Nakonid Dynasty: The Princes of the Obotrite Confederacy

[Queen Lor]

Home is where the Hell is
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War is hell they say but what happens on the home front can be even worse. While Henrik was off fighting his war, Ingegerd was stewing at home. Trust me guys, when a woman has a chance to sit down and really think about things, she is going to remember every little thing you did to tee her off.

Well, that is what Ingegerd did and she wrote a lovely I hate you letter to Henrik and he responded back with his own I hate you too letter.

After Ingegerd got Henrik’s response, she decided to do the one thing she knew would get his attention and she took a lover in court.

This sent Henrik into a rage and he immediately exiled Diocese Bishop Juliusz from his court. He was heard to mutter as he threw the bishop from the town gates “man of the cloth?!?!?! My ass!!!”.

Henrik having his juices going, immediately took his wife to bed where his little soldiers would do their job and get her pregnant again.

The burghers thinking Henrik would be in too much of a good mood from his wins in both love and war decided to ask for city laws to be expanded but Henrik flat out said no.

With the war now over and Ingegerd having given birth to a baby girl Dorota, things were starting to settle down again.

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Henrik wishing to strengthen the ties between himself and his vassal, proposed a marriage of his brother Barnim and Miroslava of Brandenburg.

Now that Barnim was married, he thought he should get some money from his brother claiming expenses. Henrik decided he wouldn’t give him any money but he would need to earn it himself.

With that, Henrik sent Barnim to manage Werle.

By this point in Henrik’s life, he was becoming somewhat of a rock star and with rock stardom, comes groupies. One such groupie fancied she was going to get with the lead singer, Henrik. Even though Henrik was impressed with her display of her flexibility, Henrik was all about the piety at this stage in his life and refused her advances.

It’s probably a good thing Henrik didn’t do anything with the wench since his wife was once again having another daughter by the name of Agnieszka.

 

[Queen Lor]

Peace was ruling over the land of Mecklenburg. Henrik was building relations with his best buds on frequent hunting trips away from the wives. Henrik and the boys would weave tales of hunting great boars while in truth, the only hunting that was going on was for the bottom of the beer keg.

The peasants were even starting to give up revolting. Of course, it’s hard to keep up the revolt when you’re hungry and royals sure aren’t going to plow the fields themselves. As a token of Henrik’s gratitude, he released some food stores to the peasants so they could plow better.

Mama Grizzly Sigrid was not doing so well these days. Her age was starting to show but a miracle worker came by with some magic elixir and she felt like a spring chicken again.

Henrik on the other hand was feeling as health as a horse and knocked up his wife again.

In no time, he was introducing the land to the newest Barnim. Henrik swore he would never get into another drinking game with his brother and lose or at least, know what the consequences would be for losing.

Continuing the long heritage of foreign exchange of Nakonids, Henrik would send his heir, Bogislaw to Germany to study under Heinrich.

Henrik’s hunting trips were becoming a bit too popular when the local nobles wanted in on the act. Henrik would have none of that so he told them go over the public hunting grounds and leave his party land alone.

By 1088, a new nursery rhythm was all the rage in Rugen called “Ring around the rosie”.

Apparently being my steward kills you
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To avoid dying from typhoid several of Henrik’s court decided now was a pretty good time to just die of old age.

Looks like Dorota may be smart so let’s ship her off to hang with the Pope. Maybe we can get a brownie point or two.

While nobody was looking, Ingegerd got pregnant and in her last month of pregnancy died along with her baby. Henrik wasn’t too heartbroken because he started his search for a new bride within days of her funeral.

 

[Queen Lor]

*Note: It seems any funny bone I had in my body has left me. I want to keep this story going so anyone reading will probably get some bland straight forward updates for awhile.

In May of 1090, Henrik had found his new bride Elgiva Godwinson.

She was the daughter of the Duke of Wessex.

Leave it to the unruly neighbors next door to interrupt the honeymoon. Henrik was ready to give the beat down to Pomerania.

So off to war he went again. Henrik decided to make a pit stop in Werle to knock out the rebels protesting in his baby brother’s province.

