"So why are we still here?" - Iceland and the Dark Continent

[unmerged(283286)]

So here's how it's gonna be:

I'm playing MiscMod's Dark Continent Scenario, as Iceland. That means a very, very empty europe for a while.
I've modded MiscMods slightly to give me an explorer when the time comes to choose my religion, and also to make that choice show up earlier. Why?
I've (arbitrarily) decided that "The Elders of Iceland see little hope in the east, and so are looking for escape routes to the west".

The plan? Yes, there's a plan.
At our earliest convenience we will convert back to Asatru (the indigenous norse religion). The west is an escape route - we're not neglecting europe entirely!

Which is why the first order of business is to take Scotland and Norway, "convince" them to forget christianity, and then release them to colonize as they please (since together we'll be getting colonists faster than we'd get them alone).

This will be a very random AAR full of arbitrary decisions which may lead to something, or nothing.
SHALL WE BEGIN!? :rofl:

Firstly I decentralize. "Le GASP! Why!?" Because I've got 2 stinky provinces with 1 base tax each.

Yes, I kept reloading until I got specifically this result. Like I said, arbitrary.:laugh:

This prevents me from going anywhere for a while. Actually I can still go see Scotland! Too bad the scottish are busy fighting each other to notice me.

Hey, look! A bunch of totally awesome advisors! And an event that forces me to choose between production and the military (Trade? What trade?)

And I got this event twice. Choose between a stability increase and a 4star artist! Course I pick the artist - someone will hire him and give me money!

Eventually the scottish remnants realize it is pointless to resist.

For some reason the province cores at lightning speed! Like, a week into being captured! Which is odd because, as you'll see later, stuff I colonize takes forever to core...

Then I took norway, which awarded me with control of the papacy, for some reason! Oh right, I have all their cardinals...

Well, like I said, I plan to release the both of 'em. Oh, oh wait, Norway has cores on me!

Gotta remove those cores before I release them! Also convert. Gotta convert before I release anyone.

By the time I notice the first message, the second appears:

We're gonna have a lot of these. I'm just gonna ignore them from now on.

Then we get a free move towards plutocratic. Or is plutocracy bad? Does anyone know?

Finally, we get the conversion event. For some reason I do not have a screencap of it! Very very odd. Anyway, Scot's Western Isles are among the first to convert, along with my capital. The norwegians (and other icelanders) will have to be converted. Meanwhile, no reason to keep the scots chained up. I release them:

ASATRU SCOTS! Adorable aren't they? :laugh:

So I set off with my new explorer vessel to find greenland and canada. Greenland is there, as expected, but something's wrong with canada...

INUIT!?!! And they're a horde, to boot! Their religion is "Great Spirit". I can't even declare war on them as I'm not their neighbor...
I hear they wear funky glasses...

(Someone should add a big YEEEAAAAH! to the bottom of this picture)

So apparently I get 2 points of prestige for discovering north america. Yay?

Beothuk is not within my range yet. Actually, even the Inuit's aren't. I'll colonize greenland first, and when it cores, we'll start our invasion of the americas.

The norwegians pretend to rebel again...

Noble republic has elections? Who knew. Anyway I kinda like Folke (hehehe, bolt-folk...), diplomacy is utterly useless for me at this time. I mean, who would I negotiate with? Djata Kurufa? Yyyyeaahno.

When I took this picture I tried to show that I colonized london (because, base tax 14), but this event popped up and obscured everything!

To colonize london to full development, I had to take all the loans (all of them) and am now minting full-time. Did I mention I am dirt-poor?

That's all for today. To summarize, here's how the above would've went as a conversation between icelandic elders:
Elder1:"President-Prince Bolt?"
Folke:"DO NOT BOTHER ME I AM FISHING!"
Elder2:"But sir! The plague is ending!"
Folke:"Truly? Any survivors?"
Elder1:"Scottish and norwegian remnants spotted on isles north of england..."
Folke:"ATTACK THEM!"
Elder1:"Sir?!"
Folke:"Do you prefer fishing?"
Elder2:"Sir, they have surrendered."
Folke:"Good. Also I want the church in town replaced with a temple in Odin's honor."
Elder1:"Sir!? We are reducing ourselves to paganism, just because all of Europe is pretty much gone!?"
A scotsman in a skirt runs in.
Scotsman:"HAIL ODIN! I will fight until valkyrie takes me!"
Elder2:"...They sure were eager to convert."
Folke:"Now go fish while I head out with the boys to rediscover greenland and vinland."
Elder1:"...I'm going to see if I can occupy the empty palace in london."

