrayed him. Joohoo is sorry for this but the two lost provinces were French culture and I felt reasonable and we didn't want to start a world war(they don't know that there is another world yet) :Rofl:
 
The Story of Muscovy: The Crushing of the Horde

Inspector Bob paced the throne room as he awaited the stream of advisors soon to enter and bombard him with requests, information and pleas for land.
He remembered the words of wisdom his father had given him "You are the Czar, lad and can do whatever you want-as long as the nobles support you" and he resolved to weather their presence for as long as necessary.

The first decision of the year 1492 was to determine what the Minister of the Interior should spend the next 10 years attempting to warp society to.

"Czar your ancestors have always thought that serfdom was a good goal for society, but if not the state also has been decentralising the authority for a goodly number of years"
"Yes I am aware of that, but serfdom is a rather messy institution that generally causes more trouble than it is worth, definitly not the best way of managing the economy, but it is too late to reverse what has been done. With regards to centralisation I would rather attempt to eat a mace covered in Polish manure before decentralising the state further, but I think we can safely focus on becoming even more land orientated although we have recently expanded the fleet to 2 transports I do not think that is a trend we will continue. The army is where the future of Russia lies"

Inspector Bob also immedietly vassalised the envoy from Pskov by taking him on a tour of the 50,000 drunken Muscovite soldiers camped around the city of moscow armed with maps to Pskov.

After this diplomatic coup the army was split into 2 and sent to destroy the Teutonic Order and take their provinces, under the command of Kholmski and later the Brigadier General Pieman, although Kholmski's army met with an unfortunate defeat early in the war, the huge numbers of Muscovite soldiers made victory all but inevitably especially when the Dukes of Lithunia and Poland attacked the beleguared Order. Eventually the Baltic provinces of Polotsk, Livland and Estland were turned over to Muscovy and Kurland itself annexed by Lithunia. The armies of the Inspector were already marching into the decadent golden horde...

The war dragged on for years and the peasants became slighty miffed with having themselves and relatives knocked out and sent to the army, however the by now huge force that the Inspector commanded was enough to kill the last vestiges of reisitance from the Khan and crush the rebels. This new policy was underlined with the introduction of the Subdenik laws, the Aristocracy persuaded the Czar to pass it by generously giving to his favourite art gallery, the czar was slightly annoyed
"What the hell did you bribe me with a fine arts academy for? They are useless and I despise modern art, Muscovy needs factories churning out arms and vodka not that pansy excuse for art that looks like someone has used it to shelter themselves during the battle for kazan (a particularly brutal battle fought in November in howling winds, metres of mud and with the entire officier corps put out of action by drinking some disagreeable oysters).
Well at least our stability went up"

During the war the Czar took the oppurtunity that would ensure Russian domintion of the world in the years to come by sending a 10,000 men cavarly division out under the command of the conquistador Lyapun and he slipped past the disentergraitng armies of the enemy to the wide plain beyond, reports sent back tell of a new horde called Sibir that roamed the wilderness to the north and vague rumors were heard of the Persian empire far to the south through the great desert. Yet Lyapun carried on to the east and the dispatches grew less and less until they cut themselves off completly... Or so the official line is, but men were seen riding on horseback to the kremlin in the dead of night and serfs were packed on baggage trains and were sent trundling off to the wilderness.

Elsewhere the Metropolitan of Moscow had a series of dispatches from the Church.
"Sir we have great news from the northern reaches of our realm, the conversion in Savolaks, Estland and Livland have been total successes and there are no evil catholic heathens in my realm"
"Your realm Bishop?"
"Of the soul of course I meant your subjects have no heathens in the realm of the soul, which I am responsible for"
"I do hope so, and the other news?"
"The muslim turk has taken Rome sir,"
"He is muslim? I thought the Turk followed another religion now, one to do with dancing round some sort of bush then throwing faeces at each other?"
"Yes the leaders do follow that faith sir, but they also tolerate the Muslim faith that most of their people seem to hold to, apparently efforts to convert the common folk to their leaders religion have been total failures and now they can barely even convert people to Islam, so they attempt to tolerate most religions "
"Well we are not going to make that mistake are we metropolitan? In fact schedule another conversion for Orenburg, and with Rome under the Turks control lets try to work the fact that Christians should all join with us, as obviously the Pope was corrupted so that is why God let him fall to the infidel, that sort of propoganda, you're a churchman you are better at that sort of thing than I"
"Yes Sir I will get right on it" (The Conversion succeded)

All was well with the Kingdom until that fateful day when the Duke of Poland attacked the brave Inspectors realm, the Poles thought that their huge technological, tactical and strategic advantages plus the element of surpise would make short work of the Muscovite armies and they cunningly used their vassal of lithunia to sheild their forces in the unlikely event they would suffer a defeat. However the brave Czar and his generals decided on a process of attiriton where the Poles would be attacked at every opportunity to whittle down their numbers at the cost of huge amounts of dead russian serfs while the country attempted to equalise the technology gap. The Plan was an astounding success, tens of thousands of Russians fell for every 100 of the firearm bearing Poles and yet the Russians got the better deal, although land was lost the armies remained reasonably intact and routs were kept to an absolute minimum. Within 3 years the Polish army was even being beaten every now and again and the 120,000 poles sent into Russia during the war had been bled down to a mere 20,000 who were decisively beaten and sent back into lithunia, however the men could not pursue them there and poland kept up the stability-lowering offers to hurt the countries infrastructure, but by then technological parity had been established and the Polish king accepted the generous white peace offered by the Czar who needed the war to end so he could finish off the golden horde...

Long live the Czar
 
General Ivan Piemanovich 4-4-4


Born, raised and taught court manners on the battlefield, young Ivan was the son of the famous Russian general who managed to beat back the poles from the happy and fuzzy motherland. Ivan was a very friendly and affectionate fellow with a superb grasp of tactics and leadership, he commanded the cavarly wing of his fathers army during the Polish war due to his fathers inabilty to sit on a horse without breaking it.
He was famed for his small poodle he rode into battle with, descibed as pure white and extremely vicious the nickname given to him by Ivan and the troops was "General Winter" and he was often found in the heat of battle, knawing at things that the enemy would rather not have gnawed on.

An officier and a gentleman he was comradely with his men and affable with his superiors and consistently found favour with Inspector Bob via feats of bravery and cunning on the battlefield as well as entertaining the Czar young son by playing "peek-a-boo" during the boring winter nights in the Kremlin. He was in all ways a fine example of Russian manhood and he could hold his vodka like a big vodka barrel. Visiting envoys were often entertained by him before talking to the Czar to give a good impression, they were usually led out by the head of the Okrana to give a "good-cop, bad-cop" situation.
A most distinguished and pleasant individual, and the only russian whose statues were not pulled down or doodled on during the 5th Reign of Terror (2002-2032).
 
Joohoo said:
It is said that the ancestor of Joohoo Bushman were from the northern part of Europe. Some people call it the Gods-forsaken-cold-place-where-no-one-wants-to-live so they moved to Hispania.


The King of Sweden wishes that the king of Spain would not make such insensible remarks about Scandinavia.
 
The Czar does think that Scandanvia is a very nice place and would much like to be able to build his home there, it has such nice fertile lands and lovely forests. Not as good as Poland but maybe when poland is Russian....

*eyes scandanvia greedily*
 
Sweden and Muscowy are friends, and the Vasa dynasty also eyes the vastness of the Russian steppes greedily, but good neighbours coexist in peace.

Poland is warned not to advance north.
 
Ozzeh said:
*sees an alliance between Poland and Sweden brewing*


you are just being paranoid, besides they will fight against each other for Danzig, wearing themselves down for the onslaught of Russia


Fnuco said:
Sweden and Muscowy are friends, and the Vasa dynasty also eyes the vastness of the Russian steppes greedily, but good neighbours coexist in peace.

Please disregard my above statement :D Sweden and Russia are the best of friends remember, you get West/North Europe and I get the World ;)
And I am sure that Poland has learnt his lesson, that even with a CRT advantage, better leaders, the abilty to hide in Lithunia and the element of surprise he still couldn't beat Russia ;)
 
Dr Bob said:
And I am sure that Poland has learnt his lesson, that even with a CRT advantage, better leaders, the abilty to hide in Lithunia and the element of surprise he still couldn't beat Russia ;)

Or perhaps that is just because my friend the Czar is such a competent ruler :rolleyes: