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I think that with the enormous amount of event those mods have they are very prone to lag - although you would have to try as I base this on the TRP mod and my own experience with the mod in lan. Its best if the amount of changes - from events to gifs are as small as possible.... (thats what we try to do in the MEM mod and dont have any worse lag than in vanilla DD)..... unless of course you have a bunch of people with very good computers and not prone to lag (good upload and dl). Here is a discussion about the TRP mod:

http://www.totalrealismproject.com/viewtopic.php?t=1469&sid=866cecea0ac125118793a62af55f1e15
 
If you are going to play MP with whatever mod, you need to copy the contents of the mod folder to you base DD folder. It would be smart to backup your original installation, as this copy trick will overwrite files from original DD.