Disclaimer: The above was written in jest.

 

[Dovahkiing]

Quite awesome!

 

[unmerged(283286)]

In this new installment of my most exciting AAR I present to you, the NEW London!

And greenland produces fish. Seriously, does greenland or iceland ever have any major exports other than fish?

*one visit to wikipedia later* So Iceland's exports are 50% fish... And greenland's exports are 90% fish... Guess the answer is "not really" :sad:

And then the guy who gave me two levels of naval tech almost single-handedly dies.

Pity! Did I mention the natives of Greenland have maximum aggression? And I didn't opt to kill them... I am far too nice!

Oh. They've calmed down. The event later fires two more times for the other province in greenland. Yes, twice. Who's the diplomatic genius that did that?
Then I get this:

So, uh, being surrounded by death makes everyone uppity about art? It's probably depressing art. And what the people are feeling is catharses.
Anyway I can now build temples, IF I get the money. And considering it's all being swallowed up by colonies...
Next, I colonize Oxfordshire! And what prize do I find there!?

That's right! A free university in a colony! The colonists hurry to occupy it and scurry around it's abandoned libraries, propelling my government tech (and tax) forward!
Another university is taken when I colonize Essex. I colonize far and wide to the edge of my budget because there's a decision I want to take that requires 3 active colonies.
I also get this:

What is this? Could someone tell me? What does stonehenge have to do with anything?
Anyway...
With my budget stretched so thin that I'm threading a fine line between poorer-than-dirt-poor-poorness and bankruptcy, I can finally take this national decision I wanted!

Also apparently I hate myself.

Finally, all of Iceland is back to being TRULY NORDIC! I can now use bureaucrats to remove norways cores from iceland.

And Orkney cores, which means it's time for their own conversion efforts. As soon as I get the cash, that is.

I move my national focus to Oxfordshire so I can speed up the (rather painful) process of colonization.
I decide that I have enough resources to spare to crush Djata Kurufa in the bud, now, since I can see the expansion events firing for the european survivors.

Very unfortunately for me, they get their expansion event JUST as I am about to wade into their single province.
To anyone who isn't aware, apparently Djata Kurufa is a group of africans who decided to settle in england after the black death. They are vodunist now (some sort of native african religion).
Defeating them involves a lot of whack-a-mole, since they start with one stack (from their days as a OPM) and are always building. Crush one stack, another pops!
Plus I can't split my forces, else I won't defeat their EXISTING stack. They're technologically ahead of me, too!

I get an event that allows me to get like 30+ free ducats, which is a HUUUGE BLESSING in my terrible state of poverty. I mean, now that I have london, I am getting a BIT more, but London doesn't core! I'm only getting 10% of that province value!
And Folke dies in combat. Boo!

So I select the military candidate - I am at war, after all!

...Oh my. I'll just call him "Folke2".
Then I get an event reminding me of my starting slider positions.

Sure, sure, innovation can't hurt anyone! (except missionaries)

SO IT FINALLY HITS THEM! Not that either option is really good. Either way, I get some cash.
It is then that I finally occupy the last Djati province and win the long, long game of whack-a-mole, and discover that I can, apparently, Annex them!
Probably because they're Vodunists or something... Despite them being more technologically advanced than I. :laugh:

I now have four new, fully-developed, non-colonial provinces! Sure they're wrong culture AND wrong religion, but hey, at least they don't suck the money out of me like those colonies! And then I get another money-giving event:

Money, still need more money... I think my inflation passed 30 by now...
And then, one of the moments I've been waiting for:

Finally, I can unleash Norway upon the world once more!

