Indeed, we need to talk. We are unhappy about our favorite character being locked away. We would be less unhappy though if the new Count would still consider going on Crusade...
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Oh...God...too...many....plot...twists...such...a...short...time...
"We need to talk."
Indeed. Apter words are surely not spoken often.
I think 'Drip...Drip...Drip...' has now entered my lexicon as an entirely new phrase.
Were these events from the game or is your imagination responsible for this overload of plot device goodness?
TheExecuter
"We need to talk."
Indeed. Apter words are surely not spoken often.
I think 'Drip...Drip...Drip...' has now entered my lexicon as an entirely new phrase.
Were these events from the game or is your imagination responsible for this overload of plot device goodness?
TheExecuter
Thanks as always for the comments! Highlight of my day...which isn't saying much, considering that otherwise, the mortar attacks would be the highlight of my day. :rofl:
@TheExecutor: A bit of both. I downloaded BOPACK (and this is my first game/AAR with it), so the following events actually did happen:
1) Baldwin fell out of a tower and became crazy.
2) Marshal/Brother William claimed to be attacked, and was exhiled.
3) Annelies was put in a cell for alleged cheating.
4) The Holy Grail is suspected to be somewhere around Palestine.
5) Baldwin was "locked away for good."
Then I just took those five events (so far...there are many more exciting ones to come!), weaved them into my story about a butterfly and Juvenal Quentis, and away we go!
@TheExecutor: A bit of both. I downloaded BOPACK (and this is my first game/AAR with it), so the following events actually did happen:
1) Baldwin fell out of a tower and became crazy.
2) Marshal/Brother William claimed to be attacked, and was exhiled.
3) Annelies was put in a cell for alleged cheating.
4) The Holy Grail is suspected to be somewhere around Palestine.
5) Baldwin was "locked away for good."
Then I just took those five events (so far...there are many more exciting ones to come!), weaved them into my story about a butterfly and Juvenal Quentis, and away we go!
Just a quick question for you guys: I appreciate all of the positive feedback, of course, but what would you suggest for improvements?
I know most AARs here have a lot of screenshots, etc. I stayed away from that here because I felt it would take away from the story. The game's version of Reinel, for example, looks nothing like how I imagine him when I write. But...if you guys would prefer pics, I'll find some way to incorporate them.
Let me know what you guys think about how to improve! Thanks!
I know most AARs here have a lot of screenshots, etc. I stayed away from that here because I felt it would take away from the story. The game's version of Reinel, for example, looks nothing like how I imagine him when I write. But...if you guys would prefer pics, I'll find some way to incorporate them.
Let me know what you guys think about how to improve! Thanks!
Spring, 1072 - Northern France
Reinel drew his sword, putting himself between Juvenal and Annelies.
"What have you done with my family?"
"Relax...they are perfectly safe. Your wife has simply taken your sons to the market."
"If you're lying..."
"I'm not. Now, let's talk."
"Get out of my house."
"Count Reinel, you need to listen to me. I know you felt your brother was crazy...for all I know, you're probably right. But he DID see a butterfly."
"I know. I was there, Juvenal. I saw it too. But it wasn't magic...just a butterfly."
"Then you will recognize this."
Juvenal held up a sliver of metal.
"Of course. It was stuck to the foot of the butterfly. My brother nearly killed himself, trying to get it."
"And you took a good look at it, I suppose."
"Of course, Juvenal. Now get out of my house, before I call the guards."
"Oh, we'll get to that in a moment. Take another look. See this, right here? What do you suppose that is?"
"It's nothing. Meaningless scratches."
"No...it's writing. Specifically, in Hebrew."
"The language of the Jews."
"Exactly. Care to guess what it says?"
"I really don't care, Juvenal. Now, I'm not going to ask again. Get out of my..."
"Made In Jerusalem."
"I don't see what that has to do with..."
"Think about it, Count Reinel. How does a butterfly pick up a piece of metal in Jerusalem, and carry it all the way to Northern France without dropping it?"
"This is ridiculous. The piece of metal could have been carried here by caravan, and then the butterfly got it."
"I'm telling you, Count. The butterfly..."
"You are mistaking me for my brother, Juvenal. He may have been crazy, but I'm not. I have no interest in travelling across the world in search of some lost cup. If you want to, fine. You are released from service. Go. Enjoy. But you go on your own."
"I don't think you fully grasp the reality of the situation, Count Reinel."
"No. I think it is you who have misjudged me, Juvenal. I have just jailed my own brother. Do you think I will somehow have more mercy on a foreigner who has broken into my residence?"
"I am not as easily fooled as your brother, Reinel. How exactly do you plan to imprison me?"
"I will call the guards."
"I am their marshal, Reinel. As I said, you are failing to grasp the reality. The guards are under my control. You are attempting to illegally seize the throne. It is I who should jail you, and free your brother. They may be your guards, Count Reinel...but they report to me."
Reinel glared at Juvenal, attempting to stare him down.
Juvenal glared in return.
But it was the Lady Annelies who...having watched the exchange in silence...finally had something to say.
"I believe I may have a solution."
Reinel drew his sword, putting himself between Juvenal and Annelies.
"What have you done with my family?"
"Relax...they are perfectly safe. Your wife has simply taken your sons to the market."
"If you're lying..."
"I'm not. Now, let's talk."
"Get out of my house."
"Count Reinel, you need to listen to me. I know you felt your brother was crazy...for all I know, you're probably right. But he DID see a butterfly."
"I know. I was there, Juvenal. I saw it too. But it wasn't magic...just a butterfly."
"Then you will recognize this."
Juvenal held up a sliver of metal.
"Of course. It was stuck to the foot of the butterfly. My brother nearly killed himself, trying to get it."
"And you took a good look at it, I suppose."
"Of course, Juvenal. Now get out of my house, before I call the guards."
"Oh, we'll get to that in a moment. Take another look. See this, right here? What do you suppose that is?"
"It's nothing. Meaningless scratches."
"No...it's writing. Specifically, in Hebrew."
"The language of the Jews."
"Exactly. Care to guess what it says?"
"I really don't care, Juvenal. Now, I'm not going to ask again. Get out of my..."
"Made In Jerusalem."
"I don't see what that has to do with..."
"Think about it, Count Reinel. How does a butterfly pick up a piece of metal in Jerusalem, and carry it all the way to Northern France without dropping it?"
"This is ridiculous. The piece of metal could have been carried here by caravan, and then the butterfly got it."
"I'm telling you, Count. The butterfly..."
"You are mistaking me for my brother, Juvenal. He may have been crazy, but I'm not. I have no interest in travelling across the world in search of some lost cup. If you want to, fine. You are released from service. Go. Enjoy. But you go on your own."
"I don't think you fully grasp the reality of the situation, Count Reinel."
"No. I think it is you who have misjudged me, Juvenal. I have just jailed my own brother. Do you think I will somehow have more mercy on a foreigner who has broken into my residence?"
"I am not as easily fooled as your brother, Reinel. How exactly do you plan to imprison me?"
"I will call the guards."
"I am their marshal, Reinel. As I said, you are failing to grasp the reality. The guards are under my control. You are attempting to illegally seize the throne. It is I who should jail you, and free your brother. They may be your guards, Count Reinel...but they report to me."
Reinel glared at Juvenal, attempting to stare him down.
Juvenal glared in return.
But it was the Lady Annelies who...having watched the exchange in silence...finally had something to say.
"I believe I may have a solution."
- 1
Mortar attacks? Wtf?
In my opinion, the main thing for improvement would be longer updates. Then again, the shorter chapters make updates more frequent, so that is entirely your choice. In else, the main thing is to keep this one alive, because this is good shit.
In my opinion, the main thing for improvement would be longer updates. Then again, the shorter chapters make updates more frequent, so that is entirely your choice. In else, the main thing is to keep this one alive, because this is good shit.
@Snugglie: ha, yep. I'm in Balad, Iraq. But mortar attacks aren't nearly as exciting as you might imagine.
As for the suggestion, thanks! I tend to glaze over some AARs here that are long-winded (especially if there are no pictures)...but I think that's because they're all too smart for me. I'm more than happy to extend the posts, if that's the general consensus.
I'm going to shoot for three updates a day while I'm over here...since I can access this from work, and I've got 12-hour shifts, six days a week. But we'll see how that goes.
Any more suggestions?
As for the suggestion, thanks! I tend to glaze over some AARs here that are long-winded (especially if there are no pictures)...but I think that's because they're all too smart for me.
I'm more than happy to extend the posts, if that's the general consensus.I'm going to shoot for three updates a day while I'm over here...since I can access this from work, and I've got 12-hour shifts, six days a week. But we'll see how that goes.
Any more suggestions?
Spring, 1072 - Northern France
"Why do you want this lost cup so badly?"
"This lost cup, as you put it, happens to be the cup used to hold the blood of Christ, during the Last Supper."
"But this was over a thousand years ago. You are convinced the cup still exists?"
"I am positive."
"And you want this cup...why? Personal wealth?"
"Lady Annelies, I am not a treasure hunter. I seek something far more meaningful."
"And what is that?"
"Immortality."
"Immortality. Is that all?"
"You may laugh if you wish, Lady Annelies. But it is desperately important that I survive for a thousand years."
"You wish to find a cup from a thousand years ago, so that you can live for a thousand years into the future?"
