Tales from our Faarthers

[morningSIDEr]

"The cheese factory?"​

I burst out laughing at this line. A kin slayer, someone who let his realm fall apart but he defends his actions because...he built a cheese factory. Wonderful. Despite all his many, many, many faults I rather liked Bugra. With his name it is difficult not to. As for Freya and Astarte's dance routine, I feel afraid. Very, very afraid.

 

[Alfredian]

As for Freya and Astarte's dance routine, I feel afraid. Very, very afraid.

After a party that has gone on for 3 years the dance surely has to be Agadoo

 

[loki100]

Any good theological reasons? A history of incompetance and deceit doesn't count, does it?

ah, so if the Prince of Darkness was competent then it would be ok for the last remaining archangel to trust him, but as he is a few memory synapses short of a lemming you're better off not doing so?

Bugger!

indeed, just as he was getting into his stride

Oo-er! Hot girl on girl action? That's bound to get the collective Rurikovich attention! Then again, knowing who Freya and Astarte are, this would probably be an excellent time for the assembled Ruris to start shuffling inconspicuously towards the nearest exit, followed by a mad dash towards any place that is not Harry's bar...

The fact that Bugra dies of old age, after all the bloodshed in and around his court, seems fitting in a 'doesn't-fit-at-all-how-the-eff-did-this-happen?!?' kind of way. You just never know what'll happen with Rurikovich rulers. At least Bugra didn't get beatified.

Stunning amounts of money you were able to extort from those wayward princes. I guess you had to bribe them so often with Bugra the Kinslayer as ruler, that they never found an effective way to get rid of the glut of cash?

For that sort of thing you'll have to wait for the MnB sequel (though the act does involve Boris I and Ivan ... who of course she's already maimed) ... . But yes Bugra invented a new form of commodity circulation. He bribed all his vassals oodles of cash, they still rebelled so he took the cash back as part of the price of letting him go

I burst out laughing at this line. A kin slayer, someone who let his realm fall apart but he defends his actions because...he built a cheese factory. Wonderful. Despite all his many, many, many faults I rather liked Bugra. With his name it is difficult not to. As for Freya and Astarte's dance routine, I feel afraid. Very, very afraid.

actually the infamous cheese factory was burnt down in one of the wars and rebuilt, but somewhere in all the chaos I forgot to take the screenshots. But there you are, at least 12 known murders and you feel its all ok as you started a cheese making industry in NW Anatolia.

After a party that has gone on for 3 years the dance surely has to be Agadoo

I fear you underestimate the queen of the witches, empress of hell and her pagan sidekick ...

 

[loki100]

Yakut, 1426-1430, in which, as expected he becomes rather different

Scene 1: Various corners of Gabi's Bar

Harry and Bugra wander in

Harry is muttering to himself "mustn't forget ... must not forget ... ah ice .... "Gabi give me an ice cube"

turns to Bugra

"now hold onto this & don't let it melt"

calls over a passing demon and ties knot in its tail

"right now where was I?"

at which he is distracted by screams, looks up to see Boris I writhing in agony, more worryingly Astarte is now beckoning over Ivan and whispering to Freyja.

While waiting for Ivan to hobble over she sends out a couple of demons to spread some goodwill, the words "Harry is bound to forget" are heard



Bugra is watching the screen with a degree of disgust, all that effort and this:



as he is too busy complaining to Boris III, he misses:



but looks up in time to see

"oh yuck"



"well that is what happens"



turns to Boris III, "see Dad, I was never like that ... no Yakut too much and you'll go ..."





Harry is leaving, muttering "must remember, must remember ... madness, marriage... oh there was something else, ... p ... pp ... pppp....? No, I'm sure it started with m..... Oh well can't be important"





Toikka and Tuokki are complaining ... "don't know what its coming to, in our days Rurikovich Kings had proper names"



at least now he's blind Yakut can't have a thing about colour? So without reasons to go to war, will we see 30 years of peaceful competence and quiet economic development? Are Harry and Astarte back working together? What will happen if wee Alp Yurek ever attacks Byzantium?
​

 

[morningSIDEr]

Great stuff, Yakut seems a promising Rurikovich. This line;

turns to Boris III, "see Dad, I was never like that ... no Yakut too much and you'll go ..."​

Coupled with the following screenshot was simply wonderful. That is the lesson though, if you do too much of that, you will end up blind. Considering Yakut's rapidly rising fertility levels he is certainly doing too much of something. Or perhaps too little...