NEXT EPISODE! I will release Norway in Orkney and demonstrate how my lazy, slow-to-get-colonizing vassals spread to the rest of the world!
Oh, I noticed a cute little country off-screen that seems kinda vulnerable. New Goal: Convert and Vassalize Estonia, then get them to start spreading, too!
Also first colony in the americas... Bah...

EDIT: I was thinking of renaming european/american provinces I take to some icelandic name, but I wouldn't know the first thing about doing that right. Okay maybe the first thing *eyes google translate* but really, anyone with suggestions, please list them!

 

[Pellaken]

You could Wikipedia the entry using the name and search for the Icelandic language version

 

[unmerged(283286)]

You could Wikipedia the entry using the name and search for the Icelandic language version

A most excellent idea!
Here are some results:
London -> Lundúnir
Oxfordshire -> Doesn't get special name, all the icelandic page says is "abbreviated as Oxon".
Newfoundland -> Nýfundnaland (and wikipedia says the nord explorers who found america before colombus settled on it's northern tip, just as I am doing now! Maybe I should just call the northern part "Nývínland"?)
Gloucesteshire (or however you spell that) -> No change :sad:
Marches -> No icelandic page. Google translates it as "Gengr".
Norfolk -> No translation, but icelandic page transliterates it as "Norðurfólk" (Northern People).
Derby -> No change
Lincoln -> No change
Wessex - > No icelandic page. Transliterated in english as "West Saxons", which googletranslate says in icelandic would be "Vestursaxa"

Overall, most provinces will not have an icelandic page or translation, so my plea for help here stands o

Still, Lundúnir sounds BADASS

 

[Tanngnjost]

Not really Icelandic, but gengr sounds a lot like it means "marches" as in "he marches".

Wiktionary.org turned up landamæri, so I guess Mæri...?

Great AAR, by the way, keep it up!

 

[unmerged(271387)]

You can try to find the names of those cities in scandinavic languages and add some u and r randomly in the word and you have icelandish language

 

[Legolas]

This is great! Subscribed.

 

[unmerged(283286)]

So lasy episode I announced I'll be releasing Norway, so I did.
Scotland is being a bit shy in colonizing, so I helped them a bit (tagswitch, send one colonist to highlands, tagswitch back).
Norway, on the other hand, simply doesn't have the range.
However! Norwegian soil still has Norwegian cores! So, I will colonize one province for them, and then give it to them - yes, for free!
From there on, they SHOULD be able to colonize adjacent provinces...

Only they keep setting their colonial maint to really low, which kind of ticks me off, as their overlord!
So I force them to focus more on colonizing (tagswitch and change national idea that gives more colonial growth).
That seems to work. Within two decades they start showing signs of willingness to colonize by themselves, so I leave them be.

Above you can see an event that for some reason at the time made me think it's a good idea to lose 2 stab, as well as the state of the area. You can see Norway getting settled in, well, Norway, and Scotland reclaiming the highlands.
So I get elections, and ask for an administrator, and get this:

That is a Diplomat. We need better people to sort those candidates.

A few rulers come and go, and finally, I core greenland:

This is my cue to colonize Newfoundland Nyfundnaland. Mostly because it's the only non-inuit thing in my range...

Oh, a random treat! Religious map of the area at the time:

Orange is ODIN-WORSHIP (that's my religion right?), red is vodunism, dark brown is jewish, purple is buddhist, Magyaristan is Sufi, Al-Alemand is Kharijite, Sameland is Shamanist, and you can see little animist Estonia in, well, Estonia. Yellow? That's uncolonized. (Unless you're a Knight of St John, or a Sardineian)

Anyway, I renamed all the english provinces I control to the best of my ability. My policy was:
1. If there's an old Nordic name for it, use that
2. If 1 does not apply, use modern icelandic name
3. if 1 AND 2 do not apply, look for meaning of original name, translate to icelandic
4. if none of the above apply, use either an old, abbreviated or indigenous name.

See "Jorvik" up there? Rule number 1 exists because of it. Apparently York used to be a viking settlement!
Lundunir's awesome name is blockaded by it's own port, pun intended :wacko:

Some peaceful time of raking in inflation to support my establishment of the "Icelandic Republic of South Britain"...