While battling in Werle, Henrik found out his new wife was with child.

With the rebels out of the way, he decided now was the time to march on the enemy.

Greatly outnumbered the pagans in Pomerania lost the battle and Henrik claimed the land as his own.

Doesn’t the new Mecklenburg look nice?

Oh he forgot about Pomerania’s ally Memel. Well, he decided to take them out too. Boarding rickety row boats he made his way to Memel.

Luckily, Typhoid Mary had move on so now we can inhabit Rugen again.

Well Memel was very easy to knock out.

Unfortunately while Henrik was at battle, Elgiva went into labor where she and the baby died during a breech birth.

 

[Lord Blekinge]

A nice and fun read. I look forward to more.

 

[Queen Lor]

A nice and fun read. I look forward to more.

Thanks! I definitely will be posting more updates as I want to see how far I can take my little dynasty.

 

[Queen Lor]

With the newly liberated province of Memel taken care of, Henrik set about finding a new wife.

She looks a bit angry​

Henrik decided to give blondes a second chance since a brunette didn’t work out so great the last time.

Trying to empty the house so he could have some alone time with his new bride, he shipped some more kids out for a one way cultural exchange.

Since the Pope is offering and who in their right mind would say no to the Pope.

Riff raff hung out on those docks anyway. We will built bigger and better docks

What?!?!?! We just met. Why would she leave so soon??? I must get her back!!!

One thing is going right here. Grow hamlets grow!

Ah Crap a revolt!

Double Damn! He did crush the revolt though.

When did the peasants get super powers? Must find out their weakness.

Check out Henrik wooing his lady back! I predict little ones in their future

This can’t be good. Oh well, I don’t believe in their mumbo jumbo anyway.

Zofia - Daddy’s newest little girl.

Just a little character update

Bernswind Billung​

On Christmas Eve of 1096, Henrik held a wedding for his eldest son, Bogislaw. There would be much partying that evening

 

[iain_a_wilson]

Peasant power AND a one armed guy beating back an army - quality update

 

[Lord Blekinge]

What are your long term plans for your dynasty? will you try and create a kingdom or take a king title from someone?

 

[Queen Lor]

Peasant power AND a one armed guy beating back an army - quality update

Thanks!

What are your long term plans for your dynasty? will you try and create a kingdom or take a king title from someone?

I've played to the end of Henrik's reign and I have two possibilities: One is to restore a lost kingdom and the other is to create a title. I don't have enough regions to do either yet. Ultimately, I want to spread my realm and eliminate the pagan tribes.

 

[Alfredian]

Peasant power AND a one armed guy beating back an army - quality update

You only need one arm if you have super peasant powers. Using two arms would be too easy.

 

[Queen Lor]

This is Bogislaw. I forgot to show you his portrait. He is sporting his 70’s style mustache.

One day he is going to have some very big shoes to fill but right now he has other things on his mind since he is a newlywed.

Apparently, all the politicians have left the region.

Oh well! Long live the Church!

Hey those monks really did know what they were talking about when they said,” Speak softly but carry a big stick with a cross on the end.”

What holy ground? All I see is some nice boulders to build my church

There's nothin' wrong with me lovin' you and givin' yourself to me can never be wrong, if the love is true.

Might as well see what it’s like to have an ally. What is the worst that could happen?

I think it may be time to ship him off to a province.

It’s a boy! Never hurts to have a few spares around.

When a man loves a woman, He can do no wrong, He can never own some other girl

Oh Oh Mama Sigrid is stressin’. Must be from the love fest going on in the castle.

 

[Queen Lor]

In the spring of 1099, Henrik’s advisors had been successful in a propaganda campaign.

Some slogans included:
Better dead than pagan
Who wants to be a dead pagan?
Better living with Christianity

It looks like sending her to Rome was a good idea.

Okay, maybe not since she is now running around with my bishop. What did they teach her in Rome anyway? I must marry her off.

Let’s just send her next door to marry the marshal and next in line in Brandenburg. Plus he is paying for the honor to marry my oldest.

