Our Little Corner Of The World (a Faroe Islands AAR)

[Snap Wilson]

Introduction
Hi there! I got back into playing CK2 with Holy Fury, so I thought an AAR would be fun to write to keep track of my first extended adventure. I only know about the Faroe Islands what I've read on Wikipedia, and I'm sure this is going to be inaccurate in ways history buffs will find maddening, so I apologize in advance. I'm also, despite thousands of hours of playtime, still mostly terrible at CK2, and enjoy playing it more for the imaginary stories that it generates than any world-conquering designs. So these tiny little islands populated by a tribe who are supposed to raid to earn money yet have no fleet to do so appeals to me.

Please enjoy the story of the House Caliu, Pictish lords of a disconnected pile of rocks in the North Atlantic, presented here for your entertainment until the Vikings likely come and wipe them all out.

 

[Snap Wilson]

Chapter 1: Who Would Ever Want To Leave?

Enuidaig stood on the docks, huddling in a heavy woolen cloak sheared from the sheep that populated the island, slightly grimacing at the chill wind whipping off the ocean, ruffling his hair and clothing. The ship bearing the new arrivals should have been visible by now, according to Ardle's timetables, and why wasn't the silver-tongued devil here himself to greet them? This whole thing had been his idea in the first place.

Ardle was the Chancellor for their liege lord and, by the end of the week, the only member of the Council likely to retain his current position. The situation vexed Enuidaig enough. After all, he had only been Steward for a half a year, but there had been as many costly mistakes in those six months as relative successes, and he wasn't too proud to realize he wasn't very good at it. One of the foreign newcomers would take his place, and he would go back to being a simple Commander. And if that was his lot in life, so be it. The others would grumble, but not him. He still lived in, to his eyes, the most beautiful place in the world, and fie on anyone who couldn't see it.

Enuidaig and Ardle both served at the pleasure of Allcallorred, Lord of Clan Caliu and Chieftain of these islands that had been called by many names but were now named for his own tribe. There were others here when Allcallorred sailed here nine years ago with his tribe, desperate and starving. Blonde-haired Norse pagans, or red-headed Irishmen from Innes Gall, or some other wayward Pict tribe maybe, it had hardly mattered. When Allcallorred had finished with them, they were all left to God. It was his greatest conquest, and his last.

It took nine years for his tribe to find purchase for survival in the hard land. The warships rotted on the shoreline; in these waters, there was nowhere else to sail anyway. The days of conquest were over, and they would simply grow old among the sheep and rabbits and the puffins.

Or so it seemed.

It was Ardle's fault, Enuidaig thought. Always talking with the explorers and merchants who came to trade for salted fish, listening to outlandish tales from the mainland, filling the Chietain's head with dreams of a future that he would never live to see. The two sat by the Allcallorred's hearth, drawing up plans. Ardle soon departed with one of the merchants bound for God knows where rolls of vellum and a sack of coin. And now these foreigners were coming here, to Caliu, to upend the small little world they had carved out for themselves.

Enuidaig breathed in the cold air, feeling the burning sensation in his lungs. Somehow, he knew, that things would not be the same.

 

[alscon]

Perhaps these newcomers can bring some fresh wind for the sails. And once the ships are ready, clan Caliu may seek relevance somewhere.

 

[Snap Wilson]

Chapter 2: Fáelán

"It's a bit much to take in, so let's start from the beginning. I'm servin' at the behest of me kin, the right venerable Toim Dal Birn, Chief of Leix and Osraige, blood from so many generations back I can't keep fookin' track. I'm on the wrong side of the family tree, though, so countin' coins for the old man's about as high a station as I can hope to muster. But my low lot in life aren't an excuse not to do the job right, which I do, and no mistake."

"Anyways, hard day's work over, I'm nursin' a cup and up walks this ponce."

"An' he says he's the Chancellor of Callyoo, sez he works for the Great Chief Alcohol or somesuch, says he heard I'm a man worth employin'. I'm not too full of myself to tell him he's right (he's right, tho) but whether I'm Stewardin' here on the Green Isle or some rock up North doesn't seem to make much difference other than that I'm liable to freeze my acorns off up there. Only he keeps talkin' and keeps talkin' and maybe it's the mead, but what he's sayin' is startin' to sound good. And next thing I know..."

"Fook if I know what I was thinkin', but not much longer, I find myself on a ship bound for Caliu. One look at me travelin' companions told me I was in for somethin' I wouldn't be forgettin' any time quick. There were two other men and four lassies, all of us cramped aboard a merchant ship stinkin' of herring and whale guts, sailing through bone-chillin' winds, gettin' tossed about this way an' that, hopin' to arrive at our new hearth and home in a footkin' workable state. We made small talk an passed the time between trips to hurl our guts into the angry sea."

"This bloke Caenog was a talkative sort, and it's a shame I couldn't understand half o' what he was sayin'. I picked up that he was headed to Caliu to take charge o' the Chief's armies, and he seems suitable enough for the job. Said he had the Blood of Vortigern flowin' through his veins. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had no idea what that meant. Whatever it is, it didn't keep him from thinkin' the ship was going to go down every time the boat groaned."

"This fellow Artgarius was headed to be our new liege's Spymaster, and although I'm hardly an expert in the arts of subterfuge, he seems a natural fit. Thin as a reed an' quiet as a mouse. Ardle told me later that he's the nephew of some powerful lord on the continent, which seems worth tellin', but he din't say one word of it. Anyways, there's somethin' about the man that raises my hackles. Nothin' I can point to, but it's there all the same. I think it's the eyes."