As you can see, Scotland and Norway are doing fine. Norway has even colonized some of mainland Europe, due to bad colonization distance calculations!

I'm still dirt poor, yet i get this:

But... I have no money... I take a stab hit to avoid bankruptcy :sad:

Time to move slider again. I move toward free subjects, and get ANOTHER stab hit! hmy:

Things are not boding well for us... But then my Master of Mint takes a stand:

Instant fix for my stab, AND better fight against the inflation!? THANK YOU! I'd elevate him to Einherjar status but I'm not qualified.

I realize if I want Estonia, I should get it sooner rather than later, but I can't (monetarily) afford to send an army over there. I mean, i have stacks of Vodunists zealots popping up every monday in Wales, but then I remember - I have two vassals! So I declare war and pray they do something...

And indeed they do! :laugh: Soon after, I annex Estonia, and conversion efforts begin.

Meanwhile, my settlements in the americas expand, leading to -

Oh. Uh. Well. Uh. Eh... They have better tech levels than me, too!
Uhm... I'll pay em off, I guess. My poor cash reserves...

But at least England is a step closer to being religiously unified!

Also, Estonia has, like, the best Cavalry. I think I'ma build some before I release them. Despite this costing hordes of cash (oh well, more loans... it's an investment! INVESTMENT!)

And with that, England is now vodunist-free!

For some reason, Sameland (land of the Sami, not "The Same Land"), despite hating me, decides to offer a royal marriage. I heartily accept. No reason not to.
You can see my vassal's progress expanding in the background if you look hard! It really is hands-free at this point!

Northern Newfoundland cores, for some reason, before the south, despite the south being colonized long before it... Thus enabling me to colonize america proper, and my colonists land in Acadia.

For today, I'll leave you folks with the knowledge that apparently there's a pope out there somewhere, he somehow heard of India, and decided that what remains of all good catholics must travel there to fight Deva Bengal...

In the next exciting installment of this AAR, expect a small but cozy "Icelandic North America", with Poetic Eddas, printed and translated (probably to Scottish Gaelic)! Oh, and comets.

EDIT: You may have noticed I am claiming to be dirt poor, yet some of these screenshots contain records of me with over 100 ducats.
I'd like to direct your attention to the screenshot where I gain 2 stability. You see the loan button is grayed out, and the interest I'm paying is 6.2 ?
Yeah, occasionally, it stops being grayed out. Never for long though.

 

[Memento Mori]

Really fun aar! perhaps you could write these funny short cut conversations with elders and leaders after each update, like you did for the first one? Its a pity Folke died, but at least he died in combat, so he's going to Valhalla!

And I haven't realised that the knights of St. John survive in this mod. If I manage to download a version of this mod for IN, or when I upgrade to CW, I have a nice idea for an aar...

 

[Tallfellow]

I'm following this. I've rarely laughed this much over an AAR. Also like that you are reviving the real nordic faith!

 

[unmerged(283286)]

Really fun aar! perhaps you could write these funny short cut conversations with elders and leaders after each update, like you did for the first one? Its a pity Folke died, but at least he died in combat, so he's going to Valhalla!

And I haven't realised that the knights of St. John survive in this mod. If I manage to download a version of this mod for IN, or when I upgrade to CW, I have a nice idea for an aar...

And here I thought that idea was lame... Will be re-added beginning with the next installment, then!
Yes, the Knights survived in Malta (rather than Rhodes), and their culture is Maltese, rather than a crusader culture, which is the iberian group, meaning they can form Spain.
Another interesting survivor is Crete, which controls Crete, Naxos, and Cyprus, putting it in a (relatively) good position to form Byzantines. Actually, Byzantines have a bad, bad habit of actually showing up by themselves when they rebel off one of the islands.

If you're making an AAR playing the Knights, may I recommend manually switching them back to a crusader culture? This kind of adds a measure of flavor, and if you're going to get colonizing, you won't have to worry about it, except for provinces you steal from Aragon/Catalonia/Granda...

I'm following this. I've rarely laughed this much over an AAR. Also like that you are reviving the real nordic faith!

