Chapter 19 Part 2
An intruding chill woke Jean from his fretful sleep. A cool breeze through one’s window at night was not uncommon in these lands. But this was the kind of biting cold that reminded him of the more unpleasant aspects of winter in Champaign.
And was it just his imagination, or did he hear the floor creek? Did he hear the faint clank of steel plate? The faint rattling, screeching sound of a chain dragging itself on the ground?
No, no, certainly not. He must be hearing things. Did that mean he was going mad? Would madness be any better than ..whatever this was?
An echoing scream of agony put an end to those doubts and sent Jean flying under the covers.
As his senses returned, Jean felt the white heat of shame burn within him. Why was he cowering like a woman? Was he not a knight of Champaign. Was he not the son of Crusaders? The husband to one Queen, the father of another. Was he not the conqueror of Jerusalem itself? If anyone was coming to kill him, spectral, demonic, or mortal, he would stand up and face them as a man. If he was to die he would do so facing his enemy.
Jean cast aside the blankets and rose to his feet.
“Show yourself creature!”, he yelled.
The rattling reached a fever pitch. And then just stopped. At first Jean could not see his enemy. Then his eyes adjusted. A shape shimmered in the moonlight. It let out yet another terrible cry. The shape twisted and contorted until it bore a man’s form and face. A very familiar face.
"I have been through many torments. But the thought that my lord might be so afraid to see me is the worst of all!"
"Savary?!” That was impossible. He had been at the man’s deathbed. Heard his final labored breaths. Seen to his burial.
"What are you doing here?"
The butcher's smile on Savary’s face was what convinced Jean he was real. No trick of the light could imitate the malicious grin that Savary had worn so well. "What did you think I went to rest with the angels?"
Savary was obviously never going to make it to heaven, but it was probably not a wise thing to say to a ghost.
The shade smirked and Jean could not help but smirk in reply. He laughed on impulse. It started as a nervous titter and then the rest surged out of him like water from a broken dam.
"Yes. Laugh. Laugh at my suffering. It is richly deserved and I have done it myself more times than I can count. But the joke will be on you all too soon. If you do not mend your ways you will soon enough find yourself a shade just like me, weighed down by the chains of your sins, laughing at your own misery."
Suddenly Jean did not feel like laughing. "That can't be true. You are suffering this fate as a punishment for your greed and cruelty." He knew that not just because anyone could tell you that about Savary, but by looking at the chains on his legs, which were inscribed with his sins. And a list of names. Lilly, Flower, Adelise, Ms Fluffy?
Savary put his hand to his chin in a parody of consideration. “Yes, it is true. You were never the type to lust after money or women, nor to torture cats and girls."
"Pardon me, but did you say cats?"
Savary shook his head and sighed. “Yes, for every kitten I drowned, they added one iron to my chain."
"Dear God!" exclaimed Jean. Savary’s chain stretched the length of the room. Knowing how much he had loved to drown cats, it probably extended halfway around the city."
"And also the dogs, men, and little boys. My list of misdeeds is long indeed. Still, your Grace, I am sure you can admit, if only to yourself, that you have your own vices, your own names to add to your shackles?”
Jean straightened himself up indignantly. "I am no such man. I am a knight of Christ, not some common born cutthroat."
Savary extended a finger like a lecturer at a university. "And right there is one of them. And we both were indeed knights of Christ. He used us just as you used me. Fully knowing what we were. We had our usefulness, but that does not mean we are fit to see heaven."
Jean was genuinely puzzled. “I still cannot see what I have done that makes me different from any other Lord? I have never raped a woman, never tortured animals, never ordered a town sacked unless they deserved it."
Savary sighed. "I tried to say something similar. But they did not accept my excuses. You may have not committed those black deeds yourself, sir. But you set me, your rabid dog, loose among innocents, knowing full well what I was. And there was a certain Christian soldier. A regal sort of man. One who had everything you wanted.”
A tightness, like that of a hangman’s noose, gripped Jean’s chest. "Savary! Shut your fucking mouth or I'll.."
"Shut it for me?” He made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. “I'm dead Jean. I no longer care about these sorts of things. You would be harming yourself more than me. For I am beyond saving. But you are not. Tonight, three Ghosts will come to you. Three familiar shades. Maybe they will show you what I cannot."
And with that, the ghost of Savary dematerialized and swooshed out the window like a gust of wind. Jean after him and beheld a sandstorm of damned souls. Thousands of men and women of all races and religions. He recognized the Bishop Guillaume, that thieving lecher he had sent to die in the dungeons. And for a chilling instant, he thought the tormented eyes of that false priest recognized him. It was as if they spoke and said: soon, you will join us!
