Sod AARf: A Blackadder: Back and Forth AAR

[Caller]

Where we left off...


: Baldrick, I have a very, very, very, cunning plan.

: Is it as cunning as a fox who was professor of cunning at Cambridge University and has since moved on to work at the UN at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning?

: Yes it is.

: Mmm, that's cunning.

Coming to you... Summer 3000.​

Or sooner?

Notes:
CK2 Version 1.05, Custom Rulers DLC. If//when CK2 Plus next version comes out I will try and import the game into that, barring that I will secretly replay to that point without anybody noticing. Or not.
The Blackadder and Baldrick we will be using will be those of the later ones. So sorry Lord Percy fans, but chances are you will not see him. Of course, you might also see him. But that will take time and effort, neither of which I have. In fact the very fact you view this AAR suggests that you have too much time and not enough effort.

Second Note: If the title is inappropriate, please feel free to change it to S** AARf. But I've never offended people with that word. If I have in fact offended people with it, I would be using it more often.

TABLE OF CONTENTS​

(will put things here soon!)​

Who Knows?​

 

[RossN]

Ah... very, very interesting. Looking forward to this.

 

[Saithis]

I have zero choice but to subscribe.

 

[Caller]

Apologies my lords and lordesses, but there will be a delay of the first post until likely tomorrow, as there has been a new CK2 update. No more easypeasy for me!

 

[Kaioo]

This looks intriguing. I was looking into doing a custom character AAR myself, just need to get the DLC. I am excited to see where this goes.

 

[Caller]

: Baldrick,: Set course for 1066.

: Yes my lord.

: If everything goes as planned, my wretched family history will be corrected and I will finally have everything I want.

: You know, Mr. B, there's always been something bugging me about family history.

: What, Baldrick?

: How come there's always a Blackadder and a Baldrick?

: The same reason why we invented toilet paper.

: You mean because without me you'd always have to get your hands dirty?

: No, it'd be because if an unwise person used too many Baldricks the toilet would get clogged and I'd have to clean the plumbing.

: So you only need one Baldrick to clean the septic tank.

: Quite. Now the other reason actually has to do with your unique properties.

: You mean my strength and bravery?

: Your stench is certainly bold. It's so bold, in fact, that my doctor says it will prevent aging.

: So that's why despite all your threats to do so I'm still alive.

: No: me killing you means I'd have to make physical contact with you for longer than I'd like.

: How long is that?

: No time at all.

: Very well sir. I should inform you we've almost arrived.

: Excellent. So long, William of Orange, Hello, Edmund of Gold.

<meanwhile>
Earl Bamburgh: As you see, Edmund, this is my manor, now that I've shown you around, do you have any questions?

Edmund, the New Help: I n-need... to go... tinkle tinkle.

Earl Bamburgh: Look, Edmund, just because I call you Bladder doesn't mean that you should be thinking about it all the time. At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if you saw a flying outhouse.

<sickening crunch as the time machine lands on top of Earl Bamburgh>

Edmund, the New Help: E... Earl!

: Oops... wait, you must be the illustrious Earl Edmund of Northumberland, if I'm correct.

Edmund, the New Help: No.. No that's not me...

: Oh, damn, Baldrick, you've sent us to the wrong place. We need to go to the Battle of Hastings, set the time for a few weeks later.

: I can't do that sir, I forgot to write the date in felt-tip pen.

: Speaking of things that have been forgotten, there's something else you forgot to do.

: What?

: Reminding me to kill you.
<Edmund starts strangling Baldrick>

... And so it Begins

 

[Tapscott]

*presses fingertips together*

this AAR pleases me.

 

[Malurous]

The image limit for an AAR update is 20. Please keep this in mind.

 

[RossN]

Very good start. Could you give us a rundown of Earl Edmund's traits?

 

[Caller]

Very good start. Could you give us a rundown of Earl Edmund's traits?