"Yes."
"Well...you certainly dream big, Monsieur Quentis."
"You couldn't possibly understand."
"Oh, I understand a little something about destiny, Monsieur. You see...my husband locked me away just because he believed it was my destiny to become a murderer. A belief you encouraged by claiming to have spoken to this butterfly as well."
"I am sorry if..."
"Reinel needs to be free to rule the county, now that my husband is no longer up to the task."
"My task is far more important than that."
"If he takes you to Jerusalem...if Reinel succeeds in conquering that city so that you are free to search for your mysterious cup...what will you do then."
"Lady Annelies...if I can find that cup..."
Juvenal looked down at the sliver of metal in his hand, then back into the lady's eyes.
"...then I will disappear."
Annelies glanced at Reinel, who nodded.
"That is all we ask."
Reinel sheathed his sword and stepped forward.
"We leave at daybreak. Now...get out of my house."
"Why do you want this lost cup so badly?"
"This lost cup, as you put it, happens to be the cup used to hold the blood of Christ, during the Last Supper."
"But this was over a thousand years ago. You are convinced the cup still exists?"
"I am positive."
"And you want this cup...why? Personal wealth?"
"Lady Annelies, I am not a treasure hunter. I seek something far more meaningful."
"And what is that?"
"Immortality."
"Immortality. Is that all?"
"You may laugh if you wish, Lady Annelies. But it is desperately important that I survive for a thousand years."
"You wish to find a cup from a thousand years ago, so that you can live for a thousand years into the future?"
"Yes."
"Well...you certainly dream big, Monsieur Quentis."
"You couldn't possibly understand."
"Oh, I understand a little something about destiny, Monsieur. You see...my husband locked me away just because he believed it was my destiny to become a murderer. A belief you encouraged by claiming to have spoken to this butterfly as well."
"I am sorry if..."
"Reinel needs to be free to rule the county, now that my husband is no longer up to the task."
"My task is far more important than that."
"If he takes you to Jerusalem...if Reinel succeeds in conquering that city so that you are free to search for your mysterious cup...what will you do then."
"Lady Annelies...if I can find that cup..."
Juvenal looked down at the sliver of metal in his hand, then back into the lady's eyes.
"...then I will disappear."
Annelies glanced at Reinel, who nodded.
"That is all we ask."
Reinel sheathed his sword and stepped forward.
"We leave at daybreak. Now...get out of my house."
- 1
Now, he sure was easy to convince. Rest assured, Reinel would have been spared a lot of trouble if he only had cut the head off of Quintus.
Reinel would rather face Muslim troops, with the backing of his own men, than have to face his own troops...with not even a butterfly backing his moves.
I think that the current format works quite well. If you are going to make the updates longer I think you might want to spark things up a bit by using colour or put in an image here or there. I think images added should not be CK screenshots as that doesn't feel right for this AAR (perhaps a mechanical butterflyActinguy said:
). However with this amount of updates you wont hear me complaining
I've decided on a way to fancy up the story.
Titles...from my favorite source ever!
I only wish I'd started this from the beginning. "Life in a box is better than no life at all" would have been perfect for any of our dungeon-dwellers. ;c)
Titles...from my favorite source ever!
I only wish I'd started this from the beginning. "Life in a box is better than no life at all" would have been perfect for any of our dungeon-dwellers. ;c)
Improvements...improvements...
I for one don't see the need for pictures, your descriptions have been pretty good so far. Actually, I suppose a map or two wouldn't be out of place...especially if the location is obscure.
Please don't go for longer installments. Your pacing right now is excellent. Just enough information to make a coherent scene...with a little hook at the end to keep all of us addicts waiting for the next one.
The new count seems quite malleable...lets hope he doesn't end up listening to the dripping too!
SHE"LL KILL THEM ALL!
TheExecuter
P.S. Just a thought, is Juvenal male?
I for one don't see the need for pictures, your descriptions have been pretty good so far. Actually, I suppose a map or two wouldn't be out of place...especially if the location is obscure.
Please don't go for longer installments. Your pacing right now is excellent. Just enough information to make a coherent scene...with a little hook at the end to keep all of us addicts waiting for the next one.
The new count seems quite malleable...lets hope he doesn't end up listening to the dripping too!
SHE"LL KILL THEM ALL!
TheExecuter
P.S. Just a thought, is Juvenal male?
I've Frequently Not Been On Boats
Spring, 1076 - Jerusalem
Count Reinel de Guines was not on a boat.
Oh, he had been on a boat. Been on a boat for well over a year. For this, he had his (ex?) sister-in-law to blame. Yes, she was right in that it was the easiest way to rid themselves of Juvenal. And, yes, she was right in that it would be the easiest way to secure his power...the people would be more likely to embrace their new ruler if he was gone for the first year or so, fighting their religious enemies.