And was it just his imagination, or did he hear the floor creek? Did he hear the faint clank of steel plate? The faint rattling, screeching sound of a chain dragging itself on the ground?
No, no, certainly not. He must be hearing things. Did that mean he was going mad? Would madness be any better than ..whatever this was?
An echoing scream of agony put an end to those doubts and sent Jean flying under the covers.
As his senses returned, Jean felt the white heat of shame burn within him. Why was he cowering like a woman? Was he not a knight of Champaign. Was he not the son of Crusaders? The husband to one Queen, the father of another. Was he not the conqueror of Jerusalem itself? If anyone was coming to kill him, spectral, demonic, or mortal, he would stand up and face them as a man. If he was to die he would do so facing his enemy.
Jean cast aside the blankets and rose to his feet.
“Show yourself creature!”, he yelled.
The rattling reached a fever pitch. And then just stopped. At first Jean could not see his enemy. Then his eyes adjusted. A shape shimmered in the moonlight. It let out yet another terrible cry. The shape twisted and contorted until it bore a man’s form and face. A very familiar face.
"I have been through many torments. But the thought that my lord might be so afraid to see me is the worst of all!"
"Savary?!” That was impossible. He had been at the man’s deathbed. Heard his final labored breaths. Seen to his burial.
"What are you doing here?"
The butcher's smile on Savary’s face was what convinced Jean he was real. No trick of the light could imitate the malicious grin that Savary had worn so well. "What did you think I went to rest with the angels?"
Savary was obviously never going to make it to heaven, but it was probably not a wise thing to say to a ghost.
The shade smirked and Jean could not help but smirk in reply. He laughed on impulse. It started as a nervous titter and then the rest surged out of him like water from a broken dam.
"Yes. Laugh. Laugh at my suffering. It is richly deserved and I have done it myself more times than I can count. But the joke will be on you all too soon. If you do not mend your ways you will soon enough find yourself a shade just like me, weighed down by the chains of your sins, laughing at your own misery."
Suddenly Jean did not feel like laughing. "That can't be true. You are suffering this fate as a punishment for your greed and cruelty." He knew that not just because anyone could tell you that about Savary, but by looking at the chains on his legs, which were inscribed with his sins. And a list of names. Lilly, Flower, Adelise, Ms Fluffy?
Savary put his hand to his chin in a parody of consideration. “Yes, it is true. You were never the type to lust after money or women, nor to torture cats and girls."
"Pardon me, but did you say cats?"
Savary shook his head and sighed. “Yes, for every kitten I drowned, they added one iron to my chain."
"Dear God!" exclaimed Jean. Savary’s chain stretched the length of the room. Knowing how much he had loved to drown cats, it probably extended halfway around the city."
"And also the dogs, men, and little boys. My list of misdeeds is long indeed. Still, your Grace, I am sure you can admit, if only to yourself, that you have your own vices, your own names to add to your shackles?”
Jean straightened himself up indignantly. "I am no such man. I am a knight of Christ, not some common born cutthroat."
Savary extended a finger like a lecturer at a university. "And right there is one of them. And we both were indeed knights of Christ. He used us just as you used me. Fully knowing what we were. We had our usefulness, but that does not mean we are fit to see heaven."
Jean was genuinely puzzled. “I still cannot see what I have done that makes me different from any other Lord? I have never raped a woman, never tortured animals, never ordered a town sacked unless they deserved it."
Savary sighed. "I tried to say something similar. But they did not accept my excuses. You may have not committed those black deeds yourself, sir. But you set me, your rabid dog, loose among innocents, knowing full well what I was. And there was a certain Christian soldier. A regal sort of man. One who had everything you wanted.”
A tightness, like that of a hangman’s noose, gripped Jean’s chest. "Savary! Shut your fucking mouth or I'll.."
"Shut it for me?” He made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. “I'm dead Jean. I no longer care about these sorts of things. You would be harming yourself more than me. For I am beyond saving. But you are not. Tonight, three Ghosts will come to you. Three familiar shades. Maybe they will show you what I cannot."
And with that, the ghost of Savary dematerialized and swooshed out the window like a gust of wind. Jean after him and beheld a sandstorm of damned souls. Thousands of men and women of all races and religions. He recognized the Bishop Guillaume, that thieving lecher he had sent to die in the dungeons. And for a chilling instant, he thought the tormented eyes of that false priest recognized him. It was as if they spoke and said: soon, you will join us!
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