Our Edmund is a Thrifty Clerk, as well as a Hedonistic Lustful Deceitful Craven Proud Greedy Patient Legitimate Bastard. I couldn't help but overload on as many Edmundy traits as possible. I was going to add stutter, but decided against it.

 

[RossN]

Our Edmund is a Thrifty Clerk, as well as a Hedonistic Lustful Deceitful Craven Proud Greedy Patient Legitimate Bastard. I couldn't help but overload on as many Edmundy traits as possible. I was going to add stutter, but decided against it.

Very nice, very Prince Edmund.

I'm deeply intrigued to see what Earl Edmund's daughters end up like (if he has any of course). The idea of a female Blackadder is pretty mindboggling.

 

[TheExecuter]

Subscribified...

 

[SlackBladder]

An inspired idea for an AAR, definitely keeping an eye on this.

 

[Caller]

this has been a terrible week for me. I will update tomorrow though.

 

[Caller]

Episode IV: A New Nope.​

The Cast:​

Lord Edmund BlackAdder, a time traveller

Baldrick, a septic tank inspector

Earl Edmund, the New Help, the Earl of Northumberland

Edmund: Alright, now that we've installed my relative as count, the first thing we need are some heirs. After all, if you don't have kids, I won't be born.
Baldrick: I have all the hairs you could ever want right here.
Edmund: Baldrick I don't want those kind of "hairs," now stop talking before you make me sick
Baldrick: No? Well I also have these hairs in my pants...
Edmund: Yes thank you Baldrick.

Edmund: Alright, a bride selected, this should keep our puppet happy. Did I say puppet? I meant... my forefather.
Baldrick: Those folks over there don't seem very happy.

Edmund: That's our council, Baldrick. If they were happy we wouldn't have given them these jobs.

Ah, it appears our mutual acquaintance Edmund has been busy.
Baldrick: But he's been in bed for the past two years.
Edmund: That's his job, Baldrick, producing heirs while I run the earldom.
Baldrick: Why can't I have that job?
Edmund: Because I believe in intelligently guided evolution.

Well this is interesting. It appears that not getting hacked to pieces by the Scots has caused the King of Norway to win the war for England.
Baldrick: Does that mean that I'm part Viking?
Edmund: As likely that you are part human. No, Baldrick, Scandivanians will eventually become the type of people that sit in their government issued homes, enjoying life, partaking in the North's great beaches, and sitting somewhere to design ways for the proles to learn history.
Baldrick: I think you're breaking the fourth wall, sir.
Edmund: Baldrick, I couldn't even break through to your thick skull.
In other news, it appears that our heir apparent has died.
Baldrick: Oh dear. My hair is apparent too, but it's not dead.
Edmund: Baldrick, you already tried this disgusting joke.

And my great great great great some relative's spouse appears to have died as well. Time to get him remarried.

Edmund: My Earl, may I introduce you to your new wife?
Earl Edmund: W... Why hello, what have we here? A nice young t-trollop?
Edmund: My Earl, while it may be perfectly acceptable in this current time to refer to women as such, I suggest that to avoid tragic accidents you should avoid the use of that word. Now get back to work!

Edmund: Ah, a male heir. Now we are good to go in case our Earl here has a tragic accident.

Edmund: Of course. Just. Bloody. Brilliant.

 

[Mr. Santiago]

Oh, what a cunning idea for an AAR, subscribified.

 

[Sleight of Hand]

:rofl:

This is amazing -- I have his voice in my head as I read the script and it's just perfect. Following!

 

[Saithis]

Great update, I read the whole thing in the voices of Rowan Atkinson and Tony Robinson!

 

[Memento Mori]

Oh, what a cunning idea for an AAR, subscribified.

Yes it is... but is it as cunning as a fox who was professor of cunning at Cambridge University and has since moved on to work at the UN at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning? We shall see, and I use the plural, as I am also subscribed

 

[Sleight of Hand]

Update! Please!