 

[Enewald]

Get a finnish wife!
Blood must be purified´!

 

[Stuyvesant]

I don't know that the Finnish influences on the Rurikovichs have been particularly beneficial - but then again, at this point I think no amount of genetic tinkering is going to salvage the Rurikovich line.

Yakut is an interesting variation, though: hyper-fertile, yet the blindness... I think MorningSIDEr is on to something...

Harry's treatment of Bugra - I can't decide if its uncommonly cunning torture by Harry, or if Harry's already sloppy standards are slipping even more.

 

[Alfredian]

Like a man in a market-town nightclub after 10 pints, Yakut has the desire, but he could go home with anything.

 

[iain_a_wilson]

Couldn't agree more with morningSIDEr's remark. And that screenshot was brilliant comic timing!

 

[loki100]

Great stuff, Yakut seems a promising Rurikovich. This line;

Coupled with the following screenshot was simply wonderful. That is the lesson though, if you do too much of that, you will end up blind. Considering Yakut's rapidly rising fertility levels he is certainly doing too much of something. Or perhaps too little...

Couldn't agree more with morningSIDEr's remark. And that screenshot was brilliant comic timing!

There really are times when a CK AAR just writes itself, all you need do is press F11 every now and then ... after the leper who then had the chastity event, that was just too perfect to miss out on

Get a finnish wife!
Blood must be purified´!

I don't know that the Finnish influences on the Rurikovichs have been particularly beneficial - but then again, at this point I think no amount of genetic tinkering is going to salvage the Rurikovich line.

Yakut is an interesting variation, though: hyper-fertile, yet the blindness... I think MorningSIDEr is on to something...

Harry's treatment of Bugra - I can't decide if its uncommonly cunning torture by Harry, or if Harry's already sloppy standards are slipping even more.

No, I'm not sure that the Finnish years were exactly a showcase ... though by Rurikovich standards that bunch were fairly typical - inept, murderous, incompetent and sometimes boring to varying degrees.

Harry has other things on his mind than tending to the already damned ... so obsessed is he with his latest plan he even starts getting on with Astarte ...

Like a man in a market-town nightclub after 10 pints, Yakut has the desire, but he could go home with anything.

& you'll be pleased to know in the next update, that more or less is what he does do

 

[loki100]

Yakut, 1430-1435, starts tepid, ends pretty hot

Scene 1: Russia (ok its a big place)

Harry is wandering around, he is both bored and keen to create some suitably demonic action ... in truth he is bored

hah served you right, greed is a mortal sin you know:



if Astarte is down to the worms, she's bored as well



we've really got to do something to liven up this place, too much of this and we'll get a good reputation



may as well do some marital discord then?



That was more fun, now a quick murder



arrange for one Astarte's buxom wenches to visit and ...



a small war of revenge



oh this is looking so much better, now they are all perking up



Scene 2: the Party

Harry returns to scenes of wild jubilation, shouts of 'we get to win this time',

turns to the nearest demon

'have I missed anything?'




Does Yakut get to be Emperor? Just what does Harry think he is trying to achieve? Is there any evidence that Harry ever really thinks?​

 

[iain_a_wilson]

Harry's great - although his actions are something we've all done when playing Paradox games. I remember beefing up my Royal Navy in Victoria once and starting a war with France purely to try out my funky new ships. Although, World War I kind of came about in similar circumstances...

 

[Enewald]

How can he see if the wench is irresistible?
And young?
And even a female wench?

 

[morningSIDEr]

Good stuff and good on Harry, sowing some discord, creating some chaos. The Rurikovich Empire would be far worse without him. Well, probably far more progressive, powerful and rich but worse due to everyone being bored by the shocking levels of competence. Anyway, now the Byzantines shall suffer!