But, dammit, he had just spent a year on a boat. He didn't care who was right. He cared about who had stuck him on a boat.
And he certainly had no interest in ever going on a boat again. Perhaps, after the war, he would lead his troops home the long way...on land. Sure it would take a few more years, but it would be worth it. Or, perhaps, he would just stay in Jerusalem. He could send for Ellijnore and his three boys. Let THEM be stuck on a boat for a year.
He wasn't going back on a boat. That much was sure.
They had landed in Jaffa, expecting to fight through that ancient port before pressing on to Jerusalem...but found, instead, that Jaffa had already fallen.
King Phillipe had somehow beaten them to the Muslim shore. Well...good. One less thing to worry about.
Reinel, Juvenal, and 1400 soldiers had pressed on to the city, preparing for battle.
But battle wasn't coming.
Jerusalem appeared, from the outside, to be deserted. No shopkeepers...no children playing in the streets...and most odd of all...no guards. Had they all headed west to fight off the French King? Or perhaps fled East, willingly handing over the Holy City without a fight?
No. It had to be a trap.
And so they lay outside the city, observing, for over a month.
And yet...still no sign of life.
It was Juvenal who finally insisted that the time was right. If they waited any longer, the Muslims might very well return to Jerusalem. They had to take it now.
A small voice in the count's head urged caution...but Reinel was none to eager to embrace voices in his head, after witnessing his brother's mental downfall. After all, the sooner this business was done, the sooner he could be rid of Juvenal and return to his family.
Without taking a boat, of course.
And so the order was given, and Reinel and Juvenal led the charge into the city.
For his troubles, Count Reinel de Guines caught an arrow with his neck.
Suddenly, he found himself wishing that he was on a boat.
- 1
Aww...has someone been on a plane for too long? Hoping you don't emulate your story...
I wonder what happens now...
TheExecuter
I wonder what happens now...
TheExecuter
@TheExecutor: Thanks for the feedback! I actually am planning a world map every time we flash forward to Johann Braun-Kennedy's time line (about every 25 game years, probably.) As for Juvenal's gender...the name "Juvenal Quentis" was actually the product of a random name generator, and the second I saw it, I loved it. I immediately pictured a young, prodigal black engineer...almost "Urkel" like, though not quite that extreme.
Of course, as the story has progressed, I'm now picturing him as being physically intimidating as well as prodigal...but in my mind, he's always been male.
And now, after giving that long-winded explanation, I've just figured out why you asked.
Of course, as the story has progressed, I'm now picturing him as being physically intimidating as well as prodigal...but in my mind, he's always been male.
And now, after giving that long-winded explanation, I've just figured out why you asked.
Oh my, crusades truly are pointless. No matter what you do, someone will always be angry enough at you to constantly try to kill you.
No matter what you do, someone will always be angry enough at you to constantly try to kill you.
No pics please. Maps are ok though if not in too great a number.
Also your format is very readable, one scene at a time and lots of updates. So I'd say keep it this way.
Also your format is very readable, one scene at a time and lots of updates. So I'd say keep it this way.
Who Are We, That So Much Should Converge On Our Little Deaths?
Spring, 1076 - Northern France
Royal Funerals were dreadful affairs.
This was clear even to Matilda le Blount, who...though she was exceptionally observant...was only three years old.
Matilda wandered through the crowd of legs, until she got to the area with the box...but there weren't any toys here either. All of the grown-ups seemed to have come to the same conclusion, because they were all crying.
Aunt Ellie seemed to be the most upset, though. She was standing over the box, crying about how it was all her fault. She kept saying something about having gone to the market...was she supposed to buy the toys? Aunt Annie was putting her arm around Aunt Ellie, trying to make her tears go away.
Matilda had heard a story from another kid about how Aunt Annie had been put in jail by some boy and then tricked him into going to jail instead. It was a funny story. Matilda liked Aunt Annie. She was like a princess from the fairy tales!
Of course, in the back of her mind, Matilda knew exactly why they were there. While part of her was still three years old, she was quickly maturing, intellectually. She knew exactly why Aunt Ellie was crying over the box.
Ellie blamed herself for his death.
Matilda wanted to go up to Aunt Ellie and tug on her dress, and say that it wasn't her fault.
But it wasn't a comforting nature in Matilda that fed that urge...she may have been a child prodigy, but she had yet to develop a sense of empathy.
No...it was something else entirely.
The truth.
Matilda knew Aunt Ellie wasn't to blame...because she knew exactly how the boy in the box had died.
But she didn't want to tell...
...because she didn't want to get in trouble.
- 1