"I was surprised to see a kinswoman among our wretched band. As a personal philosophy, I temper relations with the fairer sex; women have been naught but trouble to me, an I've no desire to sire some whelp, an' even less a bastard. Still, there's no doubt that Róis is quite the beauty. Couldn't imagine why she was joinin' us in Caliu, until she told us plain that she had been sold as a concubine to the Chieftain. Didn't know what to say to that."

"Illegardis shared the same fate as Róis, although she didn't know it at the time. She was journeyin' to Caliu with the understanding she was to be some sort of tutor, so imagine her surprise, eh? I think our liege might regret this little fib, though. This girl's sharp as a blade, an' I think he'd be daft to underestimate her."

"So, uh... Helene. My aforementioned temperance with women was sorely tested and would probably be found wanting were it to come to it. Not as fair as Róis, if I'm being honest, but she has a way with... eh... everything. Like Illegardis, I think she was invited to Calliu under false pretenses, but something tells me she doesn't really mind."

"Alpaide is a formidable lass. Not headed for the Chieftain's bedchambers like t'other ones, but for a proper weddin' to his son. He better hope he can handle her, I'm thinkin'. She's a bit on the husky side, and is always talkin' about God this and God that, but I wager she could do Caenog's job as well or better."

"So that's the lot I found myself with. Now let me tell you what we found when we got there."

 

[stnylan]

Hard to get more remote.

 

[Eurasia]

So this AAR will most be a soap opera? Cool! That's how I play much of the time.

 

[Snap Wilson]

So this AAR will most be a soap opera? Cool! That's how I play much of the time.

Pretty much! We're not going anywhere for a while, so I have to have some story to tell.

 

[WJS]

I'm interested to see how this plays out.

 

[Snap Wilson]

I'm interested to see how this plays out.

I'm anticipating some Viking group declaring Holy War, curbstomping us and winding up with the shortest, saddest AAR on record.

 

[WJS]

I'm anticipating some Viking group declaring Holy War, curbstomping us and winding up with the shortest, saddest AAR on record.

Heh.

If you're Pictish, though, you're starting in 769. You're a count, so no tech point accumulation. So you send your Spymaster seeking tech, and save all your military points for Shipbuilding 1. In the meantime, try to inherit either Orkney or Shetland (or any other land really) via marriage, or just fabricate a claim (preferably on Orkney). Once you're able to build your shipyard, then you'll be able to send troops off island for raiding and claim wars. If you want more time off on your lonesome, Iceland is possible. It's possible to be left alone by Vikings, actually; first, as your tribal islands are going to remain poor and won't make particularly attractive targets. It's very possible to develop shipbuilding before the Vikings get it for free, and Faroes + Orkney/Shetland means you can become a Duke, and that starts tech point accumulation.

But yes. This is hardmode and a Viking stomping is a clear and present danger. Maybe you can convert to Germanic.

 

[Snap Wilson]

Chapter 3: Early Machinations

"Where was I? Ah right, so we finally arrive, shadows of our former selves, to our new home. Which made me yearn for my old home."

"Where we got our introduction to Allcallorred's brood. First, the Chieftain himself. A tough old goat whose seen more battles than years on Earth, I'd wager."

"The Chieftess, of whom we don't see much. Her and the Chieftain don't seem to have the warmest of relations."

"Their daughter and eldest child, Caitrion. She wasn't around for very long."

"Their eldest son and the heir, Caltram, who seems decent enough. He was married to the pious Alpaïde practically soon as she was off the boat."

"And two more boys, Ruatirch and Briog. Nothin' special, either one, if I'm honest, although Ruatirch at least put's in a day's work. T'other one has read more than one book, but none of 'em told him how to be of any damned use."

"We were barely settled before we discovered the first of Ardle's plotting, when Alcallored's daughter was shipped off to Iberia to marry the King of Asturias, who apparently desired an 'exotic' companion in his golden years. Not sure she was what he had in mind, but off she went."

"Somehow Ardle also received a sizable loan from some Jewish folk, purportedly an investment in timber on Caliu. There are no trees on Caliu. I'm startin' to think the man could talk ice out of melting. With our new coin, Allcallorred set me to work, buildin' stuff on Caliu. He didn't have to tell me twice."

"Meanwhile, the new Spymaster Artgarius was sent home the land of the Karlings to figure out how to get us enough lumber to start buildin' a fleet. Not sure how he went about that, but wasn't long before another ship showed up with a woman purportin' to be his wife. She also claimed to be a Princess. Hah! What would a Princess be doing out here?"

"Oh yes, and she was pregnant."

"And then Allcallorred's middle son Ruatirch was betrothed to a promising young Frankish lass."

"Allcallorred took a particular liking to his new concubine Helene, as I guessed he might, and shortly she was with child. The Chieftess expressed no irritation and seemed almost relieved to be freed from his attention."

"And Marshal Caenog set to work on building up a standing army."

"All in all, not a bad first couple o' years, on Caliu. There was goins on in the mainland whose waves would reach us soon enough, but we didn't know it at the time. So what do ye think of all that?"

Faelán's companion blinked and cocked his head to one side.

Faelán sighed and tossed him another herring.

"Aye, well, thanks for listening."

 

[stnylan]

Puffins make very good listeners I am sure - very attentive, especially if one has a herring.

 

[Snap Wilson]

Puffins make very good listeners I am sure - very attentive, especially if one has a herring.

This discovery that the Faroe Islands had puffins made me immediately want to visit!