 

[Stuyvesant]

Wow, that was an amazingly competent streak for Harry there: adultery, murder, some more adultery... Astarte's efforts at inducing some worms seems paltry in comparison (and that's an unusual circumstance, for Harry to look more competent than Astarte).

Byzantium's back for more - poor decision on their part, whichever way it pans out: the close proximity is bound to cause contagion.

 

[Alfredian]

How can he see if the wench is irresistible?
And young?
And even a female wench?

She probably smelled very nice. Maybe she was carrying a pie, or a pint of beer.

 

[loki100]

Harry's great - although his actions are something we've all done when playing Paradox games. I remember beefing up my Royal Navy in Victoria once and starting a war with France purely to try out my funky new ships. Although, World War I kind of came about in similar circumstances...

yes the sort of ... I have it, may as well do it model of international relations?

How can he see if the wench is irresistible?
And young?
And even a female wench?

She probably smelled very nice. Maybe she was carrying a pie, or a pint of beer.

well Alfredian has given some answers, also just because he's blind doesn't mean he can't touch?

Good stuff and good on Harry, sowing some discord, creating some chaos. The Rurikovich Empire would be far worse without him. Well, probably far more progressive, powerful and rich but worse due to everyone being bored by the shocking levels of competence. Anyway, now the Byzantines shall suffer!

Wow, that was an amazingly competent streak for Harry there: adultery, murder, some more adultery... Astarte's efforts at inducing some worms seems paltry in comparison (and that's an unusual circumstance, for Harry to look more competent than Astarte).Byzantium's back for more - poor decision on their part, whichever way it pans out: the close proximity is bound to cause contagion.

aye its almost doing evil by numbers ... he sort of carries on in the next episode, but it contains a big plot shift ... and a warning that if you are blind don't lead your army into battle ....

 

[loki100]

Yakut, 1435-1436, in which he stumbles blindly to his end

Scene 1: Russia

Astarte, Harry, Odin and Freyja have popped out for some fresh air.

They decide to go for a ride.



Things happen.




people die


Just as they turn to go back, a number of large angels turn up.

"Satan, Astarte ... we want a word"

Scene 2: Michael's rather nicely furnished, restful room in Heaven

He is talking to his legal advisers

"ok, so you're sure, old Pagan Gods are out of our jurisprudence"

"yes"

"so he has to stay in Nilfshelm"

"ok, but review the rest of this list ... there is so much to correct – that one, is on spur 2 in purgatory, should be circle 6 in Hell"

Satan and Astarte are brought in

"ah so good to see you both"

"why is it time for Yakut's trial?"

Michael looks annoyed

"there will be changes in that area ... from now on Divine Justice is going to be somewhat less of a haggling session between dieties and .... and ... well more Divinely ordained"

"can you do that?"

"anyway, we've decided"

"we?"

"yes, we ... have decided you both need to go to Hell. But the place needs to be better organised, now here's how it will work .... "

Several hours later, Harry and Astarte emerge

"did you understand that?"

"no, now lets get this right. You pay me for the damned, that you torture with the pitchfork you hire from me .. and you use that money to pay the demons?"

"must be a mistake ... maybe we should go back and ask him again?"

"nah ... lets ... do our own thing"

Scene 3: the party

Several Rurikovich are pointing out to Bugra that Yakut is conducting the war so much better than him



as he points out ... yes, letting a blind man lead an army is always a good idea





will wee Alp finish off Byzantium before all Russia revolts? What is the chance of Harry being allowed to continue with the old ways? Does anyone understand Michael's plan for Hell?​

 

[Enewald]

At least you got an heir ready and mother still alive, it could be much worse.

 

[morningSIDEr]

Michael's plan seems wonderfully confusing - clearly that is part of the plan. Confound Harry and Astarte so much that he can do as he wishes whilst they attempt to deduce what the devil he has proposed. As for Yakut's sudden and unforeseen (certainly unforeseen by him!) death, hopefully Alp can finally be the Rurikovich to crush the Byzantines!