While I am at it, let’s ship Zofia to Bohemia since we are like bff’s.

Oh cool! More monks with big sticks.

Looks like I have another daughter to marry off. Let’s keep her in court

Ya’ know those pagans keep tell me this stuff but I have yet to see anything happen.

Okay, maybe that was what they meant.

It’s time to send Bogislaw to rule a province so let’s pick Rugen. He can have his own banana republic and stay out of trouble.

Oh great! Freakin’ evil omens

Okay, I’ll bite. Let’s steam roll some pagans.

Oh crap!!!!!

 

[Queen Lor]

In our last update pretty much if you are a pagan you declared on Mecklenburg. So, Henrik immediately sent his troops in Memel to attack in Livs.

When word got out that troops were sailing on the province, Pomerania declared war.

Henrik pretty much rolled his eyes and sent troops to overrun the country

Ah crud, they aren’t going to roll over and die from the sight of our troops.

Thank God, we had reinforcements on the way and we wiped out the Pomeranian army.

Farther in the east, Henrik’s troops would liberate Livs and accept peace with Karelia.

To punish the pagans in Livs, Henrik forced them to bow down to him and Chief Mendune became his vassal.

Henrik would then send his marshal to Revel to begin the liberation process.

Back at home, Juliana would become pregnant again. War really gets the juices flowing.

Henrik would accept white peace with Bjarmia and in a strange twist of fate the Pope would grant him the title of Papal Controller. In the back of Henrik’s mind he plotted what to do with this new found power. Maybe he would excommunicate all the countries around him. <insert evil laugh>. Okay, maybe that is a bad idea. Let’s just sit on this awhile.

Revel was liberated and Henrik sent the chiefs packing.

With Revel taken out, Henrik would then set his sights on Eastern Sames where a rebellion had already started in Dorpat.

In Lubeck, the merchants would ask Henrik to kick the peasants out of the marketplace. Down with the peasant power!!!

Narva would fall to Henrik’s troops but Henrik’s marshal would loot the province. Henrik really didn’t care by this point all he knew was he was land rich.

Unfortunately land rich doesn’t keep the tax collectors at bay so repo men jacked his forestry in the middle of the night. Henrik never liked that forestry anyway.

 

[Queen Lor]

With his new victories in the north, Henrik would have a new celebration to attend the birth of his son, Rostislav.

Look out it’s the “Knights in White Satin”. (Sorry Moody Blues)

So Titti (who names these people anyway) finally rolled over to Henrik’s way of thinking and high tailed it out of town.

To strengthen relations with his newest conquest he married his son Barnim to Marja of Livs.

Remember Mama Grizzly? Well these days she isn’t doing too hot. Apparently, when she heard that her beloved Denmark had fallen in a war with Sweden and Norway, she kinda, sorta went a bit off the deep end.

So much so, they say she stabbed her son in the back severely wounding him because he would not take the land back.

It is unclear what happened but within months of the attack, Sigrid would become ill and die.

Officially they say of old age but some still think she was quietly poisoned one evening to put her out of her misery.

Henrik was slowly recovering and who should come calling but the Pope. It seems like the Pope only comes around to cause trouble. Henrik took the Convert or Die option given to him for his son’s new wife thinking she would easily convert but no, she was too set in her pagan ways and was severely wounded in her almost conversion.

The Pope believing the only good pagan was a dead pagan bestowed some more piety points to Henrik’s name.

Remember those Knights in White Satin? Well, Henrik should have seen it coming because they seized Reval for themselves to set up this crazy thing called the Teutonic Order.

After spending a year in bed, Marja would finally die from her injuries. Once again, rumors abounded that a drop of poison landed in her soup dish but this time some say it was her husband Barnim who may have done this to get a proper Christian wife.

Look I see white smoke and check this out Henrik is still Papal Controller. I forgot he had that title. Must plot!

Henrik would find Barnim a new wife and would marry him to Kunegarda. Never hurts to marry into the growing green blob next door.

 

[Mr. Capiatlist]

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