I didn't realize I'm that funny! Good to hear.:laugh: I generally don't like playing christians or muslims, with some few very special cases (ethiopia, granada), so the ability to play an Odin-worshipper is a real treat! Actually I just generally like punching history in the face.
What I feel this scenario is missing is a breton/irish DRUIDIC enclave, seeing as MiscMods DOES have druidic irish. It's one less cool religion that could and should be in, but isn't...



I noticed the image of the royal marriage offer is missing. Fixed! This is important because as I said you can see the progress of my vassals in the background.

 

[Memento Mori]

And here I thought that idea was lame... Will be re-added beginning with the next installment, then!
Yes, the Knights survived in Malta (rather than Rhodes), and their culture is Maltese, rather than a crusader culture, which is the iberian group, meaning they can form Spain.
Another interesting survivor is Crete, which controls Crete, Naxos, and Cyprus, putting it in a (relatively) good position to form Byzantines. Actually, Byzantines have a bad, bad habit of actually showing up by themselves when they rebel off one of the islands.

If you're making an AAR playing the Knights, may I recommend manually switching them back to a crusader culture? This kind of adds a measure of flavor, and if you're going to get colonizing, you won't have to worry about it, except for provinces you steal from Aragon/Catalonia/Granda...

Oh, don't worry, I have read quite a bit about the Knights of St. John and I won't make them randomly form Spain. I don't know if time and software will permit me to make the aar, so I will say now that if I go for it, I will make a mini-mod where the "langues" will no longer be only administrative divisions... About Malta and Rhodes, I guess I won't have much of a problem incorporating them in the back-story. By the way, do you know if Dark Continent is available for the IN? (sorry to offtop a bit )

 

[unmerged(283286)]

Oh, don't worry, I have read quite a bit about the Knights of St. John and I won't make them randomly form Spain. I don't know if time and software will permit me to make the aar, so I will say now that if I go for it, I will make a mini-mod where the "langues" will no longer be only administrative divisions... About Malta and Rhodes, I guess I won't have much of a problem incorporating them in the back-story. By the way, do you know if Dark Continent is available for the IN? (sorry to offtop a bit )

Unfortunately it is not... Only HttT and DW versions are available.

 

[History_Buff]

I have a question. To you eventually intend to reannex Scotland. It seems to me like it would make a lot of sense to do so after they colonize the rest of Ireland because then you could gain control of all of the British Isles.

 

[unmerged(283286)]

I have a question. To you eventually intend to reannex Scotland. It seems to me like it would make a lot of sense to do so after they colonize the rest of Ireland because then you could gain control of all of the British Isles.

But then I'd be NOT getting Scottish colonists who are not doubt going to spread to europe as well!
My goal here is to get Europe resettled (and Odin-worshipping), NOT to obtain large swathes of land. If I wanted land, I'd go conquer Faransa/Al-Alemand right about now.
In fact, I want to AVOID warring in Europe, which is why I'm not colonizing the mainland. If there is to be warring there - let my vassals handle it! I'll just give them any land they manage to take over (since I'm still technically war leader).

 

[unmerged(283286)]

Today, we begin our update with comets!

COMETS!

To commemorate the comet, we decide to set up a printing press and translate our poetic edda to scottish gaelic and estonian (icelandic and norwegian are mutually intelligible anyway, or so the internet told me)

In the americas, my colonization progresses smoothly, until the Huron show up! They, being a horde to whom I cannot afford to pay tribute, immediately steal my recently colonized province of Kwedech :glare:

I'll get it back yet...

Meanwhile in Europe...

Where I get a Folke Mk3 - seriously, why do most Icelandic leaders have one terrible stat, and two great ones?

He gets me free stuff everywhere. Yay Edvard! Your name isn't as cool as Folke's though.

Ever so slowly, I am wading back to inflation 30. I think I touched 40 briefly. With half of Icelandic South Brittania cored, my income is getting to being something realistic for an empire such as ours.

I decide to use the opportunity to get back at the Huron! So I send in a single stack, only to discover...

Huron is pretty much collapsing from warring with every other native american tribe around, plus noble rebels everywhere!
This - THIS is an opportunity to strike!

Thank you you dirty capitalist - oh wait, the communist attitude hasn't been invented yet. Nevermind.

Some colonies core before stopping being a colony :blink:

Unfortunately I get this:

Now, you must be asking yourself, why in blazes would I enact a settlement policy when I need colonists, and why is it unfortunate that is succeeded?
Simple: Settlement policy gives a whoppin' +10% growth. I wanted at least one city in england with more than 2k people living in it.

Around that time Al-Alemand declares war on me, to get some provinces colonized by Norway. I completely ignore it, confident the Scots, Norwegians, and Estonians can handle them well enough on their own.
With time, it proves to be the right decision...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!
He didn't even die in battle :sad: Oh well! *opens culture tab, throws a magister at a painting to get 100%, gets new master of mint*

I notice Norway get in trouble. When I zoom in to inspect it...

No, you fools! Norway is on our side! OUR SIDE!
Eventually the rebels take over the province and it defects to me. The rebels become a free legion in my army, and I give Norway the province back.
Those rebels must feel pretty stupid now...

And I get an event for mo' moneyz!

While rampaging with a couple of 1k stacks through ravaged huron land, I notice something's wrong with them.
Then it hits me - the native americans ceased being hordes!

Well then, I guess I'll for land-grabs! Muahahahaha...

Extent of my conquests before I noticed them regaining footing and didn't want to risk the tides turning.
I wanted to request Ontario, too, but that made the deal a no-no for them.

My advisors really are awesome. This allows me to reach Gov 10 and get a new idea. I take QFTNW ("Quoted for Truth:Nukes Win").

Immediately after Edvard gets this event:

Twice. Both times I opt to invest in naval tech. Also he does the 4 free armories event again.

I move my national focus to the province bordering the most others in prep of moving my capital West, as planned.

Gotta change the names of all those acquisitions...

SOON...


And as per fan request, I'm going to summarize this update with ElderDialogue:

Elder:"Lo! A comet!"
OtherElder:"IT IS THE VANIR THEY ARE INVADING AUGH!"
OtherOtherElder:"It will hit Jörmungandr! Ragnarok is upon us!"
Edvard: *appears in a cloud of smoke* "NEVER FEAR! I, your mighty president-prince, am here in our nation's darkest hour, to deliver it from evil!"
Elder:"That sounds familiar..."
Edvard:"Lo! The Aesir have signed a pact with me! In return for this lowly bureaucrat, four armories shall magically drop from the sky!"
Elder:"Sir-"
LowlyBureaucrat:"Please no AUGH" *vanishes*
*four armories drop from the sky*
Elder:"...Sir."
Edvard:"Aesir."
Elder:"...Yes sir."
Edvard:"They are telling me to send inexperienced men alone without a commander deep into the western wilds!"
Elder:"Sir, I'm not sure that'd be wise..."
Messenger:"My president-prince! By Odin, our victory against the western barbarians - I mean the ones without awesome glasses - is crushing! They couldn't even resist our advance!"
Edvard:"Demand coastline for leaving them alone."
Messenger:"Yes sir!"
Elder:"...Are you truly human?"
RaggedCitizen:"Praise Odin! No longer will ICELANDIC land be ruled by Norway!"
Edvard:"Son, come here."
RaggedCitizen:"Yes sir?"
Edvard: *slap* "Now go join the rest of the army like a good soldier! And tell the Nor's they have our apology for this nasty disturbance."
RaggedCitizen:"...Yes sir..."
Edvard:"Elder, get me another lowly bureaucrat."
Elder:"...More armories, sir?"
Edvard:"...I'm going to go show the boys how to build a boat. And then I will show them again."

Scotsman:"I'm in Ireland and the Netherlands! There are textile factories here! Whee!"
Norwegian:"So what, I've got Bremen's nuke stash."

 

[Funnyman320]

I'm a sucker for the dark continent mod AARs. Consider me subbed and waiting for more!

 

[Sechrima]

Great AAR so far. I really like this scenario (i.e. a plague-decimated Europe). Will be following eagerly as you bring the wrath of Thor upon the Skraelings.

 

[brovahkiin]

He he elder dialogue