To answer your original question:
Only 1 of the files with the same name will be used. The game will pick which file to use based on the lexical order of the mod folder names, possibly modified by replace_path or dependencies options in the mod files.
Thank you, that seemed to do the trick. Changing path to start with zz made my mod load after CK+. One more thing I observed is that custom define files in common/defines seem to still get loaded in lexical order of the define files themselves, regardless of the name of the mod archive/folder.
How do I mod it to allow granting of titles to females with no land?
common/scripted_triggers/00_scripted_trigers.txt
gender_equality_trigger
I'm not entirely sure that's what controls whether a woman can be landed since I haven't tested it, but judging by the code it might be what you're looking for. Changing it might also have other